5 things to tell yourself when your parents are arguing

When your parents argue, it's totally normal to feel the effects in a really personal way. It can make you sad, angry, worried...the list goes on. The most important thing, though, is to remember that their fighting has *nothing* to do with you. Here are five truths to tell yourself during tough times.

"It's not my fault"


When your parents argue, it's normal to start racking your brain for what you may have done to cause it. "Is this because I didn't do my chores? Are my extra curriculars costing too much money?" But before you put yourself in the middle of their drama, remember that you are not to blame for their fighting. They are adults, and these are their issues to resolve. 

"I can try to find a lesson in this"


When you hear your parents fighting, it's normal to feel hopeless or convince yourself that things will never get better. One way to cope? Learn from your parents' mistakes. Are they quick to yell? Do they insult each other? Next time you're angry at a family member, friend, etc., take a breath and remember that there's always a *peaceful* way to proceed.

"They still love each other" 


Seeing two people you care about in a disagreement can make it seem like they don't like each other, and though it can be true (sometimes), it usually isn't. Parents may get into arguments over the smallest things, and a bad day at work can lead to more arguing than normal. However, at the end of the day, they still care about each other and you.

"I don't have to take sides"

Feeling torn between two people can be *super* stressful, but it's worth remembering that you do not have to pick a side. Their issue doesn't have to be yours. Instead, remind them that you love them both equally.

"Everything will be ok"


Witnessing a bad argument can ruin your day, but those feelings and situations don't last forever. If you're feeling down about the commotion, then try mentioning that to your parents. You can all work together to schedule more family time or to commit to handling disagreements in a more constructive way.  

How do you deal when your parents argue? Let us know in the comments if you want to vent. 

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by Haley Brown | 2/17/2020