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My bestie isn't acting like a very good friend

BFF’s are supposed to be loyal, right? Well, my BFF is a different story. She does not call me back, and when I ask if...
26 Comments | Add Yours
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about 2 years ago, me and 2 of my BFFs started really getting into making videos. we were in the middle of one when one of my friends (lets call her P) started making fun of me. my other friend (lets call her H) started joining in. i tried to tell them to stop, but they wouldn't. i finally stopped the video and started putting up the camera. they didn't understand what was wrong, even when i tried to explain it to them. H is one of my closest friends now, but i'm no longer friends with P. she started insulting me a lot through text, and then would tell me she didn't mean it (after doing it so much, i stopped believing her). I've been made fun before, but i'm afraid P will start making fun of me again or starting rumors, or just that something like this will happen again. how do i stop worrying so much?

 

Hey girlie, there's nothing you can do to prevent it so worrying won't help anything. If it does happen again just ignore her. She wants to upset you so don't give her the reaction she's looking for. 

Lauren T.

by ladybugg on 7/28/2013 8:26:24 PM

 
 

I love this magazine and site. Im only eleven and this site has helped me through many things. I didn't get my July/ August issue yet. Just saying.
--- Katie <3

by katie91501 on 7/2/2013 11:04:24 AM

 
 

hi annoyed by bff!,
i think what your friend is doing is not acceptable,but have you ever noticed maybe that she has problems and tries to hide them! if she keeps acting so mean confrount her, ask her why she is acting so mean, ask if something is wrong! an other thing could be she is in her teen years and she is having a hard time! maybe you guys should have a bff day together! and remind her your there for her! if that doesnt work then start making new friends so when it goes wrong you will not be alone! Smile i hope my advice works, and remeber im just a teen so remeber dont take my ideas to seriously! Smile

by annelie on 6/29/2013 11:45:47 AM

 
 

One day my BFF dumped me for these two other girls because she didn't like me and now she won't talk to me but I talke to her. It hurts trust me I am still trying to fight through with it. No one should have to go through these problems but everyone does.

by Volleyballchick79 on 5/11/2013 3:36:42 PM

 
 

I don't know who my real BFF is!!!!! My one BFF is always mean self-centered and brags ALOT!!!! Should I still call her my best friend even if she has a REALLY big mouth? I don't know if I should blame her and I don't know how to tell her how much of a untrustworthy she is to me. I don't know what to say she takes medication for the way she acts. PLEASE HELP I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY!!!!!

by kelly4489 on 5/7/2013 9:21:57 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
Today at school I was playing around with my friend like linking my arms then my one "best friend" says "I am not standing by you" then the 2 other girls moved away to. At the beginning I thought it was funny then I went to go stand by them and they moved away so I shrugged it off and went to stand by them because I didn't want to be alone. Then they said "No I don't want to be by you" Then at lunch they said "Hey, sit by me" I said "NO IF YOU DON'T WANT TO STAND BY ME THEN WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO SIT BY ME!!" Then I stormed off and the whole lunch they didn't say anything. When I got home I got a text from one friend saying "I'm sorry about what I said...it was meaning to be a joke but, the tone I said it in probably made it hurtful" So I forgave her but my other friend texted me "What did I do? It wont help if you ignore me!" But this isn't the first time she has done this... so should I forgive her even though she has done this before and didn't say sorry?

 

Hey zippyhorse, I think you should forgive her. I don't think she meant to hurt your feelings. Even her texting you "what did i do?" shows she wasn't trying to be mean. Your other friend said it was a joke, so let them know it hurts your feelings. I'm sure they won't do it again if you explain how it makes you feel. Hope this helps! Xoxo Smile 


Lynae P.

by zippyhorse on 4/23/2013 7:08:26 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!
I really need your help! My "best friend" was my actual best friend since 1st grade. Now all of a sudden, she turned her back on me! She hangs out with all these people who don't like me because she told them rumors about me. She calls them her best friend when she just met them that year! She always lies to me now and sneaks out to hang out with other people.. I'm sick of her lying to me that she's going out to eat when she's actually going out with a friend. I feel jealous when she says she's with someone else because we never hang out anymore.. And everytime at school when she's with her so called "best friend" and sees me, she ignores me and walks faster... IDK what to do!!! HELP!!




