My BFFs act like twins...and they leave ME out!

My two best friends didn't know each other last year. They became besties at the beginning of the school year. They dress the exact same and are into the exact same everything! 

They have been leaving me out on everything they do because I'm the complete opposite of them. How do I make them realize they’re leaving me out without making them mad?

Sorry you’re in this complicated sitch. Problems with friends, especially best friends are never fun to deal with.

I know it’s not easy, but you gotta be honest and confront your chicas. Let them know that it’s not fair to leave you out, especially if you were the one who introduced them to each other. There’s nothing wrong with all three of you hanging out together. If they’re your true friends, they’ll understand. Write it in a note or confront them separately, so they don't feel like you're cornering them. Let them know that you wanna hang and do stuff that combines everyone's interests, or that you're willing to compromise and try some of the stuff they're into, if they'll give yours a go, too.

In a way, it's great that you’re the complete opposite of you're two besties! Being unique allows you to bring all sorts of different views and perspectives into the friendship. When I was in high school, I hung out with the same three gals—we called ourselves the fantastic four. Yep, we made tees and everything! But most importantly, every one of us was completely different from the other. Each person brought new ideas and activities to the table. Matter of fact, we’re all still great friends!

On the other hand, you gotta be be prepped in case your gals don’t understand where you’re comin' from. As we said before, if they’re your true friends, they’ll understand and start to include you again. Friends come and go sometimes, so you gotta look for gals that’ll love you for who you are. Be you. If they can't accept ya, join new activities and find peeps who share and respect your interests.

FRIENDS GOT YOU FRANTIC? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk.

BY CAITLIN R. ON 3/17/2010 7:00:00 AM 39 COMMENTS

My BFF worships my sister

My BFF is completely OBSESSED with my sister! She stalked my sister so much on Facebook that my sister had to block her, and my pal is always telling me her opinion on my sister’s social life and friends. It's getting annoying and weird, plus I want my friend back!


I’m so sorry to hear about your bestie, how awkward! I’m sure your sister is cool but hey, like you said, you want your friend back. Have a serious pow-wow with your pal and tell her to take it down a notch.

Try finding out what your friend's deal is. Why does she worship your sis? Get her one-on-one to find out the scoop on this situation. Something straightforward, but not too harsh like, "Hey, I know you really respect my sis, why is that?" might be enough to get her talking. Your friend probably feels left out, since she might not have a sis or role model of her own to look up to for advice on hair, clothes, makeup and boys. Feel her out and find out her reasons behind the obsession.

Your pal can totally find other peeps to look up to. Some prime examples? Celebs that have a great rep—like Tay Swift—can help her out. Encourage her to start keeping tabs (cough, cough as in NOT seriously stalking) on a celeb she likes by checking entertainment blogs, watching their music videos and tuning in to their TV appearances. She'll get fashion and makeup advice from the pros. Who knows? Maybe she'll snag a whole new look that'll make her confident enough to stop mooching off everyone else's.

Everyone's unique—it's just that some of us have more trouble finding out what makes us special. Your friend probably "stalks" your sister because she feels like she isn't cool. But, think about it. WHY are you pals with this girl in the first place? Does she give great advice? Is she an awesome listener? Is she an amazing artist? Compliment her the next time she does something amazing. "OMG! Your self-portrait rocks! Why don't you join the art club?" could do the trick. You're showing her that she's talented, and you're encouraging her to get involved in new stuff.

Make sure you and your bestie have a mutual understanding of the sitch. If she STILL seems obsessed with your sis, have you sister sit her down for a talk, or have her write an e-mail about how uncomfy this makes her feel. Most important: Tell your pal that you love and respect her as a friend and don't want to lose her. Good luck!

FRIENDS GOT YOU FRANTIC? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk.

BY CAITLIN R. ON 3/10/2010 7:00:00 AM 129 COMMENTS

Overshadowed by a singin' friend

BY CAITLIN R. ON 3/3/2010 7:00:00 AM 128 COMMENTS

My friend smells...BAD!

I don't think my friend showers. She smells awful! I don’t know how to tell her, but her B.O. is REALLY terrible! I feel bad, but I mean her brothers and parents all smell good and stuff, so I don’t understand what she is doing.

She is nice and all, but I am her only friend because of her odor. How should I approach the situation?

Sorry to hear about the stinky sitch! If your friend’s poor hygiene has become that big of a prob, it’s time to help her smell just as sweet as she acts.

Before you say anything, try hinting about this smelly sitch to your chica…subtly, of course! Try mentioning the deodorant, shampoo or body wash you use and ask what her faves are. If she says that she doesn’t use deodorant or doesn’t know what kind of shower stuff she has, chat about how much you LOVE this one scent that she’s just GOT to try. Hey, even bring in a travel or sample size soap for her to have and follow up to see what she thinks. Another idea? Throw a spa sleepover and put some sweet-scented goodies in a take-home bag or sample some diff scents at the party itself.

Unfortunately, hinting can sometimes mean people won’t hear ya. If your gal isn't getting it, it's time to chat. Now, make sure you don’t come across as bossy, rude or mean. (Don't flat out tell her she stinks!) When you’re alone, gently let her know what’s on your mind. Make sure she understands that you don’t mean to be hurtful, and you’re just trying to look out for her. You don’t want people judging her or talking about her behind her back!

While you’re chatting, point out all her good qualities, too. Start off the convo with stuff like, "You're such a great friend and I really appreciate how you're always there for me, but lately I've gotten a little concerned about a health issue..." then dive into the whole stinky sitch as politely as possible. Explain that she’s a totally great gal and awesome friend, and you don’t want other people’s way wrong judgments to keep them from seeing her beautiful self. If you’re gentle, phrase things right and make sure it’s totally clear that you only mean well, I’m sure this talk will go smoothly. If she still doesn't listen? Tell a health teacher, guidance counselor or school nurse what's up.

FRIENDS GOT YOU FRANTIC? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk.

BY CAITLIN R. ON 2/24/2010 7:00:00 AM 54 COMMENTS