Tough Stuff

I have no idea what I want to do with my life—and that's OK

When I was 7 years old, our first grade class was asked to write out what we wanted to be when we grew up, followed by a sentence explaining why. Logically, I decided to write that I wanted to be a rock star. Why? "Because it sounds rock-y," I wrote. It was a perfectly logical explanation for a completely illogical path. At that age, any idea seemed possible and as a confident first grader, my imagination was my reality.

As I got older, I came to fully realize just how difficult becoming a musician would be without a musical bone in my body. Then as a college student, the world started to feel a whole lot smaller and those plans seemed much more far-fetched. So, becoming a rock star has been replaced with a more reasonable set of goals...what those were, though, I wasn't quite sure yet.

As a perfectionist, I resented this season of my life for a long time. Because when any adult finds out that you are in school, I can guarantee you'll be asked, "What’s your major?" soon followed by the inevitable, "So... what are you planning to do with that?" Each time, these questions lead to different answers. Teacher, maybe a doctor? No…law school, for sure.

That's where I struggled and—spoiler alert—am still struggling. I want to be the sure-of-herself perfectionist. But in all honesty, I have no idea what I want to do with my future. As someone who takes pride in having control, not having a plan often drives me crazy and it makes me feel imperfect and inadequate. As a result, I end up spreading myself too thin, attempting to fill my fear of the unknown with busy work.

Over time, though, I’ve come to learn that it is OK not to have everything figured out right now.

Attempting to rush to put all of your puzzle pieces together has a way of robbing you of all the amazing moments along your journey of self discovery.  Whether you’re in middle school, high school or even college, embrace all that the unknown has to offer you. Take this gift of freedom to try something new and totally outside of your comfort zone. You never know, you might find yourself in the midst of a brand new passion. I encourage you to stop worrying, let go and enjoy the ride.

What's the most important thing you've ever learned about yourself? Share in the comments!


by Sydney Haywood | 6/24/2018