A competitive (and mean!) volleyball chica

There's this girl who goes to my school who is obsessed with volleyball. This year there are A and B teams. The A team has the better girls and she's one of them. She acts like it's a big deal and she brags about it.

She also thinks all of the girls on the B teams (that would be me!) are losers.

Hey lady,

Let’s get one thing out of the way—just because you are on the B team, doesn't mean you're a loser. It sounds like this sistah has some serious insecurity issues that's she's trying to cover up with her volleyball skills. Maybe her grades aren’t that great, so she picks on everyone else. Or, her mom and dad just got divorced. Whatever her issues are, she doesn’t have the right to make fun of you or anyone else.

B true to yourself

You shouldn’t be ashamed to be on the B team. There are probably a lot of girls who tried out and didn’t even make it as far as you did, so props to you. And you definitely shouldn’t let someone else make you feel like crap for not being on the first squad. The most important thing is that you're having fun, doing a sport that you love and trying your best!

A-ce this one

Next time this girl gives you a hard time, you could politely tell her, “Hey, I really respect  you and the rest of the A ladies, but the B girls are a great and talented group, too.” When you stand up for yourself and act super-confident, she'll probably just be shocked into silence. Or you could try flattery and friendship to soften her up. Ask her to help you with your serve and she’ll see you take the sport seriously, too.

You go, girl!

Of course, you shouldn’t expect her to change overnight. More than likely, her problems have nothing to do with you—so don’t take it personally. Most schools have varsity and junior varsity teams. While there is always room for improvement, you should be proud of yourself and your skills. No one—not even this girl—can take that away from you. Oh, and if he teasing goes too far (say she really starts to belittle lotsa ladies on your B-side), take it to Coach. This sistah's got game, but she's seriously slacking in sportsmanship.

Lots of love,

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2/25/2010 7:00:00 AM