Exactly how to tell him you're not interested--broken down by guy


Being liked by a guy is totally awesome—if you return his feelings. However, if ya don’t, it can quickly turn into a sticky stitch. For a clean cut, and to ensure you don’t have to do too much damage control later on, here’s GL’s guide to sending a message he’ll actually receive.

The Dude Your Friends Decided: He’s so cute, he’s so sweet, he’s so perfect… well, according to your friends. According to you? Not so much. First of all, let your friends know, loud and clear, that your relationship is not up to them. Sure, he may be nice, but he’s not right for you. They can’t argue with that. Once your friends lay off, you might even have time to actually get to know the guy—and decide for yourself if he’s all he was made out to be. 

The Ex Who Keeps Forgetting He’s an Ex: All right, maybe you did say that you wanted to stay in touch after the breakup… but you didn’t know that meant you would still more or less be dating. The key on this one is distance. Wait a couple hours to answer his texts, if you decide to answer them at all, and stay busy—especially when he asks what you’re up to next weekend. 

The Player That You’re Not Playing: So, you’re the next chica on his list. The problem is, he has a list. The best way to stay stress free and mess free is to quit while you’re ahead. Let him know of your feelings, or, the lack of, quietly and privately. He won’t want people to think he looks desperate, so he should let you go and move on fairly easily. Simply make it clear that not only are you not playing hard to get—you’re just not playing at all.

The Friend You Thought Was Friendzoned: This guy was supposed to be on friendzone level, like, one hundred. But the thing is, while you were babbling on to him about your latest crush, he decided you were his. In order to keep your friend a friend, clear your feelings fast. Let him know that he’s like a brother to you, and you don’t want to lose him to awkwardness. You want to make him feel important without making him feel, ya know, too important. 

The Boy Who Bounces Back: You’ve already told him you didn’t want to be in a relationship. Like, five times. But, somehow, he’s still “waiting” for you to come around. The best way to deal with this dude is to choose your words carefully and directly. He clings onto any hope he can find, so the key is clarity. Instead of saying, “I don’t know if I am planning to be in a relationship,” try saying, “I don’t want to be in a relationship with you.” It sounds harsh, but it’s a lot better in the long run. And please, please, please, do not tell him that you don’t think he’d want to be in a relationship with you. You’re going to have a hard enough time convincing him of your own feelings; you’re not going to convince him to change his. 

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by Melissa Trible | 2/1/2016