Hey girlie. It sounds like it's time for one last intervention. Have her sit down with you, and explain to her that you really value her as a friend and you have for a really long time, but the way she's acting right now isn't at all how a best friend should be acting. If she doesn't seem to be able to take you seriously, or if she acts like she doesn't care, it's probably time to pull back and work on strengthening your relationship with other friends. 
Florence N.

by danieluv124 on 4/19/2013 11:25:54 AM

 
 

I have a really great friend. When i moved to a new school in the fifth grade, she was very excited to meet me and we stayed best friends for the whole year. I felt like i knew her forever! Well, we stayed in touch over the summer but when school started, things changed. She met a new girl on her softball team and they became BFFs. They are both really nice and awesome people, but when they are together its like they mute out the rest of the world and live in their own personal little world where they whisper to each other.I consider them both good friends of mine, but still... I know i should give them some personal time together since i know what its like, but theyre practically together 24/7. I just want my best friend back! Any Advice? Please Help! Smile

by smileyface11401 on 4/17/2013 5:19:21 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD
so my "best friend" is being such a jerk to me. She calls a ton of people her best friend. I understand she wants more friends than just me, and i want more friends than her and i do have more friends than just her, but she's calling people she barley knows her best friend. Also, she totally left me in the dust for this one girl who was her "best friend" & then i wasn't her best friend anymore and she did the same thing to me last year too. She ignores me, and thinks she's way cooler and better than my friends and I. But when her and the other girl (this year) are in a fight she wants to come back to me and she expects me to just act like nothing happened, and that we're still best friends. The truth is, I don't mind still being her friend but i don't wanna be her best friend. I just can't do this anymore i'm so tired of being her second option. I'll still talk to her and stuff but i just don't think i can be her best friend anymore. What should I do? thanks,xoxo

Hey girl, it sounds like you've got it figured out: you can keep being friends with this girl but you don't have to be the best of friends.  That's totally okay because you can't be super-close with everyone.  Invest your time and energy with people who make you feel positive.  Good luck, chica.  


Karin E.

by 1D&CottonCandy on 4/11/2013 3:46:45 PM

 
 

I have a friend at school that gets mad at me for the littlest things. One time I told her she had a bump in her ponytail so she could fix it before school and she totally freaked out about it and was super mean to me. What do I do?

by Battey100 on 4/9/2013 9:08:21 PM

 
 



~MODMODMOD~
Well i have this friend. Lets call her "Jen" We have been friends for 7 years. Well a few months ago she was dating this guy. i liked him and she knew it. She broke up with him and told me the only reason she dated him was because she felt bad for him and that she never liked him cuz he was a jerk. a week later he asked me out. i said yes since she broke up with him. She started crying and spreading horrible rumors about me and telling everyone not to be my friend. well it has been about a month and she is over it. I told her i liked another guy. Lets call him "Mike" now she is dating him. she brags all the time and she knows i like him! Mike is my bgf and my crush. im so hurt. i cant tell her because she is a drama queen. she will stir up drama. i cant even look at him noww. Please help!! (sry its so long)

 

Hey strawberryblonde12, since there's nothing you can do about their relationship, you have to start making yourself feel better. Find things to distract you from them. Talk with friends and introduce yourself to people, so you won't have to sit and watch them at lunch. If you see them in the hallways, go in a different direction to avoid them. Spend more time around your true friends. Search for other things to make yourself feel good. Hope this helps! Xoxo Smile 


Lynae P.

by strawberryblonde12 on 4/9/2013 6:58:15 PM

 
 

 "The singer" meant Boy George a singer. I didn't want to say his name because I already wrote something about him because I didn't want to annoy you guys. Meghan D.

by iloveonedirection! on 4/5/2013 8:50:17 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!!
So next year my school is probably going to do a talent show and I was thinking that my friends and I would sing and dance to a song by a specific artist. I told my mom and I was like " if it's a stupid idea just tell me". Well I told her and the only thing she said was that " why do you keep talking about "the singer" ?". I felt really discouraged by her and I don't really want to talk to her about it. I was thinking about abandoning the whole idea. What should I do?

