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Betrayed by a bud? What to do right now

We’re showing you how to make it through tough times…
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49 Comments | Add Yours
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MOD MOD PLEASE!!
I don't know what to do! My BFF has been really mean to me and I don't want to b BFFS anymore because she is that mean. But I cant stop crying Cry




Hey girlie,

Aw, you'll get through this! If you don't want to be her BFF anymore, that's ok. It's your personal choice! Try to distance yourself by hanging out with your other friends more often, being less available if she texts and wants to make plans, etc. Say hi in the halls to keep things friendly enough (so she doesn't start a conflict), but pulling away will gradually help you both move on. You should also try joining a new club or organization around town (youth group, volunteer group, etc.) - that way, you can meet more people who share your interests so you don't feel lonely! Smile
Lauren C.

by kittypryde676 on 4/19/2012 4:39:49 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!!
So to day one of my friends told me that they over heard my BFF and my other close friend say "let's hurry before she gets it of her class room" "she is already out of class" "lets pretend we dont see her" and they were talking about me! I left a note in my BFF's locker. I haven't talked to her I'm avoiding her and I think she is avoiding me too. What should I do?




Hey Chica,

Being betrayed by your BFF is always hurtful! You have to talk to her to find out what's going on. If she's mean to you, then you should stay away and find other friends but definitely give it a try and talk to her first! Good luck!
alicia m.

by Stephanie11110 on 4/18/2012 9:57:02 PM

 
 

Mod Mod Mod
I just got back from my 8th grade DC trip, and the end was really awkward. There is this one guy (who I DO NOT like like) who is like my brother. We;ve known each other forever, tease each other, but care at the end of the day. So anyways, we found out he likes my best friend and he started flirting with her. She's not doing anything about it; I think she may actually like it! My other friend and I think that she may be desperate for attention because she broke up with her boyfriend a couple months ago. I don't want to make her mad, but it is so awkward!




Hey girly! Unfortunately the last thing that you should do is interfere with their relationship. She may just be doing it for the attention or she may really like him, you dont know which though so let it be. Even though it is hard and awkward they have to make their own mistakes.  
Ana D.

by Doodle600 on 4/13/2012 1:28:38 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!!!!!
I have a huge problem with one of my BFFs. My BFF is having drama with another guy, and she's been really depressed about the rumors that other people have spread about their relationship. Naturally, my other BFF and I have been trying to help, trying to straighten things out for her, trying to make her happy. However, today, the guy said that my BFF told him that she didn't want me and my other BFF to get involved in the relationship because we would try to make choices for her! We never did such a thing, and we both found it incredibly insulting that she couldn't count on us. And if she didn't want us involved, she still talked about all the drama in front of our faces, making it hard not to intervene. When we talked to her about it, she just said okay, she won't talk about it in front of us anymore. But based on the info I've heard from her, I am still extremely concerned.




Hey girl! It sounds like your BFF is just super stressed out. If she is talking to you about it, dont get offended because she just needs someone to vent to and since your are her friends, you are kind of the place to go. Even though it is hard not to get involved, she does need to make her own decisions and just let her know that you are there to help incase she changes her mind. Be there for her and let her  talk to you, but dont get too involved.  
Ana D.

by Emilicious on 4/13/2012 1:26:40 AM

 
 

MODMODMOD:
One of my best friends is having a bday party in a few weeks, and im invited... Last year another one of my so-called "best friends" turned out to be bullying me, and now we never speak. She (the bully) hates my guts. My best friends who's having the party, said that she's also inviting my enemy and asked if i was fine with it... I am, but i think the bully will start a major cat fight if she finds out im going too... I really want to go to the party, cuz i love my best friend, but i dont know if i should go or not because of the bully. HELP!!!



