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Friend fight 411: What to do when you're stuck in the middle

You and your two besties have been like the three musketeers since forever. But now, they’re having a huge fight, and you’re caught in between. Here’s how...
63 Comments | Add Yours
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hey yall come see my advice queen pg. its the same name as my profile... u can come to my profile to find it. ttyl cant wait to help and give you advice Laughing

by katymarielove on 10/27/2012 7:44:18 PM

 
 



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A few days ago, me and my best friend hung out with this guy she liked. After hanging out with him, she realized she didn't really like him, and now she is being completely rude and ignoring him. I actually liked hanging out with him though! Would it be inappropriate to maybe add him on facebook and still talk to him?

 

Hey girlie, of course you can add him on facebook and talk to him! Just because your friend doesn't want to be friends with him anymore doesn't mean you shouldn't. If you're nervous about what she'll think tell her that you enjoyed spending time with him and want to get to know him better and ask how she feels about it. 


Lauren T.

by jayhawk94 on 10/21/2012 8:11:27 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!
My friends and I had a half day today. They decided to go out to get lunch, but I went to my public school to volunteer. Next, I see ALL over Facebook, they took photos of each other, statuses were updated to: "Best day ever with:..." and she tagged them all in the statuses. I always feel so excluded around them, because they hardly talk to me. EVER. Do you think I should give them a taste of their own medicine, find new friends, or just deal with being the third (more like the eighth wheel)?

Hey girl,

If they're your friends, I don't think you should "give them a taste of their own medicine"--even if they made you feel left out, you don't really want to hurt them! Instead, talk to them about feeling left out and ask if you can come along next time they make plans. I'm sure they'd love to have you! And if you want to introduce yourself to some new people at school or in your neighborhood, too, there's nothing wrong with that.

Meghan D.

by pokemon_girl11 on 10/19/2012 11:20:00 PM

 
 



MOD
I've been bffs with this girl (Em) since 8th grade(we're in Junior year now)& in our freshman year this new girl (T)moved to our school & my BGF said we would be good friends so i decided to say hi and we are now bffs. In sophomore yr Em and T met and we all became bffs. It was nice until this year. It seems to me they exclude me when they hang out sometimes b/c 1 will be talking to me & say something like"Oh i left my lanyard, keys, ect. at Em's house after the football game" which they never invited me to. We're all in the school play together. I dont think they're doing it to be mean b/c they dont brag about how much fun they had or anything but it still hurts to know i was excluded. I read online that "you teach people how to treat you." but i dont understand how i could uncounsciously be telling them to hang out together w/o me. Is there anything i can do to change this, back to the way it used to be?




Hey girl, I don't buy that quote either. What you can do, however, is be honest and upfront with them. Tell them you sometimes feel excluded when they just talk about their inside things and want to hang with them more. You don't have to stay quiet about this. Acknowledging there's a problem is the first trigger they need so you can all work to change it.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by kaboodle on 10/15/2012 5:24:04 PM

 
 



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I'm in a clique with 3 other girls, and I've overheard one of the girls saying mean things about me. I really don't want to be friends with her anymore, but I really want keep my friendships with the other 2 girl. How should I tell them I don't like Sammy, and that I don't want to be friends with her?




Maybe you could ask them why she said those mean things about you and talk to them about it. If they are real friends, they will realize that the other friend is mean and disrespectful and you guys should all say something as a group together.  
mailyse f.

by Crazygirl199 on 10/15/2012 4:39:33 PM

 
 

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I HAVE SERIOUS PROBLEM! My best guy friend is being bullied, and said in a video posted on facebook, that he was trying to hurt himself, and that he cries every night. I don't know what to do. I'm beginning to feel that just being there for him isn't enough. PLEASE HELP ME!! FOR MY FRIENDS SAKE! Cry

Hey girl,

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I can't imagine what he must be going through. Because we want the best for you and him, it's really important that you encourage him to speak with a trusted adult like a parent our guidance counselor about how he's feeling. You can also refer him to this link, which includes hotlines where he can talk to someone anonymously and toll free. http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx

Meghan D.

by pokemon_girl11 on 10/13/2012 11:53:53 PM

 
 

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Okay so this may seem kind of silly and I'm probably overreacting but basically i play volleyball in school and my team had a party (sort of like a team bonding) and we decorated t-shirts and stuff, and it was supposed to be today. well, i've been really busy lately and super stressed and i ended up reading the invitation wrong and coming an hour late. which was super embarassing and i felt awful for showing up so late. and for some reason it's 10 at night and it's still bothering me that i screwed up so bad. is there anything i can say when i see them on monday that might make this situation a little bit better/ less embarassing? pleeeeeeasse help Frown

Hey girl,

Everyone makes mistakes, so don't be so hard on yourself! Just apologize to the captains and then move on--at least you still made it to the party! Everyone will forget soon, and it won't be a big deal Smile Try not to focus on it too much and enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Meghan D.

by ohheyitsjennyy on 10/6/2012 10:21:56 PM

 
 


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My BFF Fabi told me that the most popular girls in my grade were telling her, "Why do you hang out with Kaitlin? She's mean!" They were also telling Fabi a bunch of mean stuff I said in 5th grade.I've changed, and now it's 6th grade,and all that mean stuff I said were last year, and they should get over it. No one but Fabi believes that I've changed. How can I prove that I've changed?




