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My parents punish me instead of helping me

I’m having some serious issues with my parents. I feel like they just don’t understand me when I do something wrong or forget something. ...
49 Comments | Add Yours

Mod mod mod
Ok so me and my stepdad and mom have been fighting a lot lately. I also wanted to spend more time with her and be able to talk I her more,I told her and she said we would. Nothing has changed I told her that last year and I keep trying to tell her but she doesn't listen, she actually started talking and hanging out with my step dad more! my mOm married my stepdad when I was 3 do we were kinda close. My mon always has put my stepdad before me in anything.he makes fun of me a lot and she knows and does nothing about it. I try talking to her but she always finds a way not to. I was thinking about moving with my dad but he's really selfish and my stepmom is really mean and doesnt like me I don't know what to do HELP!?!?!,

Hey babe,

You need to find a way to force her to sit down and take you seriously on this.  It may involve going to your Dad or your Stepdad as an outside force.  Let her know just how much you want to do this and that with the way things are you wonder how much she really cares about you, that you just want to be closer to her.
Jordan S.

by Haileygab on 5/28/2012 8:02:31 PM


i feel the exact same way thanks for giving advice on this

by kayla8575 on 10/21/2011 3:29:21 PM


I am thinking of kissing my bf tomorrow but i am scared bc i havent kissed anyone b4. wat should i do? Help!

Hey babe,

Take a deep breath - a first kiss can be scary, but it'll be totally fine! Read our kissing guide for all the most important tips Smile
Lauren C.

by abens1997 on 4/25/2011 10:25:24 PM


i under stand your problem Same with me ive been having silly problems with my dad all the time like when i need to talk to him and he is in pain he just yells and says WHAT!!! and i feel like he dosnt care for me.and sometimes he just gets mad at me for no reason or just not cleaning my room i dont get it i well on my own time but he dosnt have to yell at me!!!??? hes my only parent and he just had a STROKE.that really scares me.he is just being an good parent but he dosnt understand me at all.i really need my space and i cant even talk to him about my feeligs...What do i do????

by mozilla10 on 3/16/2011 10:52:51 AM


My mom says bad things about my dad to my face, so I tell my dad and then he call's my mom saying "I don't like that you keep saying bad things about me." and then she gets peeved and punishes ME for something SHE said. Help??


Hey girlie, I think you should tell your dad, and ask him what you should do

Paige T.

by love_10 on 2/26/2011 9:59:20 AM


okay so i'm a 8th grader and i have a freind who is a senior and recently we have gotten realy close and so shes like my sister so her 18th b-day is coming up and she realy wants me to go and i realy want to go to. the problem is i will be one of the youngest. also her dad will not be there but her older brother and his feance will be shaperoning there will also be a cupple other shaperons my parents know her brother and feance and another one of the shaperons. also this is a girl guy allnighter. do you have any tips on how i should ask my parents?

Hey girlie,

Try bringing up the idea of the party to them and explain maturely how much she means to you as a friend. If they seem skeptical or a little hesitant, that's ok. Give them her brother and his fiance's contact info so they can talk to them and ask any questions they might have. Remember to be calm and don't throw a fit, even if they say no. It's their decision at the end of it so you have to respect them... but being 100% honest with them about the entire thing will make them trust you more and they'll be more likely to say yes!
Lauren C.

by alaina978978 on 2/14/2011 7:54:54 PM


saammeee heerreee):

by peacelovecandy on 2/7/2011 8:12:58 PM


aww that suckss girliee, i hope things work outt!

by lili545 on 1/23/2011 9:58:16 PM


MOD MOD! PLEASE HELP! my mom is so mean to me! im in 8th grade, and my family just moved a half an hour away from where we used to live, and my mom PROMISED, as in a REAL promise, that we would NOT move until AFTER 8th grade, so i could be with my friends and graduate together and go on a feild trip to cedar point at the end of the year, but she totaly went against every promise she made to me in the past 6 months. she promised that she would drive me to my old neighborhood to see my old friends whenever i needed to,and i know that one is hard, but she stll broke it anyway, and i was just at my friends birthdat party,where she tried to pick me up early (but she ended up being late)just so she could take me home and hang out with her friends, even though i was at my friends party, THAT SHE HAS BEN PLANING ALL YEAR, just so she could go out with her friends(which she decided to do like on friday)!! i always tell her how i feel and she denies it! PLS HELP!

