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My friends are using me!

They only want to hang out with me because I have cool things.
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MOD MOD MOD
hey my bff is very self centered. she always gets mad at me when i hang out with other friends and only wants people to be by her. it gets annoying and ive told her this MANY times befopre. She just gets mad and we get in a big fight. we get in fights every week.... i hate it but i cant stand when she thinks everything is about her. also she just got a facebook and she thinks she is the quenn of the world and is being pretty snooty to me and her other friends.she thinks we r all a "group" or a "clique". i hate it. and she aimes to be popular so she thinks its alright when she talks to other people... but i cant..
thanks so much and sorry its sooo long!
XOXO




Hey girlie,

You just have to show, with your actions, that you are not on board with her actions. If she freaks out when you hang out with someone else, shrug and say "I'm not really sorry that I have other friends." Then walk away. If she gets mad, she gets mad. You're allowed to be independent, have friends besides her, and live your own life! Don't let her talk you out of that. If she's trying to make your group seem "popular" or "cliquey" and you're not down with that, get your other friends together on this one and tell her you don't want to be perceived that way by the rest of the school. Tell her you're open to being friends with lots of different people. You don't have to agree on EVERYTHING, but these are some major differences you shouldn't stay quiet about. If she doesn't respond well/gets upset, try to distance yourself from her and focus on your other friends. You don't have to have a major blowout fight, but you can be a little less available so you aren't involved in so much drama all the time. You don't need all that nonsense!
Lauren C.

by bluedevils5 on 11/25/2011 7:52:22 PM

 
 

Mod Mod Mod!
I feel sad,angry, or just jeaolous. ALL THE TIME.
My parents are divorced, but I have a stepdad. I dont like him. Help!




hey girl. family problems can be the worst. if you think you need help to figure out what is going on ask you parents if you can see a therapist who can really help you. there is no shame in getting help.  
Ana D.

by catluverforlife on 11/24/2011 12:38:06 PM

 
 

MOD!MOD!MOD!MOD!
My friend said I should get braids and I decided to get some since hers look really good. She said it took like 10 HOURS.I was kinda shocked so i asked what she did to pass time. She said just watched TV. I'm not really the person to watch Tv for 10 hours. What can i do to pass time?

 

Hey chica! 10 hrs is a longgggg time. You could always catch up on your reading. Read a book you've already started or a new one. You could also do hw or study. There are so many things you could do! May you should divide the time up, like spend 3 hrs reading and the rest doing hw or something like that. 

Amalia E.

by Jazzyrock2213 on 11/23/2011 9:16:54 AM

 
 



MOD
I have a friend who's really close and we've known each other for a long time, but lately she's been acting really mean. She ignores me and ditches me, and when i hang out with my other friends she gets really mad. I don't really want to be her friend anymore, but im not sure. What should i do?




hey girl, well best thing to do first is talk to her. Tell her how you feel, tell her how she's treating you isn't fair. If she responds rudely, it's probably time to concentrate on your other friends. Although if she responds nicely and understands, then try and give her another chance. Sometimes friends can just get jealous and confused. I'd say give her one more shot to prove to you she can be a good friend. We've all been there girl, it'll be okay! =]
lauren r.

by ColosalMascara on 11/21/2011 7:26:04 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
I'm just wondering, but for these Dear Carol questions, do you send or email a message? And if you do, how? Thanks!!




Hey girlie,

You can send Dear Carol letters by mail or via our website - just click here! Smile 
Lauren C.

by cloudyday on 11/19/2011 9:01:54 PM

 
 

I really hope that they aren't using you Frown good luck

by cutiekj on 11/17/2011 9:20:20 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
My best friends and I had an argument a few months ago because we didn't see each other as much as in the past. I left it a while and then went round her house one night after school and we sorted everything. It was okay, but suddenly she started ignoring me again after a while. About a week after that she had deleted me on facebook and written a status about people she thought she knew lying to her. I don't know if it's about me or just a coincidence, as I haven't got a problem and have said lots that I just want us to be cool again.
What do you think I should do so that I can get my friend back again?




