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Tired of the trash talk

One of my friends has started talking trash about everyone in our crew…
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This post reminds me of a movie I saw called "Odd Girl Out". Whenever the girl's friend was around, she was smiling in her face but when the girl wasn't around, the girl's "friend" badmouthed about her. You should confront her and tell her how you feel. If she denies, your spy skills have to come out. Sneak around a little bit. Try to prove her wrong. But if she wasn't badmouthing you in the first place, apologize and say it was a big misunderstanding. Hope this helped Smile

by itsLeahBroo on 4/27/2012 7:45:54 PM

 
 

i'm normally the person that does the bad mouthing. i just cant help it. when i get mad or jealous i tell ppl their secrets. once i told this complete stranger one of my friends secrets. i backstab ppl all the time. HELP ME

Hey girl,

You said in your other post that you gossiped about a pal because you were jealous she was spending time with other girls, so maybe it's time to look to the deeper cause of your behavior with other girls, too. Gossip can make you feel important and make other people want to talk to you, but in the end it's unkind and only leads to hurting people you love. Instead of telling other people's secrets, try spreading good gossip, like how awesome your bff was in her soccer game last week!

Meghan D.

by abigail11 on 4/21/2012 9:12:50 AM

 
 

Mod! Theres this girl in my grade and ever since grade 7 started,(i'm in gr 8) she hates my bff and I. But the problem is I have no clue what we did to make her so mad at me, although I don't think I even did anything.It's been getting me down lots lately. Me and my bff had to go to counciling with the girl and her friend in gr 7, that's how bad it was. Since then, it's been controlling my life, and Im losing my confidence. I feel I am being judged by everyone, especially The popular people, and I feel unwanted at school and at even church(the girl and I go to same church), and my parents had to convince me to go to bible camp. I hate talking to my parents about it, and I feel if I tell anyone else than my bff the girl will get mad at me again. But she's nice to my face and I don't know what she does behind my back. How do I deal with her and what to say to her? And who can I talk to about it, and even though it's indirect, is it still bullying?Thx so much




Hey girlie!

Is there any adult or teacher at your school that you feel like you may be able to talk to?  Or perhaps a guidance counselor?  They could probably give you better advice than I could on the subject because you could give them more details.  Sometimes all you can really do is confide in your parents though.  if you sit them down and really talk to them rationally then they'll be able to help you out, I promise!
Jordan S.

by marshmelo on 10/6/2011 1:12:49 AM

 
 

at my old school gossip and the want to be popular ended up hurting a lot of girls... don't encourage it, if all your other friends do it try to find other stuff to gossip about that won't hurt your crew. At my new school i have at least 3 friends from each clique and the gossip is very low.

by devann8 on 10/5/2011 10:39:29 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
Okay, so I have this BFF I've known for about 3 years. She can be super-sweet, awesome, funny, and loyal, but also lying, rude, and manipulative! She told me that one of friends was mad at me, and I asked the friend if she was mad at me and she said no! I don't know why she lied! She also claims she's "pyschic" and has been saying I'd end with my boyfriend. Who turned out to be my ex. Then she switched it to my crush! I'm tired of all the lying. And when I say are you lying, she gets all defensive, but I can tell she is. Me and my friends are tired of the lying. What can we do?




Hey chica!

If you can tell that she's lying, try to just ignore it. It seems like she likes the attention, so maybe if you stop giving her so much she'll stop making things up! You could always try to talk to her again because the more she hears it, the more she'll be able to realize how upset you guys are with her. Good luck! 
Katelyn L.

by AvatarTLA on 8/16/2011 3:59:29 PM

 
 



Mod!
Okay so my "best friend" has turned into a total brat. She gossips, acts like every guy likes her, pretends to be "bestfriends" with everything.! And she wasnt even like that before she became popular by dating all the popular guys. And she just joined the cheer team. I've been supportive to her since day 1. I try to be a good friend all the time. But whenever she hangs out with other people she auto matically calls them her bff. She was new last year so that's why. But I always get kinda jealous. I feel like it's not fair! I was there from day 1 and all the sudden everyone is her new bff! But I always feel replaced by her. And I don't really know how to tell her. On FB she is always saying "........ Is my bestfriend ever!" and has hung with them once? I worked for months to get to be er bff and it just get handed to strangers!?!?! I don't really know what to do in the whole sitch. Should we stay friends? Can you help me on what to do? Thx.