Hey girlie. Talk to her again. Make sure you don't come at her aggressively and instead voice your opinion calmly. If you're still having problems getting through to your mom, try talking to a guidance counselor at school.  
Marly Z.

by emscool1234 on 1/22/2011 9:26:54 PM


MOD MOD MOD My mom told me she doesn't trust me anymore since I've been getting in trouble a lot. She keeps repeating stuff like what am I going to do when your 15 and stuff. I really wanna gain her trust back. Any advice?



Hey chica! The best way you can earn her trust back is through your actions. Avoid getting in trouble, and show her how responsible you are. Do well in school, be respectul and follow the rules. And, help her out around the house when you can Smile


Becca G.

by Soccergirl68 on 1/20/2011 6:43:41 PM



So today is my birthday. I think I should get to choose what we do/ watch on TV etc. The only thing I get to pick is what we have for dinner but there is even limits on that. Other than dinner and cake my parents treat it just like any other day. It makes me feel like I'm not that important. Also for the past few years I haven't even gotten birthday gifts from them. I have a party but I still feel I should get something else. Am I expecting too much?

by sweetheart118 on 1/18/2011 3:25:25 PM


MOD! I need help. My parents won’t let me do anything a normal teenager does. I can't go on facebook, I can't see popular movies. My parents lock almost everything on TV. There is even a child safety software on our internet right at this very moment!! I have tried talking about it calmly but my mom just screams and yells at me all the time, and my dad sides with her. Mom controls this entire family... nobody has a say. HELP ME PLEASE!!

Hey girlie,

Read this article - I think the advice might really help you stay positive and hopeful about this situation <3

Lauren C.

by Cute GothicGirl on 1/17/2011 1:30:32 PM


This is the same prob with me!

by tangerine977 on 1/15/2011 1:49:58 AM


Hey chicas! This is Happy. I love giving advice- ask me anything- I’ll give you advice on school, boys, clothes, style, makeup, hair, beauty, family, friends, parties and other hangouts, gifts, jobs, workouts, eating, health, accessories, your body, entertainment, hobbies, after-school, depression, drama of any kind, difficult situations, holidays, bullies, and anything else you want help figuring out! Ask your question on my profile, and I’ll post your question with well-thought out advice underneath on your wall ASAP!

by Ask Happy on 1/13/2011 6:48:08 PM


MOD- im having serious problems with my mom. im a freshman in hs, and i go to a really hard school but instead of doing the math science tech magnet i did a different one that is supposedly easier (but better meets my interests). I got all A's this semester because i tried rlly rlly hard but she doesnt get that i hav to try. i do key club, which requires 50 hrs of volunteer work. i also am sorta in debate club, which is the problem. i go to practices but its REALLY not my thing, I HATE IT! i seriously DREAD it. my mom just figured out there have been tournaments (which i don't go to, of course) and got really mad that i havent gone. she told me i hav to do "hard, academic" extracurriculars, and i would if i had one i enjoyed! the prollem is that i dont think any will let me in late, and i can't drop out of debate but i don't think i can stick with it any more! what do i do? i tred to talk to her but she DOESNT GET IT!! Frown any advice? thanks!!

Hey girl, I can definitely tell you by doing all that in HS, you're going to get into an incredible college! I think you need to have a sitdown with her. If you don't like what you're doing, and its really hard on top of all your other work, its not fair she keeps you in the debate team. Why don't you do something else like a sports team? Colleges really look for diversity in activities. Not just academics, but what else you've been up to. You can do it. Be strong! =]

lauren r.

by fencingchic101 on 1/12/2011 6:03:24 PM


MOD! My bff and my dad hate each other! We played a joke on him and asked him "y he was so mean" on facebook and he didnt take it the right way and grounded and said i cant hang out with her. Everytime i try to talk to him he doesnt believe me or he wont even listen. I wanna hang out with my bff. How do i get my dad to listen and not hate her anymore???


