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Do I have to be popular to snag a BF?

I'm not in the coolest clique at school. Will that ruin my chances with guys this fall?
31 Comments | Add Yours
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all the good guys in my school are the popular guys.. the others are either the nerds, gays, or just plain weirdos. so in my school if you want a good guy, you have to be popular.. so id say the best advice in here would be to go after a guy from a different school! i found one from a different school and he actually got to know the real me, and not just my social place.. Smile

by Cherries51 on 8/26/2011 8:18:44 PM

 
 

Wow, sorry, but this seems like kind of a silly question to me. My boyfriend and I are self-declared nerds and would NEVER have been considered "popular", but we're unbelievably happy with each other. Interestingly, on the last day of school, a whole gang of popular girls came up to us and told us - in complete honesty - that we were adorable together.

by tera213 on 8/18/2011 10:18:05 AM

 
 

Boys in my middle school only date popular girls so I hope that changes in high school because it seems like girls and boys date each other for popularity and not because they really like each other.

by risabdive on 8/4/2011 6:25:19 PM

 
 

wow. very true Smile

by 4202_luver on 8/4/2011 10:45:57 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!!! so im going to the mall really soon, and i want to break out of my shell and talk to some guys.. haha, i know that might sound weird, but do you have any tips on how do start a cono or introduce yourself? thanksss




Hey girl, that's tough when you're in a public space like the mall. Maybe complimenting a guy on something he's wearing or asking one for directions? It's the most practical way.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by sugarandspice on 7/30/2011 1:01:19 AM

 
 

Thanks!

by nevierose on 7/26/2011 12:15:49 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
I'm really unpopular at school and very VERY shy. all the boys at my school either dont know i exist or think that I'm a freak because I'm different and they make fun of me. I'm way to shy to talk to the guy i like and even if i did he probably wouldnt even know who I am. Sorry for sounding so pessimistic!Smile
P.S.- I'm not allowed to date until i turn 18 so is there any way to change my moms mind about that, because I really dont want to wait 5 years! thx




Hey girl,

I totally understand - it's common to lose all of our confidence when we think about making conversation with a guy we like. But you gotta relax and try it if you're ever going to be comfortable around them! Like this article says, I doubt they think you're a freak - they just don't know you well enough to chat with you all the time. So break the ice! Take the article's advice and make small talk now and then. Be confident when saying the opening line ("Phew, what'd you think of that test?") instead of awkward. Just give it a try - you'll get better at it!




As for mom, you're going to have to give that one time. It's better to wait until you've met a guy you trust, who respects you, and who treats you well - then make the case to mom that you like him and are mature enough to date him without letting him pressure you into anything. Until then though, try to respect her decision Smile 
Lauren C.

by nevierose on 7/25/2011 5:55:15 PM

 
 



MOD:MOD:MOD
Ok i like this guy a lot, and he likes me. But then i moved. Is there any point in long distance dating? Or should i just move on?




hey! i think you should probably move on  
Helen S.

by juliajellybeans on 7/23/2011 4:00:03 PM

 
 

Usually the "popular" couples who go out with each other just for the sake of dating aren't having that great of a relationship anyway. There's a good amount of people at my school who started to date in freshmen yr (or earlier) and remained together even after they've graduated. A lot of them weren't even in the same group of friends/social circle to begin with. If he truly likes you, the last thing on his mind would be if you're popular or not.

by Stargirlcandy3 on 7/21/2011 8:08:44 PM

 
 

From personal experiences this is not a problem at all! I never compare myself to "popular" group because I know that even though they seem perfect their lives are filled with drama and fake relationships alot of the time. Girls that are confident not full of themselves are what guys look for. SO as long as you don't compare yourself to those so called "popular" girls and you are confident in yourself the right guy is probably already got you on his radar. Smile

by purpletiger<3 on 7/20/2011 1:24:35 PM

 
 

