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Help! How do I get out of the friend-zone with my BGF?

I always seem to get friend-zoned because, unfortunately, I always fall for my BGF. I like my current BGF, and I've liked him before. The first time...
27 Comments | Add Yours
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MOD MOD MOD
I'm stuck in the same situation, he is my friend. And my friends ex. I really like him. I have a major crush on him, like the biggest one ever. He might like me, I read the one article about how to know if a guy likes you, and he does them, all but one since he doesn't stand tall (he is already very tall). I don't think I can talk to my friend because she isn't considerate of other's feelings. She says she doesn't know why he dated him or denys it or says she hates him. Help! What should I do?
Thx in advance

 

Hey! If you think he likes you try spending more time around him, send out some signals and see how he reacts. Ask if he's had any crushes since he and your friend broke up, or just ask if he could ever see you as more than a friend. There's nothing wrong with being direct, and honestly, it saves everyone a lot of time and energy trying to interpret every little hint. If he acts like it's weird, well, you can't help that, and then you'll know for sure how he feels. When I was younger I was told that honesty is always the best policy, but I don't think I really believed it until I grew up and went through some relationships. There is nothing inherently embarrassing about having feelings for someone, or expressing those feelings in a respectful way. It's all the peer pressure that tends to make crushes feel awkward and hard to deal with. So just make peace with the fact that you can't control him, or what he thinks, but you can control you, and if you believe that, it will give you all the confidence in the world to just go up and talk to any guy you want to, including your friend. Trust me Smile


Helen S.

by PeculiarGurl on 2/23/2013 1:52:36 AM

 
 


so there's this guy. I really him and you can tell he likes me. My bff told me to ask him out. Then he wants to meet my mom and we were thinking but joking that he wanted to ask my permission to date me. one problem my mom doesnt want me to date till im 16! HELP! btw if he asked me i would say yes




Hannah H.

by Luna8844 on 10/11/2012 1:57:36 PM

 
 

Well I have a BGF who I've known since we were both five and we r neighbors and hang out all the time, and I have a huge crush on him. Every time I like a different guy I always come back to liking him. He's admitted that he has wondered if he likes me and he thinks I'm cute, but he doesn't think we could date because we are "too good of friends" or we've "known each other too long". I wouldn't let anything mess up the fact that we r friends even if we dated and broke up! But the problem is I told this girl in my class that I liked the guy, and he told me on the bus today that she texted him and told him something about me. He wouldn't tell me what it is and I think she told him I like him! I really want to get out of the friend zone but I'm afraid he will be awkward around me after that. What should I do? Should I just give up? Should I talk to him about it? I don't want to make things awkward between us.


Hey girl,

It could mess up your friendship, but it could also be great! There's nothing wrong with staying friends and seeing what happens, so keep hanging out with him for a while and see if he changes his mind. If not, at least you have a great friend!

Meghan D.

by Sunny79 on 9/7/2012 11:50:56 PM

 
 



Mod mod MOD
I liked this guy at the end of last year (he is 13 like me)and then also liked an older boy during the summer(15). 15 asked me out and I said no bc I have a lot on my mind bc my aunt was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. And he isn't the best person. He lost his virginity when he was 13 and we disagreed alot before he even tried to ask me out. Now I like 13 again but I lost touch with him throughout the summer and we r only in some classes together. Idk if he still likes me bc he did last year and then I started liking 15 so now Idk if he still likes meFrown I don't know what to do. He is also one of my good friends(13)




Hey girlie,

Try talking to him more! You lost touch throughout the summer, so you have the perfect convo-starter - ask him how his summer went, did he have a part time job or go on any fun vacations, is he excited for school, what classes is he in, etc. You could even apologize for not being around too much since you had a lot on your plate. As you get to talk to him more, you'll get a better idea of how he feels <3 
Lauren C.

by Farmer16 on 8/23/2012 5:45:24 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
theres this guy thats a year older than me (13) i really like him but i dont want to embarass myself if i act all flirty around him and he doesnt lke me back. i want him to know i like him without having to take the risk of him not liking me back. HELP!!!!!!
- <3 is a gift

 

Hey chica! Sometimes you have to take a risk to find out if someone likes you! But saying that, don't over do it. You  can drop hints here and there by inviting him to do things on the weekends or after school, casually compliment him, and talk to him about some of his interests. After doing things like that for a little while see how he responds! If he starts making the plans, complimenting you too and asking you about your interests likelihood is he's into you too! xoxo