Hannah H.

by CrazyGirl199 on 9/27/2012 5:00:49 PM

 
 

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omg this girl HATED me last year and i'v never seen her inerson but after a wile of not fighting we bacame friends and now she asked me to go to the mall tomarrow with people i don't even know and my ex BF! What do i do? should i go????

Hey girl,

If the two of you are friends and there will be a lot of people there, it might not be that awkward to see your ex, but if you really don't want to see him, you could tell your friend the truth and she'll understand. Maybe the two of you could hang out one on one later!

Meghan D.

by Jbug77 on 9/14/2012 7:49:54 PM

 
 


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There is this girl, who just so happens to be my bff. But a lot of the time she just ignores me. Today me, her and a bunch of friends all went to get something to eat after school, and she says "Imagine our first highschool party! _____ will be doing this, ______ will do that ______will be like... ______ will be on the phone all night..." But she didn't mention me at all. It really hurts my feelings. I feel like she doesn't care about me. It seems like she doesn't want me around anymore. I've even tod her how I felt before, but it didn't do anything! Help, please! I want to save our friendship! (sorry this is so long)


 


Hannah H.

by pokemon_girl11 on 9/11/2012 4:43:01 PM

 
 

Explain to them with logic that they shouldn't be fighting at all. Don't forget to tell them that they're ticking you off.

by peppercyndaquil13 on 9/1/2012 9:50:58 PM

 
 



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I really can't stand it when a lot people have luck. Maybe I'm jealous, I'm willing to admit that, but seriously, I don't understand how my classmate has top grades, is the life of the party, and the teacher's pet! Like for example, The boys in our class make some joke, they get in trouble. She makes an equally-bad joke, she's still floating. I really try my hardest but apparently she will always be the lucky one. I don't like gossiping about her, though. It kills me when she's nice. Help, please!
_LIZHEARTSLONDON_

 

Hey girlie,

It's totally normal to be jealous of girls who seem to "have it all" !! We've all been there! But remember that even those girls have weaknesses somewhere. You might not see them, but they're there. They're scared of something, they dislike something about themselves, and there's something about their lives that makes them nervous. They might seem perfect, but they're not! Personally, I would focus on one area that you'd like to improve. It seems like the most important right now is grades - so work hard to do your homework, study for tests, and ask any questions you have. Be open with your teacher and commit to getting higher grades. That way, you know you tried your hardest and THAT should make you proud! <3


Lauren C.

by LizHeartsLondon on 8/30/2012 6:18:30 PM

 
 



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One of my friends at school is attached to my hip, but in a bad way. She follows me around everywhere I go, and she walks and sits extremely close to me which is a big invasion of my personal space. Her being around me all the time is starting to get annoying, but I don't want to be rude about it. How do I get her to back off?




Hey girlie,

Don't be afraid to stand your ground! Keep your cool so you don't say something you'll regret later, but be clear about wanting your space. Say you have to go to your locker to get something during lunch. Your friend doesn't have to come with you for that, so say something like - "Hey, I'm gonna run to my locker real quick. Stay here, I'll be right back." If she's sitting too close, be straight with her - "Hey, can you move over? I feel kinda crowded." You don't have to be mean about it or have a "talk" with her about her behavior - just take each situation as it comes and be subtle but firm <3 
Lauren C.

by jayhawk94 on 8/30/2012 4:57:37 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!
OK, so I have this friend 'C' who is really sweet--if at sometimes a little annoying--but I'm pretty sure she has a violent side. Sometimes she says things, like 'when ______ says that, I just want to punch her in the stomach!' or even more violent things than that! But I've never seen her carry out these threats, although she did talk to me once about how if someone is mean to her, she'll 'sass' them so hard they never want to talk to her again. She said she 'sassed' (I'm not sure exactly what she says) one of the popular girls in our grade, 'S' who I happen to be sorta-friends with. And I've never seen S talk to C. But here's the thing. Should I tell her it's wrong to think violently? Should I mention how much the concept of 'sassing' people to the point they never want to look at you again is kinda demented? Should I confront her at all? C can be very opinionated, but I'm not sure if this is something I should let slip by (sorry if this is long)

Hey girl,

A lot of people say things like that without actually following through, but if she's being mean to one of your friends you can ask her to not talk about her while you're around. And if she keeps saying things like that, you can tell her that it's not nice to talk about that, even if you don't mean it!

Meghan D.

by emonade on 8/25/2012 12:43:28 AM

 
 

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I've been bffs with this girl since 3rd grade.In second grade I was still friends with her but she had this bff who she had a huge fight with at the end of that year so that's why she's bffs with me.Fast forward now, to sixth grade.For some reason during 5th grade she became friends with that girl she had a huge fight with again, but that was fine.Now ever since sixth grade started she's been hanging with her a lot and barely talks to me anymore.She doesn't even sit with me at lunch.Its like this girl is a better choice than me for her.I'm really really confused over this, am another one of my friends who was friends with my bff too feels the same way.I can't just tell my bff, that would be too awkard.Please I miss her so much she was one of the only people I could be myself with..

 

Hey girl! You should definitely talk to her! It won't be awkward if you say it nicely and calmly! Just be like "hey, I really miss you! I feel like we haven't hung out a lot recently!". See where it goes from there! Maybe you could even try to be friends with the other girl too that way your friend wouldn't have to choose between friends! xoxo

Carly S.

by katniss50309 on 8/24/2012 4:33:43 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD my bff never wants to do anthing or hang out with me and when she can she get really sick.what should I do?

