Hurting on the inside...
I have no idea what’s wrong with me. I'm very outgoing, I have really good friends, and an OK family life, but I think I might have depression.
I will be really happy one second and sad the next. I have been anorexic and bulimic, and I cut myself. I have also tried to kill myself two times, but other than that I am a very happy person. I am very preppy. I like to wear bright shirts and skirts and jeans. I'm also a positive person most of the time.
Most of my friends know about my eating problem. I told them that I don't do it anymore, even though I do. My friends are very judgmental and sometimes make jokes about emo people cutting themselves.
I need help. I was going to go to a school counselor and keep the problem private, but with budget cuts our school had to cut counselors. I really know deep down that I need help, but I am too scared. I don't want to go to a counselor or therapist who pretends to care. I also don't want to go to a rehab facility.
That's some serious stuff, but please remember that you’re not alone and you shouldn’t have to deal with this alone. Find someone you feel totally comfortable around. Make it someone who you know won’t judge you. It could be an older sib, a BFF, a trusted teacher or your fave aunt. Tell them how you’re feeling. It’ll be sooo good to just let it all out.
The person you tell will help you figure out the best thing to do. Your sitch seems pretty serious, so you may want to consider professional help. If you start working on this problem before it gets too serious or blown out of proportion, you’ll probably never have to go to a rehab facility to deal with it. Find a counselor or therapist who you trust. It’s fine to shop around…if you get stuck with someone who you don’t like, it’s OK to switch doctors.
Another way of dealing is to distract yourself. Focus on what makes you feel good and happy. Do you love letting everything out into a journal? All about getting your emotions out on a good run? Really into rockin’ out? Let your stress go in positive ways instead of negative ones. And while you’re at it make a li’l list of all the things you’re grateful for Or add pics of you and your friends or collage up concert tix or other souvenirs of fun times. Hang it on your wall for inspiration any time you get sad.
So, don’t be sad, girl. It’s sounds like you’re going through a tough time, but please remember that you’re not alone. Seek the help of others, focus on positive ways to improve yourself and have faith in yourself. I know you can do it!
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