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How I learned that moms can be friends, too

 

Somewhere around 6th grade it seems that your parents become the most annoying, embarrassing and controlling people on the planet. Suddenly you're going through all these changes and you don't know how to relate to them anymore. One of the closest relationships you had is now teetering on the edge of disaster: your relationship with your mom. 

Puberty is hard. You're finally starting to feel like a grown up, at least a little bit. You're getting new responsibilities and discovering who you are. There's a constant struggle between what decisions you feel like you should be able to make and what your parents actually let you do. As a teenager, I got into an argument with my mother almost every day. There wasn't much of a mother-daughter relationship...it was more of a power struggle between two fiercely independent ladies.

No matter what it was, I always felt like I needed to do exactly the opposite of what my mother thought was a good idea. I needed to show that I was 13 so *obviously* I was basically an adult and I knew what I was doing. Whether it be what to wear on a cold day or how to organize for school, I didn't want to hear it. I developed a nasty attitude and shut my mother out, choosing to confide in my friends instead who were, newsflash, just as clueless as I was.

As I got older and relieved of the fog of adolescence, I realized that I was the only one making my life and my relationship with my mother so difficult. If you find yourself in the middle of or on the cusp of this phase, here's a revolutionary thought: your mom is not your enemy, and she can actually be your biggest ally. You're becoming a woman, and finding your footing and growing up can be challenging, but who better to help you through all the awkward, sad and ridiculous times than your mom who, believe or not, was right in your shoes at some point in time. 

Once I realized that my mom had my best interests at heart, as a mother and a fellow woman, and that she's acutally pretty fun, intelligent and a giver of amazing hugs and advice, my life became so much easier. A weight was lifted off of my shoulders once my mom and I developed a bond and a level of trust where I could tell her *almost* anything without a fear of being judged. This may seem implausible where you are now, but your mom can *actually* be one of your closest friends. Save yourself the trouble of rebelling for no reason. You actually need the guidance, trust me. I 100% should have listened to my mom when she told me it was a little tacky to wear my oversized Knicks hoodie everyday for a month.

Now, following this advice doesn't mean that your relationship with your mom will always be smiles and roses, you're both still human and make mistakes, but I promise it will be a lot nicer in the long run. There's definitely something to be said for making your mom your bestie.

What's your favorite thing about your mom? Let us know in the comments. 

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by Cydnii Jones | 12/2/2017
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