Tough Stuff

"I think my BFF's mom hates me—what do I do?"

I haven’t done anything wrong, but my BFF's mom thinks I’m a bad influence. We’ve been friends for a long time so I have no idea why her mom hates me so much. I’ve talked to my friend about it, but she always tries to change the subject. It’s straining our friendship because almost every time we try to hang out, her mom tries to stop it! Plus, it makes me mad that her mom has the wrong idea about me. How can I fix this mess?

Hey, girl! Sorry to hear about the tough sitch. My BF’s grandmother wasn’t my biggest fan at first. It can be really upsetting, and it definitely put a strain on a relationship of any kind. But, here are a few tips that I hope will help you out.

Step 1: Be a leading lady
If your friend’s mom thinks you’re a bad influence, prove her wrong by being the most polite, most friendly gal you can be. Whenever you go over, say hi and talk to her mom. Ask her how she’s doing and express interest in what she says. And if she’s cooking dinner or working on a project, offer to give her a helping hand by setting the table or grabbing her the pair of scissors she needs. She’ll definitely notice these small acts of kindness.

When you’re hanging out with your friend and she’s around, make sure you behave yourself too. Show her you know your manners while still being yourself. This is what I did, and it made a huge difference. If you demonstrate you’re not a bad influence, she’s likely to change her mind.

Step 2: Buddy system
Your friend tries to avoid the situation, but if things don’t get better, you need to talk to her about it. Let her know this is really important to you and ask her to please not change the subject. Ask her why her mom doesn’t like you and see if she could talk to her mom first and try to change her mind. When you find out why she’s not your biggest fan, try to change your behavior to something she’ll find more acceptable.

Step 3: Confront her
If all else fails, it may be time for more drastic measures. If it really seems like nothing changes, you may want to try talking to her mom about it. When your friend’s not around or when you call to see if your friend can hang out, go ahead and ask her why she doesn’t like you. (But make sure you stay polite and respectful!) Tell her you’re sorry if you’ve done anything to offend her, but you want to make things right. It’s super bold, but it may just get through to her by showing her that you’re mature enough to handle a tough situation.

Good luck!


by Kristen Y. | 4/19/2019