Hey girlie. Ask him why he doesn't like her. Don't get in a fight about it but just ask him very calmly. Tell him how important she is to you in your life.

Elizabeth P.

by cait010 on 1/7/2011 11:58:34 PM


I feel your pain. really. There's just something those kind of parents have to learn is that true unconditional love is loving someone for who they are and not just because they are your kid. Until they figure that out its a tough road from here and people dont change easily.

by KPswirls on 1/5/2011 10:08:53 PM


MOD!MOD!MOD! okay my sister cleans like a maniac and shes 9. whenever something is out of place she freaks out.she makes little piles of stuff everywhere and moves all my things around! i love my sis but she gets me really frustrated when she does this help!!!



Hey chica! I would definately talk to your sis, or your parents about this. Let her know that while you really appreciate her trying to help, you'd prefer if she didn't move your things around. She should understand if you tell her how you feel!


Becca G.

by lolgirl15 on 1/2/2011 6:49:43 PM


My parents are just like that, my father always says I do a pathetic cleaning job, I hurts a lot.

by ashlyn42 on 1/1/2011 6:02:06 PM


Hey Chicas! Need advice? Well I’m here to help! I Love to give advice, and will answer your question ASAP. I’ll know 99% of this stuff, inside and out, and if not, I’ll look it up for you!

Here are some of my Topics!
*Mean Girls
*Figure Skating
*Starting Middle School

I'll also be giving tips of the day, and weekly advice on one of these topics each week on my profile!

♥ Megan ♥

by Chicka678 on 12/30/2010 11:17:08 PM


MOD MOD!! I have told my dad about this New Years party for weeks now and he said i could go. For the first time,he mentioned that we had a family get together. If i would have let him know about something that "last minute," he wouldn't let me go. Please help. Thanks Smile



Hey chica! I'm not sure I understand your question. Is your dad not letting you go now?


Becca G.

by daughtry60763 on 12/30/2010 7:20:59 PM


MOD MOD MOD! Hey girlies! What are some good make up ideas and hair ideas for new years eve?I'm planning on wearing mostly gray, but I plan on keeping my make up simple.As for my hair, I keep it straight EVERY DAY and wish to have it be a little more different and fun.I'd love to hear your opinion! Thanks! <3 -Bubbles



Hey chica! I posted a response to your question on my profile, under your post there Smile


Becca G.

by PurpleChicka on 12/30/2010 5:40:06 PM


Hey girlies! What are some good make up ideas and hair ideas for new years eve?I'm planning on wearing mostly gray, but I plan on keeping my make up simple.As for my hair, I keep it straight EVERY DAY and wish to have it be a little more different and fun.I'd love to hear your opinion! Thanks! <3 -Bubbles

by PurpleChicka on 12/30/2010 5:35:30 PM


i totally understand. i feel that way to. but you have to nip it in the bud. go to your mom or dad and tell them how you feel. it may be scary at first, standing up to your folks but it'll help in the long run

by thisisme3 on 12/28/2010 9:06:28 PM


My parents are annoying like that too. :/ Iexplained to them what was wrong and how I didn't like the fact they were treating me that way and it helped for awhile. Now they just leave me alone.

by oliviasayshi13 on 12/28/2010 6:42:28 PM


i just got my ears pierced about an hour ago. are my ear lobes supposed to be purple & with the veins visible? kinda freaked out... :/


Hey girl. Yes, the swelling should go down soon!

Elizabeth P.

by mac1255 on 12/28/2010 2:55:57 PM


My problems's kinda the same. When i forget soemthing my mom yells at me and once i was helping her bake and decorate cookies she was selling and i dropped a sugar cookie face down on the counter after i put frosting on it and my mom yelled and said "You know what, just go. If you're not gonna do it right then don't help me" but i was only tryin to help out and be nice. Once i talked back and yelled "I thought it was normal to make mistakes" but no matter what i do wrong she yells and hates on me for it. It's hard and i have to learn to understand she's just stressed even though i always wanna tell hr it's no exception to how she treats me and what she says. Life.

by twilightluvr316 on 12/28/2010 2:03:10 PM


This article happens to me all of the time too!!! But everytime I try to explain myself my parents yell at me for talking back...what should I do?? Thanks a mill SmileMyka

by cross_country.cocoa on 12/28/2010 1:51:19 PM



by HarryPotterFanClub on 12/28/2010 12:13:16 PM


MODMOD I haven't gotten my period in 51 days! What do I do????


