"Dear Carol, I don't know how to cope with my twin's death"
My twin sister died when we were a day old. I don’t know how to cope. I feel broken and no matter how hard everyone tries to glue me back together, I never stick. I have to pretend that I’m OK, when really I feel that this heavy weight of grief is resting on my shoulders. I have to put on a happy face to not draw attention. I know you understand because your book describes it.
I do know the heavy weight of grief, but I never experienced losing a twin and I am so sad for you and your parents. From what I’ve read, losing a twin even in utero (before birth) can leave the surviving twin aware of the shadow sibling. That said, it’s time for you to find a way to give your twin sister a great big kiss and tell her that you are going to live for both of you. She wouldn’t want you to feel weighted down. She’d want you to soar. A few sessions with a therapist might help you realize that you have honored her short life with your grief, but that it’s important for you to live your life as fully as possible.
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