Carly S.

by <3 is a gift on 8/22/2012 6:59:57 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
i lun my BGF friend i tell him everything and he tells me everthing but latli he hasn't been talking to me. what do i do? he lives far away and wont answer my calls or txts but his mom works by house and he goes there after school. i was thinking to make him some of my brownies that he just can't resist and bring them to him after school. should i do this??? or should i wait for him to com to me?? Frown

 

Hey girl! Why not wait for him to come to you.  If you still haven't heard from him in a week or so, drop by and see how he's doing. Maybe he's just been busy! xoxo 


Kate G.

by Jbug77 on 8/21/2012 11:18:05 AM

 
 

wow Frown idk what to do i luv my BGF to death but for some reason hes not talking to me Frown what do i do????

by Jbug77 on 8/20/2012 9:12:00 PM

 
 

MOD!!!!
I have a crush on my BGF. (of course), he likes me as a friend, but I'm pretty sure he likes one of my BFF's. WHAT DO I DO!?!??!!!!!




Hey Girl--

For now, just stay his friend and get to know him better. Hopefully, over time he will start to like you as more than a friend. In the mean time-- scope out other boys. School's starting soon and I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding other crushes.  
simone s.

by Littlepuppygirl on 7/31/2012 1:38:54 PM

 
 

mod mod mod
So my boyfriends birthday is coming up and i literally dont have a penny. he bought me an ipad for my birthday! what am i supposed to do!?

Hey girl,

Try making him something -- he'll appreciate the effort, not how much money you spend! Burn him a cd or make him a craft, something that shows you know him and care about him. He will love it!

Meghan D.

by gleek97 on 7/27/2012 9:23:51 PM

 
 



mod mod mod
ok so i met this guy at my high schools summer camp and i think he likes me but im not sure. i only really started talking to him today but we have alot in common and he asked if i hada boyfriend and i said no and later when we were txting he complemented me and were texting for a long time. so anyway do you think that maybe there is a possibility of him liking me even though im a sophomore and he is a freshman your answer is very much appreciated

 

hey! yeah, totally. his asking if you have a bf is a definite sign Smile keep your eyes open, maybe it'll become more obvious 


Helen S.

by oneoftheodd on 7/24/2012 8:06:34 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD:
Hi I could really use some advice. The guy I like is Mormon and... Well I'm not. I know his entire family- his mom was my dance director, his lil sis is a friend of mine, etc, and even though we don't share a religion our families are similar and so is our value system. We wouldn't be able to date until we're 16 anyway, but even then, well me not being Mormon would kind of be a problem. I know we should probably just be friends, but I really like him and I wonder if we even have a chance. Should our religious differences stand in the way of our relationship?

 

Hey girl!  For the time being (until you are old enough to date, anyway), focus on being friends with him.  I know that isn't what you want to hear, but until you are allowed to date, there's no point in agonizing over it.  Once you're old enough, bring the topic up with him.  He might be okay dating you even though you aren't Mormon, but he also might want to date girls that he has the possibility of marrying, which for him may only be other Mormons.  The decision as to whether it is a barrier for your relationship is his and his alone.  Good luck! xoxo


Kate G.

by laurenluv on 7/24/2012 4:24:54 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
I have a problem: my BFF is trying to steal my BGF. I may have a teenie tiny crush on my BGF, and my BFF is talking to him all the time. They text each other and they even live down the street from each other. I just became a freshman and I'm trying to make lots of new friends, but my BFF basically stole him! I can't act jealous because no one knows that I might like him. What do I do???

 

Hey girl! Unless you're dating him, your friend has every right to hang out with him.  Clue her in and let her know you're crushin'- she might back off.  If not, there's not much you can do unless you want to clue him in on your feelings.  Good luck! xoxo 


Kate G.

by eternaldreamer on 7/23/2012 4:41:05 PM

 
 

helen s. thanks so much for the help i'll try my best to get that it is a fantasy and not real life, though i do already know that but you put it to me simplier wish me luck

by skardiekat on 7/17/2012 9:22:51 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!! OK HERE IS THE SITCH, I REALLY LOVE THIS PERSON BUT HE IS 40 YEARS OLDER THAN ME! AND ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS HIM, WHEN I GO TO SLEEP, WHEN I TAKE A SHOWER, ANYTIME! HE IS ALSO DEAD HE IS FAMOUS TOO HOW DO I GET OVER HIM WITHOUGHT ''GETTING OVER HIM'' DO U UTHINK I'M CRAZY???? PLZ HELP

 

hey! celeb crushes are normal, but you have to acknowledge that it's a fantasy. separating fantasy from real life is necessary to get over him. fantasies can be healthy but only if you firmly distinguish them in your mind from real feelings and relationships. 


