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Spring clean your friendships

Over time, bad feelings can build up in a friendship just like the pile of clothes collecting on your closet floor…
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MOD MOD MOD!
What does MOD mean????


Hey! Mod is short for Moderator and that's my job, to moderate and check all the comments on the site to keep it safe and fun for you guys Smile If you have a question about anything or need advice start your comment with "mod mod mod" and one of the moderators on duty will get back to you as soon as she can. thanks for the question! 


Helen S.

by rue_prim13 on 3/30/2012 5:49:10 PM

 
 



Mod Mod Mod Mod
I really need help. I was friends with a girl since 5th grade. She has always been kind of mean (she used to physically hurt me) and she made me feel bad. I found some new friends that are nice and make me feel good but I feel bad about ditching her because her mom just left for 6 months to go to rehab. What should I do?
My other problem is that my best friend (a different girl) that I have known my whole life has just started ignoring me. She knew it was my birthday and she didn't even talk to me. It hurt my feelings. I haven't been mean to her at all. How can I get my relationship back to the way it was?

 

Hey! just talk to your mean-ish friend about the way things are between you guys. have an honest discussion about why you're growing apart. Invite your best friend over to hang out and re-connect. 


Helen S.

by sgirl26 on 3/16/2012 7:35:44 PM

 
 

MOD
well it all started a while ago when my bff started going out with this guy and hanging with this other girl. She started to be really well, not really mean but she just acted like I didn't exist. I tried to talk to her several times but she kept saying she was busy and that she promised someone she'd hangout with them. After a theater group performance we sorta became closer but now she's going further apart again and I think it's going back to how it was before! help!

 

Hey chica! It's such a sucky feeling to feel distanced from your bff. In your case, it's her that's causing the distance. I would suggest that you explain to her how it's making you feel. Tell her that you are hurt by it and that you miss her. Listen to her reasoning. Give her the benefit of the doubt but tell her that you want to feel close to her and talk to her everyday. If she really is your bff, she'd understand and start to make changes. See what happens; if the outcome is not in your favor, you can't force a friendship. 


 
Amalia E.

by watevz98 on 10/10/2011 3:41:33 AM

 
 

What Does MOD mean??????????????????????????????????

by punkydoodle01 on 5/24/2011 8:52:07 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
K so my best friend and I used to sit at this table at lunch and I was included but she kinda wasn't so one day I blew up and freaked out at one girl who was being really mean and we eventually moved tables... Now she barely talks to me and I keep saying we should hang out but she keeps saying she's busy. I recently asked her to hang out this weekend and she said she was going to the cabin and I just found out she was having a double sleepover with two of the people who sit at our table. I feel so hurt so what do I do?




hey! just talk to your friend and find out why she's mad at you. then you guys can work it out Smile
Helen S.

by Chrysanthymum on 5/20/2011 5:07:49 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!
ok so i have a really big problem. latley my friend is a BIG PAIN! she annoys me all the time about a guy and she just in general is annoying and kinda mean to people. I started to hang out with someone else to let any problems she might be having cool down. BUT NOTHING CHANGED!! she still is so annoying i asked her if anything was wrong and seh said she was fine. Because ofr her attitude she is loosing all her friends and im thinking im done with her i don't want her to annoy me. Please help me!!!! -THANKS Smile




Hey girl, I'd just ignore her for now when she gets annoying. Chances are this behavior thrives off the motivation she wants attention from other people. If she's hurting you or your friends, however, it's time to have a heart-to-heart with her. Ask what's up and let her know her words do have an impact. If she just shrugs you off, distance yourself. You deserve people who will bring you up.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by greekprincess98 on 5/19/2011 9:00:36 PM

 
 



Mod mod mod !!!!!!!
K so I have a group of 10 friends. 2 of these girls getting on everyones nerves, and they have been getting super awkward and say all the wrong things at the wrong time. All the popular girls tell me we could be as cool as them if we just drop them . But we can't just drop them, that would be so mean in so many ways and we dont want to come across as a group of mean girls. Plus one of them is super self conscious so if we tell her how we feel she will feel so sooooo hurt and probably hate us. But if nobody's really likes them anymore , why should we have to pretend?? What should we do?????




