I don't wanna grow up!

I am 13 and still want to be a kid. I don't wear Hollister clothes like my friends, and sometimes I feel like I don't belong in my grade. I don't want to grow up and I haven't told anyone this.  

How can I accept getting older but still feel young and happy?

It seems like you’re caught in a limbo between growing up and wanting to stay young. Getting older is a natural part of life that everyone goes through. Every once in a while, every girl feels like she doesn’t belong. Yeah, it's confusing, but the way you feel is totally normal.

If happiness means getting a large ice cream sundae after school, go for it. If you’ve always loved playing soccer, then try out for the team. You can still laugh at silly jokes and have fun at the playground. But growing up means taking on new responsibilities, such as chores at home and watching younger siblings. Do something fun to spice up the new things you're in charge of—blast silly songs while you do the dishes or have a cooking contest while you babysit your little brothers. It's only "work" if you make it feel that way.

Yeah, some stuff about growing up can be kinda wacky and weird, but think of all the cool stuff you have coming up. You might be choosing a foreign language this year, so think about how much fun it'll be to learn French and travel to Paris one day. Hey, maybe you still heart playing with dolls, which is totally fine. But have you ever thought about designing your own clothes for them? Oh, and think of all the added bonuses you'll get from being mature—like a later curfew or hanging out with your crew at the mall without your mom.

There’s no rule saying you have to wear Hollister or act just like your friends. Being different is a good thing. Don't be afraid to wear, do and say what ya want. You’ll feel more comfortable in your own style, which will also help you feel more confident. Everyone matures at different rates, so you shouldn’t be in a rush to grow up. Enjoy being young while you can and live life to the fullest every day!

L’Oreal

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 3/15/2010 7:00:00 AM 69 COMMENTS

Choosing my OWN path

I feel like I've been living my life doing what other people want and expect me to do, instead of what I want. I'm always trying to live up to other people's expectations, mainly what my parents want.

But, what if I don't care about having straight A's and going to college to get a good job, because I know money doesn't buy happiness? What if I don't want to ever have kids? What if I want to do something stupid and dangerous, just for the thrill of it?

I feel more trapped every day and I'm terrified I'll never get to live my life the way I want to.

Everyone living under their 'rents' roof wants to be their own person. Trust me—I get you completely. The part that's hardest to remember is your mom, dad and all the adults who serve as your mentors and teachers, just want the best for you!

The thing you gotta do first is ask yourself: What do YOU want to do with your life? When other people are trying to tell you what to do, it can be hard to sort your own thoughts out. Though it might not be what you want to hear, mom and pops are trying to help you the best they can. Have a talk with them about what you're  thinking about trying. Or try to make a plan for yourself.

Like we said before, find something you love to do. You can make a career out of it no matter how crazy it can be! When I was in high school I didn't love typical subjects, like math or English. I just wanted to go to college and live my own life more than anything. But when I talked to a bunch of my teachers and girl friends, they all helped me realize that my true passion was art. I love art because it's an escape from everything; you can express yourself anyway you want to. I immediately got motivated to do well so I could get into a great art school.

Definitely try to test different things out and keep your options open. Who knows? Maybe you'll be in a band, take awesome pictures, discover the cure for a serious disease and hey, maybe you WILL be the world's great mom on top of it all. Give different things a whirl. You could learn to love a certain subject you had no idea about before. Oh, and um, just don't get wild in a bad way. There's a big diff between going on a million roller coasters for a thrill and doing something seriously bad for ya, like drugs or alcohol.

Yeah, it stinks right 'cause you feel like all these adults have opinions about how YOUR life SHOULD be. But someday you'll be an adult, too—one who makes difficult decisions like how to pay the bills, how to run a company or how to give kids of your own the best life they deserve. For right now, enjoy where you're at and love the fact that, yes, you DO have the freedom to experiment and make mistakes before you're old. Stay confident, work hard and you'll shine for sure!

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 3/8/2010 7:00:00 AM 50 COMMENTS

I think I'm addicted to sweets

I am really upset with myself. My parents are always eating healthy and try to provide the best food for us, but I have an addiction. I am obsessed with sweets.

