My BFF worships my sister

My BFF is completely OBSESSED with my sister! She stalked my sister so much on Facebook that my sister had to block her, and my pal is always telling me her opinion on my sister’s social life and friends. It's getting annoying and weird, plus I want my friend back!

Hey girl,

I’m so sorry to hear about your bestie, how awkward! I’m sure your sister is cool but hey, like you said, you want your friend back. Have a serious pow-wow with your pal and tell her to take it down a notch.

Get to the bottom of it

Try finding out what your friend's deal is. Why does she worship your sis? Get her one-on-one to find out the scoop on this situation. Something straightforward, but not too harsh like, "Hey, I know you really respect my sis, why is that?" might be enough to get her talking. Your friend probably feels left out, since she might not have a sis or role model of her own to look up to for advice on hair, clothes, makeup and boys. Feel her out and find out her reasons behind the obsession.

Offer an alternative

Your pal can totally find other peeps to look up to. Some prime examples? Celebs that have a great rep—like Tay Swift—can help her out. Encourage her to start keeping tabs (cough, cough as in NOT seriously stalking) on a celeb she likes by checking entertainment blogs, watching their music videos and tuning in to their TV appearances. She'll get fashion and makeup advice from the pros. Who knows? Maybe she'll snag a whole new look that'll make her confident enough to stop mooching off everyone else's.

Point out her good traits

Everyone's unique—it's just that some of us have more trouble finding out what makes us special. Your friend probably "stalks" your sister because she feels like she isn't cool. But, think about it. WHY are you pals with this girl in the first place? Does she give great advice? Is she an awesome listener? Is she an amazing artist? Compliment her the next time she does something amazing. "OMG! Your self-portrait rocks! Why don't you join the art club?" could do the trick. You're showing her that she's talented, and you're encouraging her to get involved in new stuff.

Mutual understanding

Make sure you and your bestie have a mutual understanding of the sitch. If she STILL seems obsessed with your sis, have you sister sit her down for a talk, or have her write an e-mail about how uncomfy this makes her feel. Most important: Tell your pal that you love and respect her as a friend and don't want to lose her. Good luck!

-Olga B.

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3/10/2010 7:00:00 AM