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What to do if you think a friend needs help

It’s easy to pretend that everything is all right—for you, for your family, for your friends. But sometimes, it’s just not, and that’s when its time to...
29 Comments | Add Yours
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MOD



Hey girl,


I can only imagine how tough things are for you. Because we wish you only the best, it’s extremely important that you speak to a trusted adult, such as a family member, doctor, guidance counselor, teacher, etc.


 



Also, for additional help, check out: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx



 



, Your Blog Patrol Babes


 

Meghan D.

by lolomar on 1/14/2013 6:05:23 PM

 
 



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Yah I saw your last answer, thank you. I'm just worried about her and idk what to do. She's in the hospital and her friends dad said its bad. On a scale of 1-10 it's a 9. She overdosed again yesterday. I have never gotten to meet her but I really want to but if she doesn't make it...idk what I'm gonna do I'm scared for her. She was bullied at home and school, she cut, and she's suicidal. I can't fly to Alabama to go see her now, and my parents know NOTHING about this I can't talk to anyone about this except you...
-Peyton

 

There's really nothing you can do but send positivity her way and hope for the best. You could try to get her address and mail her a letter.  


Lynae P.

by Girlzrock123 on 12/2/2012 11:40:54 AM

 
 



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On my last post that I just sent...well I'm continuing to Kik my friends friends dad and he said that it doesn't look good and on a scale of 1-10 it's a 9....and that she overdosed again. I'm really scared please help me. I can't tell my parents about this because they would just get mad that I was contacting someone I didn't know. Please help me...

 

Hey Girlzrock123, sorry girly!! Just finished answering your question! Let me know if you see my response. Xoxo Smile 


Lynae P.

by Girlzrock123 on 12/2/2012 11:09:59 AM

 
 



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My friend that lives In another state that I have never met...we only Kik and tweet. She's in the hospital, she wanted to kill herself yesterday, and tried to overdose. Her dad called her friend to spend the night with her...but no one knew what she had done. Well I was Kiking her this morning and she didn't answer but here friends dad did, he said that she was in the hospital...I'm really scared mod please help me. I'm also scared that if she...doesn't make it that somehow I will get in trouble...idk how I would because the only thing I have ever done is help her

 

Hey Girlzrock123, you wouldn't get in trouble. I hope she starts to get better. It's a good thing she's in the hospital because she will be able to get the help she needs. Whenever you can talk to her again let her know you will be there for her. Hope this helps! Xoxo


Lynae P.

by Girlzrock123 on 12/2/2012 11:00:37 AM

 
 




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my friend is suicidal, what do I do? She lives in another state and idk what to do please help! I already gave her the national suicide hotline number...please help me!

 

If you know anyone closer to her, especially an adult, it would be a good idea to let them know that she's having problems so she can have someone to talk to and watch out for her nearby. Other than that, all you can do is be there for her. Make sure you let her know how much you care about her and want her to be happy. Encourage her to use the hotline number you gave her and do little things like send her texts and emails to let her know you're thinking about her. Always be there if she needs someone to talk to. Knowing she has someone out there who is thinking about her might help! xoxo Allie


Allie S.

by Girlzrock123 on 12/1/2012 6:59:52 PM

 
 



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Okay so here is the deal I have been really depressed since as long as I can remember, it is because of my many insecuritys. I have been cutting the side of my stomach for about a month, I need help, it is getting deeper and more addicting. Only my boyfriend knows about it and he has also tried to committ suicide multiple times. It just feels like sometimes I can't handle life. I am 13 I barely wiegh 80 pounds my boyfriend sometimes has to force me to eat at lunch because i want to starve myself. I guess what i'm trying to say is, my life is in shambles and i want to turn it around somehow but I don't know how.

 

Hey kennaroo623, know that you are worthy and deserve a wonderful life. Look at all the reasons you're cutting yourself. Then make a list of all the good things about you. Make a list of 10-20 things and this can include anything, even the way you make cereal. Read the list to yourself everyday until you start to feel better. Do you have a school counselor you can talk to? Set a meeting and confess how you're feeling and they may be able to help you. You can always talk to me too girl. Leave a message on my page and I'll be sure to get back to you. Hope this helps! Xoxo


Lynae P.

by kennaroo623 on 11/22/2012 9:49:10 PM

 
 



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okay i need help about my friend.....shes been really depressed lately and idk what to do....im the only one she talks to about it and i absolutly HATE seeing her like this! in science the other day..we were discussing cancer and afterwards, she said she wishes she had it so that she could die and no one would stare at her anymore! i try talking to her but its like shes not even hearing me! shes a beautiful person inside and out and i REALLY dont want her to make any decisions she'll regret....or worse......what should i do? please helpCryCry

