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My BFF has super low self-esteem--and it's driving me nuts

My best friend and I are very close, but she has such low self-esteem. She’s always saying things like “I’m dumb,” or, “I’m so ugly.” Then she...
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MOD MOD MOD! (and mod on my last post but I didn't know to write mod) I know a girl who dances with me. Ballet already makes people more body conscious, but my friend has been worrying me. She always says that she's too fat and everyone else is thin, when her stomach is flat. There's a boy she's talked about in her school who obviously likes her, but she doesn't think he does because she can't believe someone would like her. We all tell her that she's thin, but she worries that the # on the scale is too large for her age when it's NORMAL! She talks about needing to work out more and not eat so much sweets. I don't think she has an eating disorder, although I never see her in a scenario where it would be made obvious. How can we make her see she's a beautiful girl?

 

Hey girl, I think you need to get an adult to talk to her. It sounds like she's completely normal and thin but is sliding down a slippery slope where it can definitely get dangerous! Try and have another serious talk with her too. Sorry this is happening to your friend! 


lauren r.

by dragonsrox1000 on 12/1/2012 12:41:10 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!!!
I am 14 and a female and i'm 5'3 but i'm 10 pounds overweight.My ''friends'' make fun of me and stuff and it's to the point where I like get all upset and stuff and cry and won't eat for days at a time because they make me feel like disgusting and stuff and then it gets to the point where my parents tell me that if I don't eat they'll take me to the hospital.I guess the point is should I tell them how I feel or try to find some new friends?

 

Hey girlie! I answered this question on your other post, but it boils down to this: let your friends know how you feel and give them a chance to be better friends.  If things don't get better, ditch 'em for some new friends who make ya feel good. xoxo 


Kate G.

by taylor6158 on 8/24/2012 1:09:50 PM

 
 

My best friend has been my best friend now for basically 10 years. I love her! But we have had some differences lately but thats ok. Anyway on Instagram she takes photos off the internet and says they were taken by her and they weren't. The last time we hung out she was rude to me and i feel that i need to expose the fact that she does this. It't to many photos!!!!!!! EVERY single one of my photos are taken by me!!!!!!!!! It bugs me so much because she gets a lot of likes on them and she lies about a ton of other stuff to! She went to a summer camp and said that she will do a gymnastics program there every morning and i went on the camp site and theres no such thing as gymnastics there. Im fed up with it!!!!! What should i do?

by bridget.murphy134 on 8/23/2012 5:05:08 PM

 
 

Thanks so much!

by Appleduck101 on 8/17/2012 2:51:49 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD
I used to go to a regular school but then I transferred out and went to a gifted school and got very advanced in music. Now whenever, I go and see my old friends from my neighborhood school, they all consider me as some kind of genius. It's not only the kids, it's everyone. I guess that's not a horrible situation, but some of my old friends think I'm some kind of know-it-all and that I'm trying to be arrogant. I can't even talk about my school or music without feeling like I'm bragging. What should I do to prove to them that I am just as down-to-earth as I was before I left?

 

Hey girlie! If you're sure you aren't bragging (sometimes people do it without realizing), then the best thing you can do is avoid the topic altogether for a little bit.  If you only answer questions about school when you're asked, then people will calm down and you'll feel less like you're bragging.  If you don't want to avoid talking about school or music (and I wouldn't blame you!), then just remember to keep stories shorter and relevant to what everyone is talking about. xoxo 


Kate G.

by Appleduck101 on 8/17/2012 1:46:43 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
I when ever I sleep over my BFF's her older sis is always with us. She's really mean to my BFF and to me. When ever I leave she tells my BFF that everything goes wrong when I come and that I'm ugly and fat and makes really mean comments when I'm around. Its gotten to the point to where I ask my mom to pick me up WAY earlier than usual. I have really low-self esteem and this isn't helping. What do I do?

