I have a BF...that I've never met

I really like this guy I’m going out with…the only problem is we’ve never met! I know he’s not a total creep because he’s friends with my BFF.  

Most of my friends think it’s weird that I’ve never even met him. Is it weird? I don’t know what to do now.

I’m so happy to hear you’ve found a great guy. Sure, your relationship may be a bit unconventional, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make it work.

Your friends are right that you should meet your BF. To have a good relationship, you need to make sure that you’re comfy hangin’ out in person, too. Next time you talk, ask him if he wants to go to the movies or grab dinner over the weekend.  It can be kinda hard asking a guy on a date, but the good news is—you already know he’s totally into you! Ease the awkwardness the first time around by asking your dude out on a group date. This way you'll be surrounded by friends if you feel weird at any point.

If you and your BF have been getting along really well over the phone, IM and texts, chances are, you’ll get along face-to-face, too. It may be a li’l strange at first (especially if you're super-shy!), but just relax and things will ease up. This is the same guy you’ve been talking to all along, so there's no need to worry. Just be yourself and have fun!

If things don’t go quite as you expected after a few dates, then it might be time to reevaluate. Sometimes guys and gals get along really well virtually, but lack some of that special chemistry in person. If that’s the case, just let him know that you love chatting with him, but you’re just not feeling that spark. If you’re sweet about it, I’m sure he’ll understand.

Good luck, girl!  I hope things work out for you and your BF!

ARE BOYS GIVING YOU THE BLUES? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

BY CAITLIN R. ON 3/19/2010 7:00:00 AM 51 COMMENTS

Breaking up...making up?

I have this boyfriend who I never really get to talk to alone. He wants to talk to me, but his guy friends and even other girls pull him away. When one girl said she needed to talk to him in private, not only did I go off on her, but I gave my boyfriend quite an earful, too!

Now he thinks I want to break up with him. Should we break up, or talk it out?

Hmm...think this through before calling it quits. Weigh out the pros and cons and figure out if YOU wanna break up or try to work things out.

Try confronting your cutie when he's alone (schedule a time in advance or write him an e-mail or letter than he can respond to on his own time). Don't make him feel cornered, but point out that his constant popularity has you feeling like an option, not a top priority. Be respectful of his feelings and say something like, "Hey, I think you're nice and it's great that you have lots of friends, but I'd like to get to talk to you alone every so often." Apologize for your dramatic flip out, and let him know that you're OK with him having girl friends, so long as he doesn't get flirty with them or ditch you to hang with them instead. Then, offer ways to remedy the sitch.

So, you say you never get to talk to your guy alone? Then when DO you get to talk to him? Have you ever gone on a date just the two of you? If you haven't, it's time to step up your game. OK, if you're too scared to take it to the one-on-one date level just yet, ask him to go on a double or group date with other couples. This way, everyone else will be so focused on their significant others that you'll have time to talk to yours. Oh, and make sure it's a venue where you can actually chat (um, that rules out the movies!) like a walk in the park (spring's almost here!), or an ice cream sundae date.

Can't seem to get your cutie to clear his sched for a li'l time with Y-O-U? Then you might wanna rethink the relationship. If your dude's too popular or too busy to commit, it's totally unfair to both of you. Yeah, it kinda stinks, but find a fella who's ready to give you what you deserve.

ARE BOYS GIVING YOU THE BLUES? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

BY CAITLIN R. ON 3/12/2010 7:00:00 AM 65 COMMENTS

Going out with my BGF?

I have been friends with my BGF forever. I like him, and I know he likes me. The thing is we are both really shy when it comes to the whole asking out people thing.

Word spreads fast in my school and I don't want anyone finding out. How can I ask him out without being embarrassed, scared or having the whole school find out?

Hey hon, if you really like your friend and he likes you, too, then there's nothing to worry about. Because you're both shy, maybe you can find creative, non-verbal ways to ask each other out, such as a cute text message or funny card.

You don't have to be afraid or embarrassed to ask your friend on a date. Chances are, he's just as nervous and he'll definitely appreciate it if you make the first move. The date doesn't have to be anything too romantic or serious either. Skip a candlelight dinner and go to a local roller skating rink. You'll have an awesome time on the ice and work up an appetite, too. Follow up your rink rendez-vous with a trip to your fave pizzeria and ice cream shop. A low-pressure date is a great way to get to know each other as more than friends.

You're right. If you go to a small school, word will travel fast. In middle school, it seems like everybody knows about everybody else's business. What matters is that you handle the situation with style and grace. You don't have to tell people all the mushy details about your dates. It's none of their business. If someone confronts you to get the scoop, you could change the subject, give 'em a short reply or just a simple "yes" or "no." Put it this way: Would you rather keep quiet and never date this dude or have to answer a few Qs from your classmates? Don't let anyone make ya feel embarrassed.

Bottom line is—you want to be more Beyoncé and Jay-Z than Spencer and Heidi. The first couple keeps their relationship private—the way it should be. The second couple, well, you know what a mess they are. Remember, at the end of the day, a successful relationship is between two people—not two people...and the whole world.

ARE BOYS GIVING YOU THE BLUES? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

BY CAITLIN R. ON 3/5/2010 7:00:00 AM 76 COMMENTS

Is this guy flirting or hurting?

I don't think any boys like me now but maybe it's because I can’t tell when they do! There is one boy that has a very strange crush on me. He stares at me all the time and so does his friend. He also asks me a lot of questions. Sometimes he seems kind of mean.

I don’t know if that means he likes me. What do you think?

Hey girl, it sounds like this guy is definitely interested in you in some way, shape or form. When it comes to admirers—both in terms of being friends or something more—the actions they take all follow the same pattern: Stare, chat and (maybe) make a move. Here's how to find out what this fella's true feelings are.

When it comes to this guy’s gaze, take note: He could be staring at you...or maybe you sit right below a major map in your American History class. Making eye contact and smiling is a great way to share a friendly signal with this guy. When you two stare, do you exchange smiles or does he quickly turn away? If he gazes right back, chances are he sweats you. But if he's doing an about-face each time you catch him, he might not.

Unless this guy is a reporter, there’s no good reason why he should be interrogating you each day. He prob likes you as a friend...or something more! Whether he likes ya or LIKE-likes ya is still the issue. Try asking your own questions next time and getting to know him better. If you’re extra bold, try asking stuff that will help get info about his motives. Next time he asks about your HW, just add a simple, "Yeah, I did the math worksheet already. Why?" Innocent inquiries like this will help you find out what’s up without him getting too suspicious.

One minute this guy is nice and the next he’s not? Pay attention to when this guy gets Jekyll and Hyde. Does he act differently around his pals? He's probably just trying to seem cool around his crew. Or is he taking his teasing too far? He might just be a mean guy. If that's the case, ignore him. He might just be looking for a reaction, and if you stare into space when he questions you, it's likely he'll leave ya alone.

Like him, too? Smile back and sneak glances at him. Ask him broad questions about what his weekend plans are; it’s a good way to hint you’d like him to be part of yours.

If you aren’t interested in him, don’t sweat his signals. Just ignore them, and he’ll catch the drift there, too. Remember, there are plenty of fish swimmin' in the Studmuffin Sea, and you're bound to catch a cutie soon enough. Keep your eyes peeled—you might have more admirers than you think.

ARE BOYS GIVING YOU THE BLUES? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

BY CAITLIN R. ON 2/26/2010 7:00:00 AM 118 COMMENTS