You shouldnt base whether you like someone based on how other people feel about them. If you like the girls and get along well with them, you should be their friend. Think about it only from your point of view. Dont hurt someone because of how other people feel about those girls. Thats no fair, and youre right it makes you look mean. xoxo kerra 
Kerra S.

by Dancerox12653 on 5/8/2011 3:09:47 PM

 
 

MOD
okedokie! This will be short and sweet! okay so sometimes i think i'm too clingy with my friends! please help me not be like this!! Smile thanks so much!<3

 

Hey girlie!! It's great that you care about your friends and that you want to spend a lot of time with them, just try to avoid being overly attached to them -- it's ok to not constantly be texting or IMing them! Good luck!

Katie B.

by Gigilove321 on 5/6/2011 4:43:42 PM

 
 

Mod Mod Okay, so there's this girl in my grade (6th) who thinks I'm her best friend. I have 4 really close friends, and none of our parents really want us to hang out with her. Shes had many boyfriends since she was 9 or 10 and her parents are divorced. She gets everything she wants, an iPod, a new phone, a puppy, a shirt. Well, she tells me I treat her like dirt, when I actually honor her thoughts and opinions and care about what she does. Shes so dramatic. Shes not a very good friend and I just want her to get that im not her best friend and dont/cant hang out with her. If i tell her, shell tell the guidence counseler on me AGAIN and ill get a detention. She is hurting my other friends. She complains she has no friends and everyone hates her when she has at least 4 close friends. If anyone dislikes her its cause of her attitude. Another problem: her dad is my neighbor but also her other bff is too. How do i shake her? She thinks we have to be bffs or enimies. Help!

 

 

Hey girly girl! I'd still be nice to her, but slowly try to break free. Maybe, don't invite her as much anymore if you guys hang out. Be nice if she talks to you, but don't go out of your way to talk to her.

xxx

Becca G.

by stormbeauty on 5/1/2011 10:15:36 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD,
Hey, so Im in a bit of a sticky situation.
The grade 7's that go to my school are going on a trip to Ottawa! IM SUPER EXCITED! The problem is there is 4 people per room and my teacher put random people in our rooms so it would be fair. The problem is that Im with my bestfriend which is awesome! But were with 2 other girls who are really rude to me and her. We want to try and be polite and try a be there friend but they just say rude things to us. So how can me and my friend but up with these 2 girls for 4 days? I want this to be a good memory not a bad one.
xxx




Hey girlie -- you should talk your teacher about your situation, as she was the one who placed you guys. Explain to her everything you just told me, and that you and your friend are trying to be the bigger person, but it doesn't seem to be working and you would like her input.




Brittany G. 
Brittany G.

by dragonbee on 4/22/2011 6:49:37 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!!!
well i had no friends last christmas, i made friends that january and we are really close, well 3 of us... me, and two twins, were are bestfriends. trouble. another girl thinks she is my best friend even though she tells me nothing and uses me to go places.the twins dont like her! another girl thinks she is the twins bestfriend but, trouble is when the twins invite her to their house she doesnt talk to them or anything! she copies them in every way shape and form! its so annoying! and she hates me for taking her bestfriends away! even though they dont talk and if the twins invite me to theirs she invites her self and asks what time. I want to say something to her, because in school she doesnt let me sit/stand near them. it gets akward when im with her. and for my birthday and the twins birthday we dont know what to do or who to invite because of this! i cant cope anymore. what should i do? thanks mod Smile

 

Hey Girl,


This is a sticky situation. In terms of the girl who uses you only to go places, I would decline her requests to go places with you, especially if you recognize that she is doing that. I would also tell her how you feel, and explain that if you two want to be friends, you would like to talk to her and hang out. Next, I would try to make sure that you don't make plans with the twins or talk about upcoming plans in front of this girl. She probably feels left out, which is why she invites herself over. The reason she tries to makes sure you don't stand or sit by the twins is she feels a little left out. To appease her, maybe every so often try including her in some activity. I think the twins should talk to this girl and nicely explain that they don't understand why she is so upset about the three of you hanging out so much, if she doesn't seem to be good friends with them. As for your birthdays coming up, invite who you want, it's your party and you should invite you want. Just make sure to not talk about the parties in front of people who aren't invited.


