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BFF trauma: How can I help her?

MY BFF was raped and kicked out of her house. I feel like nothing I can do will help her...
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120 Comments | Add Yours
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I agree with your Danerka. She didn't have to kill the baby. The girl didn't asked to get raped and the baby didn't ask to be created. It didn't have a choice. Getting an abortion doesn't make you un-pregnant, it only makes you the mother of a dead baby.

by mschultz8 on 3/31/2012 5:24:17 PM

 
 

Yes, it is horrible that she was raped-disgusting. The father should be charged so that she won't be scarred. As for the parents, they need to realize that she was the victim of something horrible and that she was innocent. About abortion: It is wrong, no matter what some people think. She didn't have to keep the baby, but she didn't have to kill it. She can give it up for adoption so that it will live a happy life and the family it lives with will have the great time of being with it.
Here are some questions:
Do you think murdering a bay is right?
Some people say it isn't alive, but it has a heartbeat within a month. What do you think about that?
What if you were adopted, but your parents had the choice to abort? What if your best friend was adopted? You you want them dead instead?
I feel VERY sorry for that girl. And, where did it say she was twelve?

by Danerka on 3/2/2012 4:53:36 PM

 
 

I dont care what you guys think about, but she made the right choice getting an abortion, bcuz she is only 12. As for her parents kicking her out of the house, what total idiots!!! It wasnt her fault she got raped theres not much you can do when your only 12! As for you, i really think you made the right choice letting her stay at your house. oh and btw, i am christian and i think abortion is wrong but when your 12 its okay cuz u could die from giving birth 2 a child. best of luck!

by shellyjelly on 1/31/2012 8:45:56 PM

 
 

WOW! that's so sad! i respect her choice but it's till very sad. i mean after what she has gone threw then kicked out?

by izzygirl13 on 1/27/2012 5:45:58 PM

 
 

oh my gosh!!!! this is so terrible. if i were her i would get the abortion, because being a teen mother is just awful-sounding. i feel really bad for her.

i mean-

RAPED??!!

THROWN OUT OF HER HOUSE???!!!

that is horrible! if i had superpowers i would kill the guy who raped her and then . . . . um, i don't know what else i would do. oh- i got it.

give your friend a big hug and tell her that everything will be OK!

by 7200wolfgirl7200 on 11/6/2011 11:34:44 AM

 
 

OMG!!! Please don't let her get an abortion!! I go to a Catholic school, and I have to do a pro-life essay this year. After reading about the horrible things that abortion can do and may cause, you realy shouldn't let her!! It can cause trauma for the mother, because you see the baby die on an xray, and then have to give birth to it. She will SEE THE BABy DEAD before it's THROWN IN THE TRASH-- litterally, I'm not kidding. The aborted baby is thrown in a trash bin for the garbage man to pick up. And if she does, she has six times the chance of commiting suicide than if she has the baby and gives it up for adoption. And, she can still keep in touch with the kid and his/her new mom/dad. PLEASE DON'T LET HER ABORT THE BABY!!!!!

by emathmind98 on 10/15/2011 3:15:47 PM

 
 

I need helpppp any advice from any1? My friend already goes to counseling and she has considered suicide and I tolls the Conde our and now she's going out with my ex bf I knew they were good friends but I'm still not over him u kno?? And so we got In a fight and she threatened and I told her not to talk to me because she was scarring me help!!!! What do I do

by tigerlily12 on 10/8/2011 12:35:07 AM

 
 

Hey Girls need advice??? Come on over to my club It's a Girl's Thing!!!! We answer questions that have to do with...
~Boys
~School
~Family
~Fashion
~Friends
~The tough things (bullying, pregnant, addictions, abuse, dealing with changes, sexuality)
~Puberty (periods, hormones, experimentation)
~Self Esteem
~Babysitting
I hope to hear from you soon!!!!
<3 Jamie

by proarchergal42 on 10/7/2011 8:14:49 PM

 
 



mod mod mod
Well me and my twin are good athletes... And my best friend who I have had for a long time let's call her c... Our other best friend who we've had "close" for about a year let's call her r... And we had volleyball tryouts and we were definately sure that me and my twin would make the "a" team... And we were thinking that c would make it too but we were worried about r... And actually it turns out that r and my twin and I made it and not c!!! So how will we talk abot the volleyball team when she is on the "b" team... I mean sure c is with our other friends but what will we absolutely do??? And of course we are soooo happy for r but so sad for c!!!Frown help!!!




Hey girlie,

At least she's playing! When you talk about volleyball, try not to make it all about the A team. Ask HER how her practices and games have been going. Ask her if she's worried about her next game against your rival team, if she's gotten to know anyone cool on her team, and how she likes the coach. Just make sure you're totally interested in her experiences on the B team and, over time, this will smooth over! Smile
Lauren C.

by Danielle:)3 on 8/26/2011 8:52:00 PM

 
 



MOD
I keep on trying to "break-up" with my friend, because I know it's best, but she'll walk up to me and just start talking like nothings wrong!! I keep on gettig drawn into talking to her! But I don't want to!! She called me a brat, said i don't listen to her, told me I should leave school, and is a complete jerk! HELP!!




Hi Sweetie,

It seems like your friend isn't taking you seriously -- that said, it seems like she still wants to be friends and might be willing to change her bratty behavior. A simple, "we should talk" could set a a tone for discussion, and you two can work things out.