 

hey! Your friend is exhibiting warning signs of depression or worse, thoughts of suicide. Whenever she says stuff like she wishes she could die, that's a clear cry for help. It means she's feeling worthless and she wants someone to step in and give her some support. Please tell your school's guidance counselor or a teacher about what your friend has said. They need to be able to keep an eye on the situation and offer your friend the help she needs. There are also hotlines you or your friend can call for support if she doesn't want to talk to anyone at school. here they are: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx 


Helen S.

by katiegurll;) on 11/3/2012 8:08:16 AM

 
 



MODMODMOD  

 

Hey girlie, it sounds like pill that you took should have taken care of it as long as you took it within 72 hours. So hopefully your chances are slim. But it never hurts to take the test just in case. Good luck! 


Lauren T.

by runlover on 10/14/2012 8:44:05 PM

 
 


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I'm used to getting discharge and everything but lately it's been a brownish-red. Is this my period? And if it is, I have no interest in telling my mom, but she doesn't use tampons and I probably will. How can I get them discreetly?




Hannah H.

by angelicjade on 10/11/2012 4:30:49 PM

 
 


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I was diagnosed with cancer about a month ago. About 2 years ago a friend of mine xxxxxxxx. I thought about it sometimes but all the flashbacks and stuff stopped after about a week. I wasn't really affected by it after that. For the past couple weeks I've had dreams about it. One of my favorite shows is Law and Order:SVU. I watch it all the time. An episode came on where 1 of the detectives had a flashback to her assault. I had seen that episode a million times and it never affected me like this. I had a really bad flashback and a dream about it that night. . And it just started about a week after I was diagnosed with cancer. Why is this happening? It hasn't bothered me in 2 years!




Hannah H.

by Snickie on 10/11/2012 4:14:41 PM

 
 


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I was diagnosed with cancer about a month ago. About 2 years ago a friend of mine sexually assaulted me. He tried to make me have sex with him. I never really thought much of it because he didn't actually rape me. I thought about it sometimes but all the flashbacks and stuff stopped after about a week. I wasn't really affected by it after that. For the past couple weeks I've had dreams about it. One of my favorite shows is Law and Order:SVU. I watch it all the time. An episode came on where 1 of the detectives had a flashback to her assault. I had seen that episode a million times and it never affected me like this. I had a really bad flashback and a dream about it that night. He didn't rape me so I don't know why this is happening. And it just started about a week after I was diagnosed with cancer. Why is this happening? It hasn't bothered me in 2 years!




Hannah H.

by Snickie on 10/11/2012 4:01:38 PM

 
 



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There is a guy i really really love and i think he might ask me out. The thing is i cant date and i dont want to break his beatifully amazing heart by saying no. My parents are jaimaician and very strict so if i ask them they will say that im trying to grow up to fast and that im only 10 so i cant be in love. But i feel like he is the one for me. Im even hiding my crush on him from them. PLEASE, PLEASE,PLEASE HELP ME. Also the mods never answer my post please answer this one.

 

Hey girl,

If you really feel as strongly as you say you do about this guy, then kudos to you! It's very rare to find something like that at your age, but let's think about this for a minute. Can you understand where your parents are coming from? I know it may seem like they're be unfair but they're only look out for you. In your mind you're old enough to start dating, but to them you're still they're 10-year-old little girl. Does that make sense? It's tough, but you have to realize that you have your whole life to feel as much love as you wish to and if you truly do love this boy, you shouldn't worry about your feelings changing over time and neither should he. xoxo 


Alexis G.

by hgrules on 10/4/2012 7:10:10 AM

 
 



Mod Mod Mod!
Every time my family does something fun and we come home, I get really sad. They call it post vacation let-down. I usually get over it within a week, but its a really rotten feeling. Any ideas on what I can do to forget about it?

 

Hey baileymoose, start bringing home things from your vacation. Maybe a keychain, t-shirt or mug, so the fun of the vacation is always with you. Hope this helps! Xoxo 


Lynae P.

by baileymoose on 9/23/2012 12:33:40 PM

 
 



Mod
now that im in middle school and in 7th grade, im not bullied so much, unless you take annoying guys who try to get on your nerves to the point where you yell at them as bullying. but i've also had my fair share of bullying all through out elementry school and some of 6th grade i've been bullied verbally, and i've been hit on perpose befor. But sometimes, its kind of hard to forget about somthing like being bullied, i remember one time a HUGE group of kids had ganged up on me, i had just been walking around playing alone, since im very shy and weird. well they started making fun of me, i got angry and yelled at them to go away, they just laughed and started throwing stuff at me, dirt, weeds, grass, i tried to get away, there were about atleast 10 kids, i tried to run but i couldnt, all i did was hold a rock and they twisted the story to where i was threatining to hit them with the rock. I got in trouble, and they got off the hook.




