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Dear Carol: My mom says I'm too young to date

I am 11, and my mother says I am way too young to date. It’s not like I even know any boys, but still my mother and...
100 Comments | Add Yours

Hey izzygirl13, nope there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. It's better to wait and get in a relationship with someone you like, then to suffer with someone you have no feelings for. That wouldn't be fair to you or him. When the time is right, you'll find a guy. Hope this helps! Xoxo

Do you think it's normal or totally dumb that i haven't had my first BF and I'm 13??? I know there is no need to rush it but everyone seems to starting date more and more. I mean i have a crush and everything but i don't now if he will ever ask me out and I don't want to say yes to just anyone...HELP? Lynae P.

by izzygirl13 on 1/27/2012 5:39:51 PM


well, I never really get in the subject of dating with my mom, and Im pretty shy to talk to her about it. ANyways, i like this guy and my BFF likes him too. But the thing is everytime i like a guy, f=my BFF likes the saem guy!! Like a week after I tell her i like him she likes him too? Is she really my friend? im starting to get kind of mad at her because i never show off about him or anything or talk about him and she goes ohh he was flirting w/ me and checking me out wich im sure he wasn't! Hes really nice to me though and thats good. But i odnt know how he found out i liked him, because i never told any ofhis friends. Im starting to think it was my BFF so she can get him to like her and for him to think im weird or something im very stressed out and dont know what to do b/c i dont want to hurt her feelings. and what do I do if he akss me out? i really like him but idk if my mom lets me date. And i want to say yes. Please help!

Hey girl,

Honestly, it does sound like she's trying to do the same things as you. Who knows why, maybe for attention or because she looks up to you/wants to "beat' you. But whatever the reason, it's super annoying! You don't always have to tell her exactly who you're crushing on though. I have friends that I talk about crushes with, then I have other friends that I talk with about other things (music, movies, etc). Try dishing about crushes with another friend and keep your convos with your BFF crush-free. That way, there's no risk of her stealing it or copying you! As for dating, if he asks you out tell him the truth: "I would love to go out with you! I just gotta clear it with my mom first - you know, parents!" Smile and really make sure he knows that you want to go out with him. Then, you'll have to ask your mom. It won't be nerves-free, but you can do it! Just tell her you've gotten to know this really nice, responsible, respectful guy and he asked you out, so you wanted to know if you could go grab pizza with him for dinner on Saturday (or whatever - keep it casual the first date...and not too late at night). Make sure she knows how great he is and how much you want to go on the date. It's worth asking!!
Lauren C.

by Kukutzy on 1/27/2012 12:35:58 AM


thnx lynae! but wat do i do about my mom? i just dont know how to talk to her! urgh!! and im 13!!!! so its not like im a baby anymore, but i dont think she sees it like that!!

by Queenbook on 1/26/2012 10:32:36 PM


My mother doesn't lemme date either. We are super close but i asked her once and she said no. I asked her again, no reply. Frown

by GettersLove on 1/26/2012 5:56:19 PM


I have a problem like that I am almost 13 and I've had boys ask me out. I want to talk to mom about it. We aren't super close, and I don't want it to be awkward.... Do you have any suggestions

Hey Girl,

It's always an awkward situation to talk to the 'rents about your love life. But most of the time, moms act pretty cool about it! Why don't you just sit down with her and tell her about the situation and that boys have asked you out. Ask her what she thinks you should do and what age she was when she had her very first date. Maybe this conversation will bring you guys closer together! Have a little faith - it'll be just fine!

alicia m. alicia m.

by Callie620 on 1/26/2012 6:58:11 AM


My mom and I made a compromise that I couldn't date till I was 16. She said if there was a dance or party I was gonna go to with a guy was fine. We even talked about if I didn't want to go to a dance with a guy and figured a way to tell him nicely that I don't want to. Seriously, most if you talk about who likes you and the word dating, they'll open up and give you advice. Hope this helps!

by Gabriella123 on 1/22/2012 8:44:26 AM


Hey Everyonee. I Really Like This Post, Because I Can Really Relate. I'm Thirteen, And I Have Done Some Bad Things In The Past, Which Has Made My Chances Even Less Of Being Able To Date. I Really Want To Be Able To Date, My Parents Say They Don't Want To See Me Hurt, But I Feel There's More To It.. Please Comment, So I Can Know If There Is More People Out Their Like This(:

by browneyedgirlinlove on 1/21/2012 6:11:39 PM


So, I'm sitting here with my cousin and she and I agree on the same thing. We're both 12 BTW. So what we think you should do is see the situation from both of your points of view. Your mom is different, and dating probabaly means something different for her than it does for you. So try to explain to her what your (or our) version of dating is. If she still says no, give it time. By the time you're 13, your mom may see you as mature and trust you more. Before that, try to build a good relationship with your mom. Make her your best friend.

by Swiftie33 on 1/21/2012 3:28:30 PM


Hey Queenbook, just break it to him gently that you don't like him the way he likes you. Explain to him that your friendship is too important to you to have something romantic ruin it. As long as you're nice and clear he'll get it. Hope this helps! Xoxo

I like this guy, and he's soooo cute, but my mom sez im too young to date! (im 13) But its not like i want SERIOUS dating! Just hangin' out is cool w/ me, but my mom wont hear it. But, just cuz my life is like that, there's this guy that i txt, and he came to me 4 advice on relationships, and now he's admitted that he sorta likes me!! I dont really like him like that, but i don't wanna hurt his feelings! What do i do? Lynae P.

by Queenbook on 1/21/2012 1:22:54 PM


Same here mazzie! I can't date till I'm 16. But if you really think about it, it would be hard dating in junior high. But it sounds easier to do in high school. All you could do is just say high to each other in the halls really. Frown

by Gabriella123 on 1/20/2012 8:53:06 PM

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