Sharing is Caring!

My best friend is great, but she has one little flaw. She doesn't share. She has admitted to me that she doesn't really like to, and I get it. But sometimes it really bugs me.

I try to openly share food at lunch, pencils, or other things with her so that maybe if she won't give me anything I can say, "Well I gave you this...." But she still doesn't share. I don't know what to do!

That’s a total bummer about your friend, but awesome that you want to help her change her ways for the better. Hopefully with a little encouragement she’ll do a total 180 and you’ll be sharing clothes, pencils and food with her in no time.

It sounds like she needs a little lesson in kindness and generosity. Be empathetic and allow her to borrow things that are important and meaningful to you. Emphasize just how much you value these belongings, but how you trust her enough to enjoy and return them in the same condition that you gave them to her.

People have a tendency to be selfish unless there is something in it for them. You could also try to show her some tough love. Your friend might not like to share, but she might ask to borrow things from you. If she keeps up her unsharing ways, don't let her take your stuff. Tell her that you trust her with your belongings, but sharing is a mutual thing and if she wants to borrow from you then she should be willing to share, too.

FRIENDS GOT YOU FRANTIC? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk.

BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/21/2009 7:00:00 AM 97 COMMENTS

Newcomer in our clique

My two best friends have been hanging out with a girl who I don’t really want to be around. She talks about people (sometimes our other friends) behind their backs.

Plus, whenever we hang out, all four of us, they go off on their own without me. It's like she hogs them. Should I confront her? Stay away from her? I’ve tried ignoring her, and I’m afraid that if I get close to her and we get in a fight that she’ll end up talking about me. What should I do?

Hey babe, adding a new girl to a close group of friends can be really frustrating and stressful but trust me, it happens to all of us at some point and it usually isn't as big a deal as we make it seem.

The important thing to remember is that these other girls are your BFFs. They obviously like you for a reason and they're not going to ditch you the second a new chica comes along. Don't worry about what COULD happen. Just figure out how to handle what's going on right now.

What to do about the newbie? Figure out if she's truly an evil friend-stealer who you should stay away from, or someone who mighta gave you the wrong first impression. Were you being too judgmental because you were intimidated by her and the new relationships she made with your pals? It's normal to feel this way, and we all do it without even realizing it. Try to start over with her and take a fresh approach. Does she have any redeeming qualities? Just think, this could be the start of a great friendship.

Gave the new girl a shot and she still seems sketchy? Talk to your friends about what she's saying and doing. News flash: talking about people and leaving others out is so not cool. So, it's better to get these things off your chest before you ruin friendships with your besties, too.

I'm sure you can work it out, girl. Just give her another chance. If that doesn't work I'm sure you can find a compromise between you and your best chicas.

FRIENDS GOT YOU FRANTIC? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk.

BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/14/2009 7:00:00 AM 129 COMMENTS

My BFF's dad is driving me crazy

My BFF’s dad drives me INSANE! Her parents are divorced and she spends weekends with her father. Weekends are the only time my bestie and I can hang out.

Overcoming divorce is very difficult. Her pops most likely feels the need to be overprotective of his daughter because she’s his pride and joy, and he doesn’t get to spend much time with her.

For right now, I wouldn't approach either your BFF or her dad about the situation because it could seriously effect your friendship. It’s going to be hard, but you need to try to just accept how her dad the way he is. If you really feel like her father is having a negative impact on her, talk it out with a trusted adult and see what they suggest you do.

Stay supportive of her and your friendship and everything will work itself out. Good luck!

FRIENDS GOT YOU FRANTIC? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk.

BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/7/2009 7:00:00 AM 90 COMMENTS

I'm bi, but all my friends are anti-gay

All of my friends are really anti-gay. I'm not. This may come from the fact that I'm bisexual (I haven't told my friends about this yet) or because I simply respect that lifestyle, but whatever the reason, I am as pro-gay as you can be.

Recently, my best guy friend told me he was gay. I totally support him, but now my friends are flinging questions at me asking why I'm hanging out with him so much. If I tell them we're just friends, they won't believe me. But I'm worried that if I tell the truth (we go to support groups together and we're really close because of our sexualities) they'll disown me. I love my friends with all my heart, but how can I respect their beliefs without making them disown me?

I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now with the emotions of having to keep your feelings bottled up inside, and scared to be open and honest with your BFFs. It's no fun pretending to be someone you're not. Sounds like you're totally afraid of how your besties will react.


It's not healthy keeping such strong emotions bottled up inside. If you're scared to speak the words out loud, why not write each of your besties an individual note or card telling them how much you value them as a pal. Then, say that you hope they'll accept you for who you really are. Also, ask the peeps in your support group for advice on how to come out. I'm sure that lots of them had difficulty saying it to their friends and fam, and would have tons of suggestions for how to deal with these issues. It will be really helpful to hear how people who are going through the same issues as you dealt with it. They can hopefully help ease your worries about your friends, and make you realize that their reactions will not be as bad as you think they will be.



One of my best friends came out last year and it didn't change one thing about our friendship. He's still the exact same person. Not one of our friends looked at him differently. In fact, everyone was just happy he was finally being open and honest with himself and all of his loved ones. If these people are really your true friends, and they love and respect you as much as you do them, then when you tell them that you are bisexual it shouldn't change anything about your friendship! If it does, it's sad to say but you may not even want to waste your time hangin' out with these girlies anyway.



If anyone treats you any differently just because of your sexuality, they’re immature and not worth your time. You are an amazing girl, and you shouldn't have to bottle up your feelings and try to be someone you're not. Be open and honest with your friends and yourself. You deserve to be happy. Be who you are, and I promise people will respect you for it!

FRIENDS GOT YOU FRANTIC? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk.

BY CAITLIN R. ON 9/30/2009 7:00:00 AM 103 COMMENTS