How to figure out if she likes girls without *actually* asking her

Proud Gay GIF by nicolle velcro

Growing up, we constantly see articles about how to flirt and get your crush to notice you. But how about advice on figuring out their sexuality? We don't want to be obvious, but we also don't want to get friend zoned without explanation. Here's our best take on how to *discretely* figure out if she likes girls—for all of our WLW relationships out there. 

p3 gull kiss GIF by NRK P3

Picture it: You just came out...and you're crushing on the new cutie in school. You aren't sure if she's also queer, but you want to ask her out. We've got ways to figure out if she's truly into you...and how to flirt once you've decided the vibes are there.

Figuring out if she ALSO likes girls...

Ask what music she listens to: If she mentions Clairo or Girl in Red (popular LGBTQIA+ artists), she might be flirting or trying to drop some hints.

Compliment or analyze her style: This is a classic approach to figure out in she's into queer culture. Look for essentials like Doc Martens, funky earrings or chains.

Pronouns: Listen to the pronouns she uses when talking about past romantic interests (if she doesn't only use he/him, she could be a part of the community).

Talk about queer culture with her: See if she's up to date on all things LGBTQIA+ (whether it be queer TikTok influencers or WLW representation in TV shows). 


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General flirting:

Talk about passions and interests: One of the best ways to flirt is to show genuine interest. Actively listen to what's going on in her life and she just may feel that spark.

Look at her lips and make eye contact: Do it subtly for a spicy conversation enhancement.

Touch her in passing: Whether it's grazing her arm or brushing the hair out of her face, a simple touch will dazzle almost anyone

Flirty Reaction GIF by Hayley Kiyoko

Quick note! Though the above tips may work for some people, not everyone fits these descriptions. Stereotyping based on sexuality can be very harmful. Use these tools to build the courage to ask her out—and handle rejection if it does happen—rather than deciding her sexuality yourself and discussing it with others. Be kind, be thoughtful and know that every LGBTQIA+ journey is different, unique and *totally* valid.

Slider photo: @brigetteelundypaine


by Abigail Hawtof | 4/6/2021