 
Sarah G.

by celtina9 on 8/15/2011 1:16:53 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD My best friend about 2 years ago, her cousin sexually abused her(. She told me about it awhile afterwards, but now I am worried that if she goes to visit her aunt again that she might get hurt again. Her cousin is 3 or 4 years older than her and he has a girlfriend. She only told me and one other friend but she doesnt want us to tell anyone else. She loves to go visit her aunt and uncle but she wonders if he plans on hurting her again. I dont want her to get hurt but I dont want to break my promise pleas help!!




hey!  I'm so sorry this is a horrible situation for anyone to be in. first, urge your friend to tell someone who can protect her and punish her cousin. Tell her that she should not feel ashamed about what happened, he should. The only way that can happen is for her to speak up. If your friend won't help herself, then you have to make a judgement call. Is it worth it to you to risk her anger to save her, or do you think it's better for her to deal with this situation herself? It's a tough decision and there's not really a right answer. You have to do what you think is right. good luck to you and if you ever need to, go here: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx 
Helen S.

by a1m9b9y7r on 8/10/2011 6:41:01 PM

 
 

the sitch is rough.. i know...but if ya guys eva get in a fight ova anything...this is the best thing eva to remind ur bestie ur there and you always will be...lettin her stay with you is the best thing you can do to help her....and i bet if you get raped and thrown out of the house....ur friend would be there as much as you were!!!!!!!!!!!!

by glamazon on 7/10/2011 7:18:01 PM

 
 

I FEEL SO SORRY FOR YOU AND YOUR FRIEND. THE BEST YOU CAN DO IS BE A FRIEND AND STAY BY HER SIDE

by ladygirzzlie33 on 7/10/2011 2:10:52 PM

 
 

yikes thats hard.

by pinklol56 on 7/2/2011 9:50:44 AM

 
 



MOD!!!! Well, I sent my best friend a email. Some of it was pretty harsh . I just let all of my feelings out.
One thing I said was "I know we are best friends but I don't know about forever." My other best friend thinks that she's really not our best friend anymore. I feel the same way too. Do you think I should've wait.
I feel like I took matters into my own hands and I took charge of our friendship. OMG! HELP MOD




hey! well you sent the email so there's no going back. wait a few days and see if you miss her at all, then you'll know what to do Smile 
Helen S.

by Jessy4132001 on 6/17/2011 7:56:14 PM

 
 



MOD!MOD!MOD! My best friend is going to be famous in about a year, I'm not even joking. Her name is Riley Biederer (check out her videos on ****!). She has already gone to Elton John's house and talked to him about making a record deal and I am SO proud of her! But I'm just really scared that when she does become famous, I will lose her as a friend. She is such a special person to me and I really don't want to lose her. What should I do? Frown




Hey babe! That's so awesome for her! Just tell her how you feel and think about what she must be going through! She's probably so scared. Just tell her that you know she's awesome and going to be so successful and that you'll always be there for her and hope you guys will stay besties despite all these amazing changes! It's possible! Just keep contact! She's going to need as many true friends as she can get! Good luck!
Jess W.

by Rosalie1996 on 6/17/2011 5:00:44 PM

 
 

You're such a beautiful friend to be helping her out like that. You may not realize it, but she REALLY appreciates you doing that for her...she just may not being showing it. But its still amazing that your helping her through probably two of the biggest things that are going to happen in her life. Stay strong for your friend and be patient Smile patience is the key Smile

by NaTuRe ChIcK on 6/2/2011 7:52:40 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
My BFF is in Germany for three weeks and even though I only met her this year we've grown super close. I'm super sad that we are gonna be apart for three weeks and I need a pick-me-up! Her cell phone doesn't work in Germany so we can only talk through email chat or email- which is hard because she's 7 hours ahead of me! Any ideas on what I can do to stay busy while she's gone?




Helen S.

by aurorawriter on 5/27/2011 5:19:30 PM

 
 

mod mod mod
what is an abortion and what does it mean? i am so clueless on this stuff!




Hey girlie. An abortion is when a girl gets a procedure done when she's pregnant to make her not pregnant.  
Marly Z.

by koolkat21 on 5/4/2011 7:48:08 PM

 
 

MOD*MOD*MOD*MOD*MOD*MOD* ok, so for the foreign language fair at my school im going to do irish step dancing for my topic. My friend told me she was going to do italian food and fashion, so I told her I was doing Irish step dancing. No one else thought about doing dancing, so my teacher asked me if I wanted to demonstrate irish step dancing when i present my project, so im thinking about doing that. And now all of a sudden my friend is doing the excact same thing as me, except Italian dances! shes also going to demonstrate the dance for the class, even though the teacher didnt ask her to. I wanted to b the only one doing dance so my topic would stand out, then i could have a chance of winning the foreign language fair and that looks good on high school application. i know my friend got her topic from me, even though she claims she didnt. how can i tell her nicely that she copied me and i dont want her to do the same thing as me? please HELP! sorry so long.

 

 

Hey girly girl! Irish dancing is so cool! You should definately still do it. It's a lot more fun and exciting than lots of other dance forms. Maybe, go all out and put together a costume to make it stand out! And, make the class get up and dance too Smile

xxx

Becca G.

by ckse820 on 5/1/2011 5:29:39 PM

 
 

That's horrible! You're an amazing friend though! Try to avoid talking about what happened to her. They're terrible events, that sure must've hurt- TONS. I am still confused about why her parents would kick her out of the house. It surely wasn't her fault she got raped! Are you close to her parents? If you are, maybe try to talk to them, and if that's too scary or going over board, just talk with your parents to see what you guys can do. I hope your friend feels better soon!

by forever&always_143 on 5/1/2011 2:45:18 PM

 
 

Wow, that's so horrible! You are being an amazing friend, just being there and reinforcing the fact that you are always there to lend a hand is great. I'm so sorry for her.

by worldlvr on 4/29/2011 9:31:57 PM

 
 

Friends are even better than parents sometimes, for sure. I am sorry that she is going through this. Your an amazing friend

by happynotsmiling on 4/23/2011 8:53:55 PM

 
 

Wow. THis is a really hard time for your friend. Try not to talk about her experience, and try more to have fun! Thnk about the positives and maybe she'll cheer up for a little bit!but rememberto tell her you care about her.

by biebergurl17 on 4/23/2011 1:29:09 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD ok so my best friend is a guy and no one knows he's my best friend cause it's a secret and I kinda like this guy he is sooooooo sweet and texts me everyday but the problem is he has a girlfriend and he went out with one of my best friends and she was heart broken I just wanna get over him I've tried so hard to but I can't I know he is a player also and I just need help




Hey girlie -- check out this section on getting over a crush: http://www.girlslife.com/category/splitsville.aspx 




Brittany G. 
Brittany G.

by lovemybff on 4/22/2011 6:31:37 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD ok so my best friend is a guy and no one knows he's my best friend cause it's a secret and I kinda like this guy he is sooooooo sweet and texts me everyday but the problem is he has a girlfriend and he went out with one of my best friends and she was heart broken I just wanna get over him I've tried so hard to but I can't I know he is a player also and I just need help





