Family
My BF and I hang out on the weekends and my family has known him for seven years. However, every time we hang out, my brother has to be there. (We hang out in public btw). My brother hates going to the place we hang out and he makes my mom come get us early, which takes time away from me and my BF’s time together. We only see each other on the weekends and we go to different schools. My brother is also really annoying to us and hangs over us all the time. How can I convince my mom to let me hang out with him without my brother there? I understand why my mom is making him go but I want to spend time with my BF without my brother around.
- Gabry
Well at least it's your brother tagging along and not your parents! But I totally understand that it's impeding on your quality time. Maybe if you went somewhere your brother enjoyed more, you'd have more time to hang out with your BF?
Or try to come up with some alternatives so your brother doesn't have to be around. Like, maybe you could hang out at your house instead. Maybe you could just watch a movie in the living room or something. Or maybe if you have a bunch of other friends with you, your parents wouldn't require your brother to tag along.
Try talking to your mom and let her know that you understand her reasoning for having your bro chaperone, but that it's cutting into your time with him because he always wants to leave early since of course it's not necessarily fun for him. If she's willing to compromise, I'm sure you guys can work out something that satisfies the both of you.
<3 Jessie M.
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BY ANDREA T. ON 5/10/2008 8:56:00 AM 166 COMMENTS
I need advice plz. O.K. so my cousin is making me mad. She's 15 and I’m 12 and I feel like she’s taking my friends. She doesn’t really fit in all that great with other freshmen because she’s home schooled. and I do fit in with people. So anyways, suddenly she's 'best friends' with a few of my friends and they seem to wanna hang out with her more because she’s 15! It’s annoying. Can u help?
-I'm just the girl you're looking for
Well, since it is hard for her to make friends otherwise, it’s good that she’s making friends. But when she starts “stealing” your friends, that’s a problem. Have you tried talking to her about the situation? Let her know that you’re glad she’s made friends and all, but you’re starting to feel left out because they’re choosing her over you. It might be hard to convince her to make her own friends if it’s so hard for her to make friends in general, but maybe you can at least get her to be a little more conscious about including you since they were your friends first.
You might also want to talk to your friends, too. Let them know that it’s cool if they want to be friends with her, but don’t use her just because she’s older. Let them know that you’re feeling left out and hopefully they’ll make an effort to include you. But in the long run, you may just have to accept the fact that they’re friends now; and just as with any other friend, you’re going to have to share. No one can be two places at once!
<3 Jessie M.
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BY ANDREA T. ON 5/3/2008 9:41:00 AM 154 COMMENTS
I want to date, but I don’t think I am allowed to. My parents really confuse me! About a year ago they said I could, but last week when my friend told them she wants to ask out my crush for me (she was just joking), they freaked! I feel like they don’t care about what I have to say. My bro is always talking about his GF. I feel like they are favoring my older bro over me.
-Daydreamer
Hey Daydreamer,
You have to remember that older siblings always get more privileges. I know we all feel like we're older and more mature than our parents tend to view us, but unfortunately it's just something we have to deal with. You're their little girl—they don't want to think about you dating!
In reality, they know that you're going to grow up and start dating eventually. They just don't want to admit that you're getting older (and that means they're getting older, too!). If you feel like you're getting overlooked when you're around your bro, try getting your parents alone to sit down for a conversation. Or ask them if you guys could plan some quality time for just you guys so you can get your turn to speak. Generally most parents are pretty receptive if you tell them how you're feeling, and they love you, so they would never want you to feel like they're favoring your bro over you.
<3 Jessie M.
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BY JIAE K. ON 4/26/2008 12:00:00 AM 172 COMMENTS
My mom won’t give me any privacy! I’m on Girlslife.com and she just bursts into my room and looks at my comments! I’m not doing anything wrong, but I do talk about things I don’t even talk to my closet friends about b/c it’s embarrassing. My parents won’t even let me have a lock on my door! They have to listen in on all of my phone conversations! I’ve told her a million times that I’m not doing anything bad but her rationale is, “People only want to keep something private if it’s bad.” How do I get her to give me a little privacy?
-girlwithoutalifeb/cofmom
Your mom just wants to keep you safe and make sure you’re not growing up too fast and doing things that are too mature for your age. Totally understandable. But there are limits and parents have to learn to give a little space at some point, because you’re not going to be a little kid forever. You will have to grow up eventually (unfortunately…lol).
You seem to have a close relationship with your mom, even if it’s a little suffocating sometimes, so sit her down and have a talk with her. Explain to her that when you’re on Girls’ Life, it’s not that you are doing anything bad, but it’s a place where you can go to talk about things you’re too embarrassed to talk about with your friends and parents. So obviously you don’t want your parents looking over your shoulder.
It might be necessary to give her an example, as embarrassing as it may seem, just to give her an idea. Her idea of what may be too embarrassing to talk to her about may be completely different (and a lot worse) than what you actually feel too embarrassed to talk to her about. Show her around the website and let her see for herself, even. Like you said, if it was inappropriate, we surely wouldn’t even post it. Most of the time it’s completely harmless questions that girls are just embarrassed to ask because it’s personal (periods are a major one) or they feel dumb for not knowing.
Let her know that you understand her fears, but she needs to trust that she did a good enough job raising you to make good decisions. Ask her what you can do to start gaining her trust and see if you can work out a compromise of increasing privileges. For example, maybe she’s not ready to let you have a lock on your door just yet but could at least agree to knock on your door before barging in.
<3 Jessie M.
BY JIAE K. ON 4/19/2008 12:00:00 AM 229 COMMENTS