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Boy or bestie: What to do when you and your BFF like the same guy

She won't stop talking about it! Is our friendship donezo?
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47 Comments | Add Yours
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MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
I like this guy, but he has a girlfriend and they're super serious. I was kind of friends with the girl (or at least I was starting to be) until I found out how serious she was with him. I really want to be happy for both of them, but it's really hard!!! Is it bad that I like him? I feel really bad. Thanks MOD!




Hey girl,

Don't feel bad! It's not bad or wrong for you to like him at all - in fact, it's totally natural and we've all been there. If you're just being a friend and keeping this crush a secret so you don't ruin their relationship, that's the way to go. It would only be wrong if you were flirting, being affectionate, and trying to get them to break up. You can't control your feelings sometimes, so if you're crushing but also being friendly and respectful of their feelings, don't feel bad at all Smile 
Lauren C.

by peacelovepuppies on 12/3/2011 11:38:16 PM

 
 

I hate it when friends get broken up over crushes, it just isn't worth it. I wish their was some sort of compromise, basically I'm saying i wish there was no such thing as jealousy. It's not fair when NOBODY gets the guy. I just wish that friendships wouldn't end over a guy because it's a temporary thing. Of course I guess I don't understand; I've never gone through this.

by christineah111 on 12/3/2011 11:21:27 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
so i started talking to this guy, and he said he really liked me and we started talking more and more but he said he didnt want a relationship. Then, one day he suddenly stopped talking to me completely without reason. He then started flirting like crazy with this girl three years younger than us and way more immature. What is going on here?




Hey girlie,

He sounds kinda confused about what he wants - he liked you, then he didn't want to date, but he still liked you, then he didn't like you, then he liked this girl, then he wanted to date this girl...blah blah blah. He sounds all over the place, which a lot of teen boys can be! Ugh. But it's likely that he wants to enjoy being single by flirting with whoever catches his attention, have a few different crushes, bounce around from girl to girl, etc. Try not to take this too personally! He probably just wanted a change or realized that his crush feelings for you weren't what he thought they were. It's impossible to know for sure. But he's moving on and chatting with other people, so you should totally keep your eyes open for the next guy with crush potential! <3 He's out there!!
Lauren C.

by LissieLou on 12/3/2011 11:16:54 PM

 
 



MOD-
so last year I was really close with this guy, and we talked all the time, but this year we don't have any classes together and we're both super busy with AP classes so we hardly ever talk. it's really sporadic though, like last weekend i texted him good luck in his crosscountry meet, and we ended up talking from like 10pm to 3 in the morning because he was pulling an all-nighter with his cousin and he wanted me to stay up with him. yet since then i think we've talked once..it's so hard because I really miss talking to him but I don't want to be annoying! what should I do to try to reconnect, but not be pushy? thanks <3 you guys are the best




Hey girlie,

You're good at finding reasons to talk to him already, so that's great! You just have to be a lil more consistent about it. Instead of texting once in a blue moon, try talking to him once a week. Then, gradually, talk to him a couple times a week, then every other day. Do this over time so you don't seem like you're coming on too strong! But you definitely want to stay on his radar and grow closer as friends, so keep it up! It seems like he really likes talking to you and likes your company (since he wanted you to stay up so late with him and his cousin), so that's definitely a good sign Smile
Lauren C.

by serafinasunshine23 on 12/3/2011 10:58:33 PM

 
 

You have to know what you want and if you think you can be happy in a relationship with him you need to make the move. Your friend may not like it but when it comes to guys we like you need to do best what is for you. What you dont want is a fwb thing where he ends up playing the both of you because he knows you both like him.

by luckykel on 12/3/2011 10:36:39 PM

 
 

That happened to me and my friend once. We're not friends anymore but not for that reason. It wasn't too horrible and ended up ok.

by theatreluver26 on 12/3/2011 9:08:01 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD, LYNAE P. He likes sports all of them, his fave team is Ole Miss.... his hobbies {lol} ....Girls JK uh, sports... and his b day is saturday... so i need two ideas. HeLp pLz!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOX LOVE YA, Heather

 

You could get him a sports calendar or poster and a gift card to a sports store like Dick's Sporting Goods or Sport Authority. Hope this helps!! Smile Smile

Lynae P.

by GummGirl2011 on 12/3/2011 8:52:17 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD Hey i am having a CHRISTMAS PARTY AT SCHOOL and I am going to get everyone a small present (except my bff and the girl's name i drew} but i think its time to let my crush know im crushing on him (seeing as i have been for 4 yrs) i want to get him something special and give it to him after school, when we r alone.... but im kinda...super nervous and i dont know what to get him! help plz!

 

Hey girl, mhm do you have any idea about his interests or hobbies?

Lynae P.

by GummGirl2011 on 12/3/2011 8:32:35 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!! (i posted before but i want to get more opinions)This guy that i liked for over a year were in all of the same classes last year, he would walk to classes together when his best friend was sick, he would tease me, and he flat out said in front of our art table that my eyes were beautiful, but this year we're in none of the same classes (except chorus) and we don't talk that much anymore. I still like him, so what do I do? Thank you for helping, Gabby.

 

Hey girl, I think you should start talking to him in chorus. See if you can sit closer to him and try chatting with him before and after classes. Ask for his number too. I bet he still likes you so  make a move. Hope this helps!! Smile Smile

Lynae P.

by singingintherain on 12/3/2011 8:29:39 PM

 
 

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by iluvmusic♥ on 12/3/2011 7:22:48 PM

 
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