Hey girl, that's awful! I know it's rough, but I think the best thing you can do is know you're wonderful and put that icky past behind you. Tomorrow is another day. If you ever get bullied like that again though, don't hesitate to tell a teacher or adult. You should not have to deal with that, especially alone.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by lilacmoonstream on 9/17/2012 7:55:18 PM

 
 


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my friend spends a lot of time online, on tumblr mostly. she met some guy who says he is 16 and addicted to drugs, smokes, and has lung cancer. she is "going out" with this guy on the internet. i've tried telling her that he could be a child molester and everything, but she says she really likes him. what should i do? is there any way to help her without telling an adult?




Hannah H.

by yesnohellogoodbye on 9/13/2012 4:40:02 PM

 
 

My brother tried to commit suicide 3 years ago but luckily it failed he turned his life around and is taking classes a tai kwon doe or karate that his therapist recommended he also has a son that is 8 years old. My neighbor just committed suicide a couple months sgo snd succeeded this time unfortuantly i miss him
R.I.P Jay i we miss you
#Jay'sDream

by jazmine ann on 9/11/2012 7:04:27 PM

 
 



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school has started it's been about 3 weeks now. I have no classes with me old close friends, and now I don't even have a close friend. I have no clique or a core group of friends. I am super fun and sweet out going, and not be conceited but a cute sophomore. Last year I was sorta cool, now I am a noone. I eat with the nerdy kids that are quiet, but I was always nice to. I feel I can't be myself near them, because i'm loud, and I crack jokes that are funny but they wouldn't get. If I didn't have them though I would eat lunch with no one. I'm alone, I don't want to eat lunch in the bathroom. I don't really mind eating lunch by myself, but I would like to have a core group of friends to eat lunch with. help please. I try making new friends, but they end up just being friends, not really like me no one is similar to me and I don't have a bff where I hang out with them 24/7 and we do stuff together. help




Hey girl, that's totally OK that you don't have a BFF. I'd try sitting with different people and just getting to know a variety. Maybe you aren't meant to find people exactly like you — you're too busy being one of a kind and being friends with everyone. Look beyond cliques and just give people a chance in general. You'll find the ones you connect most with will become the group you're looking for, even if they all aren't friends with each other.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by andsothelionfellinlovewiththelamb on 9/10/2012 8:43:20 PM

 
 

In the comments I read alot about cutting and I know I'm not a mod and I don't cut but for girls that do try something called the butterfly project.. Here is how it works if you cut try drawing a butterfly on your wrists and if you cut you have killed it. If you don't it lives and no washing it off,that kills it as well.. Try going this everytime you have the urge.. I really hope all the cutters out there get better and stop cutting. <3<3<3 lots of love
-bri <3

by XxBriXD on 9/10/2012 8:39:10 PM

 
 

Hey girls!
Need advice about absolutely anything? Got a prob you're embarrassed to go to other people about? Feeling the need to vent about the awful day you just had or anything else and always get a supportive response? That's what I'm here for I absolutely love helping you all by giving top notch advice on any subject under the sun. Seriously ask me about anything....I mean the worst I can say is that I can't answer your question right?! I promise not to judge you and to give each question my undivided attention and thought.
I also give you my honest word that I will never tell you what you want to hear and instead will always tell you the truth and my HONEST opinion about everything.

So if you need advice (or just want a friend to talk too...I <3 meeting new people on here it's SO fun!!) don't hesitate to comment on my profile...it's just a click away<3

xoxo,
maggie183<3

by maggie183 on 9/10/2012 8:24:09 PM

 
 



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I used to cut but then I stopped because I realized it just wasn't worth it. Whenever I have a bad day I just tell myself what my favorite teacher told me, its not going to last forever. Well theres this girl in my grade I tried telling her what my teacher told me but she wont listen. She cuts, she's been to a mental center for help she even wrote on her wrist "Don't eat!" and cut herself around it. Were not friends just acquiescent. But I've been down that road and don't want anybody to suffer like I did.
How can I help?




Hey girl, tell your guidance counselor or an adult. It's always you want to help, but at this point, it's going to take more than just words of encouragement for this girl. She's going to need a little more help getting on the right path, but she'll thank you someday for being the person who helped directed her to it by helping her seek help. Keep shining, girl!

