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The 411 on mixing friends

I hang out with two different groups. My old friends complain that I hang out with my new friends too much, and vice versa…
34 Comments | Add Yours
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MOD,
I'm not sure what I should do. I have two super close friends. But now there's a new girl at our school (lets call her J).One of my friends (lets call her K) was friends with J over the summer. But now since school started, J has completely turned on K and is very rude to K to her face and behind her back. But because J has no one else, she still hangs out with my friends on us. K is afraid to stand up to J, so my other friend (M) and I have been standing up for her. We've told J we have no interest in being friends with her if she continues to act like this. She doesn't understand this though. M and I know its hard to come to a new school, especially in a small town where everyone already has their own small group friends, but she is walking all over K and K is miserable. We have told our teacher, but I'm not sure it will change anything. M and I have told J four times as directly and kindly as we can, but she doesn't get the message. J's attitude isn't changing




Hey girl,

Maybe it's time to follow through on your claims then. You've said you didn't want to be friends with J if she continued being so mean to someone who didn't deserve it, so maybe now it's time to pull back and be less available for her when she wants to talk/hang out. Being around so much negativity isn't healthy for anyone! And it's so great you're helping K feel more secure and wanted by sticking up for her - that's totally the right thing to do. But when J realizes that she can't just walk all over people or she'll have to pay the price at some point, she might realize that being a bully isn't worth it <3 Or maybe not...but then, at least you've cut that negativity out of your life!
Lauren C.

by CanadianGirl_0606 on 10/27/2011 7:01:35 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!
Hi ;) So I went to a new school this year and I made a few new friends. thing is, I don't want to be in their 'group'. I'd like to be friends with both groups, but I want to be in the other group. The other girls are OK with me sitting with them at lunch and whatever, but I'm having trouble leaving the other girls. They were nice to me when I didn't know anyone, but I'd like to be friends with the other group more this group just doesn't feel right... How do I seamlessly move into their gropu without hurting the first group's feelings?
Also, I want to try out for basketball but I'm not very good! How can I get better in time for tryouts?
Thank you so much and I appreciate it!




Hey girl, why do you have to choose one group? Balance both by splitting your lunches with them. As for basketball, just practice, practice, practice a little bit each day. You've got time now; use it

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by elleeroses on 8/23/2011 11:51:52 PM

 
 



MOD I have a friend (I’ll call her Jenna) that's 4 years older than me that I met through the barn where I ride. Yesterday she invited me to go a horse show on Saturday with her sister (6 years older than me) and said that they were meeting two of Jenna’s friends there. My parents are fine with it but they’re all at least 4 years older than me and I don’t really know Jenna’s friends. I’m scared it'll be awkward with me being there. I’m not sure if I should go or not even though I really want to... if I go how can I stop it from being totally uncomfortable? Thanks!




Hey girl, by not letting yourself be uncomfortable. Forget the numbers and jsut be you around Jenna and her pals. They won't notice the age difference unless you pick it out.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by candgrl on 8/18/2011 10:51:13 PM

 
 



MOD I have a friend (I’ll call her Jenna) that's 4 years older than me that I met through the barn where I ride. Yesterday she invited me to go a horse show on Saturday with her sister (6 years older than me) and said that they were meeting two of Jenna’s friends there. My parents are fine with it but they’re all at least 4 years older than me and I don’t really know Jenna’s friends. I’m scared it'll be awkward with me being there. I’m not sure if I should go or not even though I really want to... if I go how can I keep it from being totally uncomfortable? Thanks!




Hey, Girl! Sorry for the “stock” message. We’re psyched you’re here but since this is a super busy time, mods aren’t able to answer personal advice or contest questions. We’re approving your comments now so the girls can start offering feedback right away! If you still have questions, please come back, we’re happy to help…or just let the other chicas answer now! (They give awesome advice, trust us!) Love and thanks! ♥, Your Blog Patrol Babes 
Alyssa B.

by candgrl on 8/18/2011 6:26:23 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
My friend said that her older sister and her older sisters best friend and her sisters best friends sister who isd my friends age are going to a 16 and under club and that they were sneaking in and stuff and that it's going to be fun (their going tomorrow night) and didn't invite me! My mom said their lying because she's never heard of that club before but I feel so left out What should i do? Please help! By the way,their sisters are 13 and were 12. Thanks!
Briana




 Hey Girl!