Helen S.

by lovemybff on 4/22/2011 6:31:02 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD ok so my best friend is a guy and no one knows he's my best friend cause it's a secret and I kinda like this guy he is sooooooo sweet and texts me everyday but the problem is he has a girlfriend and he went out with one of my best friends and she was heart broken I just wanna get over him I've tried so hard to but I can't I know he is a player also and I just need help





Helen S.

by lovemybff on 4/22/2011 6:30:12 PM

 
 

OMG. I am so sorry. You are a true friend to take her in. Just let her know you're there. Best of luck to you both. You should try having your parents talk to her parents.

by soccerlover99 on 4/16/2011 2:41:59 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
Alright, so it's been about 4 years now since I moved to a total other state, but now that I have all my old friends on facebook and I see/hear about them a lot more often, it's making me really sad, like what if I was down there with them, and how much different my life would be. Any ideas on how I can cope?

 

 

 Just tell yourself that if you were with them you wouldn't be getting to experience everything you are right now. remind yourself what you like about your new home and it'll help Smile

Helen S.

by choc_o_holic on 4/16/2011 2:01:13 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!!
I need this answered right now... my best-friend is having family problems and he's really sad. He tells me that his soon to be step-dad is an alcoholic so now he and his mom have to move in with his Aunt. He's crying and he's soo sad. I don't know what to tell him! I want to go over there and hug him, but I can't drive. Please just give some advice or pep-talk.

 

Tell him that you're here for him when ever he wants to talk or needs some help. That's the best way to be a good friend to him right now. good luck!

Helen S.

by designermc98 on 4/16/2011 1:47:48 AM

 
 

MODMODMOD
How can you post a question to the mod and be able to see the response without anyone else being able to see it???
Thanks




Hey girlie. Just tell the MOD in the question that you don't want them to post the question. 
Marly Z.

by fashiondramamusic on 4/13/2011 8:46:18 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD
Hi! How much is too much for talking to a teacher about friend stuff. Its not bullying but it is pretty weird and tricky. Thanks so much, sorry to bother you!!
<3 <3




Hey girlie. You can never talk to a teacher too much. Wait until the issue gets resolved or you feel better about it.  
Marly Z.

by fashiondramamusic on 4/13/2011 8:10:10 PM

 
 

My god! she was raped and got pregnant! What kind of parents are they?! That's so wrong! Let your friend know that girls everyone who know her story are here for herSmile

by moxie4evr on 4/8/2011 11:47:23 PM

 
 

Wow that's completely unfair! Her parents should really be helping her out and being especially nice to her considering she got RAPED. And what could she have possibly done to stop this from happening? Nothing. It's not her fault she got pregnant. I think that's SO great and generous of you to let her live with you. I feel so bad for your friend she must feel awful with her parents kicking her out and her getting raped.

by girlsliferocksss98 on 4/6/2011 9:32:08 PM

 
 

Wow that's completely unfair! Her parents should really be helping her out and being especially nice to her considering she got RAPED. And what could she have possibly done to stop this from happening? Nothing. It's not her fault she got pregnant. I think that's SO great and generous of you to let her live with you. I feel so bad for your friend she must feel awful with her parents kicking her out and her getting raped.

by girlsliferocksss98 on 4/6/2011 9:30:11 PM

 
 



mod mod mod I want to be popular, yes I know that's not everything, but that is what I want right now. In order to be popular I have learned that I need guy friends. There's just one tiny problem, every guy I have ever liked ignores me now. How can I make guy friends without flirting and beyond talking about sports?
Thanks,
A.L.




Hey A.L.,

You've got the right idea - scope out the guys for their friendship possibilities, not their hotness or BF-potential! Try a new club or sport in order to meet new guys (or chat with your girl friends and get them to introduce you). Remember that guys work a little differently than girls - being their friend doesn't mean texting all the time, hanging out and talking about dating, etc. You will probably have to talk about sports and their fave music/movies, but if you find great guys that share your interests/personality, it won't feel like work Smile Just keep trying and remember to be laid-back! 
Lauren C.

by pandagirl12 on 4/4/2011 9:37:41 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
My feelings are hurt soooo bad right now. I was calling my BGF. He diddnt know he answered and he was talking to someone about me. He was saying "I tried that. No, she wont stop. Anna. Anna (last name). I know. its annoying." I know he was talking about me calling him. I hung up. I admit, I call him about once every 2 days but he never seemed to mind.. And whats worse is it would take alot for him to get even a little upset so hearing that really is crushing me. I barely have any friends. Frown I really want to cry. All I want is to have a bestfriend and some friends. I want to go under my bed and never come out. What should I do?




Hey girlie. I'm sorry you're feeling down. People can say pretty hurtful things. I would just back off for awhile and not call him. Once he realizes that he actually likes you calling, he will probably start calling you more. Wait for him to call though and in the meantime, hang with your bf. Also, it's natural not to have a ton of friends. It's important to have a few really close friends who will be there for you- and that seems to be what you have! 
Marly Z.

by loveforever21 on 4/4/2011 4:21:21 PM

 
 

Mod mod!! I'm tired of being shy and I wanna be more outgoing I'm friends with a lot of ppl from my field hockey team and I used to be pretty close to them but I'm not as close to them since it's been a while since I saw them but I'm kinda shy around them sometimes..what can I do to overcome my shyness?

 

Hey girlie! Confidence is key! Don't focus on your shyness--otherwise it will be in the forefront of your mind and will distract you from your goal. You should reconnect with your friends from field hockey. Check out this article on how to be more confident:

 

Brittany G.



Brittany G.

by twilightgrrl678 on 4/2/2011 7:38:52 AM

 
 



MODDD! ok so theirs this person i used to be friends with and we got in a fight like a HUGE fight that involed police. now shes stealing my friends and alienating me from my friends on the internet and in real life i feel alone and i make youtube videos and now shes stealing the things from my channel and dislikes all my videos 5 times so hers are better. if i tell on her she'll find a way to get around it and get me spespened im so counfused PLEASE help me.




Hey girlie! You should talk to an administrator of authoritative figure in your school--bullying is a big problem and that's exactly what she's doing.




