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Help! BGF going from good guy to bad boy

My best guy friend has started smoking and drinking. I want him to stop before he ruins his life…
22 Comments | Add Yours

well if hes in high school(or especially a sophmore) its normal but that still doesnt make it okay. honestly you do need to talk to him about it.

by shorty6901 on 10/21/2012 12:18:47 PM


Hey if you are worried about him help him out but dont get caught up in what he is doing! Please dont help him but do it to. Sorry he is like this do what you can!

by HopeIsNotHopeless on 12/28/2011 1:31:50 PM


You're his best friend, right? Then talk to him about it. If he is still doing these things, steer clear of him until he gets the idea that you disapprove.

Please visit my Advice Queen page! I really like to give advice to peeps Smile just post a question and i will answer it on your profile as soon as i see it.

by basketballcutie11 on 12/23/2011 5:24:02 PM


WOW I hope he gets his act together because that is unacceptable. I mean i know there are drugsout there and temptation but that doesnt me you have to do what people do. Dont be the type of person to ask how high is the bridge when they ask you will you jump off the bridge.

by zania on 12/17/2011 11:21:20 PM


i heard from a friend that one of my other friends wants to get pregnate at 16. she told my friend that her and her boyfriend were going to get married after they are both 16.
and after they get married and he gets her pregnate he is going to enlist in the military. when my friend and her bf started going out we(all of her other friends) were really happy for her because he was the best boyfriend that she has had in a while, but now he has kind-of pushed away all of her friends. even a friend that she considers her sister. how might i persue her that this may not be the smartest idea out there?

Hey girlie,

Well you're right - this isn't the smartest idea I've ever heard. You might want to start off by telling her you're happy she's found someone so great and respectful, and that she totally deserves someone so great. But ask her some practical questions. What about college? Doesn't she want to travel? Where's she going to get the money to raise a kid? (Did she know they say a kid costs $250,000 to raise?) Doesn't she want some time with her husband before they have a kid? Is she gonna finish high school? What's she going to do when she's all by herself, her husband is deployed in the military, and she has to raise a kid alone? Don't bombard her or attack her with questions, but give her a healthy dose of reality and ask the hard questions. Try to get her to see that she might not have thought this out 100% <3
Lauren C.

by Prettytough14 on 12/15/2011 5:46:25 PM


There's this guy in my class that a lot of girls like, (not me, though) and this girl who's 2 years older than us is sorta stalking him. She tries to walk with him everywhere, and has the oppertunity to because our campus is huge. Recently, she's been taking his friends aside and asking them why they hate her so much and saying that he doesn't want to talk to them so they need to back off. She also changed her relationship status on facebook to "in a relationship". It's super creepy because she's 13 almost 14 and he is 11! If they were actually in love or whatever it'd be different, but he thinks she can be weird sometimes. To add to this, my friend and I were teasing him a little, and our school is small, so word spread like wildfire. Somehow, it morphed into me saying they were dating out of school, but I NEVER SAID THAT!!!! If anything my friend joked about them hanging out in a closet, BUT IT WAS A JOKE!!!!!! Knowing this girl, she will murder me! What do i do!


Lynae P.

by kiki22301 on 12/10/2011 2:37:28 PM


I'm shy, and that causes a lot of trouble for me because I send the wrong/negative body language. If I send signals to people, I don't mean it, but I just ignore them afterwards. I feel too shy to approach them, and they think somethings wrong with them. Doing this, I've developed some problems at socialing(find this weird) and I want to prevent this from happening. What should I do? Thanks a lot, Mod! it really helps!

Hey girlie,

You know you sometimes let your shyness get the best of you...so that's great! The first step is recognizing the problem. Next, take a deep breath and force yourself to do one thing outside your comfort zone each day. Smile to someone in the hallway that you know, sit at a new lunch table, raise your hand in English, etc. It's normal to feel a little shy sometimes, but deciding to overcome it shows a lot of strength! You can do this Smile Don't worry about not having a lot to talk about, or making a fool of yourself, or sounding silly, or whatever. The more you challenge yourself to be out-going, the more comfortable you'll be with it! <3
Lauren C.

by sready on 12/8/2011 8:49:09 PM


So I'm a sophomore, and the last time I really truly liked a guy was in 7th grade. My friend asked him out for me, like the dumb little 7th graders we were lol you know how that is, and he said no, and after that I have never like a guy as much as I did him. I'm kind of worried about it and even though I kind of like a guy now, I feel like I'll never be able to like a guy as much again. I think it's a mind thing that I'll eventually have to get over but idk what to do because it really worries me!

Hey babe,

You're totally right - you'll get over this eventually! It's not necessarily a bad thing that you're comparing guys to your 7th grade crush. You want to realllyyyy like a guy before you spend effort trying to flirt/date him, so you're being picky and seeing if they make you feel as happy as he did. That's totally fine! Smile As long as you're putting yourself out there, meeting guys and talking to them, trying new things, etc. ... you have nothing to worry about. You're taking advantage of opportunities to find new crushes and you're trying. That's all ya can do! You'll click with a guy and feel that "crush" feeling again soon <3
Lauren C.

by smileysevvie on 12/2/2011 10:10:33 PM


My BF asked if we could kiss, but we have haven't even been dating for a day!!!! I said no and he seemed disappointed...
is this a sign? HELP!!!! Frown


Lynae P.

by kkgirl4life on 12/2/2011 5:57:47 PM


Hey, check out my advice queen page please and thank you!!!!!!!!