 

danielle D.

danielle D.

by insideoutkid on 4/22/2011 5:58:04 AM

 
 

MOD! MOD! MOD! MOD! MOD!
Since the beginning of the year, me and this girl have been very good friends. I thought she was nice, but she ditched me for this more popular girl and know she won't even talk to me because her new friend won't let her. Now they just make fun of me and I have no close friends in my homeroom class(I have more friends in other classes). How can I get her to like me again? Should I make some new friends? Thanks~Catlover4723

 

Hey girlie girl!

 Do not waste too much time trying to win this girl over. I wouldn't want to be around people who makes fun of me. Instead, give this girl some space and focus on the friendships you have with your other friends in different classes. If you don't have assigned seating in homeroom, try sitting by some new people in your homeroom. You never know what kind of friendship might develop! If you really want to try to make amends with this girl, try grabbing her when she is by herself and ask to catch up and tell her how disappointed and hurt you felt when she ditched you.


 

danielle D.




danielle D.

by Catlover4723 on 4/21/2011 1:41:13 PM

 
 

MOD,
ok so I have a favorite youtube guru (macbarbie07) and i am extremely jealous of her, like i feel like it's not fair that I don't have her life she has so many clothes and friends and is home school and has an amazing house and is beautiful and lives in california where i want to live. and i have a youtube and i have what, 54 subs? I just don't want to feel like i want her life anymore.




Hey girlie. Everyone has those people that they envy, and that's totally normal. But that's just what you see of her. I'm sure she has her own jealousy issues of others (just like you). After a while, it will get old to you and you'll probably not care as much. Just give yourself some time. 
Marly Z.

by Gigilove321 on 4/18/2011 5:40:34 PM

 
 



MOD
i have been at a school now for 2 years and i am top set in everything. im 10 years old. i have this bff and we are always with eachother. she is starting to really annoy me and i dont like her anymore. i dont want to tell her though because she picks on people and then if i hate her she will bully me. she also makes me go down grades because she always asks me for help when im working and i have to help her or she gets moody. my whole family hate her and now so do i. is there a way of changing her because i want to be her friend because i know she is a nice good girl somewhere inside. also how can i get my family to like her?




hey! well you can't really change people. You have to accept them for who they are. good luck! 
Helen S.

by memechloe on 4/15/2011 6:50:47 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!
So, my friend met this guy on an online chatting site who claims to be a not-so-known-famous person. (Like, just on Youtube.) So, he managed to convince my HUUUUUGE group of friends that it was really him, but now I'm having my doubts. He has a Facebook, but his official page said he only had 1 personal. He might be trying to hide it, but still. I think he's video chatted a few times, but I'm not positive. I'm not sure if they have real proof. So, my friend has talked to him on video chat and stuff. He left one clue on his YouTube page that showed that it might be him, but I'm still not sure. For one thing, I don't want my friend to get hurt- she loves him, and he says that he loves her. For another, if he's not who he says he is...who is he, really? I don't want my friend to be in danger. I can't confront him because I don't know him well enough, I can't tell an adult, and if I confront her she'll say that it's him. Please help!

Bonjour chicky! Sounds like your in tough situation, so just make sure you watch her from the sidelines. Since they're just video chatting, he can't do anything serious with her there but if he starts asking where she lives or wants to meet with her privately, then those are some serious red flags! Make sure she doesn't give any personal information to this guy or meet up with him in a private space. You can be smooth about it like "let's make it a double date" or "don't give him your address - you're coming on too strong." It's also at this point (where she's thinking of meeting him privately) that you'll HAVE to tell an adult for we so many scary stories of girls not coming back after meeting up with these guys online. For more helpful tips check out our website: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2010/03/02/cyberspace-safety.aspx

Jessica W.

by FashionGurlie on 4/14/2011 2:11:08 AM

 
 

MOD,
My friend and I got into a big fight because she is getting her nose and belly button pierced! I told her to wait until she was older but she thought I was trying to control her! How do I get my friend back?!




