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Advice

All the do's and don'ts of a long distance relationship

Let's be real: dating long distance can be a challenge. Whether you and your S.O. are used to the distance or not, having to go weeks (or months) at a time without seeing each other isn't ideal. The long-distance blues are *very* much real, and the stress of being so far apart can definitely have a toll on your mental and emotional health. The upside of being in a long distance relationship is coming up with new and creative ways to stay connected. If you're struggling to navigate your own LDR, here are all the do's and don'ts you def need to know. 

Do's

Snail Mail

That's right—old-fashioned letter writing is a super fun way to stay connected with your S.O.! Take a break from all the texting and send bae a handwritten note, complete with stickers, doodles or anything else you want to add. They'll be so excited when your letter finally gets to them, *and* you'll be just as happy when they write you back. Who doesn't like getting mail?

Phone Calls

Instead of texting all day, every day, why not pick a certain time of day to talk on the phone? By designating a special time to talk one-on-one, you'll be able to focus on everything your S.O. has to say without any distraction. Whether you talk for an hour before bed or for a few quick minutes before you start homework, you'll be oh-so-excited to hear your phone ring when they call!

Care Packages

Care packages are a sweet way to show someone how much you miss them, and they can be done on a budget. Send bae their favorite candy, some cozy socks and a little note saying how much you miss them. Your thoughtfulness will totally make their day. 

Weekly "date"

One of the worst parts of any LDR is not getting to go on real dates. A creative way to spend time together in-between visits is to plan one weekly "date" you both can look forward to. Watching a movie together over FaceTime isn't totally the same as being together IRL, but it can help make the distance feel a little shorter. 

Good morning texts

Constant texting is a no-go for a healthy long distance relationship, but checking in with each other in the morning is a *must.* Even if your text is as simple as Have a great day!, they'll know you're thinking of them. GIFs and voice recordings are other cute ways to say hello. 

Don'ts

Text constantly

Texting constantly is not the way to go in a healthy LDR. Instead of texting them every five minutes, opt for a certain time every day where you can talk about your respective days, uninterrupted and without distraction. Checking in with your S.O. is, of course, never a bad thing, but just be sure not to go overboard! 

FaceTime too much

FaceTime and other video message apps have made it possible to talk face-to-face with anyone, anytime. And while this is generally a good thing, try to space out these special calls. FaceTiming too much doesn't give you a lot of room to focus on all the other amazing things happening in your life, and it can quickly become a chore rather than something to look forward to. Talk to bae and figure out a balance that works for both of you. 

Focus on the distance

This can be a tricky one, but try not to think too much about the distance between you and your S.O. Spending too much time focusing on the bad can quickly turn your mindset into a spiral of negative thoughts. Whenever you feel the LDR blues sneaking up on you, go for a walk, write in your journal or talk to a friend or family member. Feel those feelings, then turn your attention to the next time you get to see your fave person. Before you know it, the only thing you'll be focusing on is how excited you are! 

Argue over text

Even long-distance couples can still get into fights. If you aren't getting along with your BF or GF, make it a priority to call them to work out your differences. They'll appreciate your willingness to communicate, and you'll avoid the hassle of trying to figure out what their texts *really* mean. Communication is key!

Blame them

When the distance feels like too much, it can be easy to take out your fustration on your S.O. On days where they aren't around to talk as much as usual, try your best to understand that they have a busy schedule just like you. Remember how much they care about you and think about all the things that make your relationship so amazing. Focusing on the positives *always* outweighs any negatives.

Let us know how you beat the LDR blues on Twitter @girlslifemag!

GIFs via GIPHY | Slider image via @lydianight on Instagram 

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by Lena Genovese | 11/3/2021
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