Hey Chica,

You're already trying really hard to get your friend back, but give talking to her one last try. You said you went by her house before, so you could try doing that again if she's ignoring you in other places. Just be honest and open, and don't accuse her of anything, and let her talk. Figure out what's going on with her, because she might be having more serious problems and might just need a friend who can listen to her. But if she keeps acting closed off toward you, it's better let your friendship drift apart because there's only so much you can do, and it's not good to keep stressing about it. You sound like a good friend though, so hopefully talking to her will do the trick! Good luck!
Rachel N.

by mooloo95 on 11/16/2011 3:54:51 PM

 
 

Mod Mod Mod!
About a week ago my best friend that I have known for about 8-9 years now, started being friends with a girl that I hate hate hate, she used to call me ugly,mean,horrible, the list could go on! And so I thought, OK, She can be friends with her. I walked off and played with someone else. Then, Today, and yesterday, and the day before that, my *best friend* just wouldn't even talk to me. I've talked to her and told her that why cant us 3 just be friends? And she said OK and then we all chatted, but they kept acting like they couldn't wait to get rid of me. Today I heard them saying mean things about me. What 3 Do?




Hey Doll,

One of the hardest things about getting older is that some friendships drift apart, but it's even more difficult when your bestie is meaning mean. It could just be a phase your friend is going through, but since you've seen her true colors, don't struggle to maintain a friendship with her. Start spending more time with other girls in your class, and make an effort to hang out with them outside of school too (a slumber party with new people is always fun!). Check out this Dear Carol post, too. Your friend knows you don't like this girl, so don't change yourself to try and fit in with the two of them. Good luck!
Rachel N.

by catluverforlife on 11/16/2011 2:24:24 PM

 
 



MODMODMOD
Ok well I went to this school that had clicks. All I wanted todo is be in the popular click. So they finally let me in the click after I made cheerleader. Well then they started to use me. They made me carry all their stuff. Well I had to move schools so they made me a going away party. They didnt let me plan it or invite anyone. It turned out to be one of the girls birthday party instead of my going away party. So that night when I was there they locked me in a room all by my self in the dark and tryed to take my phone. I cried myself to sleep while they had the rest of the party. Well I didnt want my mom to know, so I invited them to my party where I had to clean up pea and make them coffee and do what eva they wanted. And now they are talking bad about me but when I text them they say I miss you so much. Well I am moving back there but I dont want to be there friend but I still want to be in their popular group. What should I do?




Hey girl, I don't think you can be in the popular group without becoming one of them or being their friend. Basically, popularity isn't worth being treated as horribly as you have been. It's obvious these girls are just using you and were never worth your friendship or time. Trust me when I say instead of trying to be "cool," you'll be much happier in the long run if you find friends who respect you. As you continue into high school and then eventually college, you'll see these cliques that matter so much in high school have less and less importance until one day you're a junior in college and those kids in the popular clique don't matter at all (true story). Their popularity made no difference to them in the long run; it takes more than being "cool" to make it in the world.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by polkadotruby7 on 11/14/2011 6:52:20 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!
I have an unusual request- I am trying to give advice to a girl that is younger than me-let's call her 'Nikki'-about an unhealthy friendship she is caught up in with a girl who we'll call 'Darlene'. Darlene uses and manipulates Nikki all the time for stuff like homework answers, and if Nikki doesn't give her what she wants, Darlene goes around bad mouthing her. I told Nikki to break off the friendship- its unhealthy, and she deserves better friends who are actual friends- not girls who use her. But Nikki says that if she did, Darlene would tell people mean things about her, and start rumors. I told Nikki not to care what 'People' say or think about her, and that the people who believe the rumors don't matter, and the people who matter won't believe the rumors, but I've said all that and she STILL says she can't break off the friendship- HELP! I'm trying to be a mentor to this girl, but I'm failing miserably!
What would you say to her? THANK YOU!
xoxo, Jillian




I would give her all that same advice. Girls can be mean and people care too much about what other people say about them. Also another thing she can do is go to a counselor to try and stop darlene from spreading too much gossip. Good luck! xoxo kerra 
Kerra S.

by i♥drama on 11/11/2011 6:49:54 PM

 
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