School
I’m only in seventh grade and I’m already looking at colleges. I’m already stressed about my grades. My dad told me that if I get great grades, I'll be able to get into a great school.
Is it normal to be thinking about my future at such a young age?
Hey chica,
Whoa! Hold your horses and take a deep breath! First off, there’s nothing wrong with planning about the future! Kudos to you for that. But there’s no reason you should stress about it (um, especially this early on).
Have fun!
You're only in seventh grade, girl! There’s a lot, and I mean A LOT, of time to get prepared for college in high school. And you know what? That means you’ve got extra time to enjoy other things before you really got to think about all those college apps and grades. If there’s something you like to do (dancing, art, singing?) try picking that up and put all of your energy into that. You’ll find yourself feeling less stressed and having more fun!
...AND work hard!
Next, there’s no need to be too worried because, well, you’re on the right track! Since you already have the ambition to get good grades and look out for your future, I'm SURE you will excel when the times comes around. And since you're already into the academic groove, there’s no way it won’t work out to your advantage. Your hard work now will prepare you for high school and eventually college, but just keep up the good work without wearing yourself out about it.
Most important...
Lastly, (before you run off to enjoy all that middle school offers!) make sure that you’re enjoying every minute that you spend with anyone, wherever you are! Yeah, it's great to look ahead but don't forget to look into the NOW! Check up on yourself. Say, “How am I feeling today? Do I like what I'm doing?” Life isn’t gonna be all fun and games, but you always want to make sure that you aren’t pressuring yourself too much. Everyone deserves time to let loose…and that means you!
-Jean L.
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 3/18/2010 7:00:00 AM 63 COMMENTS
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Before I have tests or quizzes I get really nervous, even if I studied a lot. I get so nervous that sometimes it affects my performance on the test/quiz.
How can I calm down and ease my nerves?
Hey girl,
As distracting as they can be, nerves before tests are totally normal. But, that doesn’t mean you should let ‘em get in your way of doing your best.
Study sesh
It sounds obvious, but the absolute best thing to do is study, study, study. (And I don’t mean just skimming your notes the night before.) When you know the material inside and out, you’ll feel totally prepped, not to mention less nervous. Here are a few tips:
~Start early! Sure, you may be able to cram, but in the long run, you don’t end up really learning the material. Start reviewing a little bit (say, 30 minutes to an hour) each night the week before your test. Whatever you do, don't pull an all-nighter or stay up extra late before the big day. Sleep deprivation means a poor performance!
~Take a break: If you find yourself half asleep, go take a li’l break to wake up. If you’re super-exhausted, just go to bed. It’s a lot easier to focus once you’ve caught some zzz's. Trust me, forcing yourself to study when you’re brain dead is so not productive. So, hit the hay for a 20 minute cat nap or set your alarm a little early so you can review while you eat a nutritious breakfast.
~Test yourself: Reading through notes is a must, but make sure you remember the material by testing yourself. Make flashcards or cover up your notes and ask yourself Qs about the topic. Or, create a test and then hide your books and time yourself as you take it. Grade yourself when you're done. No cheating!
~Have study buddies: I didn’t realize this until late in high school, but study groups can be WAY helpful. Work with classmates who will answer some of your Qs but also challenge you with a few of their own. Bonus? You can play fun games like Jeopardy to test your knowledge. Oh, and it's the perf excuse to invite a cute guy from class over, too.
Keep your cool
While you’re waiting for Teach to hand out the tests, try thinking about something happy or comforting like the amazing concert you’re seeing this weekend or those homemade cookies mom packed in your lunch. Yum!
When the test is on your desk, close your eyes for a sec and take a few deep breaths. Relax, it’s gonna be OK. You’ve done a great job studying, so there’s no reason to sweat it! And don’t forget to keep things in perspective: In your whole life, one tricky test is no biggie. If you ever make a mistake, just reflect and build on it.
