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Spring clean your friendships

Over time, bad feelings can build up in a friendship just like the pile of clothes collecting on your closet floor…
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MOD MOD MOD!!!
well i had no friends last christmas, i made friends that january and we are really close, well 3 of us... me, and two twins, were are bestfriends. trouble. another girl thinks she is my best friend even though she tells me nothing and uses me to go places.the twins dont like her! another girl thinks she is the twins bestfriend but, trouble is when the twins invite her to their house she doesnt talk to them or anything! she copies them in every way shape and form! its so annoying! and she hates me for taking her bestfriends away! even though they dont talk and if the twins invite me to theirs she invites her self and asks what time. I want to say something to her, because in school she doesnt let me sit/stand near them. it gets akward when im with her. and for my birthday and the twins birthday we dont know what to do or who to invite because of this! i cant cope anymore. what should i do? thanks mod Smile

 

Hey Girl,


This is a sticky situation. In terms of the girl who uses you only to go places, I would decline her requests to go places with you, especially if you recognize that she is doing that. I would also tell her how you feel, and explain that if you two want to be friends, you would like to talk to her and hang out. Next, I would try to make sure that you don't make plans with the twins or talk about upcoming plans in front of this girl. She probably feels left out, which is why she invites herself over. The reason she tries to makes sure you don't stand or sit by the twins is she feels a little left out. To appease her, maybe every so often try including her in some activity. I think the twins should talk to this girl and nicely explain that they don't understand why she is so upset about the three of you hanging out so much, if she doesn't seem to be good friends with them. As for your birthdays coming up, invite who you want, it's your party and you should invite you want. Just make sure to not talk about the parties in front of people who aren't invited.


 

danielle D.

danielle D.

by insideoutkid on 4/22/2011 5:58:04 AM

 
 

MOD! MOD! MOD! MOD! MOD!
Since the beginning of the year, me and this girl have been very good friends. I thought she was nice, but she ditched me for this more popular girl and know she won't even talk to me because her new friend won't let her. Now they just make fun of me and I have no close friends in my homeroom class(I have more friends in other classes). How can I get her to like me again? Should I make some new friends? Thanks~Catlover4723

 

Hey girlie girl!

 Do not waste too much time trying to win this girl over. I wouldn't want to be around people who makes fun of me. Instead, give this girl some space and focus on the friendships you have with your other friends in different classes. If you don't have assigned seating in homeroom, try sitting by some new people in your homeroom. You never know what kind of friendship might develop! If you really want to try to make amends with this girl, try grabbing her when she is by herself and ask to catch up and tell her how disappointed and hurt you felt when she ditched you.


 

danielle D.




danielle D.

by Catlover4723 on 4/21/2011 1:41:13 PM

 
 

MOD,
ok so I have a favorite youtube guru (macbarbie07) and i am extremely jealous of her, like i feel like it's not fair that I don't have her life she has so many clothes and friends and is home school and has an amazing house and is beautiful and lives in california where i want to live. and i have a youtube and i have what, 54 subs? I just don't want to feel like i want her life anymore.




Hey girlie. Everyone has those people that they envy, and that's totally normal. But that's just what you see of her. I'm sure she has her own jealousy issues of others (just like you). After a while, it will get old to you and you'll probably not care as much. Just give yourself some time. 
Marly Z.

by Gigilove321 on 4/18/2011 5:40:34 PM

 
 



MOD
i have been at a school now for 2 years and i am top set in everything. im 10 years old. i have this bff and we are always with eachother. she is starting to really annoy me and i dont like her anymore. i dont want to tell her though because she picks on people and then if i hate her she will bully me. she also makes me go down grades because she always asks me for help when im working and i have to help her or she gets moody. my whole family hate her and now so do i. is there a way of changing her because i want to be her friend because i know she is a nice good girl somewhere inside. also how can i get my family to like her?




hey! well you can't really change people. You have to accept them for who they are. good luck! 
Helen S.

by memechloe on 4/15/2011 6:50:47 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!
So, my friend met this guy on an online chatting site who claims to be a not-so-known-famous person. (Like, just on Youtube.) So, he managed to convince my HUUUUUGE group of friends that it was really him, but now I'm having my doubts. He has a Facebook, but his official page said he only had 1 personal. He might be trying to hide it, but still. I think he's video chatted a few times, but I'm not positive. I'm not sure if they have real proof. So, my friend has talked to him on video chat and stuff. He left one clue on his YouTube page that showed that it might be him, but I'm still not sure. For one thing, I don't want my friend to get hurt- she loves him, and he says that he loves her. For another, if he's not who he says he is...who is he, really? I don't want my friend to be in danger. I can't confront him because I don't know him well enough, I can't tell an adult, and if I confront her she'll say that it's him. Please help!