Hey girlie! Periods are irregular in the first year or so, and for some girls their whole life! I can definitely atest to that, but I would still talk to your mom and doctor about it just to be safe.

Caitlin F.

by *Sigh* on 12/28/2010 10:09:01 AM


MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD Hey. Question::: It seems like im constantly having to prove myself to my seemingly perfect "bff". Its like I'll try my hardest to win her over and then she forgets about it all the next day and is back to judging me and leaving me out. What should I do? Thanks a mill! Bette.


Hey girl, It's important to show our buds we care about them, but you should never feel like you have to "prove" yourself to anyone - especially your BFF.  Be friendly, but be yourself.  If she doesn't seem to accept that, use your energy on friends who do.  xoxo

Marie H.

by ♥theperfectperson♥ on 12/27/2010 11:55:32 PM


* Hey, girls!!! *
* Come advertise your club at Club Advertisement!!! *
* Just come read the profile and you''ll figure out * * what to do!!! *
* Please come cuz it took me forever to do this!!! * *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

by Club Advertisement on 12/27/2010 11:26:24 PM



Hey girl, You can rest assured that it is not a life-threatening illness.  But since you have concerns and questions, I think it would be a good idea to come clean and talk to your mom.  Be honest with her, and tell her that you saw the prescription.  Tell her that you are sorry, but also let her know what's been on your mind and that it made you worried.  She might be mad at first, but hopefully she will be willing to clear things up with you.  xoxo

Marie H.

by chickeymizzou24 on 12/27/2010 9:48:00 PM


Hey girls
if you ever need advice on anything just come to my profile and leave your sitch in a comment there, I'll be sure to answer as quickly as possible Smile
or if you just want to talk, I'm here too! Laughing

by dreamsnwishes on 12/27/2010 9:47:14 PM


Hey Gals! I have done the very first Girlslife Channel. Girls have already joined. Join today and get advice, post whats on your mind, and have fun. I do posts all the time now and you might just learn something new. Check out my profile. ♥ Ya All!!

by twilightfan4ever0303 on 12/27/2010 9:44:45 PM


Mod Nothing ever works out for me. I got invited to a girl that sits at my lunch tables party. Then I totally forgot about that over the christmas weekend. Then I got invited to go to laser tag which is one of my favorite things to do. Then I realized they were both one the same day and time then I realized that it was a birthday party. Then I was helping my little bro with his guitar and I broke one of the strings. Then both my parents started swearing at me and now I am so mad.everything that happens to me and that I do hood turns so bad o great now my dad just said I have to pay for the guitar string and I don't have any money beacuaae I spent alot on Xmas gifts and I loose tV iPod and videogames until I pay for. I don't know what to do Anymore please help me.


Hey girl, I'm sorry it feels like nothing is going your way lately.  First, you have to not be so hard on yourself.  Everyone makes mistakes and is a little clumsy sometimes.  It's how you handle them that matter.  As for the mix-up on dates, one way to solve that is to get a cute calendar or planner, and mark important events down so you don't forget.  As for the family sitch, trying to keep a calm head, being kind, and doing what you can when you make a mistake (like paying for the broken string) will help.  But if you keep feeling down on yourself or having other troubles, reach out to someone you trust (like a friend, teacher, or counselor).  You deserve to feel good. Smile

Marie H.