Hey girlie,

I think you should go to the party and just distance yourself from her.  Show her that she can't and won't bother you that night, and if she tries to, just ignore her. Jordan S.

by ostar21 on 4/9/2012 7:59:25 PM

 
 

So I have this group of friends that told me that I have changed a lot this year, but none of them can really tell me how. All that they are telling me is that I am hanging out with the guys a lot more and that I am not the same as I used to be. They told me that I am not keeping my "priorities straight" when it comes to my guy friends and girl friends. My best friend is the one who is the most irritated with me and I don't know what I am supposed to do. I absolutely hate being in the middle of drama and this has been going on for a while. I have tried to talk to her and after we talk she says we are fine and then doesn't talk to me. I know that people grow apart and everything, but I just don't feel excepted by her and my other friends anymore because they think that I have changed and no one knows why. If you could help me by giving me some advice that would be amazing. Thank you so much!

by smile8) on 3/28/2012 8:09:39 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!!! Ok SO Now That Its Officially Summer Where I Am Right Now It like Getting high Of 26 so its really hot!!! SO I Was Wearing My Shorts but now Girls are saying ohh Their So Slutty and saying that my butts showing meanwhile the store manager even checked that it didn't! And Now One Of Them Lets Call Her Kiss She Is The Rudest Of Them All She Is Saying Oh Well Who cares i'd look better in the Slutty short shorts cause i have the butt to do it .. Thats what she is telling me at school And im so annoyed by it! I Didn't tell my teacher but i asked her If My Shorts were short and she said they were FINE ... Im Really Upset.. Can u Give me advice Please?

 

Hey girl!  Just ignore her.  Wear those shorts with confidence, because as long as you feel great in them, that's all that matters!

xo,

Channa R.

by mozilla10 on 3/22/2012 6:56:43 AM

 
 

My issue was, Before i moved to CT from Florida,my friend promised i would have special place in her heart. they we were video chatting, and she was with a new Bff

by AnniexGirl on 3/9/2012 6:03:54 PM

 
 



MODERATOR
one of my friends today was looking at my old bus pass and she was like "you were fat back then, not fat but a little chubbers, you were a little porker weren't you?" and i cried and i want to confront her about, and I also want to know how to get over it. thanks.

 

Hey girl, well you're a confident beautiful girl! Just laugh it off when someone says that. Make a joke back, like "those were the good 'ol days." If they continue, just completely ignore them and walk away. If you confront her, tell her how it made you feel. That it really wasn't cool she said that and you didn't appreciate it. 


lauren r.

by Gigilove321 on 3/7/2012 7:16:10 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!
Ok, so my birhtday is coming up, and i was just chatting with my best friend, and she said she can't come to my party because she is supposedly hanging out with her "boyfriend" even though i can tell she is making it up. trust me. she even said she is hanging out with him "ALL" weekend so she cant even come over for dinner with us. Frown "sigh"
thanks for the help
-twilight*gurl
p.s. it really annoys me that she lets her "boyfriend" get in our way

 

Hey! Sorry to hear that , but think about it, if she really is lying she's not likely to be much fun at your party even if she did come. If you're sure you should confront her. Ask her why she doesn't want to go. Oh and Happy Birthday Smile 


Helen S.

by twilight*gurl on 3/2/2012 5:36:34 PM

 
 


MOD MOD MOD
i have a problem. my friends just recently made up a group. Sounds great, huh? but only problem is am not invited. Me and my friend have the same group of friends so i don't know why i wasn't invited. i tried asking about it but apparently i wasn't even supposed to know. So when i ask whether i could join they all say MYOB. this really hurts my feelings and i tried letting them know but it is the same response. I just act like it doesn't matter to me but when really it hurts inside. what should i do.


 


Lynae P.

by akaprincess on 2/25/2012 4:48:20 PM

 
 

OK, so my "good friend" wrote some innapropiate things on my super close BFF sistahs facebook page and we ALL got in trouble and now we're mot allowed to hang out with her, just me and my sis. The Problem is my ex-friend hates me and my sis now and now I feel so bad. Frown ANY ADVICE?

 

Hey lanilulu, you should just talk to her. Let her know you don't think any of that stuff your "good friend" wrote is true. She may also be mad becuase she may think that your other friend will turn you against her since she doesn't like her. So reassure her you are still her friend, and any drama that the two of them have going on doesn't affect your relationship with her. You are going to have to work on being neutral if the two girls ever bad mouth each other around you. Hope this helps! Xoxo

Lynae P.

by lanilulu on 2/24/2012 8:54:06 PM

 
 

My so called bff told the boy I likes girlfriend tht I like him and she told him so I'm in a rather tight spot right now because his girlfriend is mad at me and he is too Frown *poof*

by iluvlogan on 2/20/2012 1:18:43 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD! Okay so this girl who is special needs has no friends, and I felt bad so I befriended her. A few days ago my friend told me shes a lesbian! I didnt immidiatly believe her. Then, I asked a few other people and they said she is 2! I think she likes me! WHAT DO I DO?!

