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5 secrets to dealing with a catty friend

We know you heart your hunnies, but have you ever had a friend that sometimes goes to the dark side? You know, maybe she started offering backhanded...
28 Comments | Add Yours
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MOD MOD MOD

My friend named Katie is sometimes nice but she yells and pokes,elbows,or jabs me alot and not in the playful way. She acts childish the way she acts makes me not want to be her friend. How do i tell her I don't want to be her friend and not hurt her feelings?

 

Hey girl! Just be honest. Tell her you don't want to hurt her feelings but you're uncomfortable with the poking and jabing. Have a good convo and hopefully you guys can move forward from there!

xo 

Taeler L.

by destine02 on 8/10/2013 10:46:39 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
this jerk in my grade (my ex-BFF) is spreading rumors about me and some of my friends. Scince she is populer and we are not, people listen. I tried confronting her new BFF, asking her too stop, talking too adults. but everyone thinks she is a "perfectly innocent princess". If i leave it, she just keeps knawing at my flesh. trust me, i have tried. she knows some harmful stuff about my BGF, also. should i let her tell everyone true/false aboutme and him, or should i play dirty too?

 

Hey girlie, instead of playing dirty, try confronting her and telling her that you will if she doesn't stop. If you have anything on her that she wouldn't want other people to know she might stop spreading rumors. Otherwise just ignore her. Pretend that you don't hear any of the rumors and that they don't bother you. 


Lauren T.

by 513520cb on 5/5/2013 7:53:53 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
So it's near the end of sixth grade,and ever since the beggining my old BFF for 3 years in elementary school has found a new group of the most popular girl in school.She has a bunch of classes with them,and I don't even have one with her.I've sat at their table before,but I feel reall left out.The thing is,one of these girls is her ex best friend from 2nd grade and her neighbor for a little while.The thing is,I already have a new group of best friends who also went to my
elementary school,and I've made a LOT of newfriendfrom other schools,some who you could say are popular.I could get along fine without her,but there's something missing in me because weve been bffs so long.I have church with her too,and we always talk there,it's like it's back to normal.I've already told her that she's ignoring me.She doesn't sit with me on the bus because one of her new bffs rides my bus too.She said I could sleep over,but one of her new friends did.What do I do?

 

Hey girl, I would talk to her again. Tell her how you feel and what you miss about your relationship. Try and hang out just you two so you guys can bond again. 


lauren r.

by katniss50309 on 4/6/2013 7:40:46 AM

 
 

I have this friend lets just call her M.M and I have been really good friends ever since 4 grade.I have been crushing on this kid (we will call him K) ever since 2 grade. Last year I told K I liked him.Well turns out he liked me back.We started dating.M got mad and tried to steal him.Im not sure why.That turned into a ginormous fight. We had a few other fights over the same thing and then she started trying to turn me into a bad guy.We had more and more fights but I tried to be nice.I started branching out and trying to get more friends.She freaked out about that too and tried to make me stay her friend only.I told her if she wasnt going to let me have any friends that I couldnt be her friend.She freaked and started trying to steal my new friends.I finally told my new friends what was happening.They stopped being her friends and M accused me of stealing HER friends.Now she bullies me and I just want her to leave me alone but she won't. What do I do?

by Les on 1/16/2013 6:14:43 PM

 
 

Thanks for the advice Laughing

by Glitter_Freak on 1/2/2013 7:21:01 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!!
Im having MAJOR probs with this girl at my school. At the beginning of the school year we were friends and after two months our friendship crashed and burned. What really kills me is the fact that it was demolished my a fundraiser of all things because she was pressuring me to donate when i didnt want to. I know this sounds really stupid but now shes carrying this whole thing on and starting to bully me in a whole different way. Shes starting to hack my accounts for things and made fun of me and tried to get my bff to ditch me. Well to sum it all up i just need advice on how to get her to stop because im afraid to go back to school after holidays how can i stand up to her? how can i get her to stop? Plz help!

 

hey girl! while the end of the friendship started over something silly, this girl is taking the situation to a serious level. She's bullying you, and you should tell an adult to get it to stop. Consider confiding in a parent or a school guidance counselor. I'm sorry you have to go through this, but don't be afraid to go to school! Also, have a ehar to heart with your BFF so she knows the situation and this mean girl won't be able to manipulate her. good luck!

xoxo 


Katie L.

by Glitter_Freak on 1/2/2013 6:34:28 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!! (Lauren T.)
Well, I did tell her that I didn't mean to exclude and ignore her... multiple times. I tried apologizing many times as well. And she won't even look at me so it's kind of hard to talk to her. I did try talking to her, but she just walked away. I don't really care about being her friend now because she's a major drama queen and brat. I tried being really nice to her, bur she responded rudely and sarcastically and even told me she hopes I have a bad Christmas and a bad 1 month anniversary with my BF.