by cecgirl98 on 12/27/2010 9:14:34 PM


Me and my dad... We're having serious issues. we're starting to grow apart and I don't feel like I can fix it.
We constantly get in screaming matches, he swears at me and asks me questions about girl stuff and my mom and her boyfriend that i'm not comfortable talking about. When we come home from my mom's the house is always a mess and he makes no effort to cook for us, clean or help out. He instead talks on the phone to his newest date interest and plays his xbox. The few times he offered to do something and I didn't feel like it he screamed at me and swore. Whenever I ask to be taken to church he rolls his eyes. More often now, i'm hiding in my room crying then living what a teenager should. I don't know what to do my life seems to be falling apart... HELP! Frown

Hey girlie,

I'm so sorry to hear that! If he's responsible for you, he should at least make sure he takes care of you at his house. Don't let this get you down - it sounds like he has lost his motivation, not that he's doing it because he doesn't care about you. Make a list of the things he has done that made you upset. It all counts - the fact that he plays his XBox instead of talking to you, or leaves you to make your own meals, or tries to get you to talk about personal things you don't want to talk about. Everything you told me, write it down. Then bring the list to your dad and try to sit down with him when he isn't busy. Be calm and mature, and explain to him that your relationship with him means a lot and you really want to work on it. Don't whine and don't attack him - just tell him you love him and wish you could be closer again. If he agrees and tries to change things, that's great. If things stay the same, try bringing the list to your mom and explain everything to her. She's also responsible for your happiness and will be able to help <3

Lauren C.

by laughingfirecracker on 12/27/2010 8:48:30 PM


I hate it when my parents just wont forgive and forget about small things like bickering with my little brother... most of the time i don't even start it... my brother does and i get in trouble!!!! GRRRRR i hate that sooo much!

by hailbop16 on 12/27/2010 7:12:08 PM


That would stink...........i'm glad i'm not in that position.

Need advice?? Need it fast?? Then ask me, the Advice Queen. I give advice on everything and anything. From boys to fashion to puberty, I can help with whatever you need. Just post your Qs on my pro and I’ll get back to you ASAP. Check me out! ;)

XOXO~Courtney <333333

by cmn5297 on 12/27/2010 6:54:29 PM


chipotle is my favorite restaurant, but i know it's unhealthy. my doctor said i need to lose 60 pounds. any tips on how to lose weight and how to eat less chipotle (i eat it a few times a week)

Hey girlie,

I already answered your question in the past 2 hours or so, so please go back to where you posted this before to find the answer! Smile   

Lauren C.

by Superstarlala on 12/27/2010 6:38:02 PM


Hey girlies if you need advice on
< boys
< friends
< family
< hair
< makeup
< style
< stress
< school
< anger
< sadness
< jealousy
< babysitting
< crafts
< health
< sports
< drama (of any type)
< popularity
< bullies
< breakups
and anything else you can think of! I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE giving advice!
PS. I'm on GL a lot so I'll get back to ya the day you post your comment!
xoxo kikidee12

by kikidee12 on 12/27/2010 5:32:30 PM


so my mother has depression and doesnt really show it, and my dad has the gout and its really hard for him to use his left foot. My parents were both yelling at eachother and getting really angry last night. My mom and dad have been fighting on and off like this for the past idk, 6 months. My brother and sister who are 5 and 7 really get scared and start to cry because they are little and dont know better and so i get stuck trying to get them to calm down and get them happy again, plus it is like i am babysitting them. Please tell me how to deal with this.
Love Aurora
PS( sorry this was so long) Smile

Hey Aurora,

No prob - that's what we're here for, so you write as much as you need! All families go through ups and downs - things can get pretty tense and it's the toughest for us and our sibs, since it's our parents' prob and we have no way to make it better. Even though it sounds cliche, you need to remind yourself and your sibs that they're not fighting because of you - they love you TONS and are arguing with each other. It might be hard to see how that's a good thing, but it's a personal issue between them that isn't any of your faults. So, while it may be stressful, at least you can try to separate yourself from it <3 When your bro and sis cry and get upset, try to take their minds completely off of the situation. Play a game with them, or tell them a story (rather loudly) and act it out with animated movements and silly faces. If it's during the day, bundle up and take a walk outside. Or ask them random questions - like what their fave scene from a movie is, where they would go on vacation if they could go anywhere in the world, etc. Get their imaginations going and you'll be able to make it through <3 Lots of love chickie.

