Help! I pull my hair out

I pull my hair out! Currently, I have no eyelashes or eyebrows (my main areas). I've tried therapy and quitting but my nails suffered from me trying to replace my habit. I'm not stressed.

This has been a habit since I've been a little kid. Please help! This is really starting to depress me.

Hey girl, I'm so sorry to hear about your prob. Rest assured though, girlie, you're not the only one who deals with that prob. Trichotillomania, or obsessive pulling out of hair, affects many teens. The good news? You can overcome it.

Trichotillomania is a disorder that has been linked to obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Many people don't even realize that they're doing it. What happens? You get a powerful urge to pull your hair, get the satisfaction from doing it, and then want to do it again. The brain conditions this behavior -- you're more likely to repeat it because it is reinforced by a positive outcome: the stress relief you feel when you give your tresses a tug.

You can break the cycle, but don't fight this battle alone. It's important to go to a doctor or therapist so they can coach you through it and break those bad habits. I know you've tried therapy before but you gotta realize that there are many strategies to solving this problem: it's not a one-fits-all thing at all. My suggestion is to try another therapist and see what he suggests.

Different things work for different people, but in the end it's all about resisting the urge and breaking the behavior. Some people need medication to help them. Others just need to hold something to keep themselves distracted. Always remember that you're not alone—so many people are going through it, too.

Outside of therapy try reducing the stress in your life. Be sure build a little 'me' time built into your day. Maybe it's a jog around the neighborhood. Maybe it's curling up with your fave book. Have those moments where you can breathe, relax, and escape from all the stressors in your life (sports, school, boys, 'rents, etc.).

You can make it through this, girl. All it takes is being strong (I know you are!) and reaching out for help. Be confident! It'll be hard, girlie, no lie, but with the support of your fam, friends, a strong therapist, and us at GL, you will do it and persevere! Good luck, trooper! I believe in you!

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 11/16/2009 7:00:00 AM 33 COMMENTS

Am I giving too much information?

I have a big problem. I think that I brag a lot to my friends but I'm not sure. I feel like because we're friends, I need to tell them some stuff that's going on in my life. For example, I am going to Mexico on Christmas break and I am really excited so I told my friends because I thought they have the right to know.

I also tell them stuff like a movie I watched over the weekend or even a family event. Is telling everything about me bragging? I can't be sure because my friends never tell me they thought I was bragging and they never complained about my sharing. I could ask them, but I think it would be too weird.

Also, I feel like my friends don't share enough. I feel like I don't know much about them. They always tell me stuff that happened one week ago. I feel like they don't trust me even though I am a really good listener. What should I do?

Hey babe, it sounds like you're over-thinking just being you right now. These girls are your friends for a reason, which means they like you for who you are. Don't be nervous or self-conscious about being yourself in front of them.

I'm sure this feeling that you're being too braggy didn't come out of nowhere. Did it stem from a certain glance from one of your friends to another or maybe a lack of response after you excitedly told them about your trip? If you've got a hunch that your friends are getting a little annoyed then, then yeah, you might be pushing their buttons.

Try to approach the story-telling a little different next time. Make it sound more like you're telling them something because you think it would interest them, bragging about something. How 'bout! "OMG! I'm sooo excited that I get to go to Mexico! Can't wait to lay out on the beach 'cause I'll finally get a break from classes. What are you guys doing for the holidays? I'll really miss you!" This way you're sharing a li'l bit about you're life but asking them about their own stuff, too. Remember the golden rule: always try to keep a convo balanced with back and forth banter. It should never be talk that's totally focused on Y-O-U, but ya shouldn't feel like you're interviewing the other person, either.

As for the girls telling you stuff about their lives, maybe encourage a little lunch table convo when you get the chance. Ask each of the girls what their families do for the holidays or ask what their favorite vacation spot is. Again, just try to relax and take it easy when you're with the girls. Be yourself. Having close friends shouldn't stress you out so if it gets weird or awkward, let them know. And if they can't share in your happiness, it may be time to seek some new pals.

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 11/9/2009 7:00:00 AM 31 COMMENTS

Diff Music Taste

BY CAITLIN R. ON 11/2/2009 7:00:00 AM 43 COMMENTS

I can't stop feeling guilty!

I have this problem with guilt. Since first grade, I randomly feel extremely guilty about something I did in the past, embarrassing moments, etc. It's awful because they just randomly pop up in my head and it takes me a while, from as little as hours to as much as days or even weeks, to stop feeling like such an awful person.

I don't know anyone else this happens to. The only consistency about my guilt issue is that it usually starts up when I'm bored. It's like I can't turn it off! I'm starting to think that this is my form of self-harm. Instead of cutting I'm punishing myself emotionally.

Ugh, guilt is an awful feeling and it can be so self-destructive. But, like with most things, the first step to feeling better is admitting that you have a problem. So, congratulations for taking that first step. Now we’re going to get rid of that guilt!

You said you start to feel guilty when you’re bored. This makes sense because your brain has nothing to think about except how awful you feel and that’s not cool. The easiest way to fix this prob? Do something constructive.

If you like writing, start penning a short story. If you’re into art, head outside and paint the sunset or colorful fall leaves. Or join an after-school club or sport. The key is to stay busy, busy, busy. The more you have to do, the less time you have to feel guilty.

Next, write down everything you feel guilty about on a piece of paper. Read the list, tear it up into little pieces and then throw it away. Now make a list of all of your great qualities, such as your sense of humor, killer math skills and crazy dance moves. You deserve to feel fabulous about yourself and your guilt is only bringing you down. When you start to feel guilty again, pull out this list and look at how wonderful you are. You go, girl!

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/26/2009 7:00:00 AM 58 COMMENTS