Mom's reading my diary!

I keep a diary and my parents are divorced so I switch between houses every week. I have this really big suspicion that my mom reads it on the weeks that I'm not at her house. For example, when I learned a secret about my mom I wrote it in my diary. The next week she took me into her room and asked me if I heard or saw something in her room. She was acting like I knew her secret.

Hey girl, keeping a diary is a good way to vent and really express yourself. I’ve been keeping one since I was 13 and it definitely helps me get through some tough times. But other people reading your private thoughts? Not so cool.

You don’t know for sure if your mom is reading your diary, so you shouldn’t assume that she is. Instead of thinking she’s a snoop, it may be best to talk to her. Make sure you’re not confrontational and explain to your mother why your PRIVATE diary is important to you.

Try something along the lines of, “Hey Mom, my diary is really special to me and it would really make me uncomfortable if you read it. If you have a question about something, I would appreciate if you ask me about it first.”

Your mom will respect your honesty and she’ll be impressed by how maturely you've handled the situation. And if she were reading your diary behind your back, chances are she’ll think twice before opening it now. Keep the lines of communication open and you’ll have a great relationship. Good luck, hon, you can do it!

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/17/2009 7:00:00 AM 87 COMMENTS

What's up with my dad's behavior?

Every time my mom leaves the house, my dad has video conferences with another woman. He always says how comfortable he feels around her and how much he loves her. I JUST CAN'T STAND IT!

I miss how my mom and my dad loved each other. He doesn't even wear his wedding ring anymore because he says it's "too small.”

I’m so sorry that you have to go through this really tough situation. Don’t let this bring you down, 'case it's totally not your fault.

First of all, you should really write an honest, open letter to your dad. Let him know that what he's doing is hurting you. Tell him what you’re going through so he can realize that his actions just don’t affect him. But leave the judging or anger out. Simply let him reflect on how his behavior is affecting you.

Next, confront your mom. It might not be your place to mention what your dad is doing because that’s something your 'rents have to work out. However, tell your mama that you think she should talk to your pops.

Lastly, don’t lose your hope. If you're feeling sad, call your BFF and vent it out or write everything you're feeling in a journal. Whether or not you can take control of the situation, we don’t know. What you do know is that both of your parents will love you regardless of what happens. Your dad’s behavior isn’t something you should overlook, but I can promise you that there is a silver lining for everything and you WILL get through this.

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/10/2009 7:00:00 AM 65 COMMENTS

I feel like I'm the mom

Lately, my mom has been making me babysit my brothers after school and on school vacation days because she works a full time job and is a single parent. I never get to do anything with my friends on vacation. I was even unable to join the track team because I have to watch my brothers. I feel like I am a parent because I’m watching them more than my mom is. 

Whenever I try to talk to my mom about it she says I’m being ungrateful and that I don't do anything around the house to help out. She has no idea how much I appreciate what she does but I just feel like I need to spend some time with my friends, too. I don't know how I can spend more social time with my friends while I’m depended on to watch my brothers. It hurts that my mom thinks I don't do anything to help her out.

This is a pretty tough sitch. Props to you for trying to be so responsible! It sounds like your mom is prob under a lot of stress working all the time and trying to provide for you and your bros. So, try to be understanding of that.

That said, I think it's super important for you to get in some time socializing with your friends. Sit your mom down again and try to talk her again. Make sure it’s just the two of you in a quiet place so you can completely focus. Suggest making a sched that works for both you and her. Do it week-by-week or month-by-month. It will show her you want to help out but also that you need a little more time for you. Leave a day on the weekend or a few days during a school break free for you. Write down a few chores you can do while you watch your bros that you can do for each day of the week. At least this way, you'll be helping out but giving yourself some time to chill out and be a kid!

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/3/2009 7:00:00 AM 49 COMMENTS

Bugged by mom's strict rules

My mom always has these really overprotective rules for me. I'm not allowed to date before I'm 16 and I can't walk around the mall JUST with my friends!

I've told her many times that I'm more responsible than she's giving me credit for, but she doesn't believe me.

Hey hon, allow me to introduce you to the beauty of compromise. You and your mom are never going to agree on every single little thing. Believe me, I'm 21 and my mom and I still don't see eye-to-eye on everything. Your mom, like my mom, only wants what's best for you even though it may seem at times like she's being overprotective. But, after all, she's your mama! Her JOB is to protect you.

But sometimes our mothers may overdo it, and this is when compromise comes in to play. Wanna walk around the mall? Have your friends over to your house one weekend so your mama can get to know them better. This will help her trust you and your friends.

And you're not allowed to date until you turn 16? What if you went out on a group date? Your mom may be more willing to let you go out with your crush with a group of your girlfriends she already knows. Just remember not to miss your curfew.

When your mother sees how responsible and trustworthy you are, she'll be more likely to bend the rules every once in a while. But you have to earn (and keep!) her trust by following the rules at all times. In time, your madre will begin to see how grown-up you're getting. But you'll always be her baby. And, sometimes, that's not so bad. Best of luck, girly!

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 9/26/2009 7:00:00 AM 63 COMMENTS