Hey girlie. Just go talk to her. Tell her that you weren't trying to control her and that you care about her which is why you were concerned. And give her a little time. She will get past it. 
Marly Z.

by dragonbee on 4/11/2011 4:05:15 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD
Can you post questions for mods that everyone else can't see??
Thanks <3 <3

 

 

Hey chica! If you want, you can specify in your question that you don't want everyone else to see it, and ask the MOD to delete your question when they answer Smile

xxx

Becca G.

by fashiondramamusic on 4/10/2011 10:06:25 PM

 
 



Dear MOD, I have a bit of a problem. My best friend who I have known since kindergarten (we are now freshman in highschool) only cares about her boyfriend. It's all she talks about. I thought it would wear off and it was just the shock of having a boyfriend but they have been dating for two years! He is really possesive and needy, which makes me worry for her. She isnt allowed to really talk to other guys or anything and he gets mad when we spend time together. But its not just him. She is always worried about him.. what he will think, say, etc. All her facebook updates are about him and they walk to EVERY class together. She could care less about me anymore. I just want my best friend back. I have tried to tell her I wish she would worry a little less about him but she doesnt think its a problem. She thinks he is just the greatest, which its obviously not. Shes talking about marrying him and such. Even when we have to do projects for school she will say "im going with joe sorry" help!




Hey girlie,

I'm sure it's hurtful when you feel like you've lost your friend! My first advice is obviously try to talk to her and tell her how the whole situation makes you feel.  A true friend will listen and try to change her ways so that she can be a supportive friend to you.  If she doesn't listen, then find other friends to hang out with too...you can still be friends with her, but I'm sure you can have tons of fun with many other girls who can be a genuine friend to you!
Ruth S.

by bvameli145 on 4/9/2011 9:49:28 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!
So,my friend and I were on the phone and I told her I'd call her back in 5 minutes.5 minutes later I called her back and she told me she "had" to go do something.I know for a fact she didn't "have" to,she just said that so it seemed like she did,she wanted to.I kindly said,"Well you told me when I said I'd call you back in 5 minutes that it was okay and you'd be waiting.".She said that never happened,and it did.I told her how I've been sick all day and that I need a friend,but she said she didn't care.I also mentioned that when she calls me and I want to hang up I always stay on,she said she didn't care.I know she didn't mean those things but they still hurt.I still want to be her BBFL,(Best Buddy For Life)but I want her to know how I feel and say sorry,and mean it.She's sensitive,and really sweet,how do I tell her?




Hey girlie,

Just be honest and tell her that you were hurt because you needed her at the moment and she wasn't there for you.  A true friend will want to be there for you when you need her and she'll try her best to.  Let her know you value your friendship with her and you would love it if you could both be there for each other.
Ruth S.

by MadMaddie911 on 4/2/2011 9:30:02 PM

 
 

I agree with that, dont let some things go unsaid because they eventually come back to cause problems. One of my close friends was upset I said something about her and it was taken all wrong and it bothered her for months and she didnt say anything until one day and then just went off. I thought she lost it but now all is good, you just have to talk, so I agree with the advice.

by luckykel on 3/30/2011 9:29:27 PM

 
 

those girls in the pic look exactly the same!!! is that the same girl with a wig on?!

by Alykat18 on 3/30/2011 9:06:54 PM

 
 

Hey Girlies!
Do you love to act? Do you need help with a character that you are working on? Or do you just love to talk with fellow actors? Then the Acting club is the club for you! In this club you can talk about the latest in the industry, your fav actors, and movies, and even ask for help with a character! Join the Acting Club today!

by 789koolme1 on 3/30/2011 7:41:02 PM

 
 

Mod, I could really use somebody's advice right now.
So basicly, my two closest friends are drifting away from me. One of them has suddenly become closer with another girl, and every time I try to make plans with my friend, they're usually already together. When we do get a chance to see eachother, we don't have much to talk about and she doesn't always seem happy to see me, or like she's in her own world... The thing is, I don't know if I did anything wrong or she just doesn't want to be friends anymore.
My other friend basicly just befriended another girl and it's sort of the same situation. They hang out every weekend. When she's around, my friend excludes me and ignores me. Like, I'm her best friend when no one better is around.
What should I do? Confront them about these problems? Find new friends? I feel so alone. It's like I have no one anymore.




