Three Is (NOT) Company!

I have an awesome friend, and thanx to my awesome friend I now have an awesome boyfriend! But my friend’s kinda gotten too carried away with being my messenger. I mean it was cool having her as my messenger before he was my BF because I was too nervous to talk to him. But now he’s my bf and she knows everything before I even know it. It gets on my NERVES!!!!

For example she told me that he was gonna hug me before it happened, and now she told me he wants to kiss me. It kinda makes my relationship with my BF boring. I know she’s just trying to be a good friend, but it bugs me. Can someone please tell me how to tell her to back off (nicely)!!!


Wow, Krystal. That's a tough one. Your BFF sounds like a sweet girl who wants the best for you. (I'm sure you want the same for her.) But I can totally understand how having a go-between w/ your BF could get old. Here are some things to consider.

1. How does your BF feel about the sitch? If he's "spilling the beans" about your relationship, maybe he's looking for confirmation about how you truly feel – before he takes a risk and kisses you. Or he may just want some friendly dating advice. (My buds talk about love all the time!) An option: casually ask if he'd mind confiding in a different friend, without alienating the one who got you two together.

2. Does your BFF have a crush or boyfriend? If not, it's possible she's living vicariously through the two of you – or just trying to stay close to you guys, without feeling like a third wheel. Try planning some "group dates" with a bunch of your friends. Then everybody can have fun without making you the center of attention. Who knows, she might even find a cutie of her own?!?!

3. Do you talk about your BF a lot? (Totally natural, if ya do.) It's hard not to bubble over with excitement when there's a new boy in your life. But there's a lot more to you—and your friendship. Schedule some girl time with your BFF and talk about everything from clothes to movies to pop quizzes. (Ugh!) By steering most of the convos away from your new guy, you'll remind her that you're still the same ol' you.

- Jessica
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1/28/2009 11:11:00 AM