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My sensitive friend can't handle the truth. What should I do?

I am writing about a friend problem. Lately it has been very hard to tell the truth to her. Why? Because she is very sensitive...
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dear mod,
i have 2 best friends (this might sound weird,1 is a guy,i'll say he's J.) well, on a school feild trip we were all hangin' out and J pulled me off to the side and asked me out on a date! i've never been on a date and didn't know how to answer....so i told him, that i've never been on a date before and he got this really disappointed look on his face. he hasn't talked to me since!!! my other best friend (i'll call her T) is the only 1 of the 2 who hangs out with me anymore. T_T i think he was being a little too sensitive. how can i get him to forgive me and hang out with T and i again!? Frown PLEASE RESPOND!!!

 

Hey Shiloh my doggy, do you have his number? If yeah, try calling or texting him. Let him know you weren't turning him down, just wasn't sure how dating works. Make it clear to him you still want to be friends too. Hope this helps! Xoxo Smile 

Lynae P.

by Shiloh my doggy on 8/6/2013 6:47:22 PM

 
 

mod mod mod
well yeah, but he left me feeling let down and everything. he rode my bus the next year at school for the time he was there, and he was really nice. I just want to get it all figured out because he left me feeling slightly insecure, and guys are doing this kind of thing to me (not taking dares to ask me out, but making me feel insecure) and I just want to know whats going on so I know what to do if anything like this happens to me again or a friend

 

Hey chica! Unfortunately, every guy is different, so I don't know if he was just being mean or if he just got caught up in the mix of some rude friends.  Either way, don't let him make you feel insecure, he and the other guys who make you feel insecure aren't worth a second thought- focus on your friends who make you feel awesome about yourself! xoxo

Kate G.

by ladybugg on 8/1/2013 3:34:33 PM

 
 

mod mod mod
ok, so a couple years ago, my crush asked me out via note. a couple of my friends told him that I said yes, and i was super excited. we had been going out for a couple days, but he never talked to me. the next day, i found out from a girl that he had only asked me out because his friends had dared him to. the worst part, my whole grade knew, and NOBODY had bothered to tell me. i was so embarrassed. the next year, he ended up moving out of state. my friend tells me now that he DID like me (she was friends with him), and that he thought i was pretty and smart, but i have a hard time believing her. he told me that day i found out that he was planning to break up with me. even though its over, i still don't know what to think. he wasn't a bully or anything, and would walk home with me and my friends. any ideas on any of this?

 

Hey girlie! I think you should just leave all of this in the past.  If it was a couple of years ago and now he doesn't live in the state! Move on and find a new crush- dwelling on the past isn't doing you any good. You'll find a guy at your school who understands how awesome you are whether or not this dude did in the past. xoxo 

Kate G.

by ladybugg on 8/1/2013 2:54:48 PM

 
 

MODMODMODMOD Ditch maybe isn't the right word, but this other girl sits for us for awhile, and then she says, "Hey, L, let's go to the rec field." And my bff is like "Okay, bye, V!" And we all leave...and I'm like...did she really just leave me? Is that right? And then she now says, "Oh I needed a ride home." And I said, "you could have told me that" and shes like I just did and I said no to begin with! So is she wrong?

 

Hey GL girl! It's okay for your friends to do stuff with other people, so giving them space to make other friends is important. Giving her a ride home if she needs one is also OK, even if she made you a bit angry.  

ElizabethGwenn

by futurewriter16 on 7/24/2013 2:20:49 PM

 
 

MODMODMODMODMOD

My bff said it was "obvious" that R said it two years ago. She also ditched me at starbucks with this girl I don't like. I've talked to her but she refuses to answer me and address the problem.

 

 

Hey GL girl! Yikes- it sounds like it's time to find some new friends. If your BFF is ignoring you and won't give you an answer, it's probably best to tell her that you like her as a friend but should take a short break from your friendship. Try doing fun stuff with other people you know- you'll make new friends in a heartbeat.

ElizabethGwenn

by futurewriter16 on 7/24/2013 2:04:18 PM

 
 

MODMODMODMODMOD No, I've decided I'm done with R. IT'S SUICIDE she said something about. Not something trivial. Some things you CAN'T forget. I'm GLAD to be done with R. And did I mention my BFF told me R said this TWO YEARS AGO?? Two reasons why that gets me mad. She didn't tell me it was two years ago until the blunt of the argument with R was over. And it gets me mad she didn't tell me as SOON as she heard it. She's like, oh I was scared you'd be mad. Well, YEAH....but you need to tell me as soon as you hear something...not two years ago. Any more advice?

