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Tough Stuff
Getting back in-control
I suffer from depression and used to hurt myself. I am also dating someone who is abused at home and used to be depressed and cut, too. We helped each other out of it, and are both doing a lot better now, but I am still having trouble. He used to call me late at night when he felt suicidal, and I would help him get through it, but I have never been more terrified in my life. Sometimes I still feel afraid at random times, and I'm not sure what is wrong with me.
Whenever it’s "that time of month" I get especially depressed and sometimes suicidal almost. And I often still have bad urges to hurt myself, even though I really don't want to. I'd like to say I am in-control of myself, but I am not. And I have no idea how I should handle what I thought I was done going through, and I think there might really be something wrong with me.
-Not in-control
Hey girl,
Sorry to hear you're going through some tough stuff right now. But since you helped your BF when he was having problems, don't be afraid to let him help you. When you're feeling bad, it's OK to call him up to just vent. And the best part about it is that he knows exactly what you're going through. Now that he's doing better, he'll be able to help you out, especially since he's been there himself.
Us girls always get moodier and more easily upset when it's that time of month. I know I get sad about the dumbest things, so I can only imagine how scary it must be for you. Because you used to cut yourself, it's normal that you sometimes feel like you want to do it again. But, I'm glad you realize that you don't really want to hurt yourself because knowing that it doesn't help will get you through all this. I know it's a scary thing to do, but def consider getting a counselor. A pro can help you find out how to get back into control. If you don't want to go alone, ask your BF to go with for added support.
Also, focus on the positives. Instead of looking at all of the bad things that have been bothering you, try to concentrate on the good things. When you get a good grade on that tough test, congratulate yourself. And when you know you're looking good, acknowledge it. Busy yourself with activities you enjoy and spend time with fun peeps who make ya laugh. Surrounding yourself with positive energy will help bring you out of your dark urges. And count the good stuff that you've already got going for you--like you're awesome BF who is helping you through these tough times, and who I'm sure will continue supporting you.
Things may be tough now, but they can and will get better. Don't worry, be happy. Good luck, girl!
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POSTED IN cutting, dealing with depression, therapy
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