 


Hey girlie,

You can't force someone to hang out - so if you keep trying and she doesn't seem into it, try not to waste your time. Focus on other friends, join a new club, hang out with the fam, or pick up a new hobby to take your mind off it. You want to be around friends who also want to be around you - if you gotta twist her arm to hang out, she isn't worth it! <3 


Lauren C.

by horseirl on 8/23/2012 9:46:24 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
about the question you just awnsered, i don't want to be h's friend because I don't like her one bit and neither does she.but she doesn't know that i know she doen't like me.but it doen't stop her from coming up to me and talking to me so what should i say.btw we aren't going to a new school

 

Hey chica! Even though you both don't want to be friends you should try and stay polite so that if you have to work together you can! But try and approach the issue! Maybe meet with a school counselor! If you two work out your issues and end your friendship on good terms you won't have to deal with awkward run ins! Hope this helps! xoxo

Carly S.

by cgirl109 on 8/21/2012 4:17:04 PM

 
 

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ok so school is satrting in a week and i have a question about an old friend.so like there's this girl h who was my friend.well when we were both in school still i thought that she thought we were friends.(i never liked her since last year after a big fight.)but my friend l said that h didn't like me either and now since school is starting and where in the same class what should i say to her when she comes up and talks to me?sorry if this is confusing,but can u please awnser this as best as u can. thanks!

 

 

Hey sweets! Going into a new school year is a fresh start; how about giving her one? Try going into the first day of school with an open mind! Think about what good friends you used to be and be open to being her friend again. Be nice and friendly to her on the first few days of school and see where it goes from there! Good luck! xoxo

Carly S.

by cgirl109 on 8/21/2012 4:03:02 PM

 
 



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My "best friend" doesn't feel like a friend to me anymore. We just don't have the same interests. She is into girly stuff and I'm more into rocker-ish stuff. We don't like the same music or clothes, and I feel like sometimes she isn't exactly respectful of the things I like. Our friendship has been on and off for the past year, and I want to end it for good. But how exactly do you let a friendship "fade"? Just stop talking or what? 0.o

 

Hey chicky! To let a friendship fade, try calling her less and spending more time with your other friends.  Don't stop talking altogether- that can seem mean, and you don't want that.  You can just make plans with other girls instead of your best friend.  Be warned: if she asks you what's up, you have to be honest and say you don't have much in common anymore and that might really hurt her feelings. xoxo 


Kate G.

by myclique on 8/21/2012 2:39:30 PM

 
 



MODMODMOD Okay my Friend C is really rude and stuck up to all of my friends and me!!!!I heard that she has been talking behind my back i really dont want to put up with her when school starts this next week what do i DO!!!!!
-Serra

 

Hey girl! It might be time to distance yourself from your friend, but do it carefully! You don't want to be mean.  Instead of icing her out, just slowly start cooling down your friendship.  At a certain point, you'll also need to confront her about talking behind your back.  If she asks why you aren't as friendly, tell her that she hurt your feelings.  She might be willig to change her atitude if she realizes her friends aren't going to put up with it anymore. xoxo  


Kate G.

by boycrusher191 on 8/20/2012 4:35:15 PM

 
 

When I do something wrong my friend yells at me and calls me names like dimwod, stupid, or retard. We we're walking home from the third day of school and I didn't know their was a car pulling in and I didn't stop she pulled me back and called me stupid in front of everybody. I told her to stop and she got mad at me she didn't talk to me on the way home even if I tried to work it out with her. What do I do?

 

Hey girl! You were right to tell your friend to stop calling you names.  Try talking to her in private and telling her how it makes you feel when she calls you names. Assure her that you still want to be friends with her, but her behavior needs to change. If you tell her how you feel and she is still mad at you for standing up for yourself, she doesn't sound like a great friend.

Lauren I.

by gracieob on 8/17/2012 4:33:11 PM

 
 



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I'm starting high school in 2 weeks and I'm SUPER nervous! I'm always bullied for silly reasons like being sensitive, being extremely shy, and who knows what else those bullies would point out about me! Even my so called "friends" join in. I always tell them it hurts but they keep doing it anyway. How can I make new friends, stand up for myself without getting teary eyed AND stay clear of my "friends".

 

 

Hey girl! If you feel like you're gettin' teary eyed, take a deep breath and think about something else.  Let your friends know what they are doing is mean and bullying (they might stop, which is great, but if not, it's time to find new friends).  Join a new club about something you are interested in and make an effort to speak to a new person every day.  Eventually, small talk will seem more natural and you won't have to worry about being so shy.  Good luck! xoxo 


Kate G.

by hinatagal on 8/8/2012 1:59:08 AM

 
 



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So, I have these 3 'friends', okay? Last year I moved to a new school, in hopes of making a better life. So, theres this exclusive circle of friends, lets call them the Circle. The first one of my 'friends' was apart of that, she's a backstabber, liar, and gets mad at me for no reason. Then theres another 'friend' she's annoying, clingy, and hits me all the time, and prys stuff out of me, but she's had a bad life so far, so i would feel guilty. Then theres another 'friend' she's nice, but mean, clingy, and she's really awkward, over-dramatic, tells my secrets, and fights with 'friend' 2. Friend one, trys to make me dump Freind Two and knows my secrets and would use them against me, if I don't do what she wants. Friend Two, bullies me, and would make me feel guilty for dumping her. (Which I've already tried.)Then Friend Three, is nosy and she just isn't someone I would want to be friends with. It would be longer,so help!