 

Hey flipper2ooo, don't jump to conclusions just because she's a lesbian. But if you are getting hints that she likes you, make it clear to her you aren't interested. Once you let her know I'm sure she'll back off. Hope this helps! Xoxo

Lynae P.

by flipper2ooo on 2/17/2012 8:24:51 PM

 
 

Ok so i have a problem. I have a friend who gets mad easily (amber) . she hates one of my bffs just cus she hardly ever talks (katie) ! ambere always yells at her and gets in her way so katie will have to pushh past her amber can just yell at her! (ok sry kinda confusing) and today i was joking with her and pulled her headband so it waas bout 2 fall off and she slapped me really hard and said "wth u joke wayyyyyy to much (even tho thaat was the first thing i did to her that day and the day was more thatn halfway over) get away from me!!" and then later in the hall i mistunderstood her when she asked a question and she was like "OMG tht is wayyyyyy not right u r SOOO STUPID!" and shes mad at me for no apparent reason/ Frown theres another problem to: i cry so easily! its really embaresing and whenever someone says just a little mean my eyes water and i can hardly stop it! i hate it. help?

by noodle&poodles on 2/17/2012 5:18:48 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD- okay so i have alot of friends. everybody likes me, but my bff acts like we are bffs (which we are) but then infront of my face acts like that with another girl.then when we plan to hang out, she practutly yells our plans when she is around her other friends. i think its to make them jeleous and here is another thing. every wensday my church has youth group and i brought her one time and this guy asked her and she said yes yadda yadda yadda and now i think she only stays friends with me beacuse of her boyfriend. Tonight she is over at her friends house for a sleepover that she ditched ours plans to go to. Then lied to my face! I am getting really tierd of it and she acts like everything is fine. i have a whole new group of friends that i sit with and im fine without her but i dont know what to do! im not a mean person and i know if i told her this she would "cry" and start drama. what should i do??? plz help me thanks




Hey girl,

I wouldn't be mad at her for having other best friends (there's nothing wrong with that - she has her own life!), but ditching you to hang out with other people isn't cool. Try talking to her soon and just tell her the truth - you were kinda hurt when she bailed on your plans to do something with other friends. Just be honest about your feelings. See what she says, if she apologizes, and if it happens again. If it does keep happening, it's totally ok to distance yourself and spend more time with those other friends. As long as she's making time in her life for you though, try to understand that she does have other friends and responsibilities. She shouldn't mistreat you, but you gotta cut her some slack too and accept she isn't ONLY your friend Smile It's all about balance!
Lauren C.

by lovepeace101 on 2/10/2012 11:57:28 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD- we got a new girl and she's really pretty and I have no classes with her but my BFF has 3 and she made me promise no matter how cool she is she will always b my BFF and I agreed but now she talks about Danielle all the time and at the same time she says she doesn't like her because she called one girl fat and another guy gay. Our school got in trouble and we have to wait till Thursday to sit with our friends and I want her to sit with us but ii don't want her to come between me and my bffs friendship HELP?!?

 

Hey softballismyBFF, maybe you could plan a sleepover for all three of you. Have popcorn, rent great movies and invite them to your house. Something like this will bring the three of you together and set up a friendship involving all of you. Hope this helps!! Xoxo 

Lynae P.

by softballismyBFF on 2/10/2012 4:49:28 PM

 
 

MOD! So my friend (let's call her E) and I like the same guy. And I'm totally OK with that! Well, if she wasn't being so rude about it. I have two friends who talk to this guy (let's call him L) a LOT. So whenever E tells me a conversation they had, I think it over. It never sounds like something L would say! So I ask my buds and they say that it doesn't seem like L to say that. E's lied to me twice in two months about L. And she acts like she's the only one who can like him! And the way E talks about L implies that she likes him only for his looks! When I think of L, I don't see just looks. I think of him as a person, not as some random guy at the mall! She always has to make things into a compitition. I just wish I'd realized sooner. I'm sick of her being a jerk to me and my other friend. And I'm sick of her contests. I just don't know what do do about her! What can I even do?!