I've tried eating fruit, chocolate-covered fruits, low-fat and sugar-free sweets, but nothing seems to work. I am also as skinny as a rail. Everyone says I have nothing to worry about, but I'm scared. I can wipe out $20 just on snacks in a week to two weeks. Can you help me stop?

I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who wasn’t a fan of sweets, especially chocolate. That said, it's important to remember that moderation is the key to being healthy. You just need to eat healthier and cut back on your sweets intake. Once you get into that habit, it will be much easier for you to save money and curb your addiction.

If you don’t have the green to buy junk food, you can’t buy sweets to begin with. Open up a savings account either at a bank or in a piggy bank that you can't open unless you crack. Save up for something special—like an iPod, camera or new phone. If you want to keep some extra moolah around the house, give it to mom or dad so they can dole it out ONLY when it's necessary. That way it’s not in your wallet and it’s out of sight when you pass that vending machine at 3 p.m.

It’s important to listen to your body. Don't deny yourself the occasional treat—just switch it up for healthier, better-for-you options. Love chocolate? Go for a slab of antioxidant-loaded dark instead of milk. Just can't quit your after-school Oreo addiction? Look for 100 Calorie Packs with similar stuff. And it's totally fine to dig into a bit of the REAL stuff two or three times a week—so long as you're not noshing on it (and A LOT of it) every day.

Another way to fix your sweets obsession is portion control. Instead of eating a whole bar of chocolate at one time, break it into pieces and eat once sliver every once in a while. Or, try smaller versions of stuff you really love—have a few Reese's pieces instead of a king-sized serving, munch on just one Hershey's Kiss if you're craving milky chocolate or ask your BFF to go halfsies with you on the caf's mouthwatering chocolate chip cookies.

We're so happy to hear you're concerned about your health and well-being. Sure, you're super-skinny, but it's important to eat healthy, well-balanced meals with fruits and veggies to keep you fit 'n' fabulous. Remember, your bod is beautiful, and it's your job to keep it that way. Plus, diabetes is on the rise, and too much sugar could lead to probs later on in life. Just relax, listen to what your body wants and enjoy everything in moderation. Concerned that you're overeating or feel like you're sugar-watching has turned into an obsession? Please talk to a trusted adult or guidance counselor ASAP before this turns into an eating disorder.

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 3/1/2010 7:00:00 AM 45 COMMENTS

My pal is punching me...

I am in seventh grade and I have this one "friend" who is always punching and hitting me. I think she is just kidding around but it hurts. 

Plus, we came from two different schools so I don't know too much about her. 

I'm always quiet and try to be as nice as possible, but did I do something wrong?

Thanks so much for sharing this with us! First off...the problem is NOT YOU—the problem is your so-called friend. You are really brave to speak up about this, because a lot of girls think that they DID do something wrong. Here's how to put a stop to this, stat.

I used to have a friend who would “kid” with another bud by calling her mean nicknames. She thought it was hilarious, but her friend definitely did not. It hurt her feelings to be poked fun at, but because she was getting attention, she wasn’t sure whether it was really a bad thing after all. Bottom line is that if you don’t like what a pal is doing to you, whether they are hitting you, or saying mean things, then they aren't so true-blue...and there's NOTHING that you did wrong. A bully usually bullies 'cause they have low-self esteem and need to put others down to make themselves seem cooler.

It’s never a bad idea to start reaching out to other pals or acquaintances who treat you well and are fun to be around. Maybe you haven’t been hanging out with a few friends lately who you really liked spending time with last semester. Let them know that you miss them. If your abusive buddy asks what's up, either ignore her or just tell her you have a lot of fun with your other peeps.

If your “friend” won’t stop punching and hitting you, it's a good idea to say something to a trusted adult. Chances are that she’s doing this to others, too. If you feel uncomfortable telling her to stop directly, go to your favorite teacher or guidance counselor and tell them what’s going on. They’ll know the next best steps to take—and trust me, you won’t be blamed for your friend’s behavior (it's not your fault AT ALL!).

If anything, they will commend you for your strength. You are a strong chica, and I’m proud of you!

BY CAITLIN R. ON 2/22/2010 7:00:00 AM 53 COMMENTS