Mom won't let me wear makeup

Everywhere I look I see friends, family and other people in school wearing eyeliner and mascara.

I've asked my mom a million times but she always says, “Why would you want that gunk on your face?”

I respect my mom's wishes, but it’s not like I would wear a ton of it. How do I convince my mom to let me wear just a little?

I get where you're coming from. Yeah, you wanna respect your mama's wishes, but this is a toughie. You feel like it's just a little makeup. But from your mom's perspective, this is a huge indicator of just how much you're growing up.

First off, I know you feel like everyone is wearing makeup,  but you gotta realize that a swipe of mascara or a pretty lip gloss is NOT the key to happiness or beauty. Yeah, yeah, it's totally over-used (but 100% true!)...inner beauty IS what counts. So, focus on the stuff that makes you feel good, like going for a jog, acing a test and helping an upset friend. Those traits—not perfectly applied eyeliner or sparkle eyeshadow—make ya special.

That said, makeup, when used correctly and sparingly, is FUN. One way to persuade your mom might be to have a “girl’s night in." This way, she can teach you how to put eyeliner and mascara on the right way! This will be a good bonding sesh for the two of you, AND you'll show her that you're serious about enhancing your beautiful facial features. You don’t want to hide your eyes behind that gunk, you just want to make them sparkle more! Something like, "Hey mom, I know you really don't want me to wear makeup, but could you at least show me how-to so I know what to do when the time is right?" Asking her advice instead of whining will show her how mature you're being about the situation.

The best way to respect your mom is to be patient. Don’t push her into teaching you or keep bugging her to wear makeup if she REALLY doesn’t want you to. If she thinks you aren’t ready, just let it go and try again in a couple of months. In the meanwhile, earn HER respect by offering to do more chores, getting straight As and being there for her. You'll feel good, gain more responsibility and be a better person for it. And remember: It's your inner beauty that REALLY makes you gorgeous.

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 3/20/2010 7:00:00 AM 55 COMMENTS

Dealing with divorce...and abuse

A month ago my parents got a divorce, and everyone has been fighting a lot. She even threatened to get back at my dad by not letting him see me until I turn 18. Sometimes when I voice my opinion in a reasonable way she yells at me and sometimes hits me.

I am to the point where I am about to say something that would really hurt her or accidentally hit her. Why should I suffer or show her respect when she doesn't give me any in return no matter how nice, patient and kind I am to her?

Family situations are definitely the most stressful and difficult to deal with. But everything will be OK in the end, so stay strong!

Most importantly, the thing that needs to happen first is for you and your mother to have a heart-to-heart. A divorce stresses everyone in the family out. Let her know that you’re there for her. Also let her know how her mistreatment is making you feel. If you don't feel like chatting mom up one-on-one, please write her a heartfelt letter. She needs to know how you feel.

Another thing that's a major concern is the abuse. Yes, you can talk to your mother, but I urge you to get help as well. Please talk to your guidance counselor or a trusted adult about what's happening. I know you love your mother and want to work things out. But, you also need to take care of yourself. And in the end, this will help your mother be the best mom as well. If you feel you need help ASAP, please head to our Tough Stuff hub for help hotlines.

Please don't ever blame yourself for anything that's going on right now. Talk to your dad or another relative who would understand what you're going through.

I know this situation is tough! Hang in there and know that everyone at GL is always there for you!

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 3/13/2010 7:00:00 AM 23 COMMENTS

My little brother is SO annoying

Lately, my mom keeps yelling at me for the smallest things and when my bro does something worse, she just forgives him and gets all mad at me.

I'm so sorry to hear that your bro is dampening your mood everyday. It's completely normal to have sib-problems and it's even harder when things don't turn out in all fairness. Of course, you shouldn't worry about it too much because you can definitely do something.

Because your bro is younger, it will probably better to talk it out with mama. When she's in a good mood (and your brother isn't there to interrupt), ask her if you can have a talk with her. Tell her sincerely how you feel and what's been going on. Mention that this convo isn't meant to blame your bro or anything‚ it's more of a way for you to let out everything. Your mom cares for you and she'll listen to what you've got to say.

The next step is to not respond to whatever your bro is doing. If he's annoying you by calling you names, making you get in trouble on purpose, etc., just don't respond to it. Your brother might have the tendency to annoy you more and more because he's amused by how you react to it. If you brush it off, he won't find a good reason to bug you.

Another thing you should do? Vent it out. The more you get all that negative energy out of your system, the better and calmer you'll feel. Whether it's to another chica, your diary or your pillow, just let it all out. Tell yourself that you can't let your bro get to.

Another thing to think about is...WHY is your bro annoying you like this? Maybe your mom got a new job and he feels like he's getting less attention lately. Try to set aside an hour or so a day, or maybe a block of time on the weekend, where you and your brother can hang. He's probably just lonely and since he loves ya, he wants to grab your attention any way you can (even if it's in a negative way!). So, sit down and watch a period of his fave sports team play, or join him for a silly (and totally friendly!) fake sword fight every once in a while. It'll all pay off in the end .

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 3/6/2010 7:00:00 AM 47 COMMENTS

Growing apart from my cousin

I feel like my cousin hates me. He and I are only 17 days apart so we have always been close and almost inseparable until about last year.

I know he is a boy and I am a girl and our interests changed, but that does not mean we have to stop being best friends and stop looking out for each other, does it?

It also might be because this year, he started dating one of my best friends and did some stuff that I didn’t like. I don't feel OK about them dating. I talked about it with the both of them, but I didn't want them to break up because of me. So I'm not sure if that's the prob.

Yikes! With a tough (not to mention confusing!) bind you're in—caught between a friend AND a friend who's a fam member. Before you can fix any problems, you need to know just what it is that caused this rift in the first place. For all you know, it could be nothing at all! Maybe you two just drifted a bit.

The best way to get to the bottom of this is to stop guessing. Confront your cuz one-on-one or write him a note to ask why things have been kinda awkward. Try something like, "Hey! I really feel like we haven't hung out in a while and I really miss you!" (Or make mention of something fun the two of ya used to do together.) "Is everything all right with us?" Being up-front is the best way to solve this issue.

So many peeps underestimate the power of just saying (and actually, genuinely meaning) you’re sorry. If he says or acts like he’s upset about some of the stuff you said, give him a heartfelt "I'm sorry." See if you can work out a compromise in this whole dating-your-friend-deal. Does seeing the two of them all lovey-dovey kinda make you feel sick? Try to hang with them separately or in larger groups where they're less likely to be such a twosome.

In all relationships, whether you’re a couple or just buds, rough patches like this can be tough to get through. But sometimes, once you've gotten over a bump in the road, your friendship survives and is stronger than ever.

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 2/27/2010 7:00:00 AM 40 COMMENTS