Brittany G. 
Brittany G.

by parapanic on 4/1/2011 11:03:26 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MODM OD!
None of my comments have been posting...like...all winter!

 

Hey! well this one got posted Smile

Helen S.

by kirklin22 on 4/1/2011 6:08:26 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
At school my bff told me a HUGE secret.This morning her stomach hurt way bad and her mom thinks she might be pregnant,her sis thinks its just cramps but she has a dr appointment tomorrow and the only thing that is disturbing is that she is bareley 12! She has a bf but they haven't had sex and she is still a virgin (we hope). But what if she IS pregnant? Her bf knows about this and our closest friends but he is totally freaked out since they haven't had sex and he said that he isn't gonna help raise it. What do you think it is? Her mom thinks she is pregnant because she was sick and her stomach hurt really bad when she was pregnant with her oldest sis. If she is what should we do because if the school finds out she will be bullied constantly calling her horrible names because she has a kid or is pregnant.




Hey girlie. Chances are she's not pregnant. If she hasn't had sex, there's no possible way she could be pregnant. Before worrying too much, wait until after the appointment.  
Marly Z.

by Randafanna2 on 3/30/2011 6:04:42 PM

 
 

mod mod mod I like this guy and I kinda told my friend and she said "Look you like (other guy) I like (guy) that's how it is" She can't stop that I like both of them. What can I do? (Thank you for solving my friend problem)

Bonjour chicky! Just ignore her comments and eventually she'll get tired of saying them and leave the situation alone

Jessica W.

by pandagirl12 on 3/29/2011 10:39:16 AM

 
 

Kerra
what you dont understand is that talking to her is what is causing problems, talking to anyone keeps causing problems. is their anything else i can do?

by mlev101 on 3/29/2011 10:38:26 AM

 
 

mod mod mod I need help and really fast. One of my friends and I are in a fight. It's through email sort of. I'm starting to question whether she is actually my friend or not. She keeps calling me a loser and a wannabe. I can't help but to fight back, I want this resolved but I want to prove I have power. I am so confused.......... please please please help.

Bonjour chicky! Ok, I know this is going to sound corny but you show the strongest power by just walking away. Don't give into her little tantrums and when she finds out that her little outbursts aren't going to be given any attention, she'll eventually come to her senses. When you argue back with her, your just adding to the fuel of the feud and validating her hurtful remarks. I think in your next email you should just say "Look, I'm done with your childish arguing and when you are willing to talk like an adult, you know where to find me." After that, you just ignore all her emails, texts, facebook messages, etc, until she has apologized and is using her big-girl voice. If this never happens, and be happy that you were able to get rid of such an immature and bad friend so easily

Jessica W.

by pandagirl12 on 3/29/2011 10:12:38 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD !!! My best friend is always busy. Her my mom makes her do ballet and she hates it and her ankles hurt but she says doesnt have a choice and mom never listens to her. She has a huge family and is always going places . She never can get her homework done and gets really bad grades. I want help but what do I do?

 

 

Hey girly girl! Maybe, you could help your friend out by studying with her for tests, and helping her with homework. As for her parents though, she's the one who will have to talk to them. There's not much you can do.

xxx

Becca G.

by Superlily99 on 3/27/2011 8:14:04 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!
My bff had sex with her boyfriend, like three times. She also gave him a blow job, n she said they have done everything. She's 14 and hasn't even known him a year. She says she has it under control, but they did it twice in one day when her parents didn't know her bf was over at her house. They say they used condoms that she got from her friend AT SCHOOL!!! But idk what to think about it all, n I wanna tell her parents but I don't want to lose a bff. Should I tell her Parents? How would I do That? And how do I really tell her how I feel, because this REALLY bothers me. I even considered not being her friend anymore because of what she did with her bf. This sounds rlly bad, but I just don't want her to get hurt. HELP!!!!!!! IDK WHAT TO TELL HER!!!!!




You shouldnt tell her parents. Its her business what she does with her boyfriend and telling her parents wont fix anything. Shes sjut going o continue to do it all. Honestly theres not a whole lot you can do here. Its your friends body. I suggest you just make sure she's being safe with the condoms etc. Also you could sit her down and tell her how you feel about the whole thing just so she knows. Good luck! xoxo kerra
Kerra S.

by kassanator on 3/27/2011 3:15:59 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD
I lost my older brother back in october of 2010 on the 24th. my friends were supportive of me when i was in shock, but now that it is really hitting me and hurting me, because of another death ( my uncle shot himself) , they are not supportive and some are being downright mean. One of my friends hates me now because "i complain about stupid stuff at lunch" i have gotten in fights with a boy in my class that i go to lunch with because i skip a class to talk to my guidance counselor. I have no clue what to do anymore. it has gotten to were i have had to leave school because i am breaking down or getting sick. By the way this girl is comparing my losing my brother to her loosing her aunt a few years ago. a lot of people think i should be over it by now. im scared, confused, and downright sick of all of this. I need help. its gotten to were i almost decided to cut myself.




I think you need to keep talking to your guidance counselor. Tell her what these kids are doing and saying. She'll be able to talk some sense into these kids and help you. Theyre being unfair and your guidance counselor should help you with it. Good luck hon! keep staying strong <3 xoxo kerra 
Kerra S.

by mlev101 on 3/27/2011 2:11:02 PM

 
 

mod mod mod theres a new guy at school but i dont know what to say to him, im not really good at talkn to ppl, so what do i do

 

Hey girlie, Ask about school or an activity or you can just say hi

Paige T.

by suckerpunch on 3/26/2011 9:46:40 AM

 
 

Her parents kicked her out of the house for getting raped???????!!! so much for the right to choose. i am pro-life in most circumstances, but rape is an exception. so is the safety of the mother

by actress2b_<3 on 3/22/2011 6:32:09 PM

 
 



mod MOd mod MOD MOD MOD. OK so my friend and her old bf broke up months ago and since then me and her ex have gotton really close and recently decided to try 2 go out. So how do i tell my friend im going out with her ex?! I have no idea and am scared to tell her. please help!




