Family
My grandpa is sick with lung cancer. Whenever I go to his house, all I can think about is that he is going to die soon.
I try to spend as much time as I can with him but it's hard.
Hey babe, I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa. Dealing with a sick family member can be really hard and I'm sure every girl out here can relate to you in some way or another.
Find comfort in your fam
It's great that you're spending as much time as possible with him. I know it's hard to see him sick, but being surrounded by family members probably eases your grandpa's pain more than you know. You should talk to your parents, siblings or aunts and uncles about how you're feeling and ask them how they're dealing with this. It helps when you can let some of your emotions out AND hear that other peeps feel the same way. Talking to them can help you understand his cancer better, too. It's good to know what to expect with his illness and to be prepared for what may or may not come.
Get happy with gramps
Focus on the positives. Next time you see your grandpa, talk about some of your favorite memories you've shared. Just be there for him. You don't have to be super-serious and nervous around him, just have fun and enjoy being with him. Maybe you could pack some cards and play a few rounds of a favorite game or let him teach you a new one if he's up to it. Take some pictures with him and the rest of your fam so you have those memories forever.
Just stick close to him and your family. Stay strong and you'll be able to get through this. Remember the girlies on GL are always here if you wanna talk.
-Katie S.
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 11/14/2009 7:00:00 AM 32 COMMENTS
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My mom is always telling me that she's fat and needs to lose weight. She told me I have to help her eat healthy and make sure she gets out to exercise. When I tell her to eat healthier or ask her to come take a walk with me, she either gets mad or tells me she doesn't feel like it.
When I don't try to stay healthy, she'll get mad at me, too! I've tried talking to her about it and she told me she would try to do better, but she's not letting up. What should I do?
Hey girlie,
Make a game plan
It's awesome that you want to help motivate your mom to lose weight and start living a healthier lifestyle, but you have to remember that ultimately it's your mama's decision whether or not she wants to make the effort to change.
Lead by example
Continue to go for walks, work out and eat healthier. Your mom will notice your efforts. Hopefully this will give her new motivation and she'll gradually start to join in.
Go grocery shopping together, cook together, walk together, do work out videos together. Write up a contract with goals, target weights, meal plans and rewards—for both of you. Sit down together and talk to her about her ideal weight and diet plan.
You can only coach her so far...
Remember that even though she has asked for your help it is NOT your responsibility to make sure that she follows through. Don't push too hard and don't worry about her getting mad at you. Once she starts seeing results and noticing the closer bond that the two of you are forming she'll find her own motivation to work out and eat healthy.
Be there to support her and cheer her on, but also show your mom tough love. She needs to know that ultimately it's up to HER to change.
Get moving
xoxo
-Keltie
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 11/7/2009 7:00:00 AM 33 COMMENTS
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My parents have been fighting a lot and my dad left. He moved to a different state and wants either me or my sis to move in with him. The thing is, we're both happy here and if we go anywhere, it's together. My parents don't understand this and they said we have until next month to decide.
I want my little sister to feel comfortable, so I'm letting her choose where she goes but I really need help. I don't want to leave my friends and school. And, I don't want to leave my sister! I haven¹t told anyone because it's embarrassing. They aren't even divorced yet! Please help me!
Hey chica,
I'm really sorry to hear that you¹re stuck in the middle of this pickle. Let¹s take it step by step and I promise you that you will feel more secure about this whole sitch.
Discuss it with mom and dad
First talk it out with the 'rents. Neither your mom nor pops should ever expect you and your sister to simply make a choice and be fine with it when it can change your entire lives. There is no question that you should have a say in solving this mess, or at least a way to let out your feelings. Don't feel comfy confronting mom and pops? Give them a letter where you respectfully and maturely tell them your thoughts on the situation.
Lean on your BFFs!
Secondly, don't be embarrassed. Sure, it's not something to tell the whole world, but you shouldn't feel like you can't tell anyone. Whether or not you tell the details about this problem is your choice. However, it never hurts to vent it out to the girlies you trust the most. After all, you and your sister's decision could affect your friends.
Stay strong
Lastly, whatever the outcome is, stay strong. This doesn't mean that you should totally ignore your true feelings and simply move on. Instead, find a stress-free zone by surrounding yourself by the people you love. Listen to encouraging music (how 'bout "Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavigne), and remind yourself that everything will work out in the end. If you can keep yourself together, that will help your little sister and the 'rents get through this rough time just a li'l bit better. Support each other and find a way to compromise.
Making a decision within the next month will be something tough to do. But the care you show for your sister and your sincere concern will definitely work for you and your sister's advantage in the end.
-Jeannie L.
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/31/2009 7:00:00 AM 30 COMMENTS
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I'm an only child and I want a sibling really bad! I keep telling and begging my parents to adopt a child because our church has an adopting program.
They just won't ever listen!
Hey girl,
I know how you feel. When I was younger, I wanted a little brother or sister so bad. Eventually, I got a baby brother and was so happy…until he learned how to talk. Just kidding! I know you must feel a li'l lost and lonely without a younger sib, but there are some ways to remedy the sitch.
R-e-s-p-e-c-t the 'rents
Adopting is a long, difficult process and it can take years for everything to go through. This could be one of the reasons why your parents don’t want to do it. Having kids is also expensive, and they may not feel like they have enough money to provide for both you and a younger sib. If you have told them how you really feel and they still don’t want to adopt, then you have to respect their wishes.
Get your own sib...sorta!
However, there are some great programs you can get involved in so you can be around little kids. Check around and see if your church or community has a big brother/big sister program. These services are gaining popularity because they give older peeps (like you) a chance to interact and learn from younger kids, while giving the little ones a chance to learn from older, more experienced guys and girls. Often, both the big and the little create that unique, sibling bond and stay friends for life.
Remember, we don’t always get what we want, but there are always ways around the situation that could lead to an even better outcome.
-Liz L.
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/24/2009 7:00:00 AM 59 COMMENTS
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