Betrayed by a bud? What to do right now
When you find out that a friend has stabbed you in the bag, whether she’s spilled an embarrassing secret or stolen your BF, your gut reaction will probably be to explode. Contain that fury though, chica, ‘cause once it’s out there, you won’t be able to take it back. Go on social media lockdown for at least 24 hours—no angsty FB status updates, no furious tweeting. The key here is not to create additional drama.
Let it out
It’s time to find a new shoulder to cry on. Maybe it’s Mom, a sib or another close friend. Choose someone who will be tight-lipped—ideally an individual that isn’t in the same social circle as your ex-bestie.
When two buds break up, life becomes difficult for them. But what about for their mutual friends caught in the middle? Don’t punish your other pals by making them choose between the two of you. Let them stay neutral—after all, this is your fight, not theirs.
After you’ve had time to cool off, write a letter or email or talk to your old friend face-to-face. Keep your cool as you tell her how her actions have made you feel. Remember to breathe and stay calm, and not to summon accusations. The point is to communicate honestly, not to inspire a guilt trip (although that’s a pretty good bonus, we’ve gotta admit), so discuss your feelings rather than her actions.
Focus on forgiveness
I know, easier said than done, right? Still, forgiving your friend—even if you two are never buddy-buddy again—will help you move on and start enjoying life again. When you drop the anger you’ve been holding onto, you’ll feel lighter, less stressed and more willing to strengthen your bonds with other fab femmes.