Hey girlie,

You should talk to your friend first before going with with her ex.  Maybe there is a reason they broke up that you should be aware of--or maybe she may not feel okay about it.  Talk to her and be considerate about how she feels too!
Ruth S.

by lonegull on 3/19/2011 10:44:30 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
so the problem is that i have this really awesome friend. i tell her everything and she understands like everything that i say. so in the end - i feel like she is the perfect best friend. but whenever i try to talk to her , it almost seems like i can only talk to her if its a secret or something. i try to talk to her maybe about normal stuff but then at that point im not an interest to her anymore. and also - although she feels like a best friend to me - she is like a best friend to everybody. so when i ask her about stuff or tell her secrets, i feel like i'm telling her everything about me but she isn't telling me everything. i've already asked her about it and she said that we're on the same road - i tell her everything and ditto. but it just doesn't feel like it.




Hey girlie. That could just be part of her personality. She might not seem as open as you, but that could just be who she is. If she's a good friend to you, then continue your friendship with her. Good luck. 
Marly Z.

by mellirificlove on 3/16/2011 7:52:37 PM

 
 

MOD! MOD!
My bff just told me today that she thinks she's bi. What exactly does 'bi' mean? And what should I do? She hasn't told many people.
Thanks




Hey girlie. That just means that she likes guys and girls. Just let it play out. At a young age, everyone is trying to figure out who they are.  
Marly Z.

by pottergirl135 on 3/14/2011 5:03:42 PM

 
 

wow that is tough
check out my profile i give advice on everything

by hayleyyelyah6 on 3/9/2011 11:49:27 AM

 
 

its her body and she can decide what she does with it, should this girl really have to go through with the pain and stress of child birth? what if she did not get a abortion, and she had the baby and wanted to raise it, her motherly instincts kick in and she raises it. most girls who have a child drop out of school and don't go to college. what her parents did to her was cruel, i mean she's there daughter! parents are supposed to be there for you and trust your decisions about your body and social life, why can't her parents help her throug this tough time? i mean she was sexually abused!
abortion or adoption or raising the child, its all her decision, its her body her life.

by stormysea on 3/5/2011 3:47:30 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD
so the thing is that i have a friend who considers me as her "best friend". the thing i dont want to break to her is that i don't really think of her as my best friend. i have a closer friend to me - so today i was telling that friend about this guy im having a dilemma with. the friend who thinks as me as my best friend overheard and now she wants to know. so now for the past few weeks, she's been pestering me and calling me a bad friend - and how im not telling her stuff - but i just dont think of her that close to me- i mean she tells me everything but i dont want to tell her everything..
what do i do?




Hey girl, just tell her that it's not against her, but you'd just prefer not to talk about it right now, but as soon as you're ready too, you'll tell her. Try to make it more of a personal issue than one that's against her.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by mellirificlove on 3/4/2011 12:09:23 AM

 
 

Dear BFF trauma: How can I help her?,
I feel so bad for your friend that was raped! She needs to talk to her parent calmly. Make sure that she doesn't say that she had "it", but that she was raped. I hope she does not do abortion because I bet the baby will bring her a lot of joy. And if she feels unloved then she will feel loved. A baby is a wonderful person to have so tell her not to get rid of the baby because she has not met the baby and i know that she will not regret it. Make sure that you and your bestie stay away from the jerk who did all of this. And one more question,-Did you or your bestie contact the police or any athority? Please tell me what happened to both of you as soon as posible. God Bless you both, and make sure you pray to God about all of this.
Thank you and God Bless,
Junebug99

by junebug99 on 3/2/2011 3:57:46 PM

 
 

MODMOD!
My exfriend is super super goth has pink hair and a boyfriend shes 12 but theyve made out and says she wants him to !?@$ When i asked what she meant she gave me a description now im scarred for life. Also her ringtone and favorite songs say every bad word in the book. She even drank beer once. I hate her now but i am worried about my self. I have things swirling in my mind dat ill never forget help me

 

I can only imagine how tough things are for you. Because we wish you only the best, it’ s

extremely important that you speak to a trusted adult, such as a family member, doctor,



guidance counselor, teacher, etc. ♥, Your Blog Patrol Babes



Also, for additional help, check out: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!

2.aspx

Helen S.

by Peacelovedisneyworld123 on 2/26/2011 4:44:47 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
I think I might be Bi Sexual. I've liked guys since forever, but I met this one girl named Cece who I think is really pretty. It felt sort of like I had a crush on her, but I did have a boyfriend that I've kissed. I haven't told anyone and I'm planning not to. Am I Bi? Please help!
~Phoebe

Bonjour chicky! If your earliest memories are of liking guys then you are probably straight. This girl Cece is most likely a girl crush which all girls have from time to time where they think another girl is really attractive (just look at Katy Perry's song "I Kissed A Girl.") I know I've had a few girl crushes from time to time but it's never gone further than that.

Jessica W.

by JBfan97 on 2/21/2011 1:15:41 AM

 
 

MOD!MOD!MOD!so my friend told me that a girl from our pe class told her that i am a lesbian. im not a lesbian. ive sent the girl various text messages saying that im not a lesbian but shes never answered me. i dont want her to start spreading rumors at school about something that isnt true. What should i do?!!?????!!!

 

 

Hey girly girl! I would confront this girl in person and tell her that it's not cool that she's spreading lies about you. Make sure to confront her when no one else is around, so that she can't avoid you. And, also ask her why she's spreading lies? If you ask her flat out, she'll have to answer.

xxx

Becca G.

by emzimrol on 2/20/2011 5:46:24 PM

 
 

mod mod mod please answer within the next 20 minutes! there are these girls named Sarah and Kathryne. They dislike almost everyone on our team (were separated into teams at my school) for no reason! The thing is, I am friends with everyone and I am always pretend to be happy even if im not cause being sad doesnt get you anywhere. So they take EVERTYHING personally and talk really nasty. I asked Sarah what the weight limit was to be overweight cause i was gunna compare myself to it and she thought i was calling her fat! They can be really mean and over dramatic, too! I decided I would sit with some of my other friends today at lunch cause they are waaay nicer. So now they are sooooooo mad at me and I dont even want them as a friend cause they cause too much drama! They think i try to be popular because I have alot of friends. I just dont know what to say or do to not be friends with them! Im sorry this is so long but im tired of all the drama. what should I do?!