 

Hey Cra-Z-Brunette, you may need to take a break from her. Spend more time hanging with your other friends. It may also be time to re-evaluate your friendship. A real friend wouldn't turn everything into a competition, lie or brag to you. Just take some time to think about it chicky. Xoxo

Lynae P.

by Cra-Z-Brunette on 2/8/2012 6:24:50 PM

 
 

So my best friend lets say her name is Jamie and I liked the same guy, lets say his name is Austin. He liked her so she asked me if it was ok, I said yes knowing that she wouldnt go through with it cause she isnt allowed to date. So they dated kissed and broke up after 1 week. I was really upset. One week later my other bff lets say her name is Francesca told me they got back together. She truly has back stabbed me and i dont know what to do. she says she wont kiss him again cause before she was acting stupid but its almost vday and i dont know what ill do if she betrays me again.

by smileyface19 on 2/5/2012 7:38:41 PM

 
 

So my best friend lets say her name is Jamie and I liked the same guy, lets say his name is Austin. He liked her so she asked me if it was ok, I said yes knowing that she wouldnt go through with it cause she isnt allowed to date. So they dated kissed and broke up after 1 week. I was really upset. One week later my other bff lets say her name is Francesca told me they got back together. She truly has back stabbed me and i dont know what to do. she says she wont kiss him again cause before she was acting stupid but its almost vday and i dont know what ill do if she betrays me again.

by smileyface19 on 2/5/2012 7:08:33 PM

 
 

mod mod mod thx for the advice. it actually worked. my bff's realized i was ignoring them and being a looner so they came bak to me and now we promised each other never tlk behing ppl baks....... THX SOOO MUCH Smile

 

Glad we could help ya girl!!!! xoxo

 

 

Lynae P.

by cutiepie14231 on 2/3/2012 4:54:09 PM

 
 



Mod mod mod
I have 3 other bff's and they are constantly fighting and they are always putting putting me in between so then i just decided to stay with one of them, alyssa, and it didnt turn out so well so now we left each other cuz i realized she was talking behind my back. So now im a looner.....what should i do???




Hey Girl,

It sounds like all of your bff's weren't really bff's in the first place! I think you might just be better off by yourself if all they did was fighting, putting you in between them, or talking behind your back! Maybe it's time to find a new bff! Try to talk to some girls in your class and see if there's anyone you have stuff in common with! I'm sure you'll find a new friend in no time!
alicia m.

by cutiepie14231 on 2/2/2012 6:38:20 AM

 
 



Mod****
My life has really suucked lately. I was btrayed by a best friend and she started telling all my other friends not to like me and Guess what??? It worked somehow. All except my one best friend who was betrayed by her beforeexcept I've never done anything to her. So I started to hang out with her more and more. I got the lead in my play and one of my other best friend who auditioned and got a chorus part was ticked and started haraasing us over text and facebook message. My Best friend became depressed over this and the betrayal of Shelby(My ex-bestie). Her mm took her out of school and she takes online classes now. So Im kind of a loner now. I'm not socially awkward and I like to talk to people who want to hear me. I've been hanging out with aquatainces and have trouble talking heart to heart with them because they dont know me as well. I dont think anyone else will. How can I make my self more assure and confident?

 

 You just need to be willing to open up some. People appreciate honesty and people who are willing to be open. So i suggest you just try that and see what it gets you Smile xoxo kerra

 

 

 


Kerra S.

by 25noodles on 1/31/2012 8:28:09 PM

 
 

What's up girlies?:>)Join my club He Said, She Said
Have something that who have to get off your chest, or a question that you need an answer to? Maybe you just need advice on fashion/beauty/makeup/friends/parents/periods/ect. Well, the people in this club can help you with that, because your secret is safe with all of us!

by LudaKrys on 1/30/2012 4:38:49 PM

 
 

Hey everyone,please join The Walking Dead Fan Club,WWE Divas Only,The Gym Class heroes Fan Club,Adele's #1 Fans and my new club The Official HCR Fan Club!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE join those clubs or at least one of them lol thank you

by Princess Keziyah on 1/30/2012 10:40:27 AM

 
 

This is tough, I wish I had this advice when this happened to me!