Bonjour chicky! Sounds like your in tough situation, so just make sure you watch her from the sidelines. Since they're just video chatting, he can't do anything serious with her there but if he starts asking where she lives or wants to meet with her privately, then those are some serious red flags! Make sure she doesn't give any personal information to this guy or meet up with him in a private space. You can be smooth about it like "let's make it a double date" or "don't give him your address - you're coming on too strong." It's also at this point (where she's thinking of meeting him privately) that you'll HAVE to tell an adult for we so many scary stories of girls not coming back after meeting up with these guys online. For more helpful tips check out our website: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2010/03/02/cyberspace-safety.aspx

Jessica W.

by FashionGurlie on 4/14/2011 2:11:08 AM

 
 

MOD,
My friend and I got into a big fight because she is getting her nose and belly button pierced! I told her to wait until she was older but she thought I was trying to control her! How do I get my friend back?!




Hey girlie. Just go talk to her. Tell her that you weren't trying to control her and that you care about her which is why you were concerned. And give her a little time. She will get past it. 
Marly Z.

by dragonbee on 4/11/2011 4:05:15 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD
Can you post questions for mods that everyone else can't see??
Thanks <3 <3

 

 

Hey chica! If you want, you can specify in your question that you don't want everyone else to see it, and ask the MOD to delete your question when they answer Smile

xxx

Becca G.

by fashiondramamusic on 4/10/2011 10:06:25 PM

 
 



Dear MOD, I have a bit of a problem. My best friend who I have known since kindergarten (we are now freshman in highschool) only cares about her boyfriend. It's all she talks about. I thought it would wear off and it was just the shock of having a boyfriend but they have been dating for two years! He is really possesive and needy, which makes me worry for her. She isnt allowed to really talk to other guys or anything and he gets mad when we spend time together. But its not just him. She is always worried about him.. what he will think, say, etc. All her facebook updates are about him and they walk to EVERY class together. She could care less about me anymore. I just want my best friend back. I have tried to tell her I wish she would worry a little less about him but she doesnt think its a problem. She thinks he is just the greatest, which its obviously not. Shes talking about marrying him and such. Even when we have to do projects for school she will say "im going with joe sorry" help!




Hey girlie,

I'm sure it's hurtful when you feel like you've lost your friend! My first advice is obviously try to talk to her and tell her how the whole situation makes you feel.  A true friend will listen and try to change her ways so that she can be a supportive friend to you.  If she doesn't listen, then find other friends to hang out with too...you can still be friends with her, but I'm sure you can have tons of fun with many other girls who can be a genuine friend to you!
Ruth S.

by bvameli145 on 4/9/2011 9:49:28 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!
So,my friend and I were on the phone and I told her I'd call her back in 5 minutes.5 minutes later I called her back and she told me she "had" to go do something.I know for a fact she didn't "have" to,she just said that so it seemed like she did,she wanted to.I kindly said,"Well you told me when I said I'd call you back in 5 minutes that it was okay and you'd be waiting.".She said that never happened,and it did.I told her how I've been sick all day and that I need a friend,but she said she didn't care.I also mentioned that when she calls me and I want to hang up I always stay on,she said she didn't care.I know she didn't mean those things but they still hurt.I still want to be her BBFL,(Best Buddy For Life)but I want her to know how I feel and say sorry,and mean it.She's sensitive,and really sweet,how do I tell her?




Hey girlie,

Just be honest and tell her that you were hurt because you needed her at the moment and she wasn't there for you.  A true friend will want to be there for you when you need her and she'll try her best to.  Let her know you value your friendship with her and you would love it if you could both be there for each other.
Ruth S.

by MadMaddie911 on 4/2/2011 9:30:02 PM

 
 

I agree with that, dont let some things go unsaid because they eventually come back to cause problems. One of my close friends was upset I said something about her and it was taken all wrong and it bothered her for months and she didnt say anything until one day and then just went off. I thought she lost it but now all is good, you just have to talk, so I agree with the advice.

by luckykel on 3/30/2011 9:29:27 PM

 
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