 

 

Hey chickadee! These girls sound like drama, drama, drama. I wouldn't lose any sleep over them. It sounds like you have plenty of other, better friends to hang with, and that's wonderful! Be nice to these girls, but don't go out of your way to make plans with them or anything. It sounds like they'll only bring you down.

xxx

Becca G.

by loveforever21 on 2/17/2011 8:52:52 PM

 
 

God bless you and your friend. How horrible, to get forced into something absolutely terrifying and uncontrollable, then get pregnant, and then have your parents kick you out. I am sure that your friend thought that by giving birth to this baby would only put the baby into a terrible life, and for that reason, I respect her decision of abortion. You are an absolutely wonderful friend. I hope you and your friend get through this okay. You a a great friend and just keep being that wonderful person and staying by your friend's side to support her. God bless you both.

by chocolover9257 on 2/16/2011 7:55:37 PM

 
 

MODMODMODMODMOD!
Okay what on earth is abortion? I am like totally clueless on this stuff. Help me! And btw, this is soooooo sad! I cannot believe her parents! Actually, would that be considered abuse?




Hey girl, I don't believe that's abuse as much as disownment. As for abortion, it's the termination of a pregnancy by dictionary definition. 

xoxo
Alyssa B.

by koolkat21 on 2/15/2011 9:42:06 PM

 
 

That's soo...just not right. They shouldn't throw her out for something she tried to stop, something she didn't want to happen! It's not fair that her parents don't understand and they really should. I'm happy you there for her and i think you are going to take really good care of her. i hope for the best for both of you Smile take care. <3

by jonasbrothergirl63 on 2/14/2011 9:55:14 PM

 
 



MODMODMOD!!I really want a boyfriend but I'm way to afraid to ask. My friends and i were at the dance asking out these boys in this one group, some of [there's like 10] them said no to my friends. I was still too afraid. I asked a boy in that group a while ago and he said no. With my girls if 1 boy goes around asking out everyone and then his friends do we forget them, r boys the same way? I heard all of them get together talking about us and wondering who we were going to ask out next. But i really want a boyfriend, from that group. Another problem is some of us and the boys r kinda friends so its weird to ask out your guy friends friend!HELP!




Hey girl,

Don't just ask a boy to be your BF because he's in a certain friends group! If he's some random guy, he probably won't say yes because you're a random girl asking him out...and if he did, he probably wouldn't be all that fun. Instead, set your sights on ONE guy you actually like - someone who's cute, smart, funny, whatever you are looking for. Flirt a little, get to know him better, and then you can think about asking him to be your BF Smile 
Lauren C.

by moosempepper on 2/14/2011 3:57:39 PM

 
 

I'm so sorry about her! She should not get an abortion though! And her parents kicking her out for getting raped! Thats crazy I hope she makes the right decision in NOT getting an abortion cuz she'll regret it. You're a very good friend for helping her

by rememberyouarebeautifultome on 2/12/2011 11:57:07 AM

 
 

honestly, i dont like abortion, but i think that she needed it. She might have died if she had the child, and her parents are ungratful that their own daughter sufferd through so much,and it isnt anybodys fault they got raped, i hope her parents understand. i sound like a snob but im a republican, and abortion is killing an unborn child, but she needed it. i am diffrent from others, and i hope her life works better.

by Alex924 on 2/12/2011 12:16:50 AM

 
 

OMG!!!!!!! THAT S SOOOOOOOO SAD AND ALL OF YOU PEOPLE BEING MAD AT HER HAVING AN ABORTION, IT IS NOT YOUR RIGHT TO DO SO. MAYBE YOU HAVE YOUR OPINIONS BUT ALMOST MOST OF YOU HAVE NOT BEEN IN THE SITUATION. IT WAS HER CHOICE AND SO LAY OFF OF HER CHOICE!!!!!! ITS NOT FAIR!!!

by kindlegirl3232 on 2/11/2011 12:17:12 PM

 
 

OMG,finally someone who understands!Tell your bestie I feel for her,because III was raped,too! Frown
I was 13...I got pregnant,too..and my parents are just like hers,they said it was my fault I got raped!I had to live with my friend,also.Me and her are SO alike...
Although rape is a wrong,terrible thing. Frown I wish I had never gone through it.I am 15 now,but I put my baby up for adoption.Now I want her back...just knowing my child is out there somewhere with people I don't know makes me sick...even though her father is a COMPLETE STRANGER.I want her. Frown
But I am just a teen,my mother said I am better off without her...but I hate my parents so much,I decided to live with my friend still..so I still do!
Oh my gosh,I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS!!I know lots of teens get raped,but I didn't think many had babies,put them up for adoption,and their parents kicked them out!

by Shishiluv15 on 2/10/2011 2:56:41 PM

 
 

*MODMODMOD*
In public, I seem like a really happy, ditzy person! but in private, I'm actually a totally different person. I've had a rough past, and it effects me. I try to act like a happy, perfect person for friends and boys, but its not really ME! I don't want to tell any of my friends or boys, because I'm afraid that they won't care and just leave me.
I'm tired of acting like an "always happy" person around friends and boys, but I don't want to tell them.
What do you think I should do?

 

Hey chica! I'm so sorry that you've been through a lot. You definitely shouldn't have to act like someone you're not! You don't want to put a damper on anyone's mood, but when you need someone to talk to, let your friends know! Try being more open with them about the things you've been through and the sadness you feel. They'll be happy to help in any way they can.