 

Hey girlie, if you've tried to talk to her then just start ignoring her. Like I said about her looking for attention, maybe the attention she's looking for is a reaction. If you don't give her the reaction she wants then eventually she'll get bored and move on. Good luck!


Lauren T.

by livelaughlove99 on 12/23/2012 6:34:47 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!!
I had this friend and we'll call her S. So I used to be best friends with S. She goes to school with me and lives down the street from me. Then I got a boyfriend, and she started feeling like the 3rd wheel even though I included her in a lot of things me & my bf did and paid a lot more attention to her than I did to my bf. one time, I brought her and my other friend to church. ( Bf & I go to same church ) So me and my other friend went over to my bf, but S walked over to her friends and hung out with them and then yelled at me and got all mad at me for not hanging out with her! ( I cant stand her friends. ) She could have very well come to me, my other friend, my bf, and all our other friends because she likes them all. So we got into a huge fight and wont talk to each other, but she texted me all this sarcastic stuff and is being really rude. And now he wont stop posting FB statuses about it! It's making me sooooo mad! What can I do??

 

Hey girlie, it's probably because she feels insecure. And doing this to you now makes her feel better about herself. Tell her that you haven't ever meant to exclude her or ignore her and you're sorry if she felt like you did. And tell her that it bothers you that she's doing this now. She's just looking for attention. You don't have to be best friends with her anymore, but you can give her a little attention to make her stop this.


Lauren T.

by livelaughlove99 on 12/23/2012 5:38:51 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!!!!!
I have this one friend and she is soooo annoying. She always talks about anime even though I absolutely hate it(i have nothing against it she just talks way to much about it so i hate it now) and when I ask her to stop she says "its your problem not mine" She has no manners and burps and passes gas all the time! Its so gross and when I ask her to stop she says no. She called my dad ugly and my parents old even though they are the same age as other parents. She said I have huge pores and my hair is super frizzy. When I get upset at her she has a temper tantrum, yells at me,cries then tells the teacher on me! She pouts and acts like a baby then tells people I am a bad person. She still plays with littlest pet shops and we are 13! The bad part about that is she brings them to school. She calls herself stupid but then says I am too! She also shares way to much information on her body with me! What should I do??


Hey girl,

If she's talking to a teacher about things you said to her, maybe it's time that you speak with an adult about what she says to you, too. You could also try sitting down with her and having a conversation about the things she says to you, and let her know that some of the things she does hurt your feelings. If she still doesn't take what you're saying seriously, it might be time to branch out and find some new buds.

Meghan D.

by cupcakecutie325 on 12/17/2012 7:45:52 PM

 
 

Hey everyone!! so I have a friebd named kailee! We Have been best friends since last year! (6th grade) and now we have a bunch of classes this year so i thought awesome!! More time together...... no. She met a girl Named Lizzie and i don't like her because i feel like she likes my boyfreind. She just doesn't care anymore and it's all about Her. I Miss her... but is it time to move on.??? Advice.... :/

by brittanyrocks22 on 12/15/2012 10:31:50 AM

 
 



I have this "friend".I hate her, she is bitchy and she has admittedly told people she thinks im obnoxious and annoying, the problem is we have soo many mutual friends that it is really hard for us to not annoy the hell out of eachother.i DON'T WANT TO BREAK OUR Friends Appart so i am trying so hard to simply ignore her rude comments and attitudes but its ridiculous that some days she is like happy and fun and then all the sudden she is making a rude comments.I have talked to some of my best friends and they notice the harsh comments.The problem is if you tell her something was mean or get offended she simply says, "well they shouldn't be so sensitive"she is so judgemental.Now before you start to say don't take it to heart,believe me i try i am a naturally happy go lucky kid and i try hard to just flick away her attitude towards me and ignore it but as my best friend said,eventually im going to break and tell her how much i dislike her and i just dont want to break up our group. Advice?

 

Hey cutiekj, oh I know where you're coming from girl. I had a friend likes this once. Just because you two aren't friends doesn't mean your friend circle has to break up or choose side, so make this clear to them. Let them know you want everything to remain the same, and that they don't have walk on egg shells around you. They can still talk about her around you or invite her to events. Although it may be hard, try to talk to her. Explain to her you aren't trying to be enemies, you just don't want to be friends. Hope this helps! Xoxo


Lynae P.

by cutiekj on 12/7/2012 6:02:26 PM

 
 

So I have this this friend and she wants to befriends with one of my friends MORE THAN ANYTHING but she has been talking behind both of our backs and when I ask her she always lies me and my friends are SOOOOO TIRED of being her friend. What should I do?

by Dancerrr on 12/4/2012 2:18:49 AM

 
 

Hey girl,

Because we wish only the best for you and your friend, it's extremely important that you encourage her to speak with a trusted adult such as a parent, older family member, teacher, guidance counselor or doctor ASAP. For additional help, you can refer her to this post: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx

