Friends
O.K. I follow my friends everywhere. I pretty much agree with them, besides that I don't talk a whole lot compared to other people in my class. I wish I could have my own opinions. I wish that I could talk to people without being scared and stuff because I usually never talk at school or when I’m around my friends.
- polka-dot-love
Hey girl, I know that its really hard to open up to people, especially when you feel like you don’t really have anything to say or whatever you DO want to say is stupid. Its also difficult if your buds are chatty Cathy. My advice is simple…SPEAK UP!! You aren’t going to get the things you want in life if you aren’t willing to open your mouth. You don’t need to become a motormouth, but try to contribute at least one thing when you’re friends are chatting. Make it a priority to raise your hand twice in a school day to contribute something in class. If you force yourself to do it, you will become better at it. Trust me. Besides, people with their own opinions are the people who are going to be successful in life. If you don’t show what’s going on in that smart brain of yours, how is anyone going to take you seriously?
Also remember that a lot of people suffer some sort of stage fright, they just do a great job of hiding it. If public speaking isn’t for you, that’s fine, but it’s a required capability in most corporate jobs. If it helps any, make a mental list of things you have found interesting that day or things you are interested in in general, these little tidbits come in handy when engaging in conversations.
- xoxo JANA
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BY ANDREA T. ON 5/7/2008 12:29:00 PM 90 COMMENTS
My best friend always wants to get together with me every other day. The thing is I want my space sometimes and be alone. When she asks me to come over I lie and say, “Oh, I'm going to my grandparent’s house, maybe another time.” Or something like, ”Oh, I have tons of homework.” I really hate to lie! So how do I tell the truth without hurting her feelings?
-MeGirl
You have to stop lying girl, that’s such a betrayal to your friend, especially your best friend. I know you don’t want to hurt her feelings, but it will hurt more if you get caught in the lie. Trust is very, very difficult to get back.
Instead of concocting an elaborate story about why you can’t be with her every second of every day, why don’t you just start saying no. Obviously say it in a polite way, something along the lines of “I love you girl, and you’re my best friend, but I kind of need some independent time to get some things done.” She will understand. Everyone needs a moment to breathe and be free of obligations and responsibilities.
If her feelings seem hurt, reassure her that you aren’t mad and you just need a little me time. Make sure that you get together with your bud every week or so, that way you two can stay connected. You don’t want to focus so much on yourself that you lose sight of all the people who are important to you.
-Jana
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BY JIAE K. ON 4/30/2008 12:00:00 AM 231 COMMENTS
My BFF is mad at me! My buddy icon is a pic that I Photoshopped. It's really cool and I love it. My crush even complimented it twice. So one day I was chatting w/ her and she asked me to change the pic b/c she thinks she looks bad. I don't want to b/c she looks fine. When I refused, she started yelling at me and swearing. She’s worried people are going to start gossiping and hate her b/c she looks bad in the pic. I told her that wouldn't happen and to stop worrying about what others think. Then! She blocked me! She won’t talk to me till I delete the pic for good. I'm just so sick of trying to please everyone all the time for small things like this. How can I get her to talk to me? I said hi to her yesterday but she slammed her locker shut, stuck her nose in the air and walked away.
-TheGreatEscape
Hey girl,
This reminds me of a similar situation I had with my childhood BFF when I was your age. I sent a picture of us to a crush of mine because (to be totally honest) I looked really good in it. But she didn’t like how she looked and got really upset with me for sending it. She held a grudge for a little while, but you know what? She got over it eventually…that is, until she got mad at me for other petty things.
I definitely understand that you are frustrated because you know she wouldn’t show you the same courtesy – but don’t stoop down to her level. If there’s any way you can compromise, try to. Maybe you can crop her out of the picture. Or find a new picture you like just as much. If you are considerate enough to try to compromise, than you’re a great friend and she’s lucky to have you. But, if she’s willing to throw your friendship away over something as petty as a not-so-flattering picture, maybe she’s not the friend you thought she was – and, as with my friend, it’ll probably end up being a pattern with her.
Try to apologize to her and give her some time to get over it. But while you should try to be a good friend, be careful that she doesn’t walk all over you. Eventually you may have to put your foot down and tell her she needs to respect your feelings as well.
<3 Jessie M.
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BY JIAE K. ON 4/23/2008 12:00:00 AM 139 COMMENTS
I had these 2 friends and we’re not friends anymore. Those “friends” and I both have this friend named Patrice. Well I guess she got in a fight with them because lately she’s been hanging out with me lately. But now, she’s friends with them again and whenever she’s with them they turn their back on me and are kind of rude. I don’t care, but she’s starting to be rude to me too. She still hangs out w/ me but when she’s with them, she’ll turn around and ignore me. What do I do?
-Pretty Beach Gal
Hey Girlie,
The biggest issue here is that you are making her a priority when she is thinking of you as a second option. She shouldn’t be hanging out with you just because her friends are mad at her. She should be choosing to hang out with you over these other girls. Especially because you’ve always been there for her when she needed you.
Confront her and ask her why when the other girls are around she gives you the cold shoulder. If you are open about how her behavior makes you feel, she can have the chance to correct it. She may not even realize what she is doing. She may be picking up on the cues from the rest of the group and following their lead. But even if that’s the case, she should stick up for you or introduce you to the group so you aren’t left out.
If she is cautious to invite you into her posse, take it upon yourself to introduce yourself or talk to them. There is no reason why you can’t make friends with them yourself.
Good Luck!
Jana
BY JIAE K. ON 4/16/2008 12:00:00 AM 191 COMMENTS