Clare W.

by missymatters on 2/10/2011 12:53:43 PM

 
 

Yea abortian was HER dissaion, i personally dont agree with it because it is murdering and child, but if that happend to me i would think about it but i probley would have kept the child..... but that is me. that was wrong on her parents part, its not her fault she was raped and got pregnet. parents like hers should not be able to have custody of their children if they kick them out for something she didnt want let alone do

by platinumchick2 on 2/9/2011 2:50:31 PM

 
 

Rape is wrong and is aborthiaon, but it is her choice, but if anyone is thinking of abortion, it is like murder to an unborn.

by platinumchick2 on 2/9/2011 2:46:10 PM

 
 

woah. I just read the comments below...It's unbelievable what some of the people are saying. Who cares if she chose aborition! It's her choice. Would you like to push a ten pound baby out of you, which cannot be supported correctly? And, adoption is highly unlikely if you're adopted into a good family. Lay off.

by NOWHEAT on 2/9/2011 2:26:03 PM

 
 

Oh my God! How horrible is that? Poor girl! You're a fantastic friend....her parents should be so ASHAMED (as someone below said). And, good for her for choosing aborition. No teen should go through raising a child!

by NOWHEAT on 2/9/2011 2:18:28 PM

 
 

Her parents should be ASHAMED.

by lipsmackers789 on 2/9/2011 1:25:39 PM

 
 

I agree with balloonluvr, I agree rape is horrible, but abortion isn't the way to go. She is in no way a bad person for having an abortion, I just don't think the baby should be punished for what the father did.

by jayhawk94 on 2/9/2011 12:19:36 PM

 
 

Even though it is rape and that is not right, abortion is not the way to go.

by balloonluvr on 2/9/2011 11:19:20 AM

 
 

omg dude. that's gotta suck like crazy hope it works out just don't tell her that u know how she feels cuz the truth is... u probably don't

by duckerz23 on 2/9/2011 10:39:43 AM

 
 

ur friend's parents r truly & officially THE WORST 2 people this world will eva c. they kicked her out instead of helping her?! i thought parents were supposed 2 luv u, not kick u out bcuz ur not ready 2 have a kid at that age. that is disrespectful 2 her & God

by dorali411 on 2/9/2011 7:30:44 AM

 
 

Wow, thats awful. her parents kicked her out cuz she got rapped, which got her pregnant, and doesnt want to have a baby that young? I feel so sorry for her. I wish her the best of luck.
~Maddie

by skatetime on 2/9/2011 12:02:49 AM

 
 

You are THE BESTEST FRIEND EVERRR!!!
Thats soo stupid that her parents would just kick her out like that. It was very nice and thoughtful of you and your family to take her in like that!!
Plus her parents shouldnt be THAT mad over it. It wasn't her fault she got raped. She didnt want it anyway. As for abortion? That was HER decision because she wasn't ready for a baby of her OWN.
Keep comforting her and things will get better. It will help her just knowing there IS a family out there that loves her and cares for her. Especially when her very own family doesn't.
Best Wishes Smile <3

by goldfish123 on 2/8/2011 11:23:57 PM

 
 

OMG! That is terrible! You're probably the greatest friend ever! I hope things get better and normally I'm against abortion but this is an exception. Hopefully things get better for her and she patches things up with her parents. Hang in there, the both of you

by Snermis on 2/8/2011 9:34:49 PM

 
 

And one other comment, what kind of parents would kick her out for that and especially after what she has gone through. She needs them and that is just plain wrong and unacceptable to me. You are being a great friend and she needs you.

by luckykel on 2/8/2011 9:19:01 PM

 
 

You are the greatest friend ever for being ther for your firend in her tone of need. I cannot belive her parents would kick her out for something she really had no control over

by catlover26 on 2/8/2011 9:06:29 PM

 
 

I am so sorry! I can't imagine what you and your friend are going through! I really hope you guys work things out with her parents. You and your friend will be in my prayers! I hope things get better soonSmile

by blrbeagle on 2/8/2011 8:27:13 PM

 
 

i am so sorry that happened! that's terrible but that's really nice of you to be there for here when her own parent's weren't to cheer her up you should try to re live the best moments of your friendship and let her no your alway's going to be there for her unlike her parent's Frown your a great friend and she'll get through knowing there's an entire family that loves her especially when her own family doesn't Smile

by mckey101 on 2/8/2011 8:20:50 PM

 
 

actually it's three tramatic events...

by skatingsarah96 on 2/8/2011 8:13:26 PM

 
 

Hey, maybe even showing her all of the positive comments written here might perk her up a bit. My mind set is for abortion, if it's wanted. And think it's ultimately it's that person's choice...just keep being the best friend you are being towards her, and just think positive.

by svds on 2/8/2011 7:51:43 PM

 
 

I know abortion is completely wrong, but why should the poor girl have to raise a child at such a young age and not to mention go through birth when she doesn't even have parents to help pay/support the baby. The baby wouldn't have a good family to rely on too. She doesn't deserve anything she's gone through. Frown I feel so bad for her! That's terrible!

by forever12 on 2/8/2011 7:41:56 PM

 
 

Modmodmod
how many times can you wear a bra without washing it?And can you get breast cancer from wearing it more than that amount of days?

 

Hey girlie. No you cannot get breast cancer from wearing your bra more than a few days. Honestly, I wash my bras once a week! Don't feel like you have to wash them every day.

Elizabeth P.

by EgirlH.97 on 2/8/2011 7:08:21 PM

 
 

to all u people saying abortion is wrong i agree but she is a young girl and doesnt know what to do. it wasn't fair to her what happened and i bet she wishes it didnt. she's not prepared to raise a baby and no young girl really is. i feel so bad for you and i bet u will grow up to be a fantastic womem! Smile

by audreyforever on 2/8/2011 6:52:54 PM

 
 

Poor girl!!! I say abortion is okay is situations like these (not that she was a teen if it was just that it would be wrong and selfish of her, but since it was a rape child...), her parents should have been less narrow minded.

by kalikat on 2/8/2011 6:51:38 PM

 
 

Oh my goodness! I am so sorry, about your friend. I wish her well and hope she's okay. Bless you for being there for her in her time of need!

by GothGirl26 on 2/8/2011 6:36:31 PM

 
 

For those of you saying abortion is wrong, I think she had the right to get an abortion. She was raped so it wasn't her fault at all that's she's pregnant. It's entirely different than a girl who had sex with her BF and got pregnant and wanted an abortion.

Anyway, your friend is lucky to have you in her life. I wish you and your best friend the best.