 

Hey chica! Sounds like you need a whole new group of friends.  Instead of dumping any of them (which would be mean), just try to spend a little less time with them and a little more time with other girls.  You can make new friends by joining a new club or sitting with a new girl in homeroom. Eventually, you'll have friends who love you for you and don't try to se anything against you.  xoxo    


Kate G.

by MingMingToo on 7/27/2012 1:11:36 AM

 
 



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My mom invites my ex-friend and her family up to my cabin without telling me, she just says it the day before "oh they are coming up this weekend" my mom doesn't know that I really can't stand her, she annoys me and she creeps me out by asking really wierd questions. My mom is friends with her parents so she invites them up too, but at the end of the weekend i am SICK of her. If I tell my mom she will yell at me and say that "I am not being a good friend" and then she would call up the mom she is inviting and gossip about it. Any tips?

 

Hey girl!  Instead of complaining to your mom afterwards, talk to her before. Tell her that this girl makes you uncomfortable and that you two have drifted apart.  Clearly, your parents and her parents are friends and your mom can't be rude and not invite this girl to come with her parents, but you two can work out something for weekends that she visits.  Maybe you can bring a friend up so it isn't just you and this girl alone (but you'll have to be nice and include her in stuff) or you can plan more activities when she's there so you two don't have to entertain yourselves as much.  You can't keep her from visiting, but you can make sure that you and your mom have an agreement to keep you having a good weekend.  xoxo 


Kate G.

by mainbunny1 on 7/24/2012 10:57:52 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!!!!
One of my friends has been hanging out and becoming really close with my BFF of 5 years. My BFF and my other friend didn't used to be close, but after my BFF became depressed, the other friend started hanging out with her more and more. Whenever I ask my BFF about her plans, she's always with my other friend. We hardly ever get to hang out. I feel like I'm being replaced by her! It seems that she only started hanging out with my BFF because she felt sorry for her. I told my BFF how I feel, and she said that she'd try to spend equal amounts of time with both of us. But whenever we try to hang out just the 2 of us, my other friend invites herself to join us. I'm just so mad and jealous I don't know what to do.




Hey girlie,

Remember that it's ok for your friends to have other friends - in fact, it's healthier that way! And it's normal for you to drift apart or drift closer to certain friends as you grow up, depending on what you have in common. Try asking your BFF to hang out again - tell her that you miss hanging out one-on-one with her, so you should both go get lunch on Saturday and catch up. If the other friend shows up again, enjoy your time with your friends and then talk to your BFF afterward. Tell her that you love hanging out in a bigger group, but you also would love one-on-one time too. It's all about balance! Also, remember not to be too needy - there's nothing more frustrating than a clingy BFF who won't let you grow, breathe, or meet new people. Use this as a chance to hang out with your other friends - you never know who you're going to "click" with when you have the opportunity to grow closer to someone!
Lauren C.

by DirectionerDD on 7/19/2012 5:23:47 PM

 
 



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Hey i really need some advice. So my two closest friends really don't like each other and one of those friends goes to online school and my other friend goes to school with me and asked me if I wanted to be locker partners with her this year and I said yes but she is such a messy person our locker was nasty and she hasn't been being very. Nice and she is very possessive and controlling of me and my friend who does online school decided she was going to be coming back for 8th grade and asked me to be her locker partner and I said I couldn't be her locker partner because I already promised my other friend I would be her locker partner but I really want to be my onli e school friends locker partner... How do I talk to my friend that I said I was going to be locker partners with about this and If I tell her now she has half of summer to find another locker partner but keep in mind they hate each other... I really need some advice

 

hey! I think that since you already told your messy friend that you would be her partner you should stick with her. You could have said no the first time, but now there's no backing out. Just remember this for next time she asks. 


Helen S.

by Roxizzy on 7/17/2012 8:15:30 PM

 
 



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I wasnt sure on what column I should ask this on so I'm posting it here. I play on a basketball team (not travel, though) and everyone on the team are people that I am friends with. One of my BFFs plays on the team too, but she disrespects our coach, doesnt focus in practice, insults other teammates' playing even though she isnt such a great player herself, and brings our team down during games. She says she likes being on the team because she gets to see all of her friends. I dont want to sound mean, but she stinks at basketball. She doesnt even show effort at practices or games. She reads when she's on the bench at our games! My teammates and I are sick of putting up with her non-sense. Is there a way that we can plitely ask her to maybe find another sport? Its not like we hate her or anything!




Hey girl, that is annoying, but the best thing you can do is to set a good example for her. It's the coach's job to talk to players about stuff like that, so all you can do is encourage her to participate, give her tips on playing better, and ignore her when she insults your coach or teammates. Hopefully if you guys are being nice and playing well, she'll get the hints to step up her game. 
Carrie R.

by cmfox99 on 7/16/2012 1:30:29 PM

 
 

okay so right now im in a fight with my bff or at least i think she was she never invites me over and she didnt talk to me when she came over my house with her friend. and she even invited someone else over to! and didnt talk to me! Should i say bye bye bff or sorry sorry?

by lysalove123 on 7/13/2012 1:09:05 AM

 
 

i need help reconnecting with an old friend. I miss being around her and I dont know wht to do. we had drifted apart. she has new friends and one of them does not like me! please help

by neo6m on 7/11/2012 1:57:54 PM

 
 

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I have three close friends. One of which is my BFF, and the two of us never fight. However, my two other friends, "Liz" and "Ann" are always arguing and/or fighting about something or other. My BFF and share pretty much the same beliefs about our friendship. Liz and Ann are very sneaky about convincing my BFF to pick sides in one of their squabbles, though. For example, Liz will tweak the story a bit so that my BFF will be on her side. Liz is insecure, and always needs someone to "back her up". Ann does the same thing, and both girls get genuinely offended if my BFF and I dont each pick a side. I hate picking sides because it always ends up 2 on 2 between the 4 of us and I hate disagreeing with my BFF bout something that doesnt even concern us! It stinks to have to hangout with only Liz or only Ann to avoid cat-fights. HELP!