Join my club, 'Orchestra Nerds and Band Geeks.' It's a loose and fun club where we talk about anything and everything- But especially music Smile Go to my profile to join!! svds

by svds on 1/29/2012 8:46:43 PM

 
 



MOD!MOD!MOD! Hi. I thought his girl was my friend. But she turned to be really mean. She called me a loser because another girl called me a loser. I don't know if she was just playing around because after that she said sorry but she really hurt my feelings. I don't know if she if just a real friend or is just pretending to be my friend? Thank you.




Hey girlie,

Only time will tell whether she's actually sorry or if she doesn't actually learn anything from this at all. Sometimes we can understand why someone slips up like this - she's trying to look "cool" and impress that other girl, so she goes along with something even though it'll hurt a friend's feelings. Then afterwards, she realizes what a mistake she made...and apologizes. It's good she said she was sorry, so try to give her a second chance. But if this kind of thing keeps happening, she might not be as "sorry" as she says <3
Lauren C.

by bookworm807 on 1/29/2012 11:40:23 AM

 
 

Hate when that happens

by Volley_ball2341 on 1/28/2012 11:36:18 PM

 
 

Hey Chicas!(: Need Advice? I'm here for U, girlies! Nothing is too embarrassing to ask(: I give advice on Boys, Fashion, Beauty, Money-Making, Friend Problems, Baking, Growing Up, Hair Styles, Makeup, Drama, School, Music, Studying, Getting Good Grades, and SO much more!(: So head over to my Advice Queen Page & I will try to get back to U ASAP!
Luv,
Madi(:

by *MusicGirl16* on 1/28/2012 10:00:31 PM

 
 

Hey girlies! Love Jane By Design Then join "Jane by Desigh Fan club"! We discuss new episodes and Get this, EVERY MONTH we have fashion projects and "snag the looks"! It's So much fun and a great place to hang! JOIN NOW! Go to my profile and find “Jane by Desigh fan club” click it, and join! Laughing

by cutiecayley333 on 1/28/2012 9:44:30 PM

 
 

love dancing?? want awesome advice?? join club: dancegurls4sure ! its for anybody and everybody who wants to talk about dance, performances, technique and dance advice!! i hope to hear from u soon!!TongSmile

by 13bella on 1/28/2012 9:05:28 PM

 
 

Hey Alykat18
stuff like that happens 2 me alot
check out my advice queen page and i can tell u wat i did and wat might help
XOXO

by 2-cute-2-b-true on 1/28/2012 7:57:21 PM

 
 

Hey Kgirlpanda, check out this link to a helpful article about cheating friends. I think it will help you. Xoxo http://www.girlslife.com/post/2011/09/08/Help-your-friends-score-Aswithout-cheating.aspx



MOD
I think my friend is cheating off me in science class. Recently, she's been asking me the answers to ALL the work in class and gets upset when I won't tell her. I try to help by telling her what page it's on in the book or explaining it to her but she doesn't seem to want that. Also, I'm pretty sure she cheated off my paper in the last test (I sit beside her). I think she does this because she's jealous of me and another friend in our "group". We are in the gifted/talented program and get high marks but she has a mild learning disability so things just don't come as easily to her sometimes. I want her to do well but I don't want her to cheat off me. I think she'll get mad at me if I ask to move places in class. I don't want to lose a good friend over this. What should I do? Lynae P.

by kgirlpanda on 1/28/2012 7:56:00 PM

 
 

Hey Alykat18, yeah you should defintely say something. You could try asking them why they're so mean to everyone and that you're tired of them being rude. If you stand up to them they might stop harassing everybody else. Hope this helps! Xoxo



MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!!!!!
ok these girls at school have been really mean to me lately. it started because i don't play kickball at p.e. they just started yelling at me cause i don't want to play. they have called me "lazy, ugly, stupid, annoying, and a b****" i have never done anything to these girls ever! they are really mean to everyone and i know for a fact that no one likes them:/ but they have been just critizing every little thing i do!
i know i can handle it cause i have great friends and a loving boyfriend but its just getting really annoying...i have just been annoying them when they yell at me...should i say something to them?? what should i say?! thanks!! i feel like i'm just going to blow up at them... Lynae P.

