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Friend fight 411: What to do when you're stuck in the middle

You and your two besties have been like the three musketeers since forever. But now, they’re having a huge fight, and you’re caught in between. Here’s how...
63 Comments | Add Yours
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hey yall come see my advice queen pg. its the same name as my profile... u can come to my profile to find it. ttyl cant wait to help and give you advice Laughing

by katymarielove on 10/27/2012 7:44:18 PM

 
 



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A few days ago, me and my best friend hung out with this guy she liked. After hanging out with him, she realized she didn't really like him, and now she is being completely rude and ignoring him. I actually liked hanging out with him though! Would it be inappropriate to maybe add him on facebook and still talk to him?

 

Hey girlie, of course you can add him on facebook and talk to him! Just because your friend doesn't want to be friends with him anymore doesn't mean you shouldn't. If you're nervous about what she'll think tell her that you enjoyed spending time with him and want to get to know him better and ask how she feels about it. 


Lauren T.

by jayhawk94 on 10/21/2012 8:11:27 PM

 
 

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My friends and I had a half day today. They decided to go out to get lunch, but I went to my public school to volunteer. Next, I see ALL over Facebook, they took photos of each other, statuses were updated to: "Best day ever with:..." and she tagged them all in the statuses. I always feel so excluded around them, because they hardly talk to me. EVER. Do you think I should give them a taste of their own medicine, find new friends, or just deal with being the third (more like the eighth wheel)?

Hey girl,

If they're your friends, I don't think you should "give them a taste of their own medicine"--even if they made you feel left out, you don't really want to hurt them! Instead, talk to them about feeling left out and ask if you can come along next time they make plans. I'm sure they'd love to have you! And if you want to introduce yourself to some new people at school or in your neighborhood, too, there's nothing wrong with that.

Meghan D.

by pokemon_girl11 on 10/19/2012 11:20:00 PM

 
 



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I've been bffs with this girl (Em) since 8th grade(we're in Junior year now)& in our freshman year this new girl (T)moved to our school & my BGF said we would be good friends so i decided to say hi and we are now bffs. In sophomore yr Em and T met and we all became bffs. It was nice until this year. It seems to me they exclude me when they hang out sometimes b/c 1 will be talking to me & say something like"Oh i left my lanyard, keys, ect. at Em's house after the football game" which they never invited me to. We're all in the school play together. I dont think they're doing it to be mean b/c they dont brag about how much fun they had or anything but it still hurts to know i was excluded. I read online that "you teach people how to treat you." but i dont understand how i could uncounsciously be telling them to hang out together w/o me. Is there anything i can do to change this, back to the way it used to be?




Hey girl, I don't buy that quote either. What you can do, however, is be honest and upfront with them. Tell them you sometimes feel excluded when they just talk about their inside things and want to hang with them more. You don't have to stay quiet about this. Acknowledging there's a problem is the first trigger they need so you can all work to change it.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by kaboodle on 10/15/2012 5:24:04 PM

 
 



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I'm in a clique with 3 other girls, and I've overheard one of the girls saying mean things about me. I really don't want to be friends with her anymore, but I really want keep my friendships with the other 2 girl. How should I tell them I don't like Sammy, and that I don't want to be friends with her?




Maybe you could ask them why she said those mean things about you and talk to them about it. If they are real friends, they will realize that the other friend is mean and disrespectful and you guys should all say something as a group together.  
mailyse f.

by Crazygirl199 on 10/15/2012 4:39:33 PM

 
 

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I HAVE SERIOUS PROBLEM! My best guy friend is being bullied, and said in a video posted on facebook, that he was trying to hurt himself, and that he cries every night. I don't know what to do. I'm beginning to feel that just being there for him isn't enough. PLEASE HELP ME!! FOR MY FRIENDS SAKE! Cry

Hey girl,

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I can't imagine what he must be going through. Because we want the best for you and him, it's really important that you encourage him to speak with a trusted adult like a parent our guidance counselor about how he's feeling. You can also refer him to this link, which includes hotlines where he can talk to someone anonymously and toll free. http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx

Meghan D.

by pokemon_girl11 on 10/13/2012 11:53:53 PM

 
 

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Okay so this may seem kind of silly and I'm probably overreacting but basically i play volleyball in school and my team had a party (sort of like a team bonding) and we decorated t-shirts and stuff, and it was supposed to be today. well, i've been really busy lately and super stressed and i ended up reading the invitation wrong and coming an hour late. which was super embarassing and i felt awful for showing up so late. and for some reason it's 10 at night and it's still bothering me that i screwed up so bad. is there anything i can say when i see them on monday that might make this situation a little bit better/ less embarassing? pleeeeeeasse help Frown

Hey girl,

Everyone makes mistakes, so don't be so hard on yourself! Just apologize to the captains and then move on--at least you still made it to the party! Everyone will forget soon, and it won't be a big deal Smile Try not to focus on it too much and enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Meghan D.

by ohheyitsjennyy on 10/6/2012 10:21:56 PM

 
 


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My BFF Fabi told me that the most popular girls in my grade were telling her, "Why do you hang out with Kaitlin? She's mean!" They were also telling Fabi a bunch of mean stuff I said in 5th grade.I've changed, and now it's 6th grade,and all that mean stuff I said were last year, and they should get over it. No one but Fabi believes that I've changed. How can I prove that I've changed?




Hannah H.

by CrazyGirl199 on 9/27/2012 5:00:49 PM

 
 

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omg this girl HATED me last year and i'v never seen her inerson but after a wile of not fighting we bacame friends and now she asked me to go to the mall tomarrow with people i don't even know and my ex BF! What do i do? should i go????

Hey girl,

If the two of you are friends and there will be a lot of people there, it might not be that awkward to see your ex, but if you really don't want to see him, you could tell your friend the truth and she'll understand. Maybe the two of you could hang out one on one later!

Meghan D.

by Jbug77 on 9/14/2012 7:49:54 PM

 
 


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There is this girl, who just so happens to be my bff. But a lot of the time she just ignores me. Today me, her and a bunch of friends all went to get something to eat after school, and she says "Imagine our first highschool party! _____ will be doing this, ______ will do that ______will be like... ______ will be on the phone all night..." But she didn't mention me at all. It really hurts my feelings. I feel like she doesn't care about me. It seems like she doesn't want me around anymore. I've even tod her how I felt before, but it didn't do anything! Help, please! I want to save our friendship! (sorry this is so long)


 


Hannah H.

by pokemon_girl11 on 9/11/2012 4:43:01 PM

 
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