Believe in yourself and just do the best you can. I know you’ll do great!
Go get ‘em, girl!
~Kristen Y. <3
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 3/11/2010 7:00:00 AM 39 COMMENTS
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I think my male history teacher likes me. He's not married and he's like 40. He acts all weird around me and I'm starting to get uncomfortable.
Some person said he "dropped" his pen in front of a girl and tried to look up her skirt. I go to a private school, so all of the girls have to wear skirts. Help!
Hey girl, I’m sorry to hear about your teacher. That is def way creepy, but here’s the thing: You don’t have to sit in the sidelines. Since you’re getting massively strange signals from this dude, time to decode this debacle, stat. This teacher clearly is crossing the line, and it’s getting in the way of you and other students' learning experiences.
Asses the sitch
OK, so your teacher acts a little awk around you? Ask and see if it's happening to other girls, too. Do you know the chica who the pen incident happened to? Would she ever lie or exaggerate? Do some investigation. And think about what he does when he seems weird: Did he put a smiley on your paper once or say he loved your handwriting? He might just think you're a great student. But if he's complimenting your clothes, commenting on your body or seems flirty? Then you've got a problem on your hands.
Not a creeper?
If you answered yes to the first set of questions, your teacher might just think you're a great student, but he has an odd way of showing it. Put a li'l distance between yourself and Teach and see if you don't feel better. Still get a weird vibe, or feel like his comments were inappropriate in the first place? Time to take some serious action.
Speak up
This sounds like it might be sexual harassment, hon. And please don't blame yourself—you've done nothing wrong and you in no way have invited this, nor do you deserve it. The first thing you need to do is talk to your school’s guidance counselor. Tell her this prof is making you feel uncomfortable. Describe what he’s been doing—and specifically mention stuff like his “pen” incident. These are red flags to school administrators. If you and other girls come forward, an authority will be able to set the sitch straight, ASAP.
Good luck!
Infinite xoxo’s,
Alyssa B.
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 3/4/2010 7:00:00 AM 109 COMMENTS
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There's this girl who goes to my school who is obsessed with volleyball. This year there are A and B teams. The A team has the better girls and she's one of them. She acts like it's a big deal and she brags about it.
She also thinks all of the girls on the B teams (that would be me!) are losers.
Hey lady,
Let’s get one thing out of the way—just because you are on the B team, doesn't mean you're a loser. It sounds like this sistah has some serious insecurity issues that's she's trying to cover up with her volleyball skills. Maybe her grades aren’t that great, so she picks on everyone else. Or, her mom and dad just got divorced. Whatever her issues are, she doesn’t have the right to make fun of you or anyone else.
B true to yourself
You shouldn’t be ashamed to be on the B team. There are probably a lot of girls who tried out and didn’t even make it as far as you did, so props to you. And you definitely shouldn’t let someone else make you feel like crap for not being on the first squad. The most important thing is that you're having fun, doing a sport that you love and trying your best!
A-ce this one
Next time this girl gives you a hard time, you could politely tell her, “Hey, I really respect you and the rest of the A ladies, but the B girls are a great and talented group, too.” When you stand up for yourself and act super-confident, she'll probably just be shocked into silence. Or you could try flattery and friendship to soften her up. Ask her to help you with your serve and she’ll see you take the sport seriously, too.
You go, girl!
Of course, you shouldn’t expect her to change overnight. More than likely, her problems have nothing to do with you—so don’t take it personally. Most schools have varsity and junior varsity teams. While there is always room for improvement, you should be proud of yourself and your skills. No one—not even this girl—can take that away from you. Oh, and if he teasing goes too far (say she really starts to belittle lotsa ladies on your B-side), take it to Coach. This sistah's got game, but she's seriously slacking in sportsmanship.
Lots of love,
L’Oreal
GOT SCHOOLROOM STRESS? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!
BY CAITLIN R. ON 2/25/2010 7:00:00 AM 42 COMMENTS
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