 

Hey girlie! Tell your mom or your BFF's mom, this girl is ABSOLUTELY bullying you and you can't let her make you feel down.  Until somthing can be done, have your best friend stay at your house so you don't have to deal with her sister. xoxo 


Kate G.

by cupcake8715 on 8/17/2012 1:45:52 AM

 
 



hi mods
i have a lot of baby cousins, but the ones i am closest to are 4, 1, and 1. The one year olds are twin girls and the 4 year old is a boy. They always talk about me babysitting them, but when im older. How old do you think i should be? Should i be over 13 because im 12 and dont know how to change a diaper yet. Whenever I ask them they just say that i can babysit them when im older. What should i do?

 

Hey chica! Babysitting little kids (like babies and a 4 year old) is a big job, and made even bigger when the babies are twins.  There are lots of things you need to know about babies to make it safe for you to be with them alone- think, if something happened (like one of the babies got sick), you wouldn't be able to do much to help them out. Instead of babysitting, ask if you can help watch your cousins when their mom or dad is home.  That way, you'll get some practice in babysitting them, but you have their parents in case you don't know how to handle a situation.  The parents have to decide when THEY think you're old enough to babysit- there isn't a magical age, it's all about how comfortable they are leaving their children at home with you! xoxo 


Kate G.

by pandasrock292 on 8/7/2012 11:21:54 AM

 
 



mod mod mod!!!
I've been friends with a girl for a really lllooooonnngggg time, but lately she keeps pointing out everything I'm insecure about and blowing it out of proportion. like one time I was sitting there minding my own business and she's like 'gosh ur chubby!!' i know I'm not fat but I'm not exactly skinny either. I've told her 2 stop but she won't. I think I'm starting 2 believe her. other than that she's been a really good friend and I don't want 2 lose her friendship but I want her 2 stop calling my fat. also she talks about one of my other friends that she doesn't get along with.

 

Hey chica! Everyone has a friend that they love 90% of the time, but that is a bully that other 10%.  The key to dealing with friends like that is to brush off their remarks as a little bit of jealousy.  This girl probably envies something about you and is making herself feel better by putting you down.  Don't worry about what she says. If you're comfortable with your body, keep reminding yourself that and just brush her comments off as insecurity on her part.  xoxo 


Kate G.

by nutmeg814 on 7/27/2012 12:39:04 AM

 
 

My best friend has 2 best friends like every other person. Me and another girl. The other girl is moving 2 Florida. That's very far away from where we live. At first i felt bad for her and thought we would be closer than ever. That's not exactly the case..She does sailing every summer and there are 2 girls who do it and they are soon 2 be 8th graders. We are soon 2 be 7th graders. My BFF is also god sisters with a friend in their group of friends. All she has been doing is hanging with them. I have heard they are nice girls. I know most of them. One of them i go on vacation with her every year. But she's more friends with my older sister than she is with me. My older sister is going into high school but she hangs out with kids that are older than her. Thats what my BFF is doing. She hurts my feelings whenever i text her she always is bragging about how her and her "friends" are having such a great time. My BFF and i had a sleepover last night and hung out. She was nice and prettybitchy

by bridget.murphy134 on 7/21/2012 7:08:30 PM

 
 

So my best friend has 2 best friends like most people. Me and another girl. The other girl is moving to Florida and that's waaaaayyyyyy far away from where we live. At first i felt bad for her and thought we would be closer than ever. But that's not really the case.... She does sailing every year in the summer and there are girls soon to be 8th graders and we are soon to be 7th graders. Don't get me wrong i hear their nice girls. But she has been hanging out with them ALOT. Like whenever i text her "Hey what's up?" She will always say "Downtown with (soon to be 8th graders)" She hurts my feelings because she's ditching me way to much for them. One of the main reasons i don't hang out with them is because my sister. My sister is going into high school but she hangs out with kids that are a year older than her. She made all of those friends because she switched schools in her first year of middle school. Thats how my BFF made her friends. (Sailing and school) One of the girls in their

by bridget.murphy134 on 7/21/2012 6:56:29 PM

 
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