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Advice

How to breakup with someone you love

You haven’t been happy in your relationship for a while now, and you have constantly questioned why. It’s not like your sweetie did or said anything particularly wrong, but having no reason to leave is not a reason to stay in a relationship. So you've gotta have it: the breakup conversation. Here are some tips on how to start and follow through with this difficult chat.

Prepare him for the convo.
Before you have the breakup talk, prepare him for the conversation. You can do this by gently telling him that you have to talk to him about something serious. You don’t want this conversation to seemingly come out of nowhere and devastate him.

Choose the right time/place.
This is crucial. Pick a quiet, private place, like the parking lot by your school or a picnic table at a nearby park, and give yourself enough time (at least an hour) to have this conversation. You don’t want to go over to his house, quickly tell him and then just leave. You want to give him time to process the situation and say what he needs to say. 

Be honest and focus on yourself.
You can do this by using “I” statements (i.e. "I've been unhappy for a while," "I don't feel like myself," etc.). Also, this does not mean that you should ignore him or his feelings—it just means that you should tell him how you feel without accusing or blaming him for what is wrong with the relationship. Let him speak after you are done, and respond accordingly and respectfully.

Offer him space and/or friendship down the road.
For now, you both probably need space from one another, but don’t be afraid of discussing a future together as friends. Only offer that if you are comfortable. 

There is no question about it: breaking up is hard, and even harder if you still love him. We hope these tips make you feel more prepared going into the situation. 

Do you have any other advice? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below. 

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by Frannie Rooney | 8/17/2017
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