I had that same problem! I'm not what you would call "popular". I had 2 or 3 close friends, no one else really knew who I was. But I got a boyfriend, who likes me for me. Its not always about popularity to get someone who cares.(:

by milkyway on 7/20/2011 12:26:36 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
hey i have a question. from your experience do 1). people start having actual relationships in high school? cuz ya know in middle school, people just "go out" with eachother, sometimes even if they don't like each other, just for the sake of "dating" someone, and they break up after about a week. then the cycle repeats. do people actually go out with someone because they WANT to go out with them, and have relationships that last longer?
2). do guys get better in high school? like actually going for the girls that aren't on the volleyball team, maybe aren't the most obvious choice, but are actually way nicer?
PS. i'm going into 8th grade
sorry for making this long. thanks! Smile <3




 Hey girly,

1) Yes, in high school things are usually more serious and people date because they really like someone. And the length of the relationship just depends on the couple. 2) It's hard to have a yes or no answer to this question because each guy's different, but generally guys get more mature (at least by a little) in high school, so hopefully they become less superficial. x0x0
Casey L.

by biffo on 7/20/2011 11:02:18 AM

 
 

haha, this doesn't seem to work for me. i'm not popular, and i'm going into 8th grade, and i've never had a bf in my life. but i guess i'm not alone, cuz my bestie is going into 9th grade and is in the same boat as me.

by biffo on 7/20/2011 10:57:22 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
Hi! I'm sick of the guys at my school. I have dated pretty much all of the guys who I would like, and now, I feel like it's all been there, done that. The school is pretty small, and I used to try to go for the older guys, but now my grade is the eighth. Do you have any idea where I could meet cute, nice guys?




Hey girly,

Do you have any friends who don't go to your school? If you do, consider going on a "group date" with them and some of the guys at their school, so you can meet more people. Good luck! x0x0
Casey L.

by blissbaby on 7/20/2011 9:24:12 AM

 
 

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by purpleorchid on 7/20/2011 12:49:55 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!!!
so I like this one guy in my grade who's pretty popular and a LOT of girls like him. So the thing is is that whenever I'm around him and start a convo with him I have a tendency to avert my eyes and duck my head. How can I stop acting so shy around him? The other thing is is I'm pretty shy and smart but not outgoing. This is how he is too most of the time. Do u think he could like me even though most guys like girls who r outgoing and funny? He goes out of his way to talk to me and has flirted with me before. I also catch him glancing at me during class. Do u think he could be into me? Sorry this is super long!!!




Hey girl, it's hard to tell. He could definitely dig you as a friend though which is a good starting point. As for the way you act, don't sweat it. Just be you. It's OK to get nervous, but you'll get more comfy the more you talk to him and hang with him.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by Nmun2000 on 7/19/2011 11:07:51 PM

 
 

There are a lot of girls I know who have bfs at my school who arent popular. So you will have a bf if you want one. I think there are guys who only go for popular people but I think there are a lot of guys who dont. Just have a nice personality and you should attract guys, some who you may even like and want to date.

by luckykel on 7/19/2011 10:40:09 PM

 
 

Good advice! Thx

by Queen_of_Hearts on 7/19/2011 10:13:06 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
I feel really left out. Both of my besties have boyfriends, and I don't. It also seems like I'm not really supposed to have one yet. I'm a trustworthy person,so I don't see why I shouldn't be allowed. Also, I feel really bad because my friend's boyfriend just broke up with her and is dating a girl she doesn't really like. How can I cheer her up? Sorry if that's a lot to answer. Smile




Hey girl, 1) you don't need a boyfriend. Don't feel bad you're single. Just embrace having the time to get to know yourself and focus on friends more. 2) When the right guy comes, your parents will make an exception (as will you). Trust me. 3) Just be there for your friend. Let her vent and hear her out. And remind her there's other fish in the sea out there and she'll find someone better someday. That's all you can do.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by Queen_of_Hearts on 7/19/2011 10:09:42 PM

 
 

At my school, if you're not in the popular clique, you don't have a boyfriend. In fact, hardly anybody who's not popular has ever had a bf...if the article is true than I live in a pretty bad area haha Smile

by IceTigers on 7/19/2011 9:29:26 PM

 
 

Join my club Alpha's Elites and A-Listers ONLY if you have what it takes ;)

by Jounga on 7/19/2011 7:29:42 PM

 
 

Ummmm....confident is spelled wrong Smile

by monkeyqueen99 on 7/19/2011 6:24:56 PM

 
 

This is one of the biggest questions in life. Trust me, guys REALLY don't care. If anything, guys find it huge turn of if you just care about popularity.

