Forgiving an Abuser?
My dad was an internet predator and sexually abused me and my twin sister. He's now in prison. The thing is, I haven't forgiven him and I don't know if I want to. I feel guilty not forgiving him, but I'm still furious and don't know if I can. I there any way you can help?Hey, girl. Wow, I can’t imagine what you must be going through. I have friends who have been abused and while it may not count for much, it breaks my heart that you had to go through that. You deserve so much more.
Make Y-O-U Your PriorityHonestly, I’m not sure I would be able to forgive my parent. I know you want to forgive your dad, but it completely makes sense that there’s still a ton of anger and hurt in your heart. Before you face him, it is most important to deal with what you’re going through. Y-O-U are your priority.
Talk it OutWith so many feelings inside of you right now, the best thing to do is talk about it. Whether it’s your twin sis’, a counselor, your mom or any adult you feel close to, find someone to talk to. It may be kinda scary at first to expose your most raw emotions to someone, but it will really help. Try keeping a journal, too. Writing all your thoughts and frustrations in a place that is private is way comforting.
Trust YourselfDon’t feel pressured to think or feel a certain way. Your true feelings, no matter how different they may be from how you think you “should” feel, are real and valid. When it comes to forgiveness, understand that you don’t need to forgive him. That is your choice. You know what is best for you. Trust your gut.
Learn to Overcome ItWhat does forgiveness mean in this situation? It does not mean that you should forget and things will go back to the way they were. Forgiveness for you is learning to deal with and accept what has happened and not let it weigh you down or control your life. You have so much to offer and a bright future ahead of you. As tough as it is, move past this and don’t let it get in your way. Stay strong, girl.
~Kristen Y. <3
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