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Tough Stuff

GIRL TALK: La Vida Lonely

UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE!

{For CharmAndBrace and anyone who feels very depressed or is experiencing bullying at school. Please check out the note and additional resources at the bottom of this blog.}

ameliegreen.jpg

i have a biiiggggg biggggggggg problem…..i cant lose my loneliness, today, i went to schoool, and went to our school bowling league and when i came home from it, i had some dinner (pizza! yay!) . then went onine b/c i was bored and i cant get over my loneliness. i dont want to go anywhere and i just want to sleep for the rest of my life!!!!

christttinaaa'

Hey, Christttinaaa. First of all, you rock because you're doing the right thing: reaching out!

It's not unusual for girls to experience the blues during puberty, thanks to all those crazy hormonal changes. And you will definitely "meet" lots of girls on here who've either experienced your sitch or just wanna keep you company while you're working things out.

It sounds like you still get excited about little fun things (YAY, PIZZA!) and you’re socially involved (bowling league, etc.) which is important. You can always consider trying a different club or activity if you’re not “clicking” with the peeps in this one. But sometimes our hormones make us feel sad, even when we have the perfect “social network” of friends and family.

If you feel like crying more than usual, have changes in eating or sleeping habits, seem to be overreacting to everyday stresses, or have feelings of hopeless, it’s essential to talk to someone…now. Depression is both common and treatable. And you deserve to be happy!

Here’s a great link on T(W)EENS & DEPRESSION.

If depression isn't really the issue, there are other reasons why you might want to just stay home and sleep. Like, you may be tired! With today’s school pressures, social activities, entertainment options, 24/7 communication methods, and high-octane caffeine drinks, it’s rare for any “tweenager” to consistently get the sleep she needs.

Here are some ideas to help you CATCH SOME ZZZZs.

And remember: If you want to chill out at home, write in a journal, read a book, catch up on your fave shows, or just hang with the fam … that’s totally cool. Withdrawing from your social circle (and into yourself) may be a sign of depression. But there is a difference between feeling lonely and wanting some alone time.

Whichever you’re feeling, please talk to a parent, guidance counselor, teacher or another favorite grown-up just to be on the safe side. We’re all rooting for you, babe. And you can definitely get through this phase.

xoxo,
jessica b.

NEED HELP? Check GL's list of trusted resources for depression, eating disorders, abuse and other serious issues.

{update}

I am depressed, actually now. i have been picked on ever since pre-school, no one really liked me and they still don't. I do have friends, but I feel upset and sorry for them because they are picked on too.

That was at my "post-old" school, and when i went to my "old" school last year, i was picked on and physically abused by people there - not sexually. I had no friends at this school, so I was a mute for the rest of the year, and acted fake so people would like me. Now I am at my new school, and I have real friends. Except I am still abused and it hurts because no one realy likes me. i had hopes for each school, but whats the point?

I hate my life and my parents are in a serious problem with money and i hate everything... and it's been two years since i have cried infront of anyone because I seem to bottle up... and today I actually cried, alone though. I really have hit the red button and have huge suicide thoughts, i just don't feel the point of life if everything revolves horribly. I mean this world is filled with alot of mean people, i just don't know why they aren't empathetic....

CharmedAndBrace'

Charm, I am so sorry to hear how depressed you are feeling. No one has the right to abuse you and it has to stop. I know you are trying to be strong and "bottle things up" (in part, because your parents have stresses of their own). But please remember, YOU ARE THE KID here. I think your parents need to know how you're feeling so you can take positive steps toward being happy, whether that's seeing a doctor or therapist, talking to a school official about what's happening to you, or finding safe social outlets where you can make friends and be yourself. (Heck, if I have to come over there and be your bodyguard, I will! =)

As bad as things may be, depression can distort your ability to see things clearly--and take away your drive to make them better. But there ARE good people out there who care. And I know you can get through this. Seriously.

So please PROMISE us that you'll talk to your parents or another trusted adult right away. And I want you to write back on the boards or e-mail me (jessica@girlslife.com) to let us know you've taken that step, ok?

Much Love,
Jessica B.

{new resources!}

DON'T WAIT! If you ever feel hopeless, like you want to hurt yourself or someone else, please call the National Hopeline (1-800-SUICIDE), the Youth America Hotline (877-YOUTHLINE) or just dial 411 and ask for your local suicide hotline or crisis center.

BULLY FOR YOU. If you or your friends are being picked on, check out KIDS AGAINST BULLYING. Don't miss "Carmen's Quick Comebacks" under the SMART STUFF tab. And remember, bullying is not your fault (unless you're the bully!)

11/20/2006 5:03:10 PM
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