by lexielu22 on 11/30/2011 4:59:46 PM


one of my best friends ever was like this also, I told a trusted teacher and now my friend is grateful I helped her! You can totally help your friend out here.

by dagymnast on 11/29/2011 6:43:11 PM


MOD MOD MOD!!!!!!!!!!
So at a church even in NewJersey, I got alll dressed up and met this boy. He gave me a rose and I gave him my number. Turens out he is 2 years older than me and lives in ..(city name edited out)... I not looking for anything serisous so we didn't mind the long distance. After weeks of him calling every night and us talking for hours, I think I relle relle like him, maybe even love. But now he won't even respond my fb messages! Last time I tlkd to him was like over a week ago and he was telling my cousin how much he likes me. I'm going to NJ for another church event, nd we had it planned we wud hav our first kiss together. How did it go from late nite sweet talking and roses to him totally ignoring me? What shud I do??? Please help

Hey babe,

Try not to assume anything - he could be super busy right now and not be able to respond. He could have also met someone who lives closer to his home who he can actually date which, even though he might have liked you a LOT, seems a bit more "real." And that's understandable! Long distance is tough when you're with someone you really love - it's even harder to start something long distance. Try not to bother him too much about it, even though I totally get how much this stings right now. Instead, focus on your own life - your friends, your clubs/sports/classwork, and the guys that you see every day. Try to meet them (or other new people through your activities/mutual friends) and put this behind you. You learned a lot about what you want in a guy, what you don't want in a guy, and how to deal with crushes because of this experience - and you got to enjoy communicating with a nice guy while it lasted. I know it's a bummer, but it wasn't a waste of time! Lots of love girl <3
Lauren C.

by emilyrm1903 on 11/25/2011 8:59:22 PM


I would personally tell him that he should stop because I wouldnt want to be around someone who smoked and got drunk its not a good enviroment to be surrounded by!! Just my opinion!!!!

by hearl on 11/24/2011 6:15:40 PM


how do u send a dear carol message?

by epsmisaacson01 on 11/22/2011 7:58:55 PM


In my opinion its better to stay away from bad boy types. For some reason we all are attracted to them, maybe even more than if they were just good guys. My parents are totally against me ever dating a bad boy guy. My friends who date them are always getting dragged into doing things, they end up hating what they did later. Stay away from them.

by luckykel on 11/21/2011 3:08:25 PM


Me and my BGF recently got in a fight about my BF, who is his bestie. I was telling my BGF about how he never texts me (we go to different schools) and he said that he prob doesnt wanna talk to me! I told him thats not a very nice thing to say, and he started swearing at me! This isnt the first time its happened, and I think my BGF might have anger management issues. His parents are divorced and they fight a lot, so I dont think he ever really knew how to treat people right. He once told us he smoked because he got depressed, but he never actually did. He also says big things like he would die for his GF (who is one of my BFFs) and that if he hurts her he has to hurt himself. I think he does a lot of things to get attention. I love him a lot and I dont want to fight with him, but sometimes he just goes overboard! What should I do?

Hey girl, you need to let your 'rents know or a guidance counselor. He may be overacting, but you never know whether or not he may be serious. So be a good friend and make sure he is getting the help he needs as he goes through this difficult time. It's better safe than sorry, seriously.

Alyssa B.

by froggy123luna on 11/19/2011 10:56:01 AM


Mod mod mod
Aww doesnt tht suck!? My bgf and i are really close! He even knows when i have my period and he isnt embarrassed by it!! Lol!! Funny right?!

Hey girl, there's no reason for him to be embarrassed by it, haha. Periods are totes natural.

Alyssa B.

by paramoregurl on 11/19/2011 12:59:36 AM


i kinda have this problem with my crush.... he and I like each other and he wants to ask me out and i really want to say yes but it is a known fact that he drinks and has smoked pot... other then these things, he is perfect for me. I would never do those things and kinda would tell him 1. dont ever do it around me and 2. anything you do under the influence is on you, no excuses if you kiss another girl or something. is it ok to date him and try to talk him out of these bad things and just stick by my policies or should i entirely forget him???

I think your 2 conditions are perfect. If you can look over his bad habits and wanna date him i say go for it. Youre not gonna be able to change him so forget that idea but as long as you dont get pulled into bad activities then i say youre fine. xoxo kerra 
Kerra S.

by mkroberts96 on 11/18/2011 8:27:29 PM


Hey I'm sorry bout what you're dealing with along with your friend. I know how you feel. My friend is hanging out with some bad kids and they're influencing him to get drunk and get high and everything. It's breaking my heart... Devin A.

by StupidChick on 11/18/2011 3:38:14 PM


it is true you cant change people. unless they want to change.

by j4zm09 on 11/18/2011 3:31:40 PM


MOD MOD MOD i like this boy and he likes me back, He asked me out and he took me on such nice date but now that we have been dating for like about 4 weeks I want to be able to be more close to him like i dont know how to through, I holded his hand but we haven't actually kissed yet he kissed me on the cheek but Thats it and were both stuck. How do i be close to him in a sweet way that wont seem... weird i guess. there's never really a right time to hug him or anything whats ur advice? thanks

Hey babe, 

Next time you guys come home from a date, tell him you want him to walk you to the door and make your move! He's probably too nervous to do it himself Smile xoxox
Devin A.

by mozilla10 on 11/18/2011 3:16:13 PM


aww, that stinks! I know how you feel. Getting involved in volunteering and hobbies has helped me steer friends in the right direction.

by alicia1998 on 11/18/2011 2:16:42 AM

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