My grandma's addicted to prescription drugs

My family is in a bad situation right now. My grandma is addicted to prescription medication. She goes to different doctors to get at least five bottles of the same stuff, which is illegal. She’s also getting a divorce from my grandpa. 

My grandma spends a lot of time taking care of my great-grandma who has Alzheimer’s. My mom has told my grandma that she needs to take responsibility and get help, but she won’t listen! The court served my grandma with papers saying she has to have a guardian because she can’t make decisions for herself anymore.

Now my grandma thinks she got served those papers because of my mom (which isn’t true). They’re going to take my great-grandma away from my grandma and she will have to go into a nursing home, which I really don’t want! How can I convince my grandma to get help?

Hey hon, all grandmas are different. Yeah, some are your typical grammie: they knit sweaters, bake cookies and play bingo. But there are other grandmoms who have jobs, still love to travel...or have serious problems. The bottom line is that no one is perfect—no matter how old they may be. Grandmothers are real people, just like you and me. And real people make real mistakes.

It sounds as though your grannie may have turned to prescription drugs as a way to deal with the stress of taking care of your great-grandmother. Alzheimer’s is an ugly disease that’s especially tough on a caretaker. But that’s not an excuse for your grandmother. Chances are, she’s ashamed of her addiction, but doesn’t know how to ask for help.

Instead of judging your grandma, try talking to her. You could say, “Grandma, I’m really concerned about your health. I love you and want you to get the help you need.” Can't say it in person? Show her you care with a heartfelt card. Elderly people are at a higher risk of developing prescription drug abuse than younger people. It’s important for your grandmother to know she’s not alone.

Treatment is available to help grannie get back on her feet. But she’s going to need a lot of love and support from you and your family. The first step is to have your grandmother make an appointment with her doctor. It’s a long road to recovery, but with you by her side, your grandma can make it. Best of luck, girl!

GOT YOUR OWN TOUGH STUFF SITCH? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

BY CAITLIN R. ON 11/17/2009 7:00:00 AM 38 COMMENTS

Telling my friends I have cystic fibrosis

I have a prob. I have cystic fibrosis, a disease affecting your lungs and digestive system. I haven't told some of my friends yet.

My BFF knows, of course, but I'm scared to tell two of my friends. What if they think less of me? Can you help me figure out how to tell them?

I’m so sorry to hear all this. Cystic fibrosis is a serious disease, and I know it must be hard for you to deal with. And on top of all that it’s never easy telling anyone your secrets...even they're your closest buds.

You gotta remember that your chicas are friends with you for who you are on the inside. Your personality is what brought you together, isn’t it? Like clothes, accessories, or your looks, your health isn’t something that shapes you. If these two other girls are your true friends, this shouldn't change how they treat you or how they feel about you.

As for actually telling your pals about the disease, you want to make them feel as comfortable as possible about it. It may be hard for you to tell your pals, but it's gonna be hard for them to take this all in. So make sure that you tell them at the right time. Call them over for girls’ night where you can sit down and tell them you story. Be prepared—they might have a lot of questions. You could also try writing it out in a letter or message. Ask your mom, dad or your BFF to help you find the right words.

Also, it’s really important that you give them time to let the info sink in. It’ll be hard for them to realize that their friend has a disease. Let them know how you're dealing with it and if there's anything they can do to help. If you keep it together, they will to. I know this will be really hard for you to do, once you get it off your chest you'll feel soo much better. I know this is a lot to handle so stay strong. Your friends will stick by you and everyone on GL is always here if you wanna talk it out.

GOT YOUR OWN TOUGH STUFF SITCH? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

BY CAITLIN R. ON 11/10/2009 7:00:00 AM 36 COMMENTS

When a friend is cutting...

One of my great friends recently started cutting himself. He's not depressed and I'm pretty sure he just does it for the attention. I've read that it is a cry for help. A couple of days ago, he came to school with a few scratches on his wrist. I decided not to take it too seriously because it was the first time.

The next day, he came in with more cuts that were much deeper than before. I told my teacher so he can get the help that he needs. My teacher had a meeting with his parents to discuss his needs the next day. Last night I sent him a very nice text asking how he was feeling. He responded, “Thanks a lot. Thanks 2 u everyone hates me. My parents grounded me for 3 months!” I was shaken. I knew I had done the right thing. I responded, “I’m sorry ur parents grounded u. But w/ counseling I think u will come 2 forgive me.” I know after a while he won't hate me anymore, but for now it hurts. What should I do?

First of all, you did the right thing! Don’t second guess yourself or feel guilty about anything. Your friend needs help with his cutting and with the cause of his cutting—which seems to be a lack of confidence.

Now that you've opened up, hopefully he can get the proper help from school counselors and his parents. All you can really do is let him know that you were worried about him, and that’s why you got him help. He will come around eventually, especially if he sees that you are supporting him through the whole process.

Your pal is probably angry because he feels like you betrayed him. Give him some time. Once he goes through counseling he'll realize you didn't mean to hurt him at all. After things have calmed down a bit you may want to write him a cute, heartfelt card about how much you care for him. Include funny pics, your fave song lyrics, your apologies...whatever you think will make him chin up.

Let him know that you're there for him if he needs you, but give him space and time to get professional help. Just remember that you made the right decision, and that any good friend would have done what you did. If he chooses to cut you out of his life, then let him. It’s his loss for losing such a fantastic friend!

GOT YOUR OWN TOUGH STUFF SITCH? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

BY CAITLIN R. ON 11/3/2009 7:00:00 AM 83 COMMENTS

Grieving for Grandpa

My grandpa passed away suddenly a few weeks ago. He didn’t have significant health problems, he just died in his sleep. My siblings and I were pretty close to him and it feels like a part of me is lost.

Hey babe, I'm very sorry to hear about your grandpa passing. Death is a very hard thing to deal with and there's really not much anyone can say to make the pain go away. But don't keep all your feelings bottled up.

Your family members are probably feeling the same. It might feel better to talk to your siblings about what they're going through. This way you'll know that you're not alone. If it feels weird to say your feelings out loud, jot down some of the thoughts you're having in a journal. Just getting it out on paper releases a lot of your pent-up emotions.

Write down some of your favorite memories you've had with your grandpa. I bet your mom would appreciate hearing some of those stories. That's a great way to open up a convo with her. I know she's sad too, but even she would probably like to have someone to talk to. Right now your mama needs your support as much as you need hers.

It's going to take a while for you to feel better. Grief takes different amounts of time for different people, so be patient and supportive to your entire family. If you still feel really alone, see if you can set up an appointment with your school counselor. You could show him/her your journal entries or just talk about what's been going on since he passed away. Keep your chin up and you'll be able to get through this, babe.

GOT YOUR OWN TOUGH STUFF SITCH? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/27/2009 7:00:00 AM 41 COMMENTS