Helen S.

by skardiekat on 7/17/2012 7:30:54 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!!!!!
I have a MAJOR crush on my bgf. I've known him forever but he sees me as his sister! What do I do?

 

Hey chica! Try to flirt with him a little.  If he seems uninterested, find yourself a new guy.  You want to stay close with your BGF, and flirting with him when he doesn't feel the same way might drive him off.  Enjoy having him as a friend and find a guy who likes you as a girlfriend, not a sister!  xoxo   


Kate G.

by hammaras on 7/17/2012 11:06:49 AM

 
 

Hey Cheeze Wiz, yeah this is tricky. It sounds like he likes you but is just confused right now. I wouldn’t make a move until he did.

by Lynae P. on 7/14/2012 4:13:39 PM

 
 

MODMODMMOD!
SoI really like my BGF but he likes my friend.. we're constantly texting and he tells me how im the best person ever, or that whenver im sad he'll be there for me to cuddle with. It gets really confusing cause idk he's being nice to me or somewhat flirting with me.. but at the same time likes my friend, but my friend doesnt like him.... Please help...

by Cheese Wiz on 7/14/2012 3:57:25 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!!!!!
Please help!
Im 13 and i really like this guy, lets call him "Andy".
Well "Andy" is 16... But he is really nice and sweet and funnny with me. Hes nice to everyone and we just have this connection. I have known him for 1 1/2 years. I wanna see him more, and get his number, But im to shy.
Also, he lives an hour away from me so i only get to see him at church when i go with my grandma.... Is there any tips you guys have on Getting to see him more, Getting his number, or flirting? im really shy... I just like him a lot and want this to work. Please. im begging for your help

 

Hey girl!

If you really like this guy, it's time to conquer your fear and speak up! Sit close to him in church and start saying hi whenever you see him. After church strike up a conversation with him (maybe about the service). Maybe you could suggest that he joins in on the upcoming church community service project. You two could work together and this would be a great way to really get to know him. If he doesn't ask you for your number, you could always ask for his (for church community-service-working purposes of course)! Flash him a smile or sweet glance in church and you'll get his attention right away.  


Catherine C.

by xBlessTheBroken on 7/13/2012 2:23:25 AM

 
 



MOD
So I like this guy. And he's one of my best guy friends. I've known him for a long time. And he texts me ALOT. And he's really sweetSmile But, he's got a girlfriend. He flirts with me a lot, always tells me I'm really pretty and amazing, and he always says "I love you, beautiful." to me. Why does he do this when he has a girlfriend? Is he cheating on her, or just kidding when he says this stuff?




Hey girl,

He's probably not kidding - but he also probably doesn't realize that this is wrong. It's not fair to his GF for him to be sweet-talking you, and it isn't fair to you that he has a GF while he's getting your hopes up. The next time he tries flirting with you or saying things like "Love you, beautiful," I would totally have a hard time NOT mentioning his GF. Something simple like, "Uh, what about your girlfriend?" would do the trick. He'll probably get all flustered, but all you need to do is be honest - tell him it makes you uncomfortable that you talk so often and you flirt all the time because he isn't single, and it's not fair to his GF. Plus, you deserve someone who respects girls enough to know that cheating is wrong. So if you're straight with him, I think he might start to understand!
Lauren C.

by PLL86 on 7/12/2012 5:01:05 PM

 
 



Mod Mod Mod
How do I answer MOD questions? I'm already an advice queen. What do I do next?




