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My BFF has super low self-esteem--and it's driving me nuts

My best friend and I are very close, but she has such low self-esteem. She’s always saying things like “I’m dumb,” or, “I’m so ugly.” Then she...
39 Comments | Add Yours

I have been having really hostile mood swings. I go from being happy go lucky to being completely depressed in a matter of minutes. i was just at the beach with my family and spent half the vacation upset about how things werent fair and how my sister got all the attention and i just have been feeling depressed and upset.i dont know what i should do.

Hey girl!  Mood swings are a totally normal part of growing up.  We all go through them!  Try to keep yourself calm by talking a walk or practicing some deep breathing when you start to feel a mood swing coming along.  xxoo 
Maggie P.

by FairyKari on 7/19/2012 12:17:00 PM


I have been best friends with my friend for three years and now I can't stand her. She makes fun of me and my other friends and I am tired of it. When summer starts up I feel like I won't have any friends.


Hey cutie! Sounds like this girl isn't really your bestie.  If you've already let her know that her constant put downs are hurting your feelings and she just won't listen, then it's time to start spending time with other friends.  As long as you don't join in with the teasing, your other friends will understand and I'm sure won't abandon you.  Good luck!  xoxo 

Kate G.

by macainwa on 7/18/2012 2:54:49 AM


I have a friend who thinks that acting a certain way will make her more likeable. For example, if my other friend and I order salads when we have a low-key lunch or snack, she will order a salad too just to look super healthy, she doesnt actually like salad but she does it to make herself look good whereas my friend and I will order the salad because we simply like it! She thinks she is too fat and she will take any comment about how she looks to mean that she is too fat or 'ugly'. She is neither. How do we tell her that she isnt fat or ugly and let her know that she doesnt have to do certain things to look good???

Hey babe, that's a bummer that your friend has such low self-esteem. Try to help her out by complimenting her. Don't go overboard, and don't always focus on her looks. But you can give her props on the things she does to help her feel better about herself. And if she's out with you guys, maybe you can try ordering something that you know she likes once in a while, just to show her that there's nothing wrong with liking what she does. 
Carrie R.

by cmfox99 on 7/16/2012 10:29:58 AM


That sounds just like one of my friends! Normally when she starts to fish for compliments I just tell her that it isn't true and she needs to stop bringing herself down. That normally does the trick.

by zozo2903 on 7/15/2012 12:24:56 PM


Hey Rainbows_rawr, pick a celebrity whose style you like. Save or print pics of them and look at some of the pieces you wear, so when you go shopping or putt outfits together you'll know what to wear. Also ask some of your girly friends about the places they shop. Hope this helps! No worries ask me all the questions you want, I'm here to help. Xoxo

How can I be more on a girlish side? I mean like they dress very pretty and they are pretty. But me, I dress bad I have no sense of fashion, and I'm just like I dunno how to describe myself. How can I get more on a girlish side?
( by the way sorry for the bugs I give you ) Lynae P.

by Rainbows_rawr on 7/11/2012 8:45:28 PM


Hey Rainbow_rawr, everyone gets a little emotional sometimes. This could just be a phase or something you'll have to work through. Whenever you feel yourself getting angry, take a few deep breaths and calm down. Writing out your feelings might help too. Hope this helps! Xoxo

I think I'm under stress or something! I keep getting angry and annoyed for everything people do, I dunno it gives me a headache and I feel like I wanna punch them in the face or I just want to scream! Also when people tell me something I feel like their yelling at me and I want to cry! Please help! Lynae P.

by Rainbows_rawr on 7/11/2012 8:31:51 PM


I'm really insecure, I weight (weight omitted by mod), I have acne in my nice, chin and forehead. WORST OF ALL I don't know who I am! HELP ME PLEASE

Hey girl,

Not many people can say they "know who they are" at your age... or 5 years older... or even 10 years older! Life is a process of learning about who you are, what you like, what you don't like, what you deserve, what you want to do, where you want to go, etc. Try to keep an open mind and don't pressure yourself to be a certain thing or act a certain way! Try new things and tackle each issue individually, without convincing yourself it's the end of the world. Like I said, your tween/teen years are all about adjusting - your bod is going through crazy changes, your life is speeding by and you're starting high school/college, AND on top of that you're still learning about your personality. It's not easy, but we're all doing it together! Smile Here are some article categories that might help ya:

Healthy Recipes, which are a great place to start if you're feeling like you could get healthier/lose weight (But remember - before you decide to lose weight/go on any type of diet, talk to your doctor to make sure you actually need to lose weight and you're doing it in a healthy way.) 

- Workouts, to get you moving and feeling great! Exercise doesn't only get you in shape - it makes you feel more confident, healthier, and happier! We swear! Choose a variety that sound like fun to you and enjoy Smile

- Get Rid of Acne, a whole list of articles to help ya clear up your face and get your confidence back.

<3 <3
Lauren C.

by Rainbows_rawr on 7/10/2012 9:22:37 PM


My family tells me they want me to be a girly girl, they tell me that when I was little I was cute and girly and now I'm a tomboy and I'm ugly my brother makes fun of my weight, and my acne on my face. What should I do? How can I have a healthy life style?

Hey girlie,

I answered another mod from you with links to lots of articles that will help ya Smile As for your family, the next time they say something that hurts you, try opening up and actually talking to them about how it makes you feel. Don't freak out and don't start an argument - just be calm and honest, telling them it hurts when they tell you to be one way, because you really just want to learn how to be yourself. Tell them you love them and their opinion matters to you, so it hurts when they tell you they don't accept you for who you are. Ask them to support you, not criticize you. I think if they realize that they're not just joking - that their words are actually making you feel bad - they'll think twice next time before they say something so critical <3
Lauren C.

by Rainbows_rawr on 7/10/2012 9:21:10 PM


i can totally relate to your bff

by income7thgrader on 7/9/2012 6:59:27 PM


And it's even more irritating because she's SO pretty! She has red hair and perfect skin and she's really nice . . . I don't get it. It probably doesn't help that I weigh 10 pounds less than her, but I'm not gonna gain weight to make her feel better. She's actually not fat, though she's pretty skinny.

by 7200wolfgirl7200 on 7/9/2012 6:26:40 PM

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