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by hinatagal on 9/10/2012 8:16:58 PM

 
 



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My friend got sick from skool today, she isn't hyper and happy like she usually is.. (T_T) ah...I wanna cheer her up tomorrow at skool, but idk how? If I be too hyper and nice she'll get annoyed! Trust me I know her since kindergarten! Anywho, got any tips? She gets annoyed relly fast when sick, she went to the doc's today and got medicine but she says it's the same thing and it don't help at all but it takes time..




Hey girl, stinks to hear your friend is sick but I think the only thing that will make her really feel better is well, her getting better and that takes time. You can't make her illness go away. Be attentive, tell her to get well soon and ask if there's anything you can do to help (maybe make soup or lend her your fave movie to watch while she's resting). Beyond that, let nature do its thing.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by Susmita24 on 9/10/2012 7:08:50 PM

 
 

Me,my friends, and a bunch of others wrote LOVE on our wrist today. Im going to do the candle lighting tonight. NO ONE SHOULD FEEL THAT WAY. LOVE LIFE THE WAY IT IS EVEN IF IT'S BAD!!!

by purple_purple on 9/10/2012 7:06:06 PM

 
 



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my bff cuts. she used to cut on her wrists but then her mom found out so she stopped for a while but admits that she cuts on her shoulders where her mom cant find them... She is a really happy person should i be worried?




Hey girl, yes you should, and you should let her mother know what she's doing too. Every time she cuts herself, she's putting her life at risk. Self harm is NEVER OK no matter how happy-go-lucky your pal may appear to be. Talk to a counselor and even your parents to ensure you're handling this in the best way possible and that she's getting the help she needs before something awful happens. 

xoxo
Alyssa B.

by favcolorgreen on 9/10/2012 6:53:55 PM

 
 



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My best friend recently left me and won't tell me why. I went through a couple of weeks of being very depressed, and now it's strange, because I just feel nothing. Like I don't have emotions. And I don't know if this is shock or not. Is this shock? It's not like I feel there's something in myself that's missing, I just feel nothing. Is this a stage of grief?




Hey girl, I wouldn't say it's shock (shock isn't a stage of grief. The five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance). I think in your case, you've felt so much that you just don't have anything left to feel, no emotional energy (so you're nearing the last stage, acceptance). I know I've been there, and it's a major bummer. Losing people abruptly stinks, and it's going to take a while for you to get used to your world sans your best friend. So just hang in there and spend time with the other friends around you (especially if you've tried reaching out to your ex-BFF and she just won't respond). You won't feel empty forever, I promise. Be strong! xoxo
Alyssa B.

by svds on 9/10/2012 6:42:50 PM

 
 

My best friend tried committing suicide twice several years ago. She used to cut also but now she's 7 months clean of that Smile She says she's good now but I know she has problems. She isn't on the verge of cutting or killing herself at all now. I just thought I'd share her story Smile

by 1corinthiansgurl on 9/10/2012 6:15:40 PM

 
 


Hey girl, unfortunately in this case, there's only so much you can do. You're taking a great first step by letting her know you care. Let her know if she ever needs to talk you're there for her and actively check on her yourself every once in a while. If she starts to sound negative, a) try to spin her thoughts so they're positive and b) warn her 'rents. Talk to your 'rents about this too — this is really heavy stuff no one, regardless what his or her age is, should go through alone. Best of luck and just keep being a good friend to her. xoxo
Alyssa B.

by svds on 9/10/2012 6:07:34 PM

 
 

I knew a woman who my dad cleaned for who committed suicide. we weren't all that close, but she gave me a lot of stuff, and we had a lot in common. her death shook me up a lot. I just feel so bad for the people thinking it's the only way out BECAUSE IT'S NOT. there are people who want to help,and God will help you if you pray to Him!!! suicide is selfish, and life is to precious for you to end.

by Kstar101 on 9/10/2012 4:54:54 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!
hi, so I have a friend that I've had in my classes a couple times before, we aren't super close at all, but we talk sometimes. Well she wears black a lot and she has lines on her wrists. I'm not sure if they are cuts or if she was just leaning on something and got red lines there. I don't know if I should be concerned or not. She's really nice and she seems semi happy but I do know that she is really close to 2 little kids who have serious health issues. Help??

 

Hey girly, your a great friend for being so concerned. I think you'll find the resources you need here:  http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx

If you still need help, check back with us.  Wishing you and your friend the best!

Lauren I.

by kpianoplayer on 9/10/2012 4:21:36 PM

 
 

Me and my friends all wrote LOVE on the back of our hands for today. I am in Middle School but last year a girl at our high school committed suicide. I am going to tell all of my friends about the candle thing.

LOVE THE WORLD AND LOVE THE PEOPLE IN IT <3

by turnonthemusic1 on 9/10/2012 3:46:52 PM

 
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