If he does, well.. he has problems. XD

by aqua girl on 7/19/2011 6:12:12 PM

 
 

It is going to be so weird to go to school this year because my elementary school separated into 2 middle schools and now we all come back together in high school. Everyone is going to look different. It's kind of exciting in a way. Maybe some of the cute ones are nicer haha. Hopefully guys really don't care about popularity. But I would never want a guy who likes popular girls anyway.

by topchef88 on 7/19/2011 5:05:16 PM

 
 

Guys at my school only date popular girls...

by jackieluvz on 7/19/2011 2:58:13 PM

 
 

i cant wait until the guys in my class figure that out bc they think the most popular mean brat is hot because of her "sassyness" Which in my case happens to be my cousin.... talk about a rough life.....

by bieberlover586 on 7/19/2011 12:00:30 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
Hey, I'm basically stuck at home all summer because my parents are always working, and it gets soo boring cuz I have nothing to do, and I can't get a ride anywhere. What are some things I could do by myself at home that are fun? And would it be possible for me to get a bf this summer even though I can't go anywhere? How would I do it? Thanks!




Hey girly,

You could always start a fun summer read, since you may not have had time to read whatever you wanted during the school year. You could also write letters to your friends, family, etc. because everyone loves getting mail! And getting a BF may be a little difficult since you're stuck at home, but if there was anyone you were interested in during the school year you could try texting or e-mailing him to see how his summer's going, and see what happens from there. Good luck! x0x0 
Casey L.

by mememe6 on 7/19/2011 10:49:38 AM

 
 

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by nerdisthewurd26 on 7/19/2011 9:56:04 AM

 
 

Hey girl I have the same problem but I am just working through it!!!!

by Kellbell94301 on 7/19/2011 9:45:10 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!!!
i know this has nothing to do with the article above (great help, btw) but i have a MAJOR moving issue. my family has been moving around since i was little. we've lived in 4 different states and in 7 houses. and my parents said there's a 50/50 chance we might move again by the end of the year, or as soon as october. but halfway across the country. i don't know if i can handle this because i'll have to leave behind my friends, and church, and school, and the place i've known to love. i also don't know what to expect from the people my age. i am concerned that the girls there will treat me badly. i don't know, i guess i'm just being negative, but theres a solution for that, and i told my dad we could try cyber school. even so, there is the plus side that i'll be WAY closer to family, but i don't think i'll live without my friends, especially knowing that they'll have new friends by the end of the school year, and might have forgotten about me. help!




Hey girl,

It's always tough to move and leave friends behind. To stay in touch with them, you should start an e-mail thread and keep it going. You could also make it a rule that you and your BFFs have to talk on the phone at least once every week, to make sure that you all stay in touch. You can also see if at some point during the year, your parents will let you visit your friends, and you can all have a big sleepover. Staying touch can be easy, you just have to try. Making new friends is also easy, even though you may be a little nervous. It really only takes one smile or "hello" to start a conversation with someone and begin a new friendship, so that's all you have to do. Just smile at people, introduce yourself, and tell them that you're new. They'll try to help you fit in, and it will be a lot better than what you're imagining. Good luck! x0x0 
Casey L.

by MCLY1222<3 on 7/19/2011 9:05:23 AM

 
 

MODMODMOD
do guys like girls who wear makeup?




Hey girl,

That depends. If it looks natural, then probably. But if it looks too dramatic or overdone, they probably won't like that. It also depends on the guy. Some guys like when girls wear makeup, and others don't. x0x0 
Casey L.

by freeflyer759 on 7/19/2011 8:55:38 AM

 
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