Meghan D.

by appleduck101 on 11/24/2012 12:04:32 AM

 
 

Hey girls! Need some quick advice on random things? Click here: http://www.girlslife.com/AdviceQueen.aspx?id=10119
Its amazing!

by kathapple17 on 11/23/2012 5:50:15 PM

 
 



!!!!MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!
Ok my best friend is being a jerk to me. She thinks its all about her and never about anybody else. She thinks everything has to be fun and games and BOYS! It bothers me because I'm to young for a boyfriend so is she but she doesn't care. And she's also a jerk to her sister, calling her names and bringing her down. It bothers me because her sister is really sweet but she is a jerk to her and me!! But also we pick her and her siblings up from school so it's gonna be awkward!! I want to not fight but I'm not apologizing cause it's her she thinks I'm snobby and rude to her!! But she's always telling me to do stuff and I used to until recently so she's being a jerk! WHAT SHOULD I DOFrown???

 

hey girl! ouch, she doesn't seem so sweet. maybe it's time to move on...? try expanding your friend circle and trying out some new hobbies on your own to give ya some distance.

xoxo 


Katie L.

by Cupcake_queen_101_ on 11/21/2012 4:13:36 PM

 
 

I like the idea of going straight to the source. So many times girls get caught up in the drama of it all. Often when they realize that this is you they are talking about and hurting in the process, they'll stop the nonsense. -Sheri Gazitt from teenwiseseattle

by sheerios on 11/19/2012 3:17:32 PM

 
 




mod mod mod
I am having some friendship issues. My "friends" told me that I need to do something useful with my life because I play video games. They're saying this kind of stuff to me because they were being rude to me and my friends, so we stopped hanging out with them at lunch. It really hurt my feelings because they BOTH play video games, and they were my best friends. How can I deal with this? Frown Thanks

 

Hey pokemon_girl11, don't stress because you know they're only saying this because you stopped hanging with them. Call a truce and ask if everyone can put the past behind and get to being best friends again. Hope this helps! Xoxo


Lynae P.

by pokemon_girl11 on 11/12/2012 12:37:26 AM

 
 

Hey girls..... Do you need advice?
I have been through a lot, and I give advice on:
•guys
•periods
•boobs
•growing up
•parents
•friends
•make up
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So click click click my profile and ask away, I will not judge and no question is dumb or stupid!

by kat_13 on 11/9/2012 12:57:34 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD!
Well, my friend is really catty and gossips constantly. She gossips about this girl she hates and then she goes to that girl and talks about how much she hates me. I found out a day ago that she was texting all about me and my BF, and I think she said something to him, because now he is kinda pissy to me. I just want to stop this where it started, but every time I talk to her about her arrogant behavior, she flips out. She is either a great friend or a total backstabber. I'm stuck in the middle of her lies. I really need some help!

Hey girl,

I would try to talk to her without being confrontational--say you like hanging out with her but that you don't appreciate her gossiping about others who are your friends, too. If that doesn't work, it's okay to talk to an adult like a guidance counselor or parent to help sort things out.

Meghan D.

by mikaelaeb on 11/2/2012 10:54:14 PM

 
 

My friend and I have been friends for ages but we dont have a class together and now we dont get to see each other that much and i am hanging out with some of my other friends and my friend jumps to conclusions that i dont want to be her friend anymore and she says i am not a "true friend" and she doesnt say this to my face she messages it to me. She is honestly getting on my nerves because she is jumping to conclusions like i am going to ditch her and never be her friend again. help, because i dont know what to tell her.

Hey girl,

It's normal for your friend to be jealous, although it sounds like she's being a little rude about it. Let her know you are always there for her and still want to be her friend, but that you have other friends, too. Why not introduce her to your other friends? That way, you can all hang out together!

Meghan D.

by LunaEstrellas on 11/2/2012 9:32:26 PM

 
 

I deal with catty friends by trying to set an example for how to act in myself.

by otter77 on 10/30/2012 10:07:55 AM

 
 

Hey all! I'm really good at giving advice. so if you can trust me, let me know what's been buggin ya lately and maybe I can help ya out! Ask about anything from guys to family and everything you can possibly think of to ask!
Just vist my advice queen page. I'm on every single day. So guess what! NO WAITING!!! Looking forward to helping ya out!

by Becca<3's you on 10/29/2012 8:54:07 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!
Hi! I was wondering, is it weird if the girl is fatter than the guy? My friend "Ella" likes a guy named "Josh" and she thinks it would be weird if they dated because she says she is really short and fat compared to him. He is 5' 11'' and she is 5'6''. I keep telling her it doesn't matter what they look like, but she won't believe me! I'd love it if you could give me some reasons or examples to show her that she can date Josh. Please help!
Thanks so much! <3
-Jezebel




Hey girl, it totally doesn't matter. It's personality that counts. Remind her it's about what's on the inside and that she's beautiful (and Josh, should he date her, already believes that). Tell her to focus on letting her inner personality shine and not let appearance stop her from what could be a really good experience and guy!

