The Problem is Me!
I enjoy listening to metal and hard rock music such as Mushroomhead, Drowning Pool, Buckcherry, All That Remains, and such, but my mom and dad absolutely can't stand it! I feel like I'll get in trouble if I start playing the heavier songs on my docking system while they're home.
I want to listen to my own music, but I just don't feel comfortable doing it around my parents. How can I feel OK listening to the kind of music I like?
Hey li'l rocker, it can be way hard sometimes to enjoy your music when your 'rents move to the beat of a different drum. The thing to know about music is that everyone's taste is unique. You shouldn't feel guilty or uncomfortable if your parents don't share your taste in tunes.
Listen to what you like, with respect
That said, I know first-hand what it's like to hear the music of someone whose taste is sooo not the same. My sister would blare her screamo music every day after school while I'd try to do homework, and for a Beatles-lovin' chica like me, it was torture. I learned to tune it out, but my 'ents? Not so much. They demanded she wear earphones.
The best thing about earphones is that you can enjoy your fave soundtrack while everyone else around you can enjoy his or hers. And the
times you want to play your fave bands out loud? Just ask mom and pops if it's OK and keep the volume low. You never know: maybe mom and dad will end up liking one of your fave jams.
Tune into other tastes, too
They may be your parents, but don't be afraid to explore new music together. Your mom and dad lived through some of the best metal and hard rock—The Rolling Stones, Metallica, Def Leppard, you name it—and they might have some sweet picks. Even cooler? Ask mama and papa to bust out their old records for some insight into their tunes. If you end up liking some of their oldies you can bust 'em out on road trips. Sing along, anyone?
Know in the end, your style is your own. Your music taste is going to change a lot. Take my sis for example: her screamo days? Long gone. She's all folk now and shares her fave picks with my parents and even me. She's even influenced what I listen to! I'm indie-pop and some of her picks (Belle and Sebastian and Sondre Lerche!) are on the top of my playlist. When it comes to music, there are tons of hidden gems different people know. Share your fave hits with your 'rents and don't be afraid to take some of theirs too. You never know what you'll dig. And when you're not loving the same songs? Well, earphones and keeping the volume low works, too.
Infinite xoxo's,
Alyssa
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 11/2/2009 7:00:00 AM 37 COMMENTS
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I have this problem with guilt. Since first grade, I randomly feel extremely guilty about something I did in the past, embarrassing moments, etc. It's awful because they just randomly pop up in my head and it takes me a while, from as little as hours to as much as days or even weeks, to stop feeling like such an awful person.
I don't know anyone else this happens to. The only consistency about my guilt issue is that it usually starts up when I'm bored. It's like I can't turn it off! I'm starting to think that this is my form of self-harm. Instead of cutting I'm punishing myself emotionally.
Please help! I don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling so awful.
-Pleading Guilty
Ugh, guilt is an awful feeling and it can be so self-destructive. But, like with most things, the first step to feeling better is admitting that you have a problem. So, congratulations for taking that first step. Now we’re going to get rid of that guilt!
Bust that boredom!
You said you start to feel guilty when you’re bored. This makes sense because your brain has nothing to think about except how awful you feel and that’s not cool. The easiest way to fix this prob? Do something constructive.
If you like writing, start penning a short story. If you’re into art, head outside and paint the sunset or colorful fall leaves. Or join an after-school club or sport. The key is to stay busy, busy, busy. The more you have to do, the less time you have to feel guilty.
Get happy...not guilty!
Next, write down everything you feel guilty about on a piece of paper. Read the list, tear it up into little pieces and then throw it away. Now make a list of all of your great qualities, such as your sense of humor, killer math skills and crazy dance moves. You deserve to feel fabulous about yourself and your guilt is only bringing you down. When you start to feel guilty again, pull out this list and look at how wonderful you are. You go, girl!
Lots of love,
L’Oreal
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/26/2009 7:00:00 AM 55 COMMENTS
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I’ve been feeling blue for some reason and it’s torturing me. I have no idea why or what my problem is, but I’m just sad. I’ve cried over this unknown reason and have been really mellow in an unemotional way.