 

Hey iloveonedirection!, I don't understand what she meant by "the singer". Xoxo Smile 


Lynae P.

by iloveonedirection! on 4/5/2013 8:43:08 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMODMODMODMODMOD
I have a "BFF" who is really starting to annoy me. I have always known she had a couple of problems with not having a "filter", I guess you would say. She a little violent and (unfortunately really strong) and sometimes pinches or slaps me on the arm - hard. I rarely ever get mad and my other friends have always been there to help me when that happens but for some reason it's escalating. She's called me an idiot or stupid a couple of times- and she wasn't joking- and seems to be really embarrassed when I talk to her in front of "popular" girls. All around, she is jus plain mean. She's not my friend, I see that now, but how can I get away and not hurt her or make her mad enough to gossip and start rumors about me?

 

Hey halz123, maybe sit her down and explain how you feel. Tell her you feel as if you two are separating and you want to end the friendship. If she gets angry, remain calm and let her know you just wanted to be honest with her. As long as you're clear and gentle, everything should be okay. Hope this helps! Xoxo Smile 


Lynae P.

by halz123 on 4/5/2013 8:30:22 PM

 
 



MODMODMOD I am friends with a girl at school and I've been friends with her for a while. Lately I have been feeling like the third wheel. It kinda bothers me. She always talks about what her plans are and act like I am not even their. How do tell her without making her feel terrible? HELP! 

 

Hey girlie, just bring it up with her and tell her that you're feeling left out. She's not going to change what she's doing if she doesn't know that it upsets you. So be honest with her and get your friend back. 
Lauren T.

by Luvdance00 on 3/31/2013 8:26:56 PM

 
 

your in a better situation then me my bff almost ignores my half the time. it gets so annoying she spends her time with this girl named Aliya. i was going to go to Aspwn with Quinn (my BFF) but once Aliya came along she invited her instead of me. i was so uppset.

by koolkayla321 on 3/24/2013 10:15:41 PM

 
 

MODMODMOD
okay so there is this girl at my school. i have been her sorta friend for about a year anda half now. Around last year we would sometimes play around with each other and do stuff, and one day she dug her nails into my neck and left a mark for about 3 months. I was mad for a while but then i just sorta got over it. I have been friends with her all year long this year, then early in Feb. we were "play fighting" and she dug her nails into my hand and i still have a mark. over spring break i decided not to be her friend, and when i got back she was being really rude and saying mean things to me. and then suddenly she started being really nice to me. I have been nothing but nice to her and all she is is rude. she used to "joke around" and say stuff like "your stupid... jk" but after awhile she stopped saying jk. i dont know what to do.

Hey girlie,

It sounds like your friend might be going through a tough time and has some issues with violence and self-control that you don't want to be around. I would talk to a parent or guidance counselor about the situation for their advice, and try not to engage in "play fighting" or other activities that could trigger violence. If you have to be around her, try to stay in a public place or with other people so there will be less of a chance that she will hurt you. And please talk to a trusted adult about how to handle the situation!

Meghan D.

by radiolovergirl on 3/23/2013 11:37:12 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
i tend to eat a lot of sugary foods right now like brownies. i have really low self esteem and i'm insecure, and i want to stop eating.
please help.
thank you so much.

Hey girlie,

Maybe you could limit yourself from desserts instead of cutting them out completely and eat them in moderation with healthier foods. If you're eating when you're sad, finding something non food-related that makes you happy would help, like running or reading a good book. If you're still feeling down, I would talk to a parent or guidance counselor about what you're going through!


 
Meghan D.

by potterjay on 3/23/2013 10:37:21 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD


Hey girlie,

I can only imagine how tough things are for you. Because we wish you only the best, it’s extremely important that you speak to a trusted adult, such as a family member, doctor, guidance counselor, teacher, etc.


 



Also, for additional help, check out: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx



 



, Your Blog Patrol Babes


 

Meghan D.

by potterjay on 3/23/2013 9:40:23 PM

 
 



Mod Mod Mod
Is it possible that a 12 yr old might be depressed? What are the symptoms & causes of depression?