Sorry to hear you're feeling left out. If you're really offended, try bringing it up with them -- but don't be mean and accuse them of trying to hurt your feelings. Maybe they just want to spend some time with their sisters -- so don't be hurt, and understand that it's not personal.
Sarah G.

by JBfan97 on 8/15/2011 3:13:42 AM

 
 


MODMODMOD
Ugh.I had this friend that was shy,quiet,and so insecure even if Icheer her up,reassure her,talk with her(etc)It's to the point where it got really annoying and she was never willing to do anything out of her comfort zone and cried easily.And yes,I did everything to help her, but it's like she won't budge!It wasn't exactly "super fun" hanging out with her anymore, she was just a GREAT person to talk to instead!I still like her,and we know that when we move to highschool,she can have her own friends, and I can hang with my own friends since she is SO clingy to me.. Last week we were at camp(coincidentally)and I immediately becamefriends with a girl on the first day.My friend from before though didn't,and she didn't make friends with anyone for the first 2 days..-_- she decided to follow me, even though we SAID we would go separate ways.Now she has become friends with my friend I originally made..She can't even MAKE FRIENDS ON HER OWN..and she now copies my every move.HELP?


 


Hey girly! Maybe, if you branch out and try some new things, you can meet new friends of your own! Try out for a new sport or join a club without her. That way, you can have some space to grow on your own and meet people! Smile


xxx


Becca G.

by kkk38 on 8/13/2011 6:30:01 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
I found out through my mom that my best friend's dog is dying from cancer, and will have to be put to sleep eventually. She hasn't told me because its too hard for her to talk about. I'm really "not supposed 2 know". I don't know how to deal with this information now. It also makes me think about my own cat, who is slowly dying from kidney failure. What do I say when and if she decides to tell me? and how to also stop thinking about death and my cat family and friends dying. It all scares me.




Hey babe,

I totally understand where you're coming from - death is scary and sometimes hard to deal with. As for your friend's dog, just be supportive when she tells you. Tell her you're here for her if she ever needs someone to talk to or a way to take her mind off it. You can be there to talk about her memories with the dog, the sadness she's feeling, and the future. By being positive and available, you'll give her some relief from the pain she'll be feeling. With family and friends, sometimes we want to just give in to the fear and be nervous about it all the time. The important thing to focus on, though, is living - focusing on the full lives that your pets, family, and friends have lived, focusing on living your own life to the fullest, and understanding that making memories will help us keep our loved ones "alive" forever Smile
Lauren C.

by kguyer123 on 8/1/2011 8:32:19 PM

 
 

MOD MOD
okay, so I go to a pretty small school (only 30 kids in the whole grade...15 girls). There's basically like, three different social circles for the girls. I'm caught in between two of them, and I've known all the girls since kindergarten, and i know that they won't be willing to cooperate with eachother. Problem is, I reallyyy want to be friends with both groups! One of my friends from group A is always really rude to everyone whenever anyone from group B is around. But when it's just me and other group A people, she's totally fine. My group B friends can't understand why i would want to be friends with someone so rude. Any ideas?




Hey girl,

You need to just tell the girls from each group that you like both the groups equally and still wanna hang out with them, and it makes you feel kinda awkward when they talk bad about each other. You can also say that you'd really wish they'd be friends with each other, but since you don't think that will happen, you just want them to accept the fact that you're going to be friends with both groups. Good luck! x0x0 
Casey L.

by rosierose5 on 7/27/2011 3:21:11 PM

 
 



MODMODMOD!
Every time my friend comes to my house she uses my Laptop.Like Yesterday she came to my house and she came around 4pm,then she asked if she could use my Laptop and i said yes.I know you might think i'm exaggerating but 7 hours pass and she's still on my Laptop.I don't wanna be mean but it get on my nerves.And it's makes me feel mad since she comes to my house to be on my laptop.So i just wanna know how can I tell her to get off my laptop.




Hey babe! That's really rude of her and you should do something about it. Next time she asks there are tons of things you can do: Just say no. If you don't want to be mean then let her use it, I think 30 minutes is long enough, maybe 45 if you're generous. After you think she's had it long enough, tell her you need to use it. Then it's yours again. She'll probably say something like, "I'm almost done." So you can give her 5-10 more minutes, then say it again, that you need to use your computer. It's yours, she has to give it over. Then once you goof around for 10 or so minutes, ask her if she wants to do something else. Put your computer away so that she can't use it anymore either. Then if she comes over again and asks to use it, have it put away and tell her your dad is fixing it or something and see if she wants to do something else instead. If she doesn't have her own computer she doesn't need to use yours all the time. That's what the library is for. Good luck! xoxo
Jess W.

by Jazzyrock2213 on 7/22/2011 2:27:41 AM

 
 

MOD! MOD! MOD!!!!!
what are some good ideas for a birthday present for a friend? we arent like best friends but we are pretty close friends. so what are some good ideas for inexpensive, maybe something i can make, and fun gifts for her? her favorite color is purple btw.
Thank you sooo much!




Hey girly,

Here's one idea: Get a scrabble game, and use the tiles to glue words on the board that describe her, or things that she likes. So, it will end up looking like a real scrabble game except all of the words will be about her! You can also glue pictures of you and her on the board, to make it even more personal! x0x0
Casey L.

by lazer!beam!22 on 7/21/2011 2:32:32 PM

 
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