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GIRL TALK: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

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ok guys i got a prob I care WAY toooo much of wat ppl think of me. I mean at first it was just looking into the mirror, now im obsessed. Really im always looking at how many calories are in the food i eat. I always think stupid things like ‘wat if there somthing in the back of my shirt and i cant see it” i dont like to wear tight pants which all of my friends say i look awesome in b/c im afraid they will split. I’ve tried to stop. I stop eating sometimes for a couple days.(dont worry) I’m tring so hard not to care what ppl thing of me but i just cant. whenever ppl are laughing i think its about me and get self-consious. Its really bad. all of my friends kow about my problem and even my mom is like”u look in the mirror way too much, are u ok”. i kow im not fat but i always think i am. please help. its so hard. u think it would be easy just to not care about what ppl think but it isnt. HELP

~dancinqueen~

Ok so this is kinda really alot embarassing, but here goes...
First of all, I’m really self-conscious about my appearance. I’m the only girl in my school who hasn’t started “developing” and even if it doesn’t matter it does to me. but that’s not the big problem. see, i have this 9-yr-old sis who’s already hit puberty!! i didn’t even hit puberty ’till last year (you really don’t need to know how old i was)!!! she’s more hormonal then me (not to say that’s a bad thing), more “developed”, and almost taller!! i mean, that’s not too bad, and my friends don’t notice. but my dad does (”hey, *SIS* is already getting boobs b4 *OLDER SIS*”), and when we go in public, people automatically assume that I’M the little sis!! do you know how humiliating that is?? How do I deal?? i really can’t stand this much longer.

~Elisio~

My BFF has a crush on this boy. A few weeks ago, he called her FAT! Since then, she hasn't really eaten anything. I told the school counselor, and she just called her mom. I don't think that anyone is really helping her. I bought her something at lunch, but she used the usual excuse of "I'm not hungry!" What can I do to help her???

~Gabbie~'

Dear dancinqueen, Elisio, and Gabbie...

I’m so glad you ladies came to us for help!

It’s totally normal to feel insecure about how you look sometimes. Who hasn't had one (or 50!) of those fitting-room-mirror moments where you just wanna curl into fetal position and whine?!?! Certainly no chicks I know! But we don’t want to see any of you girls beating yourself up about it!

What should you do the next time a mirror "mood swing" hits?

When you find yourself criticizing...well...yourself, compliment (you guessed it) YOURSELF on something else. Maybe you’re not thrilled about owning a pair of AA cups, but you have to admit your soprano solo is was sweet today. Or your hair has been behaving so nicely lately!

Next, do something fun and low-key that has nothing to do with how you look. Crank up your favorite song—and dance ON THE BED (a la "13 Going on 30")! Help out your little bro with his curve ball. Or invite your BFF over for an old-fashioned slumber party. Unless you decide to fly solo (we all need "alone time" every once in a while), just be sure to surround yourself only with people who make you feel totally comfortable. (Def leave the crush at home!)

And make sure to always treat your body right! Stay active, but by doing things you enjoy like walking the dog or playing volleyball with the girls. The only diet you chickadees needs to be on (unless your doctor tells you otherwise) is a well-balanced one. And don’t you dare starve yourself, even for a day.

If your friend’s the one with the self-esteem issues, you can try these techniques with her, too. Make a point to compliment her about anything you believe makes her a truly awesome gal, or ask her to do something fun that will take her mind off of her looks. If your bud’s still blue after a few days, let her know that you’re worried about her. (And feel free to show her this blog!)

If you feel like what you see in the mirror is way different from what everybody else sees, talk to a parent or another trusted adult. This can be a sign of an eating disorder or another serious issue. (If you're worried about that, I've added some links at the bottom just for you.)
I really hope this helps! And just remember, every girl deserves to feel confident in her body.

xoxo,
Robin H. from GL

Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty - See what models really look like, sans the hours of make-up, hair, personal training and retouching.

About Face - A non-profit group dedicated to cool, confident girls and women!

National Eating Disorders Association - Remember, eating disorders are not your fault! But they are dangerous. Treatment can be just a click away.

BLOGGING BEAUTIES: Have you ever been in a situation where you were self-conscious? What helped you realize you really are the cutie we always knew you were? Help out our G-Blog Stars of the Day!

POSTED ON 12/29/2006 10:05:12 PM

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