Boys
On Facebook, I got friend requested by this boy I don't know. I checked out his profile. He was 18 and lived in a nearby town.
I denied his request, but he kept sending me messages. I responded once and now he knows my e-mail. What should I do?
Hey girl, it’s 100% not cool when a big, bad wolf tries to bother a poor li’l Red Riding Hood. But don't worry about it. I’ve got a few tips to get this creeper out of your life for good.
Facebook de-friend
Luckily, there’s a way to block and even report profiles on Facebook. Blocking profiles means people you don’t want seeing your info can’t see it period. Your page doesn’t show when they type your name, and they can’t contact you. On Facebook, to set this, go to the settings tab on the top bar and scroll down to Privacy Settings. There’s a block list and getting this dude off your profile is as easy as typing his name and then he’s gone for good.
X out all the e-mails
Depending on your e-mail provider, you can also filter his e-mail messages (have them sent directly to trash) or mark his address as spam. Remember, girl, NEVER EVER respond to this shady guy again. That’s just an invitation for further contact you don’t want. What he’s doing—harassing a minor— is actually illegal in some states. You have every right to report this guy’s profile on Facebook and to tell your folks or a greater authority if ya feel threatened.
Lesson learned
In the future, remember it’s never, ever all right to talk to strangers. Facebook and MySpace are great sites because they keep people connected. That said, they’re also treasure mines for personal info you may not mean to put out there. Be sure to change your privacy settings so only friends can see your contact info (it’s under the same Privacy Setting tab) and block strange creepers off the bat the next time they try to friend request you. As you know, don’t give out your e-mail, street address out or other identifying info out to peeps. And be careful choosing what personal info you put out on the web. It’s better safe than sorry, chica, and I’m sorry you had to learn that the hard way.
All in all, when it comes to staying connected with people, it’s as easy as an IM, Facebook message, or a tweet. But there’s a line to be drawn about what info’s harmless and harmful. When it comes to being a social network queen, every royal should know the importance of privacy settings. They keep social networking (and you!) safe and still in the loop. And what that means for you, Miss. Hood? A brighter, creeper-free future!
And if this creeper still tries to contact you? Don't stay silent, don't be embarrassed and SPEAK UP. None of this is your fault and you need to stop it before it becomes an even bigger problemo.
Infinite xoxo’s,
Alyssa B.
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 11/20/2009 7:00:00 AM 26 COMMENTS
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I am totally in love with my best friend's crush. She has been friends with the guy since third grade. But, I know for a fact he likes me back. If I go out with him, I'm afraid she'll get mad that I'm dating her crush. I don't know what to do!
I want to date him, but I don't want to hurt her feelings. Would that come between us? I don't know what to do anymore.
I also don't think that I can keep this from her any longer. We tell each other everything! I'm afraid when my BFF finds out my life will be over!
Hey there,
Eek! I liked my friend's BF once, so I def know where you're coming from. It's such a tough spot to be in, so let's think this one out!
It's time for a chat
It's a scary thing to do, but your BFF deserves to know what's going on. When you're hanging out by yourselves and it gets quiet, let her know that you have something to you want to tell her. Explain the sitch and let her know that you hate keeping things from her, but you really just didn't want to hurt her. And don't forget to give her time to react. Let her voice what's going on in her head, and really listen to her. She could react in a few diff ways....
Reaction #1: She's A-OK
Sure, she may be a little upset that you didn't tell her sooner (what are BFFs for anyways?), but she understands and doesn't want to let anything come between you two. BFFs before BFs, right? If this is the case, then you two can def work out some sort of agreement. Maybe you'll both try to hold off for a bit and see if it your feelings for this fella sizzle or fizzle.
Reaction #2: She's not OK
Worst case scenario: She's upset and feels betrayed that you didn't tell her about it. Is it really worth losing your BFF over a boy? Put this love on hold for a bit until she's all right. Explain to her WHY you like your mutual crush. Tell her that you think he likes you but you can't go out with her unless she is totally, 100% all right with you doing so.
Who knows, maybe over time, she'll be OK with it. For me, my friend was upset at first, but eventually got over it. I got the guy and my friend!