Hey girl, I know it's hard but I wouldn't take what she's doing personally. A lot of Facebook and middle school is about appearances: rest assured that the relationship you've worked for with her is probably deeper than her new BFF-ships. Just see BFF as a word, nothing sacred. Let the discussions you two have define how special what you have is, not a label. And tell her you feel shut out. She may have no clue.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by Babygirl1265 on 7/28/2011 8:40:00 PM

 
 

Mod mod mod mod
My BFF is kind of like this. She and I will gossip about other friends in our group when they're not there and when today I had to leave her bday party early would she talk about me?
And another q the same girl invited my arch enemy to her bday party and when she told me she said "oh I know u hate her but that means I get another present!" and then during the party my enemy sprayedme with a hose and hit me a lot and my friend did nothing!! What should do?




Hey girl,

Unless you and your BFF are reallyreallyreallycloseImeanreallyclose, you can probably bet that she talks about anyone behind their backs when they aren't around, including you. I don't mean that in a hurtful way toward her because I don't know for sure, but it's just a sign of a person's behavior - if they're gossipy and talk about other "best friends" around you, they probably won't leave you out of the gossip either. But that second part makes her sound kinda like a bad person - that's a very greedy, superficial thing to do. Especially since she didn't stick up for you when your enemy was being nasty. Personally, I would tell her calmly that I wasn't happy with the way things went down at her party - it's her decision to invite her to the party, but tell her you would've expected her to help you out a little when your enemy ganged up on you. It's not unreasonable to expect some support outta your bestie! 
Lauren C.

by Dashor on 7/25/2011 11:41:33 PM

 
 

mod mod! one of my friends has turned really gossipy and mean she makes fun of people behind there back and throws tatrums by hitting people. i dont want to be friends with her any more but im scared that if i tell shes gonna hurt me(by hitting) also this is way off topic but i cant find your books on epl what should i type in to look at you books?1 more q um i hate to ask this q agian but ive been having ALOT of discharge for 3 years! Im just wondering will my period ever come?

 

1)  The best thing, if you don't feel like you can talk to her about it, is to just break the distance slowly.  Be polite, but don't go out of your way to hang with her. 

2)  You can check Amazon, I know they sell it for sure!  Or, try typing in one of the specific titles:  Girls' Life Guide to Being the Most Amazing You, Girls' Life Head-to-Toe guide to you, Girls' LIfe Guide to a Drama-Free Life, and Girls' Life Ultimate Guide to Surviving Middle School. 

3) Usually they say it comes 6 months to a year before your period, but it could be longer.  Don't fret, but ask your doctor for clarification.  xoxo

Marie H.

by mickyabc on 7/23/2011 12:34:44 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
Okay soo my best friend and I are kinda fighting and it's making me pretty sad. I was wondering what i could do to get my mind of the fight and enjoy summer. Also i wanted to know if there are any ways that I can earn her forgiveness. thnxx Smile




Hey babe! A fight with a BFF is always rough. If it really is your fault why you're in the fight, then just apologize to her. Tell her how much she means to you and how you don't want your friendship to be ruined because of this issue. Hopefully she'll understand. But you probably won't be able to enjoy your summer until you get that off your chest. Good luck! xoxo 
Jess W.

by sapphire345 on 7/15/2011 12:43:29 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
Okay, I have this friend. Let's say his name is Seth. A couple friends and I were hanging out, and started talking about Seth. He's a really great friend of ours, but he can annoy us quite a bit. We said some pretty awful things about him. Well, one of his friends was there, and heard what we said. Then, he apparently told Seth. Seth texted me earlier today, saying that he knew what we said. He sounded extremely angry and swore quite a lot, which is very out of his character. I told him I was very sorry, which I was, but that's obviously not enough for what I did. He still wants to be friends, but he hasn't forgiven me yet. What can I do to fix this? He is a really really good friend and I dont want to lose his friendship.




Ask him what you can do to earn his forgiveness, whether it be giving his time or anything of that sort.




Brittany G. 
Brittany G.

by freakychick on 7/8/2011 10:20:37 PM

 
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