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by DancePartyChick200 on 10/29/2012 8:49:47 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
Me and my friend "Susie" have been drifting since last year when she got into the wrong crowd.... Then in the summer she kinda broke free from them then we became friends again. Everything was fine until I heard roomers that she started getting into bad stuff again and her friends are nice, but the type of people that would get themselves into a bad situation. I really don't know what to do. I have high hopes for the future and I don't want to let her drag me down. I have best friends with her since 4th grade and I'm scared to lose her but I'm also scared to stay her friend. Please help..... I really don't know how to handle this or what to do.




Hey girl, stick to hanging with her one-on-one and if you're legit worried about her, speak up. You don't have to let her fall into this bad path. Let her know you're legit concerned and you want to make sure she realizes what she's doing worries you and others. Aside from that, build up your other groups of friends. You can stick by Susie, but if you're going different ways, it's OK to have different best friends.

xoxo
Alyssa B.

by Chrysanthymum on 10/29/2012 8:20:34 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD my two friends and I are trying to figure out our halloween costumes. we (obviously!) only have a day or two left. my one friend Casey is up for whatever me and my other friend Jo pick out. We were gonna buy a costume from party city but they're so expensive! I wanna be creative and make something from what we have at home, but Jo's turning down my ideas like we're too cool for them. like I suggested ballerinas and charlie's angels but she turned them down. first, I don't know what to do about Jo! I wanna do a cute and creative costume but sh keeps turning them down. what should I do? second, can you help me brainstorm for some costume ideas? Preferably something we could do at home. not princesses or superheroes though (so many people already do those!). thanks!! Smile




Hey girl, I'd continue making suggestions and telling her that if you guys use stuff from your closet, you'll be able to invest more in accessories. In terms of ideas, maybe try children's book characters (Madeline's super cute), beauty queens (homecoming dress and sash and crown), or pop stars (Kesha, Lady Gaga and Katy Perry maybe?)

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by thatsnotawkward on 10/29/2012 6:11:17 PM

 
 



MOD!
One of my best friends has an odd relationship with one of my other best friends. "Sally" and "Sara" have had numerous fights where they gossip about each other constantly, though it's mostly on Sally's end, huge text fights with bad language, "private talks" with me about each other (also mostly Sally), and yet they still think of each other as besties. They both think that it is mature to be friends, but I disagree because Sally is always coming to me with complaints about Sara. Isn't this some sort of hint about whether or not they should be friends? I know it's not really my business to tell them who to not be friends with, but Sally is constantly hurting Sara's feelings by criticizing her every move and I hate to see her with her feelings hurt. Is there anything I can do? How to I prevent Sally from sucking me into her cycle of sometimes liking Sara and sometimes dissing her to her face and getting me involved? This is a major party pooper, btw…
Thanks!




Hey girl,  I'd let Sally and Sara decide whether they want to be friends, but there is one thing you can do: tell Sally you'll no longer be the girl in the middle. Tell her that while you appreciate her opening up to you, you don't want to take sides in their relationship. You like them both and it hurts you to hear her say such mean things about Sara. If she continues to go on about Sara, change the subject or ignore it.

xoxo
Alyssa B.

by cmfox99 on 10/29/2012 5:18:08 PM

 
 

When I'm stuck in the middle of a catty fight I just try not to get involved and I walk away. If it really gets out of hand, I try to be the mature one and end it... somehow.

by YouCanCallMeCat on 10/29/2012 3:27:48 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!
This girl at my church is nice to me when its just us, but when i'm around my other friends she sometimes gets rude and mean. Sometimes she'll be talkin about "american" people (we're hispanic), and then she'll randomly look at me and be like "Oh, no offense!" even though she knows im hispanic american. Also, one time we had this church sleepover for girls only and when this lady asked whos trash was left on the floor, she said, "Oh its hers!(as in me) She's such a pig!!" even though she knew my only trash was a cup that I already threw away. My REAL friend told me about that when I had left the room. And I know she wouldnt lie to me becuz we are best friends and we know how mean she gets sometimes. Sorry this is sooo long but I really try to be her friend even though its soooo hard! What should I do? Should I stay her friend or should I just stop trying?? Sorry and thanks in advance Smile




Hey girl, I think if you aren't getting anything but hurt and agony from this relationship, it's not worth being in. Let her fight for you and focus your time on friends who make you feel good about who you are, not those who just put you and others down. Friendships should enrich and make you better, not make you feel worse.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by caityrican on 10/29/2012 3:20:42 PM

 
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