Hey girlie,

Being an advice queen is a great way to help out the other GL babes who need help! To become a mod, you have to be 18+ and accepted by GL.com to help out. If you are over 18 years old and are interested, check out this page for more details - scroll down to the "WHERE" sections for more info on how to apply Smile

http://www.girlslife.com/page/Intern-at-Girls-Life.aspx 
Lauren C.

by hermionegirl12 on 7/5/2012 7:50:27 PM

 
 



Mod Mod Mod!
My ex-BGF and I used to be very close. We did everything together and talked about everything together. Months after we met I eventually ended up developing pretty strong feelings for him, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. It went on like that for months and he started showing signs that he was feeling the same way, but I was never sure. I remember one day I was feeling very down and he said, "I hate seeing you like this." Another day, we got into a little fight, but later he apologized and said "I will always care about you." one day I kind of broke down and spilled to him how I felt about him and he said he cares about me, but thinks we should just stay friends. Things were awkward after that and now we haven't even spoken in months. I really miss him so badly, and I want to talk to him again, but I don't know what I'd say, or how. I want to fix things. I even cry sometimes, it's that bad. What should I do? Frown

 

Hey chica!  If it means a lot to you to have him as a friend, then you are going to have to ignore your feelings and reach out to him.  He's probably missing you, too!  Tell him that you miss his friendship and you can't stand the awkwardness.  If you're willing to stay friends and make the effort, I'm sure he's going to make an effort, too and then you guys can go back to doing everything together!  xoxo  


Kate G.

by barenziah97 on 7/5/2012 3:43:58 PM

 
 



MOMODMODMOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey my bgf and i have known each other since we were 6. he is 2 years older than me. our parents want us to marry each other. i like him and idk if he likes me but recently hes talks to this other girl. i want to be in a relationship with him but dont know what i should do? hes my best friends brother and i need help!!!!!!!!!!!




Hey girl!!

I would first make sure it's okay with your best friend, since it's her bro! If she's cool with it, then turn on the charm! Start flirting with him, touching his arm or something casually when you talk, laughing at his jokes, etc. If he doesn't get the hint and ask you out, feel free to ask him out yourself! You don't have to technically call it a date, but ask him to hang out with you one-on-one, whether it's grabbing food together or seeing a new movie. Good luck, babe! 
Kelly G.

by rlurry on 7/4/2012 1:14:29 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!
I asked out my crush over text before I went to summer fine arts camp. He never gave me a straight answer and got really confused and cute and started talking about the weather. I kinda dropped it from there. Now I'm back and I still like him. I text him a lot and I really want to get an answer from him, but I don't know how to bring it up/ have it not be awkward. How should i do this?




Hey girl!

This is a tricky situation! When you're texting him, you should casually say, "Remember that question I asked you before I left for camp?" See what he says. Since you're not outright asking him the question, it'll force him to meet you halfway. He can only avoid answering for so long. 
Rachael A.

by Bluejaye221 on 7/2/2012 2:47:19 AM

 
 



MOD
How do you know if you like like someone?? I know it's a weird question.. Lol




Hey girlie,

It's different for everyone, but usually you like spending time together, you care about what the person has to say, you're interested in what their interests are, you're attracted to them, etc. Sometimes it's harder to tell than others, but usually... you just kinda know! Smile
Lauren C.

by Cherries51 on 6/28/2012 7:02:20 PM

 
 

Its amazing how many friends enjoy each others company and end up making a terrible bf and gf. Ive see it at my school where people who have been friends forever think there is a romantic spark there and then end up disliking each other after their romance is over or they end up in a friends with benefits relationship and one of them feels they are being used.

Sometimes its better to just stay friends.

by luckykel on 6/26/2012 11:06:57 PM

 
 



Modmodmod!
Heyy. I've known my BGF for a while now, and I really kind of like him. He's a jerk sometimes, but the thing is, he REALLY likes my bff! I don't know what to do! Help!

 

hey! If he likes your bff maybe you should try getting over him. Here are some tips! http://www.girlslife.com/category/splitsville.aspx 


Helen S.

by Mustache_Obsessed on 6/25/2012 7:44:37 PM

 
 

Hey Celtics_Ball, mhmm I think you're okay. As long as it isn't some odd color you should be good. The tannish stuff is probably discharge, which helps removes dead cells And keeps your bod clean. Hope this helps! Xoxo



MODMODMOD!!(:
Ok so I'm 13 and a half. I've had my period for about 6 months. But, my period blood isn't red. Or brownish red. It's in the beginning tanish and then brownish. Is this nromal? The friends I've told say that its because i hevnt had it for that long. Thanks(: Lynae P.

by Celtics_Ball on 6/23/2012 4:47:02 PM

 
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