Either way, you're BFFs a.k.a. best friends FOREVER. That means nothing will split you two up in the long run. It's gonna cause some tension, but you'll feel sooo much better once you get this secret off your chest.
Good luck!
~Kristen Y.
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 11/13/2009 7:00:00 AM 78 COMMENTS
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I don't know what it is, but guys just don't seem to be interested in me. I am fairly attractive I would say. I can talk to boys but they think of me as a friend and nothing more.
My friend said it's because I'm too smart. Are boys intimidated by my intelligence or do they just not like me?
Hey Chica,
You're so not alone! I can confidently tell you that there are many girlies who go through exactly what you're going through. And you know what? You can get an awesome guy! Here's how.
Use your brain to get boys
First tip? Forget about being "too smart." If a guy can't handle your intelligence, he's obviously not good enough for you. However, you gotta show guys that being smart isn't something to be scared of. Let them know that you can help them with their math test or their projects in chemistry. Offer some homework help to that hottie in history. That'll give you and the boys more to bond about.
Find a hottie with the same hobbies
And seek out some new studs. Total math geek? Join the mathletes. You'll meet guys who are just as dorky about dividing decimals as you are. Dream of being a defense attorney someday? See if your school has a debate team. Doing something you love will up your confidence even more. Guess what? Dudes always dig a gal who's happy and havin' a great time.
Just be good ol' YOU
Don't forget to relax. Sometimes guys simply don't see what's right in front of them! Just be yourself and allow them to see your chill side. Guys can definitely sense that you're worried or awkward around them. So just let everything roll naturally. Every girl has her Prince Charming...all you gotta do is believe!
Best Wishes,
Jeannie
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 11/6/2009 7:00:00 AM 188 COMMENTS
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This boy and I are going to a dance together, but I'm not sure if we are going as friends or as more than that. He asked me to go homecoming with him because he heard that I liked him. When I asked him if he was going with me because of that, he said of course not. At sports games, we act like a couple and flirt the whole time. At school, we walk with each other, and at parties, we pretty much hang out the whole time together.
The only issue is that I don't know if we really are a couple. Sometimes he will flirt with me nonstop but the next day he'll avoid me. I almost feel like I like him a lot more than he likes me. He has even talked to my girlfriends about asking meout and his friends always tease me about him. How do I tell if he likes me more than just a friend? I'm so confused.
Hey girl,
I totally know how you feel. It's SO frustrating when boys circle around their feelings and never make it clear. But you know what? It just
might be that your almost-BF is confused just like you! He could be wondering right now, "does she like me or not?" So in order to solve this messy puzzle, here are some tips that will get you and your boy together for good!
Make sure this is ONLY about you and him
When you want a guy to know how you feel and you want to know what he feels you can't have the whole "she said, he said" deal. In other words, he shouldn't hear things through your friends and you shouldn't tune in so much to what his friends have to say about you and your guy. It should be simple: you talk to him; he talks to you. When word travels through a grapevine, it gets a little too crazy and sometimes too much for a person to handle.
Make the first move
If this guy asked you to homecoming, it¹s a pretty good sign that he's interested in you. So the first move was taken care of by the guy. But let's face it: homecoming is a HUGE event and it gets hectic. If you really want to get closer to him or at least know what's going on in his mind, make the next move and ask him out. Watch a movie, grab something to eat, and just make sure the entire school isn't around. It'll give you more one-on-one time to REALLY talk.
Don't panic over his little actions.
It's great to flirt and hang with the guy you like. But just because he doesn't act into you every day or all the time, does NOT mean that he¹s trying to avoid you. Like any person, your guy probably needs some space and time. Who doesn't? If you keep it cool and let the flirting happen naturally, he'll like how chill you are. I know these tips aren't drastically big steps, but that's all you'll need in this crush-mess. He'll have the chance to really get to know you and appreciate you more than he ever did. And that will undoubtedly let your
guy realize what he's gotta do. ;]
Best wishes,
Jeannie
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/30/2009 7:00:00 AM 86 COMMENTS
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