Tough Stuff
My mom just told me that she and my dad are getting divorced! What!? I naturally ran off to my room, crying. I couldn’t take it. Why is this happening? Is there a way to keep them together? (PLEASE tell me there is). And, how can I cope? I feel so sad and depressed. I have no idea how I can deal.
-polkadot111094
Aww, darling, I'm so sorry to hear you have to go through this. Divorces are one of the toughest things families can go through and are especially tough for the kids to deal with. I know you are shocked and confused right now and want them to stay together -- but I'm sorry to say that sometimes you just have to let go. Sometimes, it's for the best.
You want your parents to be happy, right? You don't want them to stay together just for the sake of staying together if they're unhappy or don't love each other anymore. If they've decided that a divorce is their best option, it probably is. You have to trust that they are making the best choice for themselves and ultimately your entire family (because the way they feel inside will ultimately affect their relationship with the rest of your family).
I know it hurts right now, but over time, you'll adjust to the changes and things will eventually get to feeling normal again. In the mean time, call on your friends for love and support. It always helps to have a shoulder to cry on and someone to listen to you rant and just get all of your feelings out. Don't be afraid to just let it all out -- but then dry your eyes and be strong. Moping around will only make you feel worse -- so try to make the best of the situation. And remember: it's going to be OK.
<3 Jessie M.
BY ANDREA T. ON 5/13/2008 8:44:00 AM 45 COMMENTS
My parents have talked a lot about moving lately, and to a place I've always loved. I would love to live there, but it's across the country. I finally have a BF I’m really comfortable around and everything's going great! But, moving would also be a great opportunity for my dad. What should I do???
-volleyball_chica
What a tough thing to go through, babe. I recently had a similar situation -- my parents were considering moving to Florida and wanted me to go with them. I love Florida, but I have an entire life here in Maryland that I didn't want to leave. Luckily my parents decided against it so I didn't have to really make a final decision; but I definitely understand how you're feeling.
Unfortunately, since you're not an adult yet, you'll have to go wherever they go. In a way, it's a good thing -- you don't have to worry about making such a huge decision because you really have no choice. But of course it definitely stinks... because you have no choice!
I know it's tough because you have a boyfriend and all, but honestly, boys come and go. Sometimes these types of opportunities are rare. So try to think less of what you'd be leaving and more of what you'd be gaining. A chance for some change and excitement in your life. An opportunity to live somewhere you love. And if it's a great opportunity for your dad, who knows what other great things it could bring for the rest of your family. Try to look at the positive side as much as possible -- there's no use in worrying yourself over things you have no control over.
<3 Jessie M.
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BY ANDREA T. ON 5/6/2008 11:41:00 AM 95 COMMENTS
My mom and step dad fight all the time and my mom usually ends up crying. I don’t get in trouble, but my sister does. The fights are usually about her. She is always making a mess just so my mom can pick it up. And she never says thank you to my mom (she’s 9). My step dad says it’s my mom’s job to pick them up, and she shouldn’t get mad. What should I do to make my house a bit more peaceful?
-MissRG
Hey MissRG,
It’s tough when parents fight because as much as you want to, there’s usually nothing you can do to make things better. And sometimes parents don’t realize how much it really affects you, too. When they’re fighting, try to stay out of it. Let them deal with their problems without getting you involved. Sometimes opening your mouth just adds fuel to the fire, and we don’t want that.
If a lot of the fights are stemming from things involving your sister, try to have a sit down with her and help her identify these things that are disrupting the harmony in your household. Come up with solutions together on how to prevent them. If your mom and step dad are fighting a lot about cleaning up your sister’s messes, then help your sister come up with ways to make sure she cleans up after herself. Try to get her to understand that being more responsible for her own actions might help everyone in the long run.
<3 Jessie M.
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BY JIAE K. ON 4/29/2008 12:00:00 AM 130 COMMENTS
I have a huge problem and her name is Heather. Heather is a frenemy. I sit next to her in Spanish class and whenever I try to sit down, she’ll pull my chair out from beneath me. And whenever I get up, she pushes the chair into the back of my knees, making me fall again. She always talks when the teacher is talking and copies my homework. I tell her all the time to stop doing these things, but no matter what I say, she won’t stop. I’m getting really fed up with her bullying. I’ve already told my dad and he has no ideas. How can I get her to stop?
-SuNsHiNe
How annoying! She seems like she’s just trying to get attention, honestly—either from people around you who might get a laugh out of it, or you. Unfortunately, that’s definitely not the way to get positive attention from anyone.
If you want to be her friend, but she’s just being too annoying, talk to her about it. Tell her firmly, “Seriously, if you want to be my friend, you have to stop. It’s really annoying.” If she doesn’t stop, or if you don’t want to be her friend, try to avoid her as much as possible. Don’t sit near her in class anymore (ask your teacher to move your seat if you need to). Also, branch out and try to make other friends with people who will treat you right.
And don’t be afraid to speak up! You could seriously get hurt one day with the antics that she pulls. If talking to her doesn’t work and ignoring her doesn’t work, let your teachers know about it. You’re not being a tattletale, you’re just looking out for your own safety. What if a teacher catches her cheating off of you and you’re blamed as an accomplice? What if one day you fall off your chair and sprain your ankle? Stand up to her bullying and let her know she has to stop!
<3 Jessie M.
BY JIAE K. ON 4/22/2008 12:00:00 AM 134 COMMENTS