Lauren C.

by AuroraThompson on 12/27/2010 4:45:14 PM


MODMODMOD (mostly my dad) always yells at me when i do something wrong that is not even important, and when he helps me on a school project and lets say i glue something like one centimeter away from where he wanted it, he just yells at me. In other words he wants me to do everything perfectly and wants me to be perfect. What should i do to end this?

Hey chica,

It sounds like dad has a hard time expressing his frustration - he wants to control things and, when they don't go "perfect" as you said, his only response is to shout so he can release that anger. The next time it happens, give him a little bit of time to calm down and walk away from the project. Then go to him in a little while and calmly talk about it. Don't dwell on the specific situation, but just tell him that you are you and that you aren't always going to do things perfectly, or do things the way he wants them to be done. But tell him you're trying hard and you want to learn from his experience in any way you can. Tell him you'd be really happy making him happy if you could, so if he has suggestions on how to do something better, he should calmly explain them to you. That's what you would respond to best, so it'll probably be helpful to share this with him. Try to be patient with him and see how it goes <3

Lauren C.

by sammy4457 on 12/27/2010 4:28:22 PM


Mod mod kod most girls legs stay shaved atleast 2 days mine don't is there a way to lengthn the shave? thanx


Hey girlie. NOt that I know of...some hair just grows faster!

Elizabeth P.

by Memesputerpunkingirl on 12/27/2010 2:28:31 PM


Mod mod mod do u think fake nails are better for school or like chrch skate park etc

Hey girlie,

Fake nails are best for special occasions I think... since they can damage your natural nails, you shouldn't use them too often! But remember that depending on the quality of the nails, they could break off if you're doing something intense like skating or other sports. You'll get your money's worth if you're able to take it easy at school/church while you have them Smile

Lauren C.

by Memesputerpunkingirl on 12/27/2010 2:26:28 PM


My dad is always yelling and calling me names And when I try to talk to him about it he tells me to shutup and he always yells at me and sometimes I feel like it's all my fault , what should I do?

Hey darling. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. If you have a chance, talk to your dad when he is calm and not in a bad mood, and tell him how his yelling is effecting you emotionally. If that doesn't help, then reach out to a trusted teacher or guidance counselor. Sometimes these situations are out of our control, it the help of a third party is needed. 
Jessica W.

by jollyrancher111 on 12/27/2010 11:56:10 AM


Ik Frown Its like you get punished for messing up sometimes! I mean I am forgetful and lose things and then my mom gets mad at me.. i mean I didn't TRY to.

by frostybunny9 on 12/27/2010 11:51:41 AM


Lately, my parents and I have been fighting a lot. I can't stand it at all! THey are always mad at me or I am mad at them or we are all mad at each other. I try to talk to them in a calm voice but it never works because they get mad if i try to ell them that I want them to stop yelling at me if I do something wrong. How do I tell them that I want them to stop yelling at me??

Hey girlie. Sorry to hear about that, but don't worry. GL has a great article which can give you some helpful advice in this situation: 
Jessica W.

by kitkatt23 on 12/27/2010 11:19:34 AM


well, my mom just found out i have been doing my brows cause there is a little scratch under them (i scratched myself with the tweezers i guess)and now she is all like why did u do this and your too young and why didnt you ask, my mom lets me do my eyebrows in the middle but not under and now i really feel sad and angry about it and i dont wanna let them grow out cause they will get thick! what can i do to let her understand me (sorry this is long Smile

Hey girlie! It seems you need to have a talk with your mom since you both have different understandings about tweezing. Ask her if you can speak to her privately and then tell her that as a young adult you wish she will respect your decision and feelings. Also mention that you respect her wishes as your mother. Then explain to her why you feel you must tweeze under your eyebrows, why letting them grow out would make you feel uncomfortable. Also tell her how long you've been doing it and how you have been able to keep it under control for so long. Once she understands your feelings, maybe you both can reach a compromise so that both your wishes can be fulfilled without either having to feel uncomfortable.  
Jessica W.

by rolapa on 12/27/2010 9:25:13 AM

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