PS. Sorry that this comment was so long.

by NerdyCat on 2/8/2011 6:32:08 PM

 
 

i'm so sorry this happened to your friend! but you sound like an amazing friend, i'm sure she'll get through this with yr help!
~Best wishes,
OrchDork123

by OrchDork123 on 2/8/2011 6:30:09 PM

 
 

Wouldn't her parents be happy she's picking the best option?

by CupCakers3 on 2/8/2011 6:29:20 PM

 
 

im so sorry for what ur going through. at least ur friend cna have u to help her

by artgaldh on 2/8/2011 6:26:56 PM

 
 

That is awful! You and your family are so generous to let her stay with you! And to all of you saying that it is wrong for her to get an abortion, its not up to you to decide. Yeah normally I would say abortion is wrong...if the teenager/kid went and got themselves knocked up because of a wrong decision. But it wasn't her friends fault that she got pregnant, it would be a terrible reminder of what happened if she carried the baby and actually had it. I would support her with her decision too. You are a great friend!

by LuckyDucky14 on 2/8/2011 6:15:42 PM

 
 

That is all so horrible- her parents are terrible people! I mean seriously can they be less sensistive- she got raped AND pregnant, can they go easy on her and NOT kick her out of the house?!!!

by luvlautner1999 on 2/8/2011 6:12:18 PM

 
 

you are a really nice friend for doing that.
her parents really don't care if they kick her out of the house....im glad she has someone like you and your family

by bellsev on 2/8/2011 6:08:35 PM

 
 

i do think abortion is wrong and if u have to choose choose adoptions( two of my cousins are adopted) but i really feel bad for your friend. her parents aparently dont love her unconditionally so you and ur friend will be in my prayers

by laxchik18 on 2/8/2011 6:08:25 PM

 
 

WOw, that stinks as heck for her. Abortion is pretty bad, but in this situation it may be good. I meam, if she had the baby, it would be a permanent reminder of what happened to her...

by miley1573 on 2/8/2011 6:01:55 PM

 
 

im so sad! I Feel terrible for her. but the best thing for her is to get the abortion its the best thing for her to do so then shes not surrounded by cameras. You sound like the kind of person who will laugh instead of cry, and lead instead of follow! HOW DARE HER PARENTS KICK HER OUT! DO THEY THINK SHE WANTED TO BE RAPED? Im so glad you have a family like yours to take her in God bless you and your family.

by drpepperappointment567 on 2/8/2011 6:00:19 PM

 
 

This is just so sad...im not sure what to say! I would get an abortion too, who wants to have a baby at this age? I can't believe she was kicked out of her house JUST because she was raped and didnt want to have a baby. I feel so bad for her just, ughh. I wish I could be there to help her Frown

by Sarra K on 2/8/2011 5:54:11 PM

 
 

HEY!-LAY OFF!!!! while i don't support abortion, it's NOT her fault that she got pregnat! how would you like to have a kid as a teenager?

by twilightgirl/taylorfan on 2/8/2011 5:27:46 PM

 
 

awwe everything will be fine! but you have an awesome friend you got there!

by snk8499 on 2/8/2011 5:20:45 PM

 
 

When it come to rap I believe the mother should get to choose, and the parents should walk with her and how her the options an how to get through it. But in the case that the parents won't help she should really talk to a trusted adult. Poor girl. Well any girl who gets preg unexpectedly Frown

by sammie8920 on 2/8/2011 5:17:39 PM

 
 

That is super sad. I do not support abortion for people "who made a mistake",but I think it is acceptable for rape victoms. It is super terrible for parents to not accept what their daughter did, they did not know how she felt or what she had to do, she probably felt terrible about having the abortion too.

by FunkyMonkey98 on 2/8/2011 5:11:43 PM

 
 

Thanl GOd i never had to go through that but I am feel for rape victims so, like some people advocate for gays or the environment. The most important thing is to help her get through this. You are a good friend

by reretaliation on 2/8/2011 5:05:00 PM

 
 

Wow! Awww.....keep hanging in there! And that is a really nice friend! You go girl! My blessings!

by topchef88 on 2/8/2011 4:55:32 PM

 
 

Wow, anyone would be lucky to have a friend like you♥ Your friend is going through such a difficult time right now and it's too bad her family isn't there to support her like you are.<3

by michipie205 on 2/8/2011 4:45:25 PM

 
 

i TOTALLY agree with leawessome!! abortion is so wrong.

by paigebunny on 2/8/2011 4:44:42 PM

 
 

I'm sooooo sorry! it's a terrible thing to go thru(I haven't personally)
she needs a shoulder to lean on and sounds like you guys are like sisters!
the best thing u can do is be there for her
tell her i am very sorry,
Jessica

by penguin_girl13 on 2/8/2011 4:41:33 PM

 
 

I can't believe her parents would do that!!!! Especially after such a traumatic experience. But abortion is NOT the right thing. Suicide rates for women who have had abortions are much higher. I think deep down they must feel guilty because abortion is murder.

by Sasza on 2/8/2011 4:40:52 PM

 
 

help Ur friend change her mind, i don't like abortion, but maybe she could get someone to talk to...a professional and maybe change her mind to have the child and put the child up for adoption...how old is ur friend?

by lipglossgirl22 on 2/8/2011 4:13:11 PM

 
 

I can't believe they kicked her out. But I don't support abortion.

by Peacelovejesus on 2/8/2011 3:31:39 PM

 
 

I'm so sorry to hear this, just make sure that your friend's parents know that she was raped, and THAT is how she got pregnant, not by anyway else. Also, if the reason they kicked her out is because of her wanting an abortion, she should keep in mind adoption is also another option. You are such a good friend for letting her stay with you, and the advice Girl's Life gave is great, so you may want to listen to that too. Best of Luck to both you, your family, and most importantly, your friend.

by greekgrl419 on 2/8/2011 3:27:01 PM

 
 

This is a wound that won't completely heal for quite awhile, if ever. Be very patient and gentle with her. This is going to be very hard.

My heart goes out to the both of you, and I'll be praying for her.

by Superleigh50 on 2/8/2011 2:39:42 PM

 
 

@ leawessome it's not yours to say if her choice was right or wrong.

by tigermadie on 2/8/2011 2:24:49 PM

 
 

That's not fair! It wasn't her fault! I wish you both the best of luck.

by kelaboo on 2/8/2011 1:41:14 PM

 
 

OMG!!! Her parents kicked her out because she didn't want to have a baby as a kid? That's terrible! D: That's so nice of your family to let her stay. Best of luck.

by caitlovesoreo96 on 2/8/2011 12:24:04 PM

 
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