This problem has been around ever since the first day of seventh grade, but I didn’t notice it because it was small. Now it’s really getting to me and I don’t know what's causing it. Please help.
-Confuzzled
Hey babe,
I’m sorry to hear that you have been feeling so down. Although you might not think so, it is fairly common for people to go through small bouts of sadness for no reason at different times in their lives.
What is depression?
I wish I could tell you that things will perk up right away, but it sounds to me like you might be suffering from a bit of depression. Don’t panic, you can and will get out of this slump. Depression can be a heavy word, but once you start addressing your sadness and start working to feel like your old self again, you will be grateful that you understand and know how to combat the world of depression.
Depression has several triggers and causes. It can be brought on by a major life change, as well as a small change that might have gone unnoticed despite feelings of sorrow and a few added tears to everyday life. Your trigger might have been feeling nervous, anxious and scared about starting seventh grade without even realizing it.
Learn the signs and triggers of depression to get more of a clear
understanding of the disease and to know if it is what you are
suffering from. These signs include: loss of energy, irritability,
inability to concentrate, constant feelings of sadness, decreased
interest in everyday activities, tiredness, change in diet, feelings of
hopelessness, thoughts of suicide or death.
Let it out!
Talk to someone you trust: a close friend, a sibling, a neighbor, a parent or a guidance counselor. Tell them how you're feeling even though you don’t know the causes of your sadness. Once you start talking about your emotions, you will begin to recognize the root of your sadness and possible reasons for it.
Do things to clear your head. Go for a run or walk. Listen to music or read inspiring books. Get journaling or crafty by learning how to knit or scrapbook. Paint. Make sure that you are eating well and getting enough rest.
If you continue to feel like your sadness is affecting your life, schoolwork and relationships with your friends and family talk to your doctor.
Chin up girl. Life will get better.
xoxo
Keltie
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/19/2009 7:00:00 AM 52 COMMENTS
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I have a problem and it's controlling my life. I get panic attacks at school when I get called on to read out loud. I can barely talk when the teacher calls on me. I can hardly breathe.
I'm embarrassed about the whole situation. Ever since it happened once, I get a panic attack every time I get called on because I'm scared I'll have another and embarrass myself. It's making me nervous to come to school each day. Help me, please!
Hey girl, sorry to hear that you're going through this. Reading out loud is already nerve-racking enough without having to worry about panic attacks, so I can only imagine how stressed you must be. When I was younger, I hated being called on or reading out loud. I would always get way nervous and mess up when I read, so you’re def not alone. But the good news is that you can change that.
Why so shy?
If it’s gotten bad enough that you don’t even want to go to school, it's time to take charge. First, you gotta figure out why you're so afraid to pipe up in class. Are you extremely shy? Feel like you're gonna trip over your words? Relax! You're a great, smart chica just the way you are. And remember, everyone makes mistakes. Who cares if you pronounce a president's name wrong? It'll be OK and if anyone thinks you're stupid, they're just immature. You learn by making blunders, so don't be afraid to put yourself out there.
Get set to start talkin'
Now you need to get comfy with talking in class. Practice reading out loud, slowly and carefully when you're alone in your room. An added bonus about reading to yourself? Since you're taking in the material in a different way, you'll really focus on what you're learning and get in extra study time.
You can also start off by reading in classes where you feel more comfy. Getting straight A's in English? Raise your hand and read a passage from Jane Eyre. Got a BFF in one of your classes? Just knowing she's near will ease your fears.
Focus on your faves
Also, try to think about the things in school that you love instead of worrying about embarrassing yourself. If you can’t wait to hang with your gal pals at lunch or you just LOVE that amazing art class, look forward to stuff like that! Everyone embarrasses themselves, and everyone makes mistakes. It’s part of being human. And nerves just make it more likely to happen. So when you get to class, and before you have to read out loud, take a deep breath and just relax.
I hope this helps, girl. Good luck! Go out and show ‘em what you’ve got!
Xoxo,
Kristen Y.
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/12/2009 7:00:00 AM 84 COMMENTS
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