 Hey girl,

Yikes! That sounds like an annoying situation. Does your BFF agree with you about their behavior? You two should agree to not pick sides and stay out of their fights. If one of your friends tries to turn you against the other just say "I don't want to talk about it anymore. Why don't we do something else?" 




best of luck

 
simone s.

by cmfox99 on 7/10/2012 1:15:58 PM

 
 




MODMODMODMOD
ok, my comments only post 90% of the time idk y =/...anyway my 2 friends hav been @ each others throats 4 ovr a yr a couple of my othr friends hav picked sides but most of us just stay out of it. now these 2 of my bffs r telling me stuf bout the other that makes me doubt both of them! i hate how i always have 2 chose between these 2 4 sleepovrs & stuf 2 avoid a cat fight. how do i make them STOP?????
thx u guys r livesavers!
xoxo
L.=)




Hey girl!

Your comments should eventually be posted, it just might take a little while. Mods have to approve every girl's comment to make sure it's appropriate! I think you should sit each friend down separately and tell them that enough is enough! Over a year's worth of fighting is way too long! Maybe you should suggest that they sit down together to try and work out their issues once and for all. And maybe you could be there as a mediator, someone who can look at the situation in a neutral way since you're friends with both of them. Unless they actually have a civilized conversation about their issues, it will never get resolved.
Rachael A.

by WhoAmI? on 7/9/2012 1:25:10 AM

 
 

Hey guys i know u here this alot but pls before u keep scrolling just read this i promise you will end up glad you did. I have started a new club called popularity 101i can help u deal with mean girls and become the most popular girl in school fast and easy and plus if u join im also looking for administrators so if u like this than join it will be worth it and if u didnt still join because u never know u could like it. Thx for reading and pls join.

Xoxo Allie

by alexandriarose12 on 7/8/2012 1:06:20 AM

 
 

MOD! MOD! MOD!
My profile has been being moderated for a couple of days now. And I'm definitely not the impatient type, but is something wrong? And when will I be able to see it?  Thanks for your help!

Hey girl,

When a lot of girlies sign up for profiles, it can take longer! I'm not the profile mod, so I'm not sure when your profile info will be posted, but it should be soon!

Meghan D.

by jannabanana15 on 7/6/2012 10:46:08 PM

 
 

mod mod mod
after i took out a tampon i got cramps in my legs and abdomen. it was my first time so was it from being tense or something?

Hey girl,

You might have been tense or nervous, but if the pain lasted a while afterward, you might want to talk to your mom or a doc!

Meghan D.

by colorqueen101 on 7/6/2012 9:50:21 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
Tomorrow we are flying out to out to our Dad's house halfway across the country. Sometimes I feel like I don't see my parents enough. My mom got a promotion and has to go out to a city 2 hours away and she stays out there for 3 or 4 days at a time. Then she comes back for 2 or 3 days, and she mostly sleeps. My stepdad goes to work from 7:30 AM at the latest and comes back at 4 PM at most times. On Monday's and Wednesday's he takes us to Tae Kwon Do and then after Tae Kwon Do on Monday's he has to go to the fire hall for training and doesn't get back until about 7 PM. Then my dad we only see at the most 2 months in a year. Any chance you could help me make he most out of the time I have with my parents?

Hey girl,

It's never easy to not see your parents a lot, so it's good that you want to make the most out of your time together! Suggest something fun to do when you do get to see them, like playing a game or going bowling. And when you're not with them, you can still call to fill them in on what's up in your life!

Meghan D.

by jrprodigy12 on 7/6/2012 9:35:45 PM

 
 

Some good recommendations on how to smooth your friends' ruffled feathers are: listen to each side and give advice without ever picking sides, and always encourage them to talk to each other (maybe even suggest that you could be the moderator).

by otter77 on 7/6/2012 9:30:59 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!
Okay, next year our school is combining with another local school, so there'll be a lot of new students. I want to make new friends, but I'm not sure how to. Everyone will already have their own clique. The group of girls I hang out with now are getting different interests than I am, and I don't enjoy being around them anymore like I used to. Any tips on making new friends this fall? Thanks!

 

Hey girl, just talk to them in classes! Maybe start by complimenting their clothing and then start talking about different interested you might share with them. Or easy ask for homework help or if they understand something that a teacher is saying. Just give it a go, all you can do is try! 


lauren r.

by PaintedDestiny on 7/6/2012 8:27:48 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMODMOD
Please help me! I've been trying to text my friends but they never answer. I feel like a loser. Am I doing something wrong? Please write back and tell me what I should do!