 

hey! I'm not an expert, but some symptoms include tiredness, feelings of hopelessness, lack of interest in things you used to enjoy. I hope you aren't feeling depressed honey! I have a resource here for you to check out:


 

Depression.com

Depression is one of the most common problems for teenagers today. Help can be found at depression.com, which offers information on understanding depression, treating depression and dealing with depression in everyday life. The site also details how others have recovered from depression, and offers tips in maintaining mental health.



PEER-BASED HELP:


Teenline


Teenline (teenlineonline.org) is hotline staffed by teens from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. PST. (Call 310-855-HOPE or 800-TLC-TEEN; toll-free in California only). The site also offers a Youth Yellow Pages to look up specific resources, 24/7 email, message boards and info on outreach services. 


Helen S.

by lilyBS123 on 3/23/2013 12:56:21 PM

 
 

You think you have friend problems. My friend moved to America from England in 4th grade. We were friends but didn't become BFFs until last year. This summer I found out that she had two more best friends in 6th grade (we are in 8th). They're twins. For a wile the four of us were really good friends, but one of the twins got super protective over my BFF. So then we fought and she flicked me off, I called it off with her. My BFF never puts any effort into our friendship, so I stopped texting her to see what would happen. A month has gone by and I haven't gotten one text. Now we are distant and whenever a problem comes up, she the victim. I want to be friends with her but that's gonna be hard because her mom and the twins mom are really good friends. I'm thinking of giving her up all together. It's like I'm wasting my time. I want to talk to her but she never responds to any of my texts. I'm worried its going to make things awkward around our other friends. Help!

by Bananarox11 on 3/23/2013 1:22:08 AM

 
 

Your in a better situation then I am. Okay so my so called best friend gets mad at me for no reason. She found a new best friend and shes a back stabber and I am sure she is saying stuff out me to my best friend making her mad at me and stuff and it makes me so annoyed!

by soccer.is.da.best on 3/22/2013 9:43:33 PM

 
 



MOD
I have a friend who may or may not like my crush. The three of us are all friends by the way. I know she liked him last year and asked him out but he said no. This year, I became very close to my crush while she had a boyfriend. They dated for 4 months and she broke up with him. She still hangs around my crush cause they are still friends and she has been messaging me lately about them hanging out all the time. I know my crush likes me back but does my friend like him again?

 

Hey Quietfriend1415, I think your friend does like him. Maybe you two should sit down and have a talk. You never want a boy to end your friendship, so discuss what to do in situations like this, where it may happen. It may be better that you two stay away from guys you both like, because someone may get hurt. Hope this helps! Xoxo Smile


Lynae P.

by Quietfriend1415 on 3/22/2013 7:34:11 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD PLEASE ANSWER SOON!!!
hey so tonite is the spring fling. I don't have a crew to go with. My old friends who i sorta hang out with but idk if they still even like me much are gonna be there, but my new friends are busy (my old friends and i didn't have a fight, we just hang out less btw) I wanna go , but not sure about flying solo, I feel self concious?! thanks!

 

Hey hockey-angel, why don't you call up your old friends? How will you know how they feel about you if you don't try to communicate with them? Send them a text asking wats up and if they're going tonight. There is nothing with going solo either. Sometimes you have the best fun by yourself. Hope this helps! Xoxo Smile 


Lynae P.

by hockey-angel on 3/22/2013 5:16:25 PM

 
 



Mod Mod Mod!!!!
March 23d-April 1st is my schools spring break. My family (4 people) are driving down to North Carolina. We have a toyota corrola and its really small, especially with the luggage. Any ideas on how to make the trip more enjoyable? And just fyi we're making the 10 hour trip in two days. Thanks!!!

 

Hey PandaLOver0330, bring music, snacks, and a book. Play car games with your family too. You guys could play "I Spy", "Punch Bugey, No Punchback" and sing songs like "99 Bottles of Beer On The Wall". Hope this helps! Have a fun and safe trip! Xoxo Smile 


Lynae P.

by PandaLover0330 on 3/22/2013 4:56:17 PM

 
 

hey guys I would really love it if you checked out my club RIP Hachiko
It's dedicated to the famous dog in Japan you can join if your a fan of hachi
like the Japanese Akita breed or just like dogs in general
if you haven't heard of him look up Hachiko the dog its a really
nice story but it's sad mailyse f.

by redvelvetluv on 3/22/2013 1:53:48 PM

 
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