by Alykat18 on 1/28/2012 7:06:00 PM

 
 

did u guys notice, it says "When you find out that has stabbed you in the bag.." ha ha. just noticed that

by adventuregaly on 1/28/2012 4:35:10 PM

 
 

Hey girls! If you need advice on just about anything, post on my advice queens page! I can give amazingly accurate advice on just about anything... I'm like a teenage girl genie!

by Fly1213 on 1/28/2012 4:11:41 PM

 
 

Trust is like a paper; Once it's crumpled, it can never be perfect again
-D.D. (Me)
This article made me think of this little thingy I wrote up Lol

by krazykotabug on 1/28/2012 3:49:13 PM

 
 

Hey Girls! Join my club, WRITING, My Love <3. This club is for those girls who have a deep passion for the art of Writing. <3
I've had this happen before it sucks but we're besties again Smile But it can never be exactly how it was before

by krazykotabug on 1/28/2012 3:48:04 PM

 
 

my ex-bestie started hanging out w/ a girl who was totally mean to me for no reason; so she ditched me for someone she just met and threw our 7 years of bestiedom down the drain. Meghan D.

by soccerlover99 on 1/28/2012 12:48:14 PM

 
 

Hey GirliesSmile Need help with ANYTHING?
school? drama? boys? besties? family? This club is just for that(: theres noo need to be embarssed to ask any question...there might be someone who is wondering the same thing(: Join My Club NOW<3 Advice Attackers♥

by princesschick1999 on 1/28/2012 12:30:28 PM

 
 

Hey everyone,please join The Walking Dead Fan Club,WWE Divas Only,The Gym Class heroes Fan Club,Adele's #1 Fans and my new club The Official HCR Fan Club!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE join those clubs or at least one of them lol thank you

by Princess Keziyah on 1/28/2012 12:20:15 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
my BEST FRIEND EVER had a party and didn't invite me....I know i wont get invited to everything but my best friends party....how would you feel??? But today she wants to hangout... I'm still sorta mad at her what do I say or do...plus I talked behinde her back and I feel really back "stabby" what should I tell her?

Hey girl,

Ouch, you talked about her to other people? You should probably apologize -- to them and her -- ASAP! As for the party, it's okay to tell her the truth that you were hurt, but listen to her side of the story, too!
Meghan D.

by princesschick1999 on 1/28/2012 11:56:34 AM

 
 

I would be mad if my friend stabbed me in the "bag" too....

by *sTaRsTrUcK* on 1/28/2012 11:31:13 AM

 
 

My beastie went out with my crush, it was stupid. I could think of how hurt I was. I didn't have anyone to talk to. This is because I'm distant with my mom about this stuff and my other friend felt bad for my "bestie". It's cause her parents got divorced the night before, that's when she got the text. I still can not trust her and my other friend has grown apart from me and my other friend. Though I have found other new friends that are fun to be around. Though sometimes I am lonely.

by amileofroses on 1/28/2012 11:14:27 AM

 
 

I hate when that happens....

by nerdisthewurd26 on 1/28/2012 11:12:36 AM

 
 

Yeah my ex-bestie is hated by everyone in class so she added me to tha list by not letting me hang out with my other besties so yeah...

by audz1199 on 1/28/2012 10:34:27 AM

 
 

first comment!

by tampagirl<3 on 1/28/2012 8:59:17 AM

 
 

I had an off on friend last year.It really stunk because my class was sorta weird and they would always gang up on me when the two of us would fight.

by snowver11 on 1/28/2012 8:32:07 AM

 
 

1st comment.....?
And yeah, my so called "bestie" told my crush I liked him last year and he told everyone and I had no idea she did that until this year when my REAL bestie told me, she thought I knew, and I said a few curse words about my "bestie" and my real bestie's like "Wow....I didn't know you could curse! lol" yeah, she thought it was funny cuz I used to go to a private school and I switched to public school, but I was too angry at my "bestie" to even care

by clem10 on 1/28/2012 6:45:21 AM

 
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