 

Hey girl, its possible they're not near their phone. If you text them once or twice a day and they don't answer just leave it at that and they're get back to you. NO worries! 


lauren r.

by Christ follower on 7/6/2012 7:54:26 PM

 
 



MOD! My bra size is a 34B and I'm 15 and like 5'1... I want my boobs to be bigger, but Idk if they'll grow! They're not exactly 'round' and kind of in a swooped up shape, so I don't think they're done taking shape, but I heard that they only continue to grow 4 years after you start your period, which for me was almost 4 years ago. My mom and grandma are both short like me, but have a lot bigger boobs than me, so I would think mine would be bigger than they are. Uh ya... will they grow?

 

Hey girl, its definitely possible. They may be bigger because of when both of them were pregnant. That's when they really grow. But honestly, you have a good size! I wouldn't worry about it now. 


lauren r.

by PartyHat on 7/6/2012 7:53:44 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMODMODMOD
I just want to say that I thank you so much for all you do to help us girls...it really is so nice of you to take time out of your busy life to help us and work at GL....and just curious, do you have to say things a cetain way? Like say "chica" alot?







Hey girlie!

It's no problem! It's a really fun job and we love chatting with you guys. Nope, we don't really have any specific words to use or anything. That's just how we talk to our friends Smile 
Kelly G.

by futurewriter16 on 7/6/2012 1:57:25 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMOD
My brother and I plan to make my dad a birthday dinner of dinner rolls, meatloaf, carrots, mashed potatoes, jack ranch fries and some sort of dessert. Im really worried. And how much will this all cost?




Hey girl,

I have no idea how much all of that will cost! If you're concerned with the price, why don't you and your brother try making something out of the food you already have at home? There's nothing to be worried about, especially if your brother has cooked before. If you're still nervous, talk to your brother and suggest you do something else for your dad! 
Kelly G.

by futurewriter16 on 7/6/2012 1:34:06 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMODMOD
Is it okay if im a 34 b and dont wear a bra?




Hey girl,

I would suggest wearing a bra, but it's ultimately up to you. You can always just wear a cami with a built in bra, or wear a sports bra, if you're not comfortable wearing a real bra yet. 
Kelly G.

by futurewriter16 on 7/6/2012 12:58:11 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMODMOD
I have two questions....what do i do about chest tenderness? And what do I do when Im going for a checkup on my period and need a urine sample? Will they look down there?




Hey girl!

Ask a parent about any chest tenderness...it should just go away naturally though. If not, think about seeing a doctor just to check up. When you're going in for a checkup on your period, they probably won't look down there. They might take a urine sample, but they'll most likely just ask you lots of questions about your period and how your body has been behaving. If they do end up needing to check down there, don't worry. Doctors have seen plenty of people, all shapes and sizes, and have examined EVERYWHERE. You're just another one of their hundreds of patients...no need to worry! 
Catherine C.

by futurewriter16 on 7/6/2012 12:37:25 PM

 
 



Just wanted to pop back in and thank Catherine C. for answering my questions! I just have one more, and then I'll shut up. xD
I'm thinking of having a sleepover this summer with a few of my friends. Do you have any idea of what we could do? Oh, and I want to play music, so what kind of music should I play? I'm not really a fan of Justin Bieber or Nicki Minaj-I love Taylor Swift, Christina Perri, Greyson Chance, The Civil Wars, and Adele.
Again, thank you SO much. It really means a lot. Smile

 

Hey girlie!

Check out some of our fun summer snacks you could make for a fun sleepover! Make some s'mores, get someone to bring a slips 'n slide, or even rent a blow up movie screen and lay out a  bunch of towels and pillows to watch a movie on the big screens outside. Maybe organize a scavenger hunt around the neighborhood or carpool to your fave fro-yo shop. You seem to know the kind of music you love best, so try searching your fave artists' names and downloading their newest songs. Make a playlist on iTunes check out the iTunes' recommendations based off of your recent downloads...I find tons of songs there! We heart Maroon 5's new album Overexposed!


Catherine C.

by SelG4Ever on 7/6/2012 11:42:06 AM

 
 



MODMODMODMOD
I have two questions. I have a bump down there and it hurts only when i press on it. Should I worry? Is a pimple? And I got my period on the 30th of may lasy month, and the 23rd of april the month before. Ive been feeling crampy for awhile and my back is hurting. Im afraid im not going to get it. Ive had my period for 5 years...help!

 

Hey girl!

No need to be worried, it's probably just a pimple or irritated hair follicle. Ask your mom, sister, or someone you can talk to for advice on that. As for your period, don't be worried. Periods can be random at times, so you could just be getting your period a week or so late. If your period continues to be extremely irregular (though it sounds like it's normal), talk to a parent about seeing a doctor. Otherwise, you don't need to worry! 


Catherine C.

by futurewriter16 on 7/6/2012 11:41:36 AM

 
 



MODMODMOD!
1. I am 5'4, twelve, larger bust, regular-sized hips/waist/whatever. What body shape am I?
2. My family is gong to Disney soon. What kind of clothes should I pack? I am twelve, 5'4, wavy/curly brown hair that goes a few inches past my shoulders, brown eyes, tan skin.
3. My crush is my mom's friend's son and I only see him sometimes because we don't go to the same school. When I do see him, what should I talk about with him and how should I flirt? I'm only twelve, like I've said twice, so no "oh, you're so sexy" xD.
Sorry for all the questions and thank you so much!

 

Hey cutie!

