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Boy or bestie: What to do when you and your BFF like the same guy

She won't stop talking about it! Is our friendship donezo?
47 Comments | Add Yours

hi, i have a problem. me and my best friend both like this guy that we're both friends with. she has been telling me he likes me and saying she doesn't like him anymore, but i don't know that i believe her. yesterday after school, me and him were practicing a guitar song and he asked me out. i was sooo happy, but i don't want to hurt my friend! i'm telling her at school tomorrow since she wasn't there today, any advice on how to break the news? she means so much to me, and i don't want to lose her as a friend, but this is also my first boyfriend and i really like him.

Just bring it up and be nice about it. Let her know youre trying to save her feelings and not hurt her. Im sure she'll be completely fine as long as your honest and nice about it. Good luck! xoxo kerra 
Kerra S.

by slowlanedriver11 on 12/13/2011 5:22:03 PM


I really like my BGF..and I'm sadly, really picky when it comes to guys. That's why I've never had a boyfriend, and haven't crushed on someone since 4th grade. (I'm 14 now.) So this is kind of a big deal.
But he likes one of my best friends. He says he's getting over her, slowly, but if she ends up liking him back he'd definitely be ready to go out. She's not interested though.
Another thing is, though, that he seems to almost like ME, too. We text a lot and can carry on a good conversation. He sits near me a lot, and he even plays with my hair. One time he even blew me a kiss when I bumped my elbow into him. I don't know if he's really a FLIRT, considering the fact that he's only had one girlfriend. But he sends a lot of mixed signals. I'm so confused. I've been trying really hard to get over him, and I'm on my way there, but how can I when he's giving me mixed signals like this?

Hey girlie,

Try to relax about all the "if this happens, then I'll lose him" business. It seems like your bestie doesn't feel the same way toward your BGF, so you probably have nothing to worry about! Give him some time to get over her by being a great friend. Hang out, text, and become a normal part of his life. Then, when some time has gone by, turn up the flirting. Flirt, tease him, joke around, and compliment him even more than you do now. See how he responds! If he seems into it, then that might be a clue he's crushing on you. If it makes him feel a little awkward, he might not share those feelings. Don't come on too strong, but just amp it up a little so you can really try to read him. If he seems like he isn't crushin', you can tell yourself you tried your best - and you can accept that, sometimes, you just can't make someone like you back. But you should have no regrets! Instead, focus on stuff that makes you really happy and distract yourself by picking up a new hobby, meeting new people somehow, joining a new sport/club, etc. Be patient and remember that, over time, you'll slowly feel better and better til you've finally moved on Smile
Lauren C.

by PunkRose88 on 12/9/2011 9:13:02 PM


Hey TheMentalistgurl, there are a couple of ways you could go about asking a guy out. The way you do really depends on your relationship with him. If you're close just send him a text or call him. If you've never spoken to him before, get someone you know to introduce you two, begin talking to him and ask him out in person. Hope this helps! Smile Smile

by Lynae P. on 12/9/2011 6:18:02 PM


How do you ask a guy out? Any suggestions?

by TheMentalistgurl on 12/9/2011 6:11:52 PM


Mod mod mod!!!
My bgf is super sweet. I can tell him anything, and even if it's concerning his best friend he won't tell unless Im ok with it. His gf is my bff. She's also super trustworthy and I tell her things right before I tell my bgf. I've only known my bff since the beginning of the summer. A few of my other friends say that I follow her and my bgf, who I also just recently met around. They also say that I trust my bff more than them. They think that since they've known me for longer they're entitled to more info. But I just can't trust them as much. One of my friends absolutely hates my bgf. She thinks he's super mean but he's the nicest person I know. What can I do to make my friends understand that just because I've known them for longer doesn't mean I have to tell them every single thing. Thanks so much!

Hey girlie,

Just try not to rub their faces in your bestie-relationship with your BFF/BGF. I doubt they're reacting to anything other than plain jealousy! Try to split your time well between all your friends so they don't get jealous, and try not to talk too much about your BFF/BGF when you're around your other friends. ("Omggg, Ashley said the funniest thing yesterday!" gets old after a few times if you're already feeling jealz, ya know? Also not saying Ashley is her name haha, just making it up.) You're entitled to be friends with WHOEVER you want, so don't let them get you down. Just work a little harder to make everyone feel valued as a friend - which they are! Smile 
Lauren C.

by Nmun2000 on 12/8/2011 11:16:43 PM


Hi, I'm Casey. Anyways, please help me! I like this boy, Ryan, and the thing is he has a girlfriend. Now I would NEVER ever in my life try and steal a boy from someone (Not like I could, anyways) but I just can't get him from my mind. He is so amazing. And I've also found this quote that says "Never give up on something you can't go a day without thinking about", which is exactly how it is with me. I mean Ryan is everything and more that I look for in a guy. He's a junior, sixteen, can drive, is in band with me AND plays the same instrument, he's cute, has dark curly hair, is super nice, fun, funny, interesting, smart, and so much more. We're kind of friends, I mean we're in a small, close band and we play the same instrument, of course we're friends. I just, I'm not sure what I should do. I have a huge crush on him if you can't tell, it's pretty bad. Please help me, Thanks! Laughing


Lynae P.

by caseyf13 on 12/7/2011 5:01:20 PM


thx laurne c you help me alot too and i hope i will find the right guy for me in the future

by corky987 on 12/7/2011 11:46:02 AM


Thank you Lauren C! I really appreciate it. =) I wanted to tell someone but obviously I couldn't tell anyone at my school... So Thanks! I feel loads better. =)

by peacelovepuppies on 12/4/2011 6:12:44 PM


PLEASE HELP!! Ok so this one rly cute guy likes me & i like him...but from what he has been telling all of my friends, he says hes afraid im going to say no to him! He also told my bgf whos colse to him that and i quote, "i really like her but do you think she likes me? Should i ask her out?" my bgf said yes she does like you back and you should ask her out. DO YOU THINK HE LIKES ME?!? Y is it taking so long for him to ask me out?!?

Hey girl,

It sounds like he likes you! He's been spreading it around a lot, so it's probably true. To make him feel more confident and comfortable (since it seems like he's scared of being rejected), talk to him a little more, flirt, and be laid-back and friendly around him. All of these things will make him a lil more sure of himself! And it'll help you hint that you like him back. Then, when he works up the confidence after getting the hint that you like him too, he could make that move! Smile 
Lauren C.

by paramoregurl on 12/3/2011 11:51:27 PM


Well, you know what they say...right now is the time to find your bridesmaids, not your groom(:

by DanceFreak99 on 12/3/2011 11:40:45 PM

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