Not cool. My boyfriend acts completely different around his friends
There is a really sweet boy who lives next door. But when his friend is over, he’s a totally new guy! Instead of being sweet, he pretends to be cool and does things to impress his friends. He also tries to touch my butt! I still want us to be together but I don’t think it’s right to have a boyfriend that tries to do all these gross things. What should I do?
Hey there, chica! Finding a quality BF can be a tough thing to do. It’s great that you’ve found a guy who’s sweet to ya when you’re alone, but it sounds like this beau has some sour habits that just have to go.
To have a healthy relationship (whether you’re a couple or just buds), you’ve gotta have mutual respect. That means you have to accept each other’s choices, opinions and boundaries. Some of the things this guy is doing are totally out of line. And if you don’t like it, speak up, girl! He can’t read your mind, so you have to let him know that some of the things he does are definitely no-no’s in your book. It can be hard to speak your mind sometimes, but if you let something important go unsaid, chances are it’s not gonna get any better.
For some reason, lots of guys confuse being rude and disrespectful as being cool. Don't shrug it off and think it's not a biggie, because it is. Next time he says something rude or tries to touch you in an inappro way, sternly tell him to stop or swat his hand away. And let him know you mean business! If he doesn’t take a hint, try talking to him about it when you’re alone. If it’s just you two, he’s more likely to really take what you have to say to heart. And if he STILL keeps it up? That's some serious sexual harassment. Talk to a trusted adult or guidance counselor and get help!
Wherefore art thou, Romeo?
You know you're awesome, and you deserve and equally awesome dude. If this guy changes his ways, that’s great! But if he doesn’t start treating you right (at ALL times), you have to respect yourself enough to say adios. You're better off looking for a guy who respects you than sticking with a jerk who doesn't.
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