It's hard for me to be able to tell your body shape without actually seeing you, but it sounds like you could have an hourglass shape, with a smaller bottom area. When you go to Disney, make sure to pack lots of comfy athletic shorts and t-shirts so that you can run around while staying comfortable. Jean shorts in the heat aren't always the best choice. You're going to want to put your hair in a cute pony or braid to keep it out of your face and stay cool. When you see your crush, talk about your interests and get to know him. Boys often love talking about themselves so give him a chance to do so. Ask him what his plans are for the summer and show off your cute personality. Be bubbly but not too pushy. Just be nice, friendly, and fun, and when you're ready, ask if he wants to hang out with you and a couple of your friends!


Catherine C.

by SelG4Ever on 7/6/2012 11:28:17 AM

 
 

I'm like Switzerland-neutral and also with great chocolate.
EPICEST QUOTE EVER. xD It's from Unwind.

by SelG4Ever on 7/6/2012 11:24:20 AM

 
 



MODMODMOD
im NEVER stuck in the middle. I'm always the one people are mad at. Like, literally, even if I didnt do anything. One time everyone at our lunch table except two people pulled this joke on the two people by whispering a fake secret, which got them all paranoid, and they pinned it ALL on me. They literally SAID out LOUD that they forgave everyone else (even the girl who started it) EXCEPT me, because I "always pull this crap". This happens CONSTANTLY. I am ALWAYS the one people are mad at even if I did nothing at all.
So anyway, how do I get people to stop doing this to me?! I swear, I do NOTHING to deserve this. They just always assume everythings MY fault. It is so annoying, i cant even describe how annoying it is...
Anyway, I hope you actually see this and give me a good answer...thanks mod!

 

Hey girl!

Hmm this is a toughie. If you're friends are always blaming you and getting mad at you, you might want to reconsider where your true friendships lie. First off, try removing yourself from these types of situations. If you notice that tension is building up around those around you, leave before you can even be blamed. If these are your good friends, you should sit down and talk to them. Explain that you find yourself always being blamed and would just like to know why they choose to blame things on you. Start expanding your friend circle and reaching out to other classmates...you could make a ton of new friends who are loyal, trustworthy, and won't even think about putting the blame on you when you're innocent. If you remove yourself from the situation, they won't have a reason to blame you! 


Catherine C.

by LuvYaBunches on 7/6/2012 8:28:58 AM

 
 



MOD
ok so a few months ago, i got my first team jacket ever! nd i was super happy, it has my last name on it. but a few weeks later, i kinda felt guilty,cause in my sport your last name really tells who nd what you are, like in hockey(or any sport)nd im part polish, nd now i really want to hyphen my mothers maiden name for my last name, nd im dead set on it, but my real question is, is it going to look weird, having just my regular old last name on my jacket, nd not my hyphenated new last name? nd what do i tell people if they ask? should i talk to my coach about maybe getting me a new jacket? oh nd i have not offfically changed it yet. thanks sooo much!

 

Hey girl!

No matter what name you choose, just rock it! It's really up to you whether you want to get a new jacket or change your last name, but whatever decision you make, be confident about it! If people ask about it, simply tell them the truth and show just how proud you are of your heritage! 


Catherine C.

by j4zm09 on 7/6/2012 1:39:39 AM

 
 

The Fashion Queens
┊  ┊  ┊  ┊
┊  ┊  ┊  ★
┊  ┊  ☆
┊  ★

My club's title says it all. I'm a fashion queen. And you can be too! I've given fashion advice to all my buds. Such as which type of clothing fits their body shape to what color they should wear to make their eyes pop! Fashion doesn't just mean cute clothes, though. There's also jewelry, makeup, and hair! Get fashion advice speedy quick right here and now by girls who are around your age!

by Effervescent on 7/5/2012 10:34:30 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!
My BF is super sweet and thoughtful, but when it comes to planning dates and taking the initiative, that's where he lacks. It seems like I'm always the one who plans dates and calls/texts first. I know he cares about me a lot because he treats like a princess, always there for me, buys/makes me things, and respects me. So why won't HE call ME or asks ME to do something? Should I be worried? Would should I do? PLEASE, PLEASE HELP.




Hey girlie,

Try not to overanalyze this! He clearly cares about you and wants to make you happy, but maybe he doesn't realize you want him to take the lead planning dates - you're always the one that organizes them, after all! Try asking him to plan your next hangout. That way, he can show you the kinds of things he likes to do, food he likes to eat, places he likes to go, etc. Don't whine about it, but you can even be honest and tell him you'd love it if he asked you out sometimes too. That way, he totally understand where you're coming from and can work harder to make ya happy Smile
Lauren C.

by squizzcute on 7/5/2012 9:25:33 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
I'm a tween who just started hitting puberty!I'm freaking out with pimples! Whats the best facial cleanser brand you recommend? I'm scared to try random things and then have a bad reaction to it!




Hey girlie,

I love Clean & Clear's Morning Burst Facial Cleanser! Clearasil and Jergens were always too harsh for my skin, but I have friends who love their face washes too. And then there's Noxema, Neutrogena, Proactiv (for really serious acne), Burts Bees and Kiehls. But you have to shop around and try a couple different cleansers before you find the one that works best with your skin type. Think about whether you have oily skin, dry skin, combination skin, sensitive skin, etc., then buy the product that is designed to work best for your skin type. 
Lauren C.

by Random_Rainbow5 on 7/5/2012 9:25:17 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!!
Okay i've had my period for two years now. my last period started on may 31 and ended on June 6. By the normal length of my cycle I shouldv'e started yesterday, but didn't. I'm a swimmer so I have been wearing tampons every morning in case it starts. Should I be worried I haven't started? Should I just keep wearing tampons to be prepared? Thanks!




