Never had a BF before!

I'm 15 and I've never had a boyfriend. All my friends have, and I’m not sure why I haven’t!

Is there something wrong with me?
 

Hey girly!  At your age, lots of guys and gals start dating. Ya know, relationships that are a bit more than just waving and smiling from across the classroom. But just because your besties are getting BFs doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you!

It’s totally normal to feel left out when your gal pals are off with their BFs, but there are tons of pluses to being a single sistah. You don’t have to stress about your first fight. Love talking to that guy in your English class? Chat away without worrying about a jealous boyfriend. And, most importantly, you have more time for Y-O-U. Spend that spare time trying out new hobbies, perfecting skills and doing stuff you love.

I’m not gonna lie to ya, it can be a lot of fun to have a BF. And newsflash: you can have an adorable date without having an official relationship. Ask a cute guy from geography to meet you at the pizza place to help you with your HW. Once you get to talking one-on-one who knows what will happen from there?

But beware of dating a dude just 'cause all of your other chicas are taken. Tons of gals start dating before they’re really ready. That girl who’s already had 15 BFs since school started? Believe me, you don’t want to be her. If you’ve dated a ton of guys, you won’t be taken seriously. Relationships aren’t meant to last only two hours…or even two days. Since you haven’t had a BF yet, your first relationship will actually mean something to you. 

For now, just sit back and enjoy! Talk to guys, get to know them better, make guy friends, and see what happens. Relationships that start out as friendships are often the best ones. So don’t fret! You’ll find your Prince Charming when the time’s right!

ARE BOYS GIVING YOU THE BLUES? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/23/2009 7:00:00 AM 159 COMMENTS

Dating behind my fam's back

I am dating this guy. He is amazing, don’t get me wrong, but I am “technically” not supposed to date. At all. We have gone out once and we talk ALL the time. He knows that I cannot date and he’s cool with it, but I just do not think I can do it any longer. I mean, if my parents ever find out, I’m dead.

Sounds like you have a pretty sweet relationship with a bitter twist. It stinks when mom and dad don’t approve of you dating—a girl needs her parent's support so her relationship can be its very best. The thing you’ve gotta keep in mind though is that your ‘rents aren’t trying to lock you up like Rapunzel: they’re looking out for you and want to make sure you’re mentally ready for a BF. But no worries, princess. I’ve gotta couple ideas that’ll help you please the king 'n' queen and keep the Prince Charming.

Sit down with them and ask them why they don’t want you to date. Chances are it’s ‘cause they don’t think you’re “mature” enough. But prove them wrong. Have a civil talk with them (no arguing or whining, girlie!) and see if you can reach a middle-ground. Maybe you’ve gotta go out with this guy in a group. Perhaps they wanna meet your potential BF first. Keep their feelings in mind—it’s a good way to show you’re compassionate, mature and can handle all the responsibility that comes with a relationship.

Mom and pops want to be involved in your life, and what better way to let ‘em get to know your main squeeze then having him meet them? I know, I know—major move if your ‘rents don’t approve, and I don’t suggest doing it pronto. Talk with your BF about your expectations for the relationship and sitch at home. Make sure he respects your boundaries. Get to know his folks, and see if his folks will talk to yours—that way there’s more communication between families and your darling mom and dad might be willing to bend their rules more if they see this guy really is one-in-a-million. When you’re ready, introduce him to the fam after he’s been played up, of course!

Keep in mind, li'l Juliet, that the reason your parents want to keep the leash on that Romeo is because they really are just looking out for you. Yeah, their rules may seem harsh, but they’re doing it with you in mind. Be happy they care enough, but know that with a li'l luck and persuading, you’ll def find that happy medium. Love always finds a way, girlie, and I’m confident that it will with you too if you take the right steps. Good luck!

ARE BOYS GIVING YOU THE BLUES? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/16/2009 7:00:00 AM 123 COMMENTS

The uncrushable curse


I keep getting crushes on guys I can't date. You know...celebs, significantly older/younger guys, fictional characters.... I do sometimes like guys who I CAN date, but never as much.

How can I get over my impossible crushes when I do like a dateable guy? How do I stop liking these guys? Thanks!
 


Hey girlie! We have all been a victim of fallin’ for those impossible and uncrushable fellas. I've definitely had a few out-of-reach crushes—ESPECIALLY when I was younger. My friend’s older brothers, Hollywood actors, even my history teacher! It happens to just about everyone.

The good news? You don’t have to give up entirely on guys who are out of your league. Hey, they’re fun to daydream about, and decorate the walls of your room with. But, you have to come up with conquests that are within your limits as well. How to find some REAL dateable dudes? Try making a last of boys in your classes who make you blush. This will show you that there ARE fellas out there other than Zac Efron. Once you’ve found some potential hotties, kick yourself into dating mode and see if you can snag yourself a real-life Romeo that you don’t have to see by turning on the TV or going to the movies.

Remember, you don’t have to completely stop having crushes on these celebs, older or younger guys and fictional characters. You just have to draw the line somewhere. So crush away on these untouchable hotties, but they shouldn’t keep you from going after guys you could have a chance with in real life.

Unfortunately, when it comes to romance, not many boys are exactly like the sweet and sensitive charmers in our fave rom-coms. Having a real-life romance means accepting another individual for who they are, flaws and all. Another thing to consider? Maybe you're just not better for a real relationship, so you keep on crushin' on hotties who you know you have no chance with. If that's the case, no worries. Dream away and someday (when you're ready!) your prince will come. I promise!

ARE BOYS GIVING YOU THE BLUES? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/9/2009 7:00:00 AM 135 COMMENTS

Love across religious lines

I have an issue with my boyfriend. 

I really love him, BUT there's one huge issue. He's Methodist and I'm Southern Baptist. I don't know what the differences are, but I'm sure there are some. Can you tell me what they are and how to kinda overcome them?

I know we're both Christians, so that's good, but I don't want to say something and accidentally offend him. I truly know NOTHING about the Methodist religion. 

P.S. I'm eleven and he's twelve, so we really don't have any control over anything like going to other churches.

Hey girl!  I’m so happy that you’ve found a great guy!  Even though you are both Christian, I'm sure there are a few diffs.

Traditionally, Southern Baptists are more conservative, and strive to “save” souls.  They also believe in adult baptism instead of infant baptism. Methodists usually have broader views, and they allow adult baptism and infant baptism (christening). The church organization and leadership works in a lil’ bit of a diff structure, but both religions have pretty similar worship and beliefs.

Do some research. Investigate a bit to find some basic info on your BF's religion. But, the best thing for you to do is to talk to your BF. Next time you’re hangin’ out, talk about your religions. It could be as simple as, "Hey, I'm headed to my church this Sunday, but just curious—what goes on at yours?" Explain your traditions and beliefs, then listen to his. You’ll find there are prob some diffs, but there will also be a ton of values you share. It could def bring you two closer, and help you understand each other’s faiths.

The most important thing to do is to keep an open mind. No two peeps agree on everything, and I guess religion is one of your things. If you two have diff beliefs, don’t try to change his mind, and don’t let him try to change yours either. Look at it this way—how boring would it be if the two of you felt the same exact way about everything? Snore! Accept it as a difference in views, and you two will be good to go. It’s important to be able to talk about serious things like this, and I know it can be kinda scary. But in the end, if you’re accepting of each one anothers' beliefs, it will only bring you two even closer. I hope this helps! 

BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/2/2009 7:00:00 AM 98 COMMENTS