 

  Hey GL girl! Sure thing- sounds like if R said this 2 years ago, and your BFF wanted to bring it up now, the issue's long gone. R may have done something that made you made, but it is over, and the fact that your BFF brought it up long after it happened seems odd. Talking to your BFF and asking her why she did what she did (telling you after it happened, created a facebook page demanding you apologize) will help. If you don't understand why your BFF did this, talk to her right away. Talking to your other friends about this issue will help as well- it's good to get multiple opinions when you're in a tough situation. And it's understandable that you're both mad about your BFF and R- what R did was mean and seems unfair to you. But it's important to forgive your BFF if you're really close with her.

ElizabethGwenn

by futurewriter16 on 7/24/2013 1:37:35 PM

 
 

MODMODMODMODMODMOD Okay, long story short, my best friend a month ago mentioned to me that this girl, lets call her R, who's really weird and sneaky but I tolerate(d) her, spread a rumor saying I was suicidal. I asked my BFF if I could call her out, and not mention her name, and my BFF said yes. I don't trust the girl who said the rumor, and I trust my BFF so I know she said it. So I called her out on it. She denied it, but R and I are done. Then BFF made a FB group chat forcing me to apologize. I refused. She said I was mean to R....no! What am I supposed to do, tolerate that? I asked BFF if she thinks what R did is right and she said it's not right or wrong, and that I shouldn't have said anything. What bugs me is that BFF is getting involved, but on R's side. If she tells me stuff like this, she needs to back me up. She said she refuses to back me up because she doesn't think I was right. So who's right....me, for not tolerating this final straw from R? Or my BFF?

 

Hey GL girl! The best way to tackle tough rumors like this are to 'laugh them off' - forget about who said it, and if anyone asks you about it, tell them it was just a silly rumor. What 'R' did was mean, but calling her out just makes her angrier at you and more likely to spread more rumors. Talk to your BFF and say that calling her out wasn't the best idea, but that you were really hurt by this mean rumor. Tell your BFF that you don't trust this 'R' girl and that you'll forget about the rumor she started. Chances are, both your BFF and 'R' will probably move on and forget about the rumor, too, and you'll be friends in no time.

    Hope this helps, GL girl!

ElizabethGwenn

by futurewriter16 on 7/24/2013 12:57:42 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
i have a really great group of close friends of about 12 people. we've grown up with eachother or known each other for years and we're all really close-we're basically like a second family. the only issue is that we're starting to grow up. age, what use to not be such a huge deal is kind of getting there. since we range from 16-19/20 years old, we're reaching a point where we're starting new chapters of our lives. but our common fear is that we all don't want to fall away and we want to stay connected. it mmakes it a bit easier now that most of us can drive, but what are someways that we can keep our other "family" connected?

 

 

Hey girl,

A Facebook group is a great way to update one another on your lives throughout the school year. Group texts also work when you're trying to all meet up. Be flexible with carpooling so that those without cars aren't left out. With busy schedules, its hard to stay connected with friends, but totally worth the effort. 

Caroline C.

by iheartu? on 7/22/2013 1:49:26 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD
So i have a serious problem. Yesterday i was hanging out with my bestie/soulmate when my friend txted me and i said hey im hanging wit my soulmate and she got really defensive and just said bye. i thought she was kidding so i let it go and kept hanging out with my bestie. Then i texted my friend lets call her Shea and she just started ranting about how i dont care about our friendship and told me that i hate her and so on. Im the easy going person that really doesnt care about a lot of stuff and i will tell u how it is. And at 11:30 at night and shes ranting i told her to stop trying to control my decision bcuz she was basically saying that its not fair tht i have a best friend tht isnt her. i really DONT feel like going thru that with her again. Should i just give her the cold shoulder or what??

 

Hey girlie, don't ignore her. Listen to how she feels and let her know that you're still her friend, but you don't want to continue this fight. You hurt her feelings, and giving her the cold shoulder will just make her feel worse. Listen to her side and then give her yours. 

Lauren T.

by YannaRox on 7/21/2013 12:11:25 PM

 
 

*MOD MOD MOD*

I'm in a predicament.
I'm going into high school, and I've got a crush on a guy going off to college. There's roughly a 4 year difference between the two of us, but intellectually, it's more like 2 years.
I was flirting with him when I met him at friend's house a few days ago, and he was flirting back even though he KNEW how old I was. (Nothing inappropriate.) but I can't get him out of my head now. What do I do?
I really want to get closer to him. I'm hopeless at the moment, please help?

 

Hey girlie, keep talking to him and find ways to spend more time with him. Get to know him better and see what happens! 

Lauren T.

by the_songbird on 7/15/2013 7:40:36 PM

 
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