Hey girlie,

You shouldn't be worried that it hasn't started - especially if you're not sexually active. Even though you've had it for 2 years already, it's still COMPLETELY normal for it to be irregular sometimes! It's affected by lots of things, like changes in stress, sleep, and diet. So changes are it's just a little late Smile But try not to wear tampons while you're waiting for it - it's not good to wear them if you don't need them. If you're really worried about leaking and want to stay protected, use a pantyliner instead <3
Lauren C.

by quest6c on 7/5/2012 8:59:12 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD next year Im going to a new school and I really want to make a good impression and maybe even get a BF . fyi , Im usually the shy one in my group of friends so how can I meet new people . thnx so much =D




Hey girl,

The best way to reach your goal is to push yourself out of your comfort zone! It's easy to close yourself off, be nervous, and keep to yourself. But when you're at a new school and in the first couple days, it is TOTALLY acceptable to try sitting with new groups at the lunch tables, strike up a convo with the person at the locker next to yours, stop by club meetings to test them out, etc. You gotta take risks - and, even though it's scary at times, it'll really pay off Smile The more confident you act, the more confident you will feel. And the more people you talk to, the better chance you'll find that group of friends that really "clicks" for you - and the better chance you'll meet new guys in the process, who could turn into BF material Smile
Lauren C.

by auslly123 on 7/5/2012 8:47:52 PM

 
 

Whenever I want to help my friends stop a fight, I try to help them see the other's point of view without getting too involved.

by supersingershannon on 7/5/2012 7:47:40 PM

 
 

Good advice...
The worst part of any fight though is not thinking before you say\do something, even as just an observer.

by Acutiebookworm on 7/5/2012 7:17:03 PM

 
 



Mod Mod Mod
What exactly do moderators do? My older sis is looking for a job around the GL HQ area, and she thinks it would be fun. Thanks for your help!




Hey girlie,

On our modding shifts, we approve comments, screen them for bad language/offensive topics, approve clubs, and most importantly answer advice questions. Your sis could also apply to be an intern at the GL offices, since interns cover lots more stuff - writing articles for the web, testing products, updating Facebook/Twitter, transcribing interviews, and assisting with all sorts of magazine tasks! Smile
Lauren C.

by cheerfulcheer on 7/5/2012 6:27:50 PM

 
 



MOD
I have a problem. I really, really want to do 3 different things this year. The issue is that they interfere with each other. I did two of them last year and barely made it work, but with the 3rd one I would end up missing a lot of each of them. Please help!




Hey girlie,

You definitely don't want to spread yourself too thin/commit to too many things because you won't be able to enjoy any of them. Try to make a list of all the things you like about each thing. Which one will make you happiest in the end? Are you able to do any aspects of one of them on your own in your spare time? (i.e. instead of joining a painting class, paint on your own. But you can't learn physical things like dance on your own, so you should take classes for that.) It's not going to be easy to decide, but you have to weigh your options and then go with what feels "right" in your heart <3 
Lauren C.

by actress12345 on 7/5/2012 6:03:06 PM

 
 



Modmodmod
Okay, so my parents won't let me wear makeup until I start high school this year. The original plan was to wait until I was 16, but they changed it for whatever reason. I know I should be grateful, and I am. I am going to camp and staying in the dorms for a week and I won't know anyone there. I'm a little bit nervous. I really want to wear makeup there. Do you think it would be okay to ask? If so, how should I ask without sounding too greedy?




Hey girlie,

You could totally ask - just to get a little practice for high school and to give you a confidence boost since you're a little nervous for camp. Just be humble and respectful - and make sure they know you're grateful that you get to wear it soon. Understand that they might say no (it's already great that they compromised to let you start in the fall!), but it's always worth asking Smile 
Lauren C.

by janbradylolz on 7/5/2012 5:35:23 PM

 
 

Hey guys!!! I just made a new club called OneDirectionInfection and i was hoping to have some new members. In there we can talk about ANYTHING 1D and obsess over their awesomeness please join!!

by harley6671 on 7/5/2012 5:29:20 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMODMODMODMODMODMODMODMODMODMOD
I NEED to find a blue and white striped just like the one yall showed in the picture for this post. Plz let me know where I can find one like it! (and a pair of red jeans too) thx!!!!!l plz reply ASAP

 

Hey girlie!  Blue and white striped tees are in lots of places, check places like Target and Walmart!  Colored jeans are in right now, too, so check Macy's, Delia's, and other stores with juniors sections!  Good luck! xoxo 


Kate G.

by Charlotte12sky4 on 7/5/2012 3:13:24 PM

 
 

Want to be on the big screen one day? Ache to be a singer? Wish you could model? We're the club for you. Lights, Camera, Action gives you advice on the best ways for you to snatch that career and start living your dream. Who says dreams are only for our heads? This club will also help you out in sticky situations, boys, friends, and inner beauty. Join Lights, Camera, Action!

by pretty123 on 7/5/2012 3:00:32 PM

 
 

Thanks! This really helps!

Love shopping? Need style advice? Live for fashion? If you answered yes to any of these questions then my club, Fashion Blogs is for you! We share fashion and beauty tips, sales at our fave stores, our outfits of the day, new trends, polls, and quizzes! We also talk about celeb fashion and even have monthly contests! Positions are open to apply for too!
Please join now!
♥dancer♥

by dancer2998 on 7/5/2012 2:52:14 PM

 
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