Hey girlie. It's always hard to feel like you're drifting from your friends. It is a part of life though, and you will get through it. If you feel like your friendship with them is strong enough that you can't lose them, then talk to them about it. If you feel like they're not worthwhile, then make new friends. I'd say do both. You can never have enough friends! And keep your head up chica- you will make so many other amazing friendships throughout your lifetime.  
Marly Z.

by spacekitty on 3/30/2011 5:57:17 PM

 
 

Mod Mod Mod!!
My Bestfriend and i have been talking for ev. about what part we should play in the School Play, we both said to eachother if i make it and you dont well quit, because we wont do it without eachother. After tryouts we figured out who got in and who didnt. I didnt get in. My friend didnt keep her promise, and now shes in the play and im not, she rubs it in my face, and i get upset over it. She talks about it all the time, im still in Crew though so i do all the other things, but still what should i do??? shes my best friend shes like my sister?




Hey girlie. I know it's hard to get over something like this- especially when your best friend got in and you didn't. But that's totally okay. Let her have her time in the play. Be happy for her. Your time WILL come. Something great will happen for you in the future, so don't get your head down about it.  
Marly Z.

by abbygirl12 on 3/30/2011 5:44:38 PM

 
 

(continuation)
shes become really self-centered and she only cares about her bf. her bf isnt the problem bcuz hes awesome and we are actually really good friends. shes really needy and always asks me or answers to homework and tests. she copies lots of things of mine. its pissing me off and im sick of it. i dont know whtg to do.

by munchkin112096 on 3/30/2011 2:50:31 PM

 
 

 thanks for this article, i've been having a lot of friend problems lately, ut this doent totlly clear things up. my best friend since we were 3 is still my best friend (ally), but i just realized i kind of hate her.
shes been putting me down a lot lately and it seems like she uses me sometimes. my other best friend and i have a banter always going, but we never actually are mean to each other. but ally is actually mean to me. she makes fun of me cuz i go to church, she kind of resents that im smart, even though i halp her study. whenever i have something to say, no matter what is is, she just like, "Anna, just dont talk. just stop." it makes me feel awful. I've tried to tell her that i hate it when she does that, but she always says im overreacting and i cant take her seriously. but it doesnt sound like a joke. Marly Z.

by munchkin112096 on 3/30/2011 2:47:33 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!
I finally found the PERFECT best friends-they're like,my twins!I missed the first 4 days of school,so I didn't really get to pick my seat-my besties sit together,anyway,going more into the subject,we're a trio!Three really is a company..but sometimes you're a the third wheel...I think my feeling have decreased and we're spending more time together,but it returned today.Talking to them is really hard..help?

 

Hey girlie! First you need to figure out exactly what's going on with you. It's hard to fix something you can't identify! Also, maybe you should take a break from hanging with them so much. You may want to spend some time with other friends, or even talk to your family some. Once you figure out what's really bothering you take the time to talk to them about it so thing's can be resolved. Hope this helps!

Caitlin F.

by Shadow.Fall691 on 3/30/2011 11:17:55 AM

 
 

Looking for Advice? Get it here! Nothing to weird, too personal, or too long. I'll give you an answer chock full of info. Post on my profile, and I'll answer on yours unless upon request.

by peacelovejesus on 3/30/2011 8:14:45 AM

 
 

My BFF has gotten very defensive lately. She accidentally called me, so i texted her and, as a joke, said I knew all her secrets now. She got mad at me. Then, I was telling her about a fun amusement park, And she said (kinda yelled) WELL THAT COSTS MONEY. I know she isnt in any financial probs.

by kittypryde676 on 3/29/2011 7:39:16 PM

 
 

need help wit life? stuff like
-babysitting
-family
-friends
-moeny
-music
-sports
-guys
-food
-makeup
-nails
plus anything u can think of?! i can solve just about any problem!

by gymbrat on 3/29/2011 6:31:29 PM

 
 

hey visit my profile. i give advie too! =) =) =)

by ALR on 3/29/2011 5:57:35 PM

 
 

My best friend is like embarrassed to be seen with me at school because she is popular and I am not.What kind of friend is that?? So i don't like her anymore and I am okay with that but she doesn't know I don't want to be her friend anymore...and I have a feeling she will get suuuupper mad if I tell her that?? WHAT SHOULD I DO!?

by topchef88 on 3/29/2011 4:24:35 PM

 
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