Family
My mom is always telling me that she's fat and needs to lose weight. She told me I have to help her eat healthy and make sure she gets out to exercise. When I tell her to eat healthier or ask her to come take a walk with me, she either gets mad or tells me she doesn't feel like it.
When I don't try to stay healthy, she'll get mad at me, too! I've tried talking to her about it and she told me she would try to do better, but she's not letting up. What should I do?
Hey girlie,
Make a game plan
It's awesome that you want to help motivate your mom to lose weight and start living a healthier lifestyle, but you have to remember that ultimately it's your mama's decision whether or not she wants to make the effort to change.
Lead by example
Continue to go for walks, work out and eat healthier. Your mom will notice your efforts. Hopefully this will give her new motivation and she'll gradually start to join in.
Go grocery shopping together, cook together, walk together, do work out videos together. Write up a contract with goals, target weights, meal plans and rewards—for both of you. Sit down together and talk to her about her ideal weight and diet plan.
You can only coach her so far...
Remember that even though she has asked for your help it is NOT your responsibility to make sure that she follows through. Don't push too hard and don't worry about her getting mad at you. Once she starts seeing results and noticing the closer bond that the two of you are forming she'll find her own motivation to work out and eat healthy.
Be there to support her and cheer her on, but also show your mom tough love. She needs to know that ultimately it's up to HER to change.
Get moving
xoxo
-Keltie
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 11/7/2009 7:00:00 AM 6 COMMENTS
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My parents have been fighting a lot and my dad left. He moved to a different state and wants either me or my sis to move in with him. The thing is, we're both happy here and if we go anywhere, it's together. My parents don't understand this and they said we have until next month to decide.
I want my little sister to feel comfortable, so I'm letting her choose where she goes but I really need help. I don't want to leave my friends and school. And, I don't want to leave my sister! I haven¹t told anyone because it's embarrassing. They aren't even divorced yet! Please help me!
Hey chica,
I'm really sorry to hear that you¹re stuck in the middle of this pickle. Let¹s take it step by step and I promise you that you will feel more secure about this whole sitch.
Discuss it with mom and dad
First talk it out with the 'rents. Neither your mom nor pops should ever expect you and your sister to simply make a choice and be fine with it when it can change your entire lives. There is no question that you should have a say in solving this mess, or at least a way to let out your feelings. Don't feel comfy confronting mom and pops? Give them a letter where you respectfully and maturely tell them your thoughts on the situation.
Lean on your BFFs!
Secondly, don't be embarrassed. Sure, it's not something to tell the whole world, but you shouldn't feel like you can't tell anyone. Whether or not you tell the details about this problem is your choice. However, it never hurts to vent it out to the girlies you trust the most. After all, you and your sister's decision could affect your friends.
Stay strong
Lastly, whatever the outcome is, stay strong. This doesn't mean that you should totally ignore your true feelings and simply move on. Instead, find a stress-free zone by surrounding yourself by the people you love. Listen to encouraging music (how 'bout "Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavigne), and remind yourself that everything will work out in the end. If you can keep yourself together, that will help your little sister and the 'rents get through this rough time just a li'l bit better. Support each other and find a way to compromise.
Making a decision within the next month will be something tough to do. But the care you show for your sister and your sincere concern will definitely work for you and your sister's advantage in the end.
-Jeannie L.
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/31/2009 7:00:00 AM 30 COMMENTS
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I'm an only child and I want a sibling really bad! I keep telling and begging my parents to adopt a child because our church has an adopting program.
They just won't ever listen!
Hey girl,
I know how you feel. When I was younger, I wanted a little brother or sister so bad. Eventually, I got a baby brother and was so happy…until he learned how to talk. Just kidding! I know you must feel a li'l lost and lonely without a younger sib, but there are some ways to remedy the sitch.
R-e-s-p-e-c-t the 'rents
Adopting is a long, difficult process and it can take years for everything to go through. This could be one of the reasons why your parents don’t want to do it. Having kids is also expensive, and they may not feel like they have enough money to provide for both you and a younger sib. If you have told them how you really feel and they still don’t want to adopt, then you have to respect their wishes.
Get your own sib...sorta!
However, there are some great programs you can get involved in so you can be around little kids. Check around and see if your church or community has a big brother/big sister program. These services are gaining popularity because they give older peeps (like you) a chance to interact and learn from younger kids, while giving the little ones a chance to learn from older, more experienced guys and girls. Often, both the big and the little create that unique, sibling bond and stay friends for life.
Remember, we don’t always get what we want, but there are always ways around the situation that could lead to an even better outcome.
-Liz L.
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/24/2009 7:00:00 AM 48 COMMENTS
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I keep a diary and my parents are divorced so I switch between houses every week. I have this really big suspicion that my mom reads it on the weeks that I'm not at her house. For example, when I learned a secret about my mom I wrote it in my diary. The next week she took me into her room and asked me if I heard or saw something in her room. She was acting like I knew her secret.
Another night I got really mad at my stepdad because he was yelling at me. I wrote in my diary that I hated him. The next week I came back to my mom's house and she asked me if I felt badly about my stepdad. Does that mean she looks in it? If she does, how can I stop her? My diary already has a lock on it! I can't just go up to her and tell her to stop looking in it when I am not even positive that she actually is. I have considered putting a dirty, juicy lie that would make her concerned and see if she fesses up that she looks in my diary. What should I do? HELP ME!
Hey girl, keeping a diary is a good way to vent and really express yourself. I’ve been keeping one since I was 13 and it definitely helps me get through some tough times. But other people reading your private thoughts? Not so cool.
Ask mama if she's invading your privacy
You don’t know for sure if your mom is reading your diary, so you shouldn’t assume that she is. Instead of thinking she’s a snoop, it may be best to talk to her. Make sure you’re not confrontational and explain to your mother why your PRIVATE diary is important to you.
Try something along the lines of, “Hey Mom, my diary is really special to me and it would really make me uncomfortable if you read it. If you have a question about something, I would appreciate if you ask me about it first.”
Be honest!
Your mom will respect your honesty and she’ll be impressed by how maturely you've handled the situation. And if she were reading your diary behind your back, chances are she’ll think twice before opening it now. Keep the lines of communication open and you’ll have a great relationship. Good luck, hon, you can do it!
Lots of love,